Whole persons

 I have been familiar with, and a proponent of the Charlotte Mason method of home education for many years but it has only been recently that I have fully understood her "born persons" theory.

Charlotte Mason believed that children were born as whole persons, already imbued with a body, soul, spirit, mind, will and emotions. She believed that the purpose of education was to draw out the best of what was already there, to help children to reach the potential that was already present within them.  

She says:

"If we have not proved that a child is a born person with a mind as complete and as beautiful as his beautiful body, we can at least show that is, that his mind is the instrument of his education and that his education does not produce his mind." (my emphasis.)

Charlotte believed that a child was already a whole person and by feeding and nourishing him or her as a whole person they would develop naturally and reveal that whole person. 

When Charlotte Mason wrote this, children were educated in quite a different way.  Educational philosophy dictated that each part of a child was separate and must be developed and focused on by a teacher in a particular order in order for a child to become a complete person.  

It was thought in Charlotte Mason's time that some children were not capable of elevated thinking and their minds were only fit for manual labor, it was not considered worth educating them on the arts or history etc, but Charlotte believed that all children could find value and beauty in Art, Poetry and Literature to one degree or another if only they were exposed to the wonder of it and given the opportunity in the right environment and with the right approach. 

This might sound very sensible to our modern ears, though it was quite revolutionary in the late 1800s to early 1900s.  However we still have far to go in order to really understand children as Charlotte Mason did, and to put her philosophy into practice. 

I saw a clip from the news recently showing a young man receiving his GCSE results, he had done very well, achieving top grades.  I looked to the comments section below and read a comment implying that if only all children worked as hard as this child, then everyone could achieve as he had. 

   

I feel like I am a testament to the inaccuracy of this statement, having worked so hard and with excellent teaching I still only achieved a grade C in maths.  I am extremely proud of that grade C, it was what I needed to get where I wanted to go and I worked so so hard for it.  I do not believe there is any way that I could have done better, I could not have worked harder, my own mental capacity in this subject area was what limited me.  I flourished in other subjects and that's ok, we cannot all be experts in everything.  

However I think the world forgets this, we live in a time where we are told, and we tell our young people that they "can do anything you set your mind to" (Benjamin Franklin) if they work hard enough. This is not true and it is incongruent with Charlotte Mason's philosophy (Sorry Ben!) Charlotte acknowledges that each child has different capacities, limits, strengths.  She says "Genius comes by nature" that is to say that some children have genius and some do not and no amount of education can create it.  And that's ok!  The point being that a child is not born as a blank sheet of paper just waiting to become either a genius (with the correct attitude, mindset and willpower) or a delinquent (with the wrong attitude, mindset and lack of willpower), their born nature plays an important part as well.

  

It is easy to dismiss children who are struggling in a subject or skill as simply not trying hard enough, not working hard enough or not applying their mind enough to the task, and this is where the notion that "you can do anything you set your mind to" is problematic.  The reality might simply be that their born nature has strengths that would excel elsewhere given then right environment, habits and approach. 

I couldn't have put my mind to it any harder that I did back when I did my maths GCSE, my limit was a C. It wasn't any lacking in my upbringing that meant maths wasn't my strength, it was my born nature. 

The other problem I see with people not seeing children as whole persons is that, because they see a child as a blank sheet of paper waiting the have a mark made upon it, they expect children to be exact replicas of themselves or their parents, (for good or for ill) parents want their children to behave and act in the way that they would, or at least in he way they want, and likewise have low expectations for children of parents who have struggled in life. 

This is problematic for children who do not act how their parents would want. For example if we place a group of boys, or otherwise energetic and spirited children in a confined space and expect them to sit quietly listening for an hour, it would be unreasonable of us to get cross when they found this difficult, although a group of girls or quieter children may be able to do this without difficulty because their nature is to be able to do so. This is not the fault of the boys or their parents teaching and training, it is the fault of the parents or educators having unreasonable expectations. 

 

 

I again speak from personal experience as a person who was a very biddable child who could sit listening for fairly long periods of time without difficulty, but I observe my sons and see that this is not something they would be able to achieve, not because their character is lacking, because they haven't been taught or disciplined in the right way by me, but simply because it is not in their nature, they are their own people, with their own strengths and weaknesses, it's like Einstein says: 

"But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." 

I haven't included the first part of this quote which is "Everybody is a genius" because, as previously discussed, I do not agree (sorry Albert!)

Likewise for the child of parents who have struggled in life, (who perhaps haven't had the right opportunity to flourish and find their strengths), their nature isn't necessarily going to replicate that of their parents (although I do acknowledge that nurture plays a part in how a child develops of course) given the right environment, habit training and approach these children can thrive and flourish and find their own strengths just as well as those whose parents have been successful, but if we dismiss children as failures before getting to know their nature and finding out how they can thrive we do them a great disservice. 

Each child has their own unique and individual personalities that they're born with and grow into with our help, none is a mini me, a blank sheet ready for us to impress our own personalities, and people who think this will be in for a shock when they discover that their children have their own minds, their own natures, their own strengths (and weaknesses) and personalities. 

The first example above is posed as a fault of the child; they did not work hard enough, or put their mind to it enough, the second example is posed as the fault of the parent for not training or disciplining their child correctly.  Neither is true, and once we start to see children as born persons we can begin to understand them and nurture their personalities and nature more appropriately, set more reasonable expectations, and allow our children to thrive and flourish in areas where their can. 

 

This is meant to be one of the beautiful things about home education, but it is so easy to get ourselves caught up in trying to squeeze our children into the shapes we want them to be rather than allowing, encouraging, nurturing them to grow into the shapes they were meant to be. I know I have been guilty of this and I am taking stock, remembering that each of my children has their own unique personalities, their own learning preferences, their own capacities and their own passions. 

I look forward to discovering who each of my children grow to become, watching them find their strengths, and seeing them thrive when I allow for their own unique qualities to shine forth. 

Joyful Homeschool

I am certain that some British friends would wince at my use of the term "home school".  In the UK the term for teaching your children at home is "Home education".  Some people can become quite pedantic about not using the term "home school" because they say it implies school at home, which is, quite rightly what we are trying to get away from.   However I have found the term "home school" to be very useful.  It certainly rolls off the tongue more easily that "home education", and I have found that it is more easily understood by questioning strangers.  Funnily enough my children have taken to using "home school" to describe what we do in spite of my correcting them in the past. I think they simply find it easier to say and they find they are better understood.  

I think you'll agree that "joyful home school" has much more of a ring to it that "joyful home education".  My argument, like our American friends (who typically use the term "home school" in favour of "home education") is that in actual fact home school is not school-at-home.  The word school has several definitions, one of which is the place which children go to to receive an education,  this could be home could it not?  Similarly the word "schooled" as in "home schooled" simply means to receive an education.  So using the term "home school" certainly does not mean the replication of the institute of "school" at home. 

All that to say,  today I am talking about my word of the year "joyful"  and how I am going to be attempting to apply it to our home school (home education!).  

Before I begin I would like to take a moment to reflect on my February focus which was "Joyful Parenting".  I read "Yell Less, Love More"  By Sheila McCraith, and am about half way through "Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys" by Noel Janis-Norton.  I really enjoyed McCraith's book she is very honest and wears her heart on her sleeve which really helps you to feel a connection to her; it makes her very relatable.  I also enjoyed all her tips for yelling at your children less. She gives lots of ideas for strategies to use to get a handle on your yelling.  It is a fairly gentle approach to parenting and does ask her readers to examine what behaviours can be triggering, and how to manage them,  I like this idea more than the idea of having to spend time in counselling to supposedly overcome your triggers, learning to manage them is much more realistic.  However I have found that what you mostly need is a heck of a lot of self control to stop yourself from yelling, and what I really need more of are strategies to stop my children from doing things that cause me to yell.  This is where "Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys" by Noel Janis-Norton has been really useful.  I absolutely love her no-nonsense way of talking about children's behaviour, no messing about with talking about "big feelings", she quite honestly describers some behaviours as annoying (thank you!)  and gives really practical and achievable ways to help your children become less annoying!  I am about half way through this book and am already putting some of her techniques into practice, for example using praise (shocking!), more specifically descriptive praise ("I noticed you put your plate in the kitchen") rather than hyperbolic praise ("Oooh fantastic plate carrying!"), and reflective listening.  I am finding the reflective listening really helpful with my 6 year old he responds really well to it, but I often forget about the techniques and fall back into old habits of yelling, begging and coercing.  I also realise I also need to get my husband on board so that we can be a united front for things to really change.  There is still much to work on, and I will be continuing to hold "joyful parenting"  in my mind as I move into my March focus of "Joyful Home school".  

When I saw that I had chosen "Home school" to be the focus on this month I wanted to skip it, or switch it with something easier.  How on earth can I make our home school joyful? It really doesn't feel joyful right now.  The main problem is that my boys do not want to do anything that I suggest.  All they want to do is play with their friends or have their eyes on a screen.  Screens have become extremely problematic in our house in spite of me restricting them.  And I do believe strongly in restricting screen time (you can read my blog post about it if you like).  I don't believe children's brains are developed enough to be able to self regulate their screen time when it is, by nature so incredibly stimulating and addictive.  What is more, I do in fact have to give them an education.  I am obligated to by law.  I know that this can look very different to a school education, and I understand that some people who take an "Unschooling" approach to their children's education would encourage me to let them do what they like, (which I hear can include unlimited screen access), but I am just not the right personality to be able to do that.  It would cause me far too much anxiety.  Also I love learning and what I longed for when we decided to home educate was to share my love of learning with them; I want to show them all the beautiful things, all the art, all the music, amazing world history, astonishing geography, mind-blowing science, I want to show them the world, and I want them to share in my excitement about it all and I want to share in theirs.  So how can I do this without the tears, tantrums and repeated chants of "no," or "I'm not doing it," or "it's boring", or "I hate...(insert whatever it is I'm suggesting here...")?  The answer right now is that I don't know!  To be honest I really don't understand it because, as much as I hated school, I loved learning, I loved finding things out, drawing diagrams, writing descriptions, stories, being creative... Is it because I am Female and I'm just wired differently? I don't know, but something needs to change.

I have seen some people suggest that I could grab one of their interests and run with it.  For example, my boys are quite into Minecraft, and I have seen products online such as Minecraft Maths books for example.  Unfortunately my boys know from a mile away when I am trying to make something "educational", they're not that easily tricked!  

Likewise,  some have suggested that by letting them really get into the thing they are interested in, I might be facilitating for them to be then next amazing xbox game designer or coding expert.  However I would argue that in order to be a producer of something that requires creativity, a game designer for example, one needs to have a bank of experiences, images, sensations, art, understanding about the world etc in their hearts and minds to draw from in order to create something new and exciting.  I don't believe anyone ever created anything extraordinary from simply playing the old games day in day out.

What is more I quite simply don't want them glued to a screen every day.  I do not believe it is healthy, I do not believe it is nourishing or enriching and I do not believe it will help them to turn into good men who give something positive to the world.  I want to spend time with them, get to know them, share experiences with them and have opportunities for expanding their hearts and minds with new ideas and knowledge.  And I want them to experience all the good and beautiful things first hand. 

Talking to the boys, what they do seem to enjoy is field trips, though there is still a degree of resistance in leaving the house.  Unfortunately field trips can be expensive, they're tiring, and some things just can't be learnt through field trips alone.  They enjoy doing experiments, but again not everything can be learnt or experienced through an experiment.  

I want them to be free to enjoy their childhoods without the pressure that comes with a school education, but I also need to teach them maths, and how to write and spell and at the moment, this part is like pulling teeth! Help! I really have no clue what the answer is at the moment, so of course I am doing what any sensible person does in an unknown situation, I am going to buy books!  (My husband will be thrilled!) As March unfolds I will see how I can inject more joy into our home learning, and I'll report back here so you can find out how it went! 

I really believe home education can be a joyful experience for both me and my children, at least 90% of the time, that's the goal.  Joyful home school here we come!

You've decided to home ed, now what?

Post contains affiliate links

In my last post I posed two thoughts for you to consider if you have been thinking about home educating.  Now you have decided to take the leap, what next?
In this post I will discuss some steps you need to take next and some steps that you might like to take as you begin your home education journey.

If you child is currently enrolled in a school you must inform the school that you intend to remove them from the school to home educate them.  A simple letter stating your intention should be enough to satisfy the school and they are legally obligated to remove your child from the school roll and inform the local authority that your child is no longer enrolled in the school. 

And now you are free, and the adventure begins.  No curriculum, no timetables, no school bells, no tests, no deadlines.  The world is your oyster.  The only stipulation is that the education you provide be efficient (meets it's goals) is full time (the government does not specify how many hours are "full-time") and is suitable for your child's age, ability and aptitude (you are the best person to know this).  

This can be both exciting and daunting, where do you begin now?

With this newfound freedom and excitement comes the discovery of a whole new world of learning possibilities:  Home ed Forest School, music classes, science clubs, sports sessions, home ed rock climbing and gymnastics, home ed maths and literacy, group classes, playground meets, online classes, big box curriculums, and any other kind of activity you can think of set up just for home educated children.  These are just some of the many options out there that will help your child ,make progress, meet other people and fill up your diary. 

Of course all these things are good and important, but if there is one thing I have learnt over my years of home educating, it is to SLOW DOWN!  You'll probably want to sign up for every group possible, but the groups will still be there is a month, 3 months, 6 months time, put away your FOMO (Fear of missing out) and embrace your JOMO (joy of missing out).  Groups and classes give us a sense of security because it feels like we must be succeeding if we are busy, and we feel reassured as we pass on some of the responsibility for our children's learning onto someone else.  But remember you know your child better than anyone. You don't need to know everything in order to be your children's teacher, you can learn together based on your child's interests and pretty much all the learning resources you could possibly want or need are available to you online often for free.  Remember you were your child's first teacher and your ability to facilitate their learning didn't stop when they turned 5.

So take some time to really get to know your child again, spend time in nature, read some really good books together, find out what their passions are outside of the social pressures of school, find out what "subjects" they love and which they despise, find out what motivates them and what leaves them disinterested, discover if they are kinaesthetic, auditory or visual learners, find out what their love languages are, go for long walks and talk, watch movies together, get up in the middle of the night just to look at the stars, dance in the rain... Enjoy all the little things in life that you were perhaps too busy to appreciate when you had places to be. 

Don't rush, just enjoy.

As your home education journey begins to grow, you might like to think about recording some of the activities you get up to, this could be photographically or written notes or diaries, scrapbooks or journals. This will be useful for you to look back on and see your child's progress and as a way of gathering memories. There is no legal requirement for you to do this, but if there is ever any doubt as to your provision it is something you can whip out for the local authority to demonstrate that the home education you are providing is full time, efficient and is suitable to your child's age ability and aptitude.

Finally to quote Meryl Street in Death Becomes Her "now a warning!" But don't be worried, it's nothing to be afraid of:  You might receive a letter from your local authority asking for a home visit to check on your provision.  There is no obligation for you to accept this visit, no obligation for you to meet in your home, for them to meet your children or for them to see your child's work. You could meet elsewhere, such as in a library or playground or politely decline a visit altogether citing your knowledge and understanding of your home education responsibilities as a reason for not requiring a visit and that you'll let them know if you need any help.  It can be useful to provide an educational philosophy explaining some of the activities you take part in and some of your general plans, but it would be wise not to be too specific with these as if you end up not following through with your plans this could be considered a failure to provide an "efficient" education. Keeping communication in writing (i.e. email) means you will have all your communications with the LA on record. 

Home education can be a really beautiful and unique journey, remember you know your child better than anyone, you don't need to know everything before your child does, you learn together.  I'd love to hear how you are getting on or if there is anything else you would like to know and I will do my best to help, I wish you all the best on your journey. 

Here are a few links to websites providing free resources that you might find helpful:

https://www.amblesideonline.org/

https://www.khanacademy.org/

https://allinonehomeschool.com/

http://oldfashionededucation.com/

https://www.coreknowledge.org/

https://www.freedomhomeschooling.com/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/teach

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize

https://www.teachyourmonstertoread.com/

https://freddiesmummyuk.com/homeschooling/

And some books that may be of interest:

Learning About the Weather

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Autumn is a wonderful time of year for learning about the weather isn't it?  There is just so much of it!  We have had strong winds, rain, sunshine and drizzle this past week so it's been an ideal time to talk with my children about different types of weather.  Of course living in England makes weather discussion a frequent occurrence, so it is a natural progression for an English-born mama to make the weather a part of our every day lives.

I have helped my children learn about the weather is all sorts of ways over the years.  I began when they were babies by making sure to take them out for walks whatever the weather.  I used a pram with my first baby and I felt like being in the little cosy cocoon under a plastic cover must be a wonderful sensory experience on a rainy day, seeing the water dribbling down and hearing the pitter-patter sound of the drops hitting the cover.  As they got older jumping in puddles was essential to every wet weather walk and a toddler clad in wellies and a puddle suits can be amused for ages by splashy puddles of all shapes and sizes. A windy day would lend itself perfectly to kite flying and many hours have been spent dragging a nylon kite on  along strong round a field in attempts to keep it in the sky.  And of course we all know the wonders of a snowy winters day, with snowman building, snow angles and tobogganing.

I love to use seasonal nature walks as part of our home education and these two books have been invaluable in linking in the seasons with my planning:

This week at a lovely little science club we go to, run by a friend, we made a wind turbine and an anemometer out of plastic cups and we will be recording the weather as the week goes on. I also love to link our activities in with Bible stories there are many which lend themselves to a weather theme for example Noah's Ark in Genesis 5:32-1-:1 and Jesus calming the storm in Luke 8:23-25.

Here I have put together a selection of links to fantastic weather related activities for children of all ages and stages to take part in so you can make weather study part of your home education journey.  I have not done all the activities listed below but I have done some, hopefully they will spark your imagination as much as they have mine. 

I hope you are all able to enjoy the wild and wonderful British weather and incorporate it into your home education, and as I listen to the sound of our roof aerial banging unnervingly against it's bracket in the wind, I'll leave you with this poem by one of my favorite authors and poets, Shirley Hughes:

It's from this book by Shirley Hughes about the seasons which I absolutely love:

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The Baptism of Jesus Sunday School Lesson

This is a lesson I created for a Sunday Schoool lesson but it could work equally well in a home ed environment. (This post containes affiliate links)

The Baptism of Jesus is a really great story to tell to children as there are so many intersting physical elements to talk about; there's John the Baptist's hairy clothes, all scritchy and scratchy, and big bushy beard all wild and fluffy, there's his diet of eating locusts and honey all crunchy and sticky (yuck!), there's the water splishing and splashing and there is the dove flapping and flying.

In this Sunday School lesson I decided to focus on the dove for the meaning of the story.  I kind of worked backwards on the lesson plan; I started searching for ideas for how I could deliver the lesson by searching through fine art images of The Baptism of Jesus, there are so many beautiful interpretations I highly recommend taking a look.  This led on to me looking at stained glass windows that featured an image of the story, I looked at both traditional and contemporary designs.  I thought it would be really nice for the children to create their own stained glass window but to simplify the idea for the 3-5 age range I was teaching, I thought the could use the image of the dove.

This led me to consider where else in the Bible a dove features and what the meaning of this is.  I thought of Noah's ark and the dove delivering a twig of olive leaf showing that the people had been saved from the storm, also sacrificial doves that were used to save people from their sins, and then of course the dove of the Baptism story which showed that Jesus was sent to save us from our sins as a living sacrifice.

I thought about how I could introduce the story's focus on the dove by asking the children what birds meant differed things, I thought we could discuss ideas like owls making them think of the dark and night time, robins for Christmas, and parrots making them think of pirates!

I planned to read the story of the Baptism of Jesus, I used this version below, but you can use any version so long as it mentiones the dove:

 I then planned a short prayer to read at the end.

The class would have gone really well if I hadn't forgotten to take the sticky-back-plastic that I needed for the stained glass windows!!  This epic disaster was thankfully averted by a roll of extra wide sellotape which I found on the side somewhere (thank you God!)  I really like using the stick-back-plastic in this way as it eliminates the use of glue altogether making it a nice clean activity.
If you have more time or older children you could get them to cut all the parts of the craft out themselves.

If you would like a copy of this lesson plan you can download it bellow,  I have also included the power point presentation of artworks that you can use.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uUmIRpeULskmkqmUGW8wy0QKQPRUFkyZ/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fSfxuns3BgQjuVqeKQ604L-ep31DvN7v/view?usp=sharing

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Home Ed update

Since September we have been officially (unofficially) home educating out eldest son. Officially because he would have started school in September had that been our choice, unofficially because technically he doesn't have to start school until the term following his 5th birthday.

All my friends and family have been incredibly supportive of our choice to home educate (thank you all of you), most people say that they think it's great but not something they themselves could take on.  I think I have explained to most of my friends and family who are interested how home education works but when I meet new people and they find out that we are home educating they naturally ask questions, and in so doing reveal the many myths that surround home ed, which I duly demolish.
Here is a rundown of the top myths/questions and comments I hear and my response:

So you are getting visits from the local authority?
No, actually there is no legal obligation for home educators to receive visits from the local authority.  Some people find it helpful but it's not a requirement. Often the local authority want to visit to check that you are providing an education suitable to your children's age, ability and aptitude, but in my opinion I don't need to be checked on this by the Local Authority any more than I need the police to come round to check that I am not committing a crime. If you decide to have visits from the Local Authority (LA) then it's useful to remember you don't have to meet in your home, you could meet in a library for example. If the LA ask to visit us by letter I will respond to them (by letter) by outlining some of our home ed intentions and decline the offer of a visit. I recently read a really great home ed philosophy written by Ross Mountney in her book "A Funny Kind of Education":

"We plan for the education to be centered around their needs, for the most part autonomous, deriving from their own interests and daily pursuits, at times democratic, where their learning is shared, helped, broadened and encouraged by our parental input.  Our aim is for happy, self motivated  children who take pleasure in learning.  We hope to provide a stimulating environment in which they may do this, both in the home with materials, books, television, computers and in the community and further afield with trips to libraries, visits to places of interest, field trips and activities which encourage interest and curiosity about their daily lives and environment, all of which are sources of learning and educational opportunity.
We see learning as an integral part of our children's daily lives and not separate from it or segregated into subjects.  Therefore it is not timetabled or structured; this would be unnecessarily inhibiting.  It may take place from the minute their wake up to the  minute they sleep, over meal times, social times, unusual times, any time, by discussions and questioning, conversations, investigations and research, not necessarily normal in procedure.  We see it therefore as mostly spontaneous and unplanned.  Thus we can take advantage of the purest receptive moments when learning potential is at its peak.
We are quite confident that contact with family, friends, social event, clubs and activities of this nature provide our children with plenty of social interaction."

I would probably use a statement similar to this to describe our home ed intentions.

But you have to tell them you're home educating don't you?
Actually no.  So long as I am fulfilling my responsibilities to provide an education suitable to their age, ability and aptitude I need do nothing more.  As above, the Local Authority would like to have a list of all the children being home educated because they have concerns that any children not in state or private education are being hidden away for some nasty reason.  Again, as above I don't need the LA checking up on me any more than I need the police checking up on me (I can't see the population as a whole agreeing to be checked on by the police to make sure they aren't committing a crime can you?)  We aren't hiding away or doing anything nasty, so unless the LA has reason to believe we are doing something amiss they have no reason to put us on a list or pay us a visit.  The onus is on them to prove we AREN'T providing an education, not on us that we are. Therefore they have to have a good reason to believe we aren't providing an education in order to make a visit to check that we are.

Oh but you used to be a teacher so that's ok, I wouldn't know enough to teach my children.
Well yes this is true, but to be honest being a Secondary School Art and Design teacher doesn't help me all that much in teaching literacy and numeracy.  Also lets not forget that the teachers in school learnt what they needed to teach the children, so we too as parents are quite capable to learning what the children need to learn, In fact learning alongside my children has been really exciting.  And here's another thing, we all managed just fine to teach our children everything they needed to know before they reached school age so I see no reason to believe we can't teach them the school stuff too.  Teachers aren't taught all about Anne Frank or Florence Nightingale or how volcanoes work or metamorphosis, they learn it as they have to teach it. As home educators we are facilitators of learning not jugs of knowledge than need to be decanted in to the little brains of our children. We help them to learn by providing the resources, environment, information etc that they need.
I also want to mention at this point that I know not everyone wants to home educated their children.  Just because I am doesn't mean I think you should.  I am not anti school, I think there is most definitely a place for it in our society, it's just not a good fit for our family at the moment.

Do you have to follow a curriculum?
No you don't.  You don't have to follow any curriculum or you can follow one if you want to, the National Curriculum or any of the other free curriculum online, or the many you can pay for.  We are choosing to loosely follow the National Curriculum because, if for any reason we feel it would be right for our family for any of our children to go into school I would like them to have equivalent understanding to the other children in their year group.

But don't the Local Authority send you the Curriculum and everything you need to teach at home?
No they don't.  As far as I know they don't send you anything (possibly a link to the National Curriculum online at the most)  Which is another reason why I feel no need to have the Local Authority involvement in our Home Education.  It should be a two way relationship and as far as I can see it is more about proving to the LA that we are doing enough than them providing support and help.  I don't need their assessment, as it is of no value to me and my children.

But what about socialisation?
This is the question I am asked most often.  We socialise nearly everyday (probably a bit too much actually) We go to groups, meet with friends at their houses and have them at ours, we see our families and we socialise with members of the public at playgrounds, shops, church, National Trust Houses etc etc etc.
The funny thing about this question is that, as a pupil I was always led to believe that at school I was "here to learn not socialise".  Ironic really.

So you've had to sign a register then?
As above, no there is no requirement to be on a register.  If your child has already been in school and is then withdrawn then they will be known to the Local Authority, if they have never been in school or Preschool then they won't be known to the local authority and won't be on a register.  A register of home educated children in the thin en of the wedge in my opinion.  You start with a register, then they insist on visits, then there are boxes which need to be ticked and with boxes come requirements, and there begins a process of enforced curriculums, visits, examinations etc etc.  No no we don't have to sign a register and I would not be in support of any kind of Home Education register.  I am aware that people feel that there should be one for child protection issues and I would like to remind those people that all the children who have been involved in high profile child protection issues in the media were already known to the local authority. We are no more a threat to children by home educating them than anyone else in school.  I also resent the implication that by choosing to home educate we must be doing something nasty that our children need protection from.  I heard on the radio the other day that the equivalent of one girl PER DAY is raped IN SCHOOL!!  So please, spare me the child protection concerns and concentrate on those children who are being abused on a daily basis actually in school!

What will you do when they have to take exams?
Well we don't HAVE to take exams.  There are many careers which do not require exams for you to be successful in them.

But what if they want to go to University?
Not all Universities require you to have previous qualifications particularly if you go to University after the age of 25.  However we are still able to take exams as and when we choose (i.e. we could do two or three GCSEs a year for 4 years rather than 10 in one year as in school)  we just need to find a Centre which will take us on as an external candidate (which I am led to believe is not difficult)  The only downside is that we would have to pay for the exams, although some Local Authorities will help Home Educators with these fees.

I don't know how you get your children to listen to you, they only listen to their teacher and wouldn't sit still for me.
My children don't know any different than me being their facilitator of their learning.  They don't see it as a teacher being someone who teaches them stuff and I am this other person that gives them food and takes them places.  Some children who have previously been in school can find it difficult to adjust to the change in relationship with their parents, there is a different dynamic between them, but it is my view that this can easily be altered by a period of de-schooling and with the provision of lots of interesting learning opportunities.

Aren't you worried they'll turn our weird?
No I am not.  My hope is that they will turn out with their love of learning in tact (children are wired to learn from birth), celebrating their individuality not hiding it, (Boris loves pink, My Little Pony and doesn't see any difference between boys and girls, I wonder how long that would last in school?), their energy and enthusiasm enhanced, a good ability to socialise with people of all ages, an understanding that creativity is more important than knowledge.  I hope that my children will question and challenge the status quo, stand out, not blend in, know that they can make a difference in the world, have the potential to lead the revolution, and above all know that experiencing and showing love and kindness are the most important lessons we can learn in life.

(A painting I did recently for a friend)

Why and How we decided against Pre-School

Original painting available in my shop 15 x 18" mixed media on canvas

About a week ago the final day passed where I could have booked Boris into a place in a pre-school.  It would only have been for one term, but it was our last chance.

We have ummd and ahhhd about it for over a year and really in the end it wasn't so much making a decision that got us to where we are now, but lack of being able to make a decision. However, on reflection I know that deep down I knew what I really wanted to do, but was afraid and lacked validation.  It's really hard to make a decision which is the opposite of almost everyone you know, especially when they are singing the praises of the choice they made.  This is bound to happen because obviously people want to feel good about their choices, but it makes it hard to get a balanced view in order to make an informed decision.

So I have decided to sum up my feelings about the decision not to send him in a little  actually-quite-long post that might help others decide but mainly just helps me to confirm my thoughts about it and to clarify the reasons in my own mind.

1. Being a parent is hard, I often complain tell people how hard I am finding things, that's healthy right?  Often people's response has been to put Boris into pre-school, they see I am struggling and they think that's the perfect answer, the load would be lightened, I would get a bit more time to myself (sort of although still looking after Biscuit), it would make things easier when the new baby arrives, but I realised that I don't need Boris to be away from me for 15 hours a week, or even 5 hours a week, I just need an hour or so here and there and actually I need an hour or so here and there away from both of them, not just Boris, time to myself, time of peace and quiet, time to sort the house and time to attend to my creativity.  Time away from just one of them doesn't help me all that much because I still have to look after the other and in many ways they are easier together because they have company and someone to play with.

2. There isn't anything a pre-school can offer Boris that I can't offer him myself at home and through the home ed groups we already attend. In terms of education we look at numbers and letters, I am familiar with what's included in the Foundation Stage Profile and Boris and I are talking ALL THE TIME, he asks a ton of questions and I answer them, or we look up the answer.  We socialise with other children and adults of all different ages.  We could socialise every day if we wanted to, but usually its three or four times a week, sometimes in groups, sometimes with individuals.

3. Part of the role of pre-school is to prepare children for school.  We don't need to prepare him for school because we are planning on home educating, so there is no need for him to be ready to do many of the things that school education requires such as some aspects of self care, conflict resolution, being able to sit still for long periods of time, being able to function well in large groups of children of the same age, that sort of thing.  Not that these things are bad, but they are just not things he needs to be able to do right now and they are things I believe he will be able to do given time and space in the future.

4. I wasn't able to find a pre school with a place available that didn't use rewards and punishments to manipulate behavior and what I mean by this is, all but one of the pre-schools I looked at use "time outs" (naughty chair) or a version there of as punishment for undesirable behavior.  This is totally against our parenting philosophy so I see no reason to introduce it in a pre-school setting.  It is the way most schools operate so it makes sense for children who will be attending school to be able to function well within a system that works like this, but seeing as Boris won't be attending school, there is no need.

5. I worry about Boris feeling under pressure to fulfill the Foundation Stage Profile markers.  They are mainly about school readiness,  and I would be so sad for him to be switched off to reading, writing or maths in later life because he felt under any pressure to perform at it at age 4 because of the pressure that childcare providers are under for the children who attend their centers to fulfill the criteria.

6.  I realised that it was what I wanted subconsciously.  Whenever I looked at posts on Facebook about pre-school, I realised I was scanning through the responses looking for people who had not sent their child to pre-school or had taken them out.  I wanted to validate my choice by hearing other parent's stories.  I desperately wanted to hear about other people making the same choice that I wanted to make.  You may wonder why I felt I needed validation from others on such a decision when I find it so easy to go against the norm in so many other areas of my life, but I think it's because this is the one thing (not just pre-school but home-ed generally) which will really make us different as a family.  Most of the choices we have made so far have been health related, either physical health or mental health, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, gentle parenting etc, but home educating will really make our lifestyles different to other people's.  It's much easier to get validation on home education but less so on pre-school because a surprisingly large amount of people who home educate do send their children to pre-school.

7. We asked Boris what he wanted.  Now this was a tricky one because the poor boy didn't know what on earth we were talking about.  As far as he knew pre-school was a playground (we often walk past pre-schools on our way to places so he sees the outside play area),  which he naturally thought was great. But we talked to him about how he would be away from mummy and Biscuit and that he would have to go there on the set days and all the other things about pre-school which don't involve him getting to play outside in the playground and he decided that he would rather stay with mummy. It's a really difficult thing to do, talking about the negative side of child care, most parents are telling their children how great it will be and how much they will love it, and I was doing the total opposite.

In coming to this decision it has really helped me to talk to people who have taken their children out of childcare settings and understanding the reasons why.  I think a lot of people find it difficult to talk about because they don't want to cause offence to other parents who still send their children to pre-school who might feel like they are being criticized for their choice. It is, of course no criticism of their choice.  Every family is different and has to do what is right for them. But it can be very difficult to know what is right for your family when there is so much pressure from others to make one particular choice.  Family, who are influenced by the media and government pressure for mothers to go back to work and the benefits of pre-school, think they are being helpful in suggesting pre-school as it would give you a break and help your child to "socialise" or whatever. Friends who send their child to pre-school will naturally want to validate their choice by telling you how great it is, and if they have any mixed feelings about their choice it will make them feel better about it if you do the same; and the Government are putting huge pressure on families to send their children to pre-school so that parents can get back into work (and give them more of their hard earned wages through taxes).  So to find people who are making the same choice you think you want to can be extremely helpful in giving you a balanced view in order to make an informed choice.

So there we have it, no pressure to get up in the morning to get Boris to pre-school on time, no "settling in time", no wondering if Boris' needs are being met or if he has been left on the naughty spot.  We are going to be together as a family, starting as we mean to go on.

The Selfish Crocodile

A few days ago we read the story of the Selfish Crocodile.  If you are not familiar with this epic, it's about a rather mean crocodile who only discovers his softer side once an unlikely mouse helps him by removing a sore tooth.  My boys enjoy the pictures and the story which has similarities with the tale of the Good Samaritan. 

After reading the story, and because the boys were so into it, I decided to extend their learning with a little play dough activity.  

First we coloured the play dough together with yellow and blue food colouring, discussing colour mixing and kneading the dough.

Then with some help from me the boys moulded their play dough into simple crocodile head shapes and we added eyes and teeth from some of the wooden pieces in our Spielgaben set. 

We had fun putting the teeth in then extracting the bad one.  We talked about how crocodiles re-grow their teeth throughout their lives. 

Biscuit and I made the crocodile teeth from the wooden triangular shaped tablet pieces and Boris made his from the smallest white and black plastic sticks. 

Boris even had a go at re-enacting the moment from the story by getting his toy mouse to pull the tooth lol!

I love using stories to spark imaginative play and development of learning.  I am sure we will develop more project based activities using books as a starting point in the future.