Word of the year 2024

 Hi friends,

A belated Happy New Year to you all.  

I love the new start that the new year brings.  I know some people feel that winter is the worst time to begin a new habit, or break an old one, but for me it is the perfect time.  We are passed the shortest day, the evenings are beginning to get lighter, I have seen blossom in a hedgerow and a lamb in a field, it feels like spring is just around the corner, even on the bitterest of frosty days. Hope is in the air.

For many years now I have chosen a "word of the year" to inspire and motivate me, to give me a focus and to help me be more intentional in my goals, choices and with my time.  You may recall last years word was "Joyful"; and if you have been following my blog you might have read my monthly posts where I shared a monthly focus.  These monthly focuses really helped me make progress throughout the year and keep my "word of the year" in the forefront of my mind.  This year I have a new word and a new approach and I hope that me sharing about it here with you might encourage you to choose a "word of the year" for yourself, it's not too late!  It also might encourage you to head over to my Patreon where I recently shared a guide to choosing a "word of the year" for yourself as well as some artwork that you can print and display your "word of the year" on.  

So I am sure you're wondering what my word of the year is this year.  I had been thinking for a while before new years about this word and how it was something I really needed in my life.  It comes off the back of a joyful, but extremely busy and at times stressful year, as well as a year of being sucked more and more into social media based distractions.  I was especially inspired by a post I saw on Instagram by Ancestrally Rooted Mother encouraging us to rest.  

My instant reaction was to think "well how can I possibly do that when I am so busy all the time?"  and Emily very generously responded with this answer: 

Oh, this is a great question! And for me, the answer has been pretty multifaceted and somewhat hard to swallow. First, "the answer" will depend on what is going on in your life. I've had to get honest with myself about what I'm doing to be so busy and why I'm doing it. Sometimes we have things we are doing because we need to and sometimes those things make us busier than we want. But, I've gotten pretty ruthless about the extras. I have a garden and chickens -that's it. Also, I've been leaning more into the community I have available to me - the paid and unpaid. I'm making sacrifices in the things I want to do to make room for building community. We try to do too much alone. And I try to make the activities more restful. Rest doesn't have to equal idle. For me, that has meant getting off my smartphone. I only listen to podcasts occasionally vs all the time. As hard as it is, doing dishes and just doing dishes feels more restful than doing dishes while trying to shove more information in my brain. Lastly, sometimes all I can do is rest in knowledge of what should be. Some years I've had to work more and I've had to just be ok with that. I find the knowledge that I should be resting more restful. And helps me be gentler with myself when I can't keep up or just power through. 

Because of this response I chose REST as my "word of the year".  The mindset communicated by Emily in her reply helped me to form an attitude towards how REST can inform my year and has helped me think about how I can make it work in practical terms. 

I also have to give a shout out to my sister, who, when I told her I was going to be doing a "word of the year" workshop with my good friend Vicki to help me choose my word told me in no uncertain terms that it should be REST! 

For a home educating mother of four children who continues to pile more and more upon her plate you might be thinking that REST was a foolish word to choose for 2024, I am quite obviously a busy person, so what REST looks like for me might not be what REST looks like for other people.  

It might not, for example mean lots of sitting down.  It might not mean spending a lot of time alone or on self-care, and it certainly won't mean lots of long hot bubble baths!

Here is what REST has meant for me so far in 2024:

• Allowing my mind to rest when I breastfeed the baby by reading the Bible or a book  rather than scrolling social media,

• Being present and allowing my mind to rest and wander when cooking or going to the toilet rather than filling my mind with noise from podcasts and YouTube videos,

• Beginning my day in a restful way by preparing for the day and enjoying a book during breakfast rather than scrolling on social media the minute I wake up,

• Ending my day in a restful way at a decent hour and with a book rather than social media,

• Recognising that it is ok to just sit down and rest, I do not have to justify resting my body by trying to do something else whilst I sit down, or feeling like I only deserve a rest once I have completed a million and one tasks,

• Allowing my body to rest by stopping eating at 8pm so my body can have time to heal and repair by resting from digestion at night,

• Creating a restful, less stressful life by planning and organising my time and creating a meal plan so I am not having to live reactively all the time, which is stressful,

• Recognising that I don't have to do all-the-things and a rich and joyful life doesn't necessarily come from filling our time with activities,
• And most importantly, resting in the Lord by passing my burdens onto Him through prayer and remembering that I don't need to worry or stress about my life because he has it in hand. 

Resting in the Lord it the most important aspect of REST this year and I am remembering these Bible verses to encourage me on my journey of restfulness this year: 

Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.  (Psalm 62:1-2)

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.(Matthew 11:28-30)

I'm also informing my year by remembering that God thought rest was important by giving us a whole day on which to rest: "By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.  Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done." (Genesis 2:2-3) And in Exodus 20:8-10 the Bible tells us: "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it Holy, Six days you shall labour and do all your work.  But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work." Also that His son Jesus sought rest.  If Jesus needed rest them how much more surely must we?

I really hope that by the end of this year I can look back and feel less stressed and worn out, that by practicing leaning into the Lord and searching out Him for spiritual rest, I will find myself refreshed, renewed and energised and that I have an attitude of restfulness rather than busyness. 

Friends, please tell me what your word of the year is for 2024, I'd love to hear. 

Joyful Homeschool

I am certain that some British friends would wince at my use of the term "home school".  In the UK the term for teaching your children at home is "Home education".  Some people can become quite pedantic about not using the term "home school" because they say it implies school at home, which is, quite rightly what we are trying to get away from.   However I have found the term "home school" to be very useful.  It certainly rolls off the tongue more easily that "home education", and I have found that it is more easily understood by questioning strangers.  Funnily enough my children have taken to using "home school" to describe what we do in spite of my correcting them in the past. I think they simply find it easier to say and they find they are better understood.  

I think you'll agree that "joyful home school" has much more of a ring to it that "joyful home education".  My argument, like our American friends (who typically use the term "home school" in favour of "home education") is that in actual fact home school is not school-at-home.  The word school has several definitions, one of which is the place which children go to to receive an education,  this could be home could it not?  Similarly the word "schooled" as in "home schooled" simply means to receive an education.  So using the term "home school" certainly does not mean the replication of the institute of "school" at home. 

All that to say,  today I am talking about my word of the year "joyful"  and how I am going to be attempting to apply it to our home school (home education!).  

Before I begin I would like to take a moment to reflect on my February focus which was "Joyful Parenting".  I read "Yell Less, Love More"  By Sheila McCraith, and am about half way through "Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys" by Noel Janis-Norton.  I really enjoyed McCraith's book she is very honest and wears her heart on her sleeve which really helps you to feel a connection to her; it makes her very relatable.  I also enjoyed all her tips for yelling at your children less. She gives lots of ideas for strategies to use to get a handle on your yelling.  It is a fairly gentle approach to parenting and does ask her readers to examine what behaviours can be triggering, and how to manage them,  I like this idea more than the idea of having to spend time in counselling to supposedly overcome your triggers, learning to manage them is much more realistic.  However I have found that what you mostly need is a heck of a lot of self control to stop yourself from yelling, and what I really need more of are strategies to stop my children from doing things that cause me to yell.  This is where "Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys" by Noel Janis-Norton has been really useful.  I absolutely love her no-nonsense way of talking about children's behaviour, no messing about with talking about "big feelings", she quite honestly describers some behaviours as annoying (thank you!)  and gives really practical and achievable ways to help your children become less annoying!  I am about half way through this book and am already putting some of her techniques into practice, for example using praise (shocking!), more specifically descriptive praise ("I noticed you put your plate in the kitchen") rather than hyperbolic praise ("Oooh fantastic plate carrying!"), and reflective listening.  I am finding the reflective listening really helpful with my 6 year old he responds really well to it, but I often forget about the techniques and fall back into old habits of yelling, begging and coercing.  I also realise I also need to get my husband on board so that we can be a united front for things to really change.  There is still much to work on, and I will be continuing to hold "joyful parenting"  in my mind as I move into my March focus of "Joyful Home school".  

When I saw that I had chosen "Home school" to be the focus on this month I wanted to skip it, or switch it with something easier.  How on earth can I make our home school joyful? It really doesn't feel joyful right now.  The main problem is that my boys do not want to do anything that I suggest.  All they want to do is play with their friends or have their eyes on a screen.  Screens have become extremely problematic in our house in spite of me restricting them.  And I do believe strongly in restricting screen time (you can read my blog post about it if you like).  I don't believe children's brains are developed enough to be able to self regulate their screen time when it is, by nature so incredibly stimulating and addictive.  What is more, I do in fact have to give them an education.  I am obligated to by law.  I know that this can look very different to a school education, and I understand that some people who take an "Unschooling" approach to their children's education would encourage me to let them do what they like, (which I hear can include unlimited screen access), but I am just not the right personality to be able to do that.  It would cause me far too much anxiety.  Also I love learning and what I longed for when we decided to home educate was to share my love of learning with them; I want to show them all the beautiful things, all the art, all the music, amazing world history, astonishing geography, mind-blowing science, I want to show them the world, and I want them to share in my excitement about it all and I want to share in theirs.  So how can I do this without the tears, tantrums and repeated chants of "no," or "I'm not doing it," or "it's boring", or "I hate...(insert whatever it is I'm suggesting here...")?  The answer right now is that I don't know!  To be honest I really don't understand it because, as much as I hated school, I loved learning, I loved finding things out, drawing diagrams, writing descriptions, stories, being creative... Is it because I am Female and I'm just wired differently? I don't know, but something needs to change.

I have seen some people suggest that I could grab one of their interests and run with it.  For example, my boys are quite into Minecraft, and I have seen products online such as Minecraft Maths books for example.  Unfortunately my boys know from a mile away when I am trying to make something "educational", they're not that easily tricked!  

Likewise,  some have suggested that by letting them really get into the thing they are interested in, I might be facilitating for them to be then next amazing xbox game designer or coding expert.  However I would argue that in order to be a producer of something that requires creativity, a game designer for example, one needs to have a bank of experiences, images, sensations, art, understanding about the world etc in their hearts and minds to draw from in order to create something new and exciting.  I don't believe anyone ever created anything extraordinary from simply playing the old games day in day out.

What is more I quite simply don't want them glued to a screen every day.  I do not believe it is healthy, I do not believe it is nourishing or enriching and I do not believe it will help them to turn into good men who give something positive to the world.  I want to spend time with them, get to know them, share experiences with them and have opportunities for expanding their hearts and minds with new ideas and knowledge.  And I want them to experience all the good and beautiful things first hand. 

Talking to the boys, what they do seem to enjoy is field trips, though there is still a degree of resistance in leaving the house.  Unfortunately field trips can be expensive, they're tiring, and some things just can't be learnt through field trips alone.  They enjoy doing experiments, but again not everything can be learnt or experienced through an experiment.  

I want them to be free to enjoy their childhoods without the pressure that comes with a school education, but I also need to teach them maths, and how to write and spell and at the moment, this part is like pulling teeth! Help! I really have no clue what the answer is at the moment, so of course I am doing what any sensible person does in an unknown situation, I am going to buy books!  (My husband will be thrilled!) As March unfolds I will see how I can inject more joy into our home learning, and I'll report back here so you can find out how it went! 

I really believe home education can be a joyful experience for both me and my children, at least 90% of the time, that's the goal.  Joyful home school here we come!