Showing posts with label charlotte mason. Show all posts
Showing posts with label charlotte mason. Show all posts

Monday, 26 August 2024

Whole persons

 I have been familiar with, and a proponent of the Charlotte Mason method of home education for many years but it has only been recently that I have fully understood her "born persons" theory.

Charlotte Mason believed that children were born as whole persons, already imbued with a body, soul, spirit, mind, will and emotions. She believed that the purpose of education was to draw out the best of what was already there, to help children to reach the potential that was already present within them.  




She says:

"If we have not proved that a child is a born person with a mind as complete and as beautiful as his beautiful body, we can at least show that is, that his mind is the instrument of his education and that his education does not produce his mind." (my emphasis.)

Charlotte believed that a child was already a whole person and by feeding and nourishing him or her as a whole person they would develop naturally and reveal that whole person. 

When Charlotte Mason wrote this, children were educated in quite a different way.  Educational philosophy dictated that each part of a child was separate and must be developed and focused on by a teacher in a particular order in order for a child to become a complete person.  


It was thought in Charlotte Mason's time that some children were not capable of elevated thinking and their minds were only fit for manual labor, it was not considered worth educating them on the arts or history etc, but Charlotte believed that all children could find value and beauty in Art, Poetry and Literature to one degree or another if only they were exposed to the wonder of it and given the opportunity in the right environment and with the right approach. 

This might sound very sensible to our modern ears, though it was quite revolutionary in the late 1800s to early 1900s.  However we still have far to go in order to really understand children as Charlotte Mason did, and to put her philosophy into practice. 

I saw a clip from the news recently showing a young man receiving his GCSE results, he had done very well, achieving top grades.  I looked to the comments section below and read a comment implying that if only all children worked as hard as this child, then everyone could achieve as he had. 

   

I feel like I am a testament to the inaccuracy of this statement, having worked so hard and with excellent teaching I still only achieved a grade C in maths.  I am extremely proud of that grade C, it was what I needed to get where I wanted to go and I worked so so hard for it.  I do not believe there is any way that I could have done better, I could not have worked harder, my own mental capacity in this subject area was what limited me.  I flourished in other subjects and that's ok, we cannot all be experts in everything.  

However I think the world forgets this, we live in a time where we are told, and we tell our young people that they "can do anything you set your mind to" (Benjamin Franklin) if they work hard enough. This is not true and it is incongruent with Charlotte Mason's philosophy (Sorry Ben!) Charlotte acknowledges that each child has different capacities, limits, strengths.  She says "Genius comes by nature" that is to say that some children have genius and some do not and no amount of education can create it.  And that's ok!  The point being that a child is not born as a blank sheet of paper just waiting to become either a genius (with the correct attitude, mindset and willpower) or a delinquent (with the wrong attitude, mindset and lack of willpower), their born nature plays an important part as well.

  

It is easy to dismiss children who are struggling in a subject or skill as simply not trying hard enough, not working hard enough or not applying their mind enough to the task, and this is where the notion that "you can do anything you set your mind to" is problematic.  The reality might simply be that their born nature has strengths that would excel elsewhere given then right environment, habits and approach. 

I couldn't have put my mind to it any harder that I did back when I did my maths GCSE, my limit was a C. It wasn't any lacking in my upbringing that meant maths wasn't my strength, it was my born nature. 

The other problem I see with people not seeing children as whole persons is that, because they see a child as a blank sheet of paper waiting the have a mark made upon it, they expect children to be exact replicas of themselves or their parents, (for good or for ill) parents want their children to behave and act in the way that they would, or at least in he way they want, and likewise have low expectations for children of parents who have struggled in life. 

This is problematic for children who do not act how their parents would want. For example if we place a group of boys, or otherwise energetic and spirited children in a confined space and expect them to sit quietly listening for an hour, it would be unreasonable of us to get cross when they found this difficult, although a group of girls or quieter children may be able to do this without difficulty because their nature is to be able to do so. This is not the fault of the boys or their parents teaching and training, it is the fault of the parents or educators having unreasonable expectations. 

 
 

I again speak from personal experience as a person who was a very biddable child who could sit listening for fairly long periods of time without difficulty, but I observe my sons and see that this is not something they would be able to achieve, not because their character is lacking, because they haven't been taught or disciplined in the right way by me, but simply because it is not in their nature, they are their own people, with their own strengths and weaknesses, it's like Einstein says: 

"But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." 



I haven't included the first part of this quote which is "Everybody is a genius" because, as previously discussed, I do not agree (sorry Albert!)

Likewise for the child of parents who have struggled in life, (who perhaps haven't had the right opportunity to flourish and find their strengths), their nature isn't necessarily going to replicate that of their parents (although I do acknowledge that nurture plays a part in how a child develops of course) given the right environment, habit training and approach these children can thrive and flourish and find their own strengths just as well as those whose parents have been successful, but if we dismiss children as failures before getting to know their nature and finding out how they can thrive we do them a great disservice. 

Each child has their own unique and individual personalities that they're born with and grow into with our help, none is a mini me, a blank sheet ready for us to impress our own personalities, and people who think this will be in for a shock when they discover that their children have their own minds, their own natures, their own strengths (and weaknesses) and personalities. 

The first example above is posed as a fault of the child; they did not work hard enough, or put their mind to it enough, the second example is posed as the fault of the parent for not training or disciplining their child correctly.  Neither is true, and once we start to see children as born persons we can begin to understand them and nurture their personalities and nature more appropriately, set more reasonable expectations, and allow our children to thrive and flourish in areas where their can. 


 

This is meant to be one of the beautiful things about home education, but it is so easy to get ourselves caught up in trying to squeeze our children into the shapes we want them to be rather than allowing, encouraging, nurturing them to grow into the shapes they were meant to be. I know I have been guilty of this and I am taking stock, remembering that each of my children has their own unique personalities, their own learning preferences, their own capacities and their own passions. 

I look forward to discovering who each of my children grow to become, watching them find their strengths, and seeing them thrive when I allow for their own unique qualities to shine forth. 



Sunday, 5 March 2023

Joyful Homeschool

I am certain that some British friends would wince at my use of the term "home school".  In the UK the term for teaching your children at home is "Home education".  Some people can become quite pedantic about not using the term "home school" because they say it implies school at home, which is, quite rightly what we are trying to get away from.   However I have found the term "home school" to be very useful.  It certainly rolls off the tongue more easily that "home education", and I have found that it is more easily understood by questioning strangers.  Funnily enough my children have taken to using "home school" to describe what we do in spite of my correcting them in the past. I think they simply find it easier to say and they find they are better understood.  

I think you'll agree that "joyful home school" has much more of a ring to it that "joyful home education".  My argument, like our American friends (who typically use the term "home school" in favour of "home education") is that in actual fact home school is not school-at-home.  The word school has several definitions, one of which is the place which children go to to receive an education,  this could be home could it not?  Similarly the word "schooled" as in "home schooled" simply means to receive an education.  So using the term "home school" certainly does not mean the replication of the institute of "school" at home. 

All that to say,  today I am talking about my word of the year "joyful"  and how I am going to be attempting to apply it to our home school (home education!).  

Before I begin I would like to take a moment to reflect on my February focus which was "Joyful Parenting".  I read "Yell Less, Love More"  By Sheila McCraith, and am about half way through "Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys" by Noel Janis-Norton.  I really enjoyed McCraith's book she is very honest and wears her heart on her sleeve which really helps you to feel a connection to her; it makes her very relatable.  I also enjoyed all her tips for yelling at your children less. She gives lots of ideas for strategies to use to get a handle on your yelling.  It is a fairly gentle approach to parenting and does ask her readers to examine what behaviours can be triggering, and how to manage them,  I like this idea more than the idea of having to spend time in counselling to supposedly overcome your triggers, learning to manage them is much more realistic.  However I have found that what you mostly need is a heck of a lot of self control to stop yourself from yelling, and what I really need more of are strategies to stop my children from doing things that cause me to yell.  This is where "Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys" by Noel Janis-Norton has been really useful.  I absolutely love her no-nonsense way of talking about children's behaviour, no messing about with talking about "big feelings", she quite honestly describers some behaviours as annoying (thank you!)  and gives really practical and achievable ways to help your children become less annoying!  I am about half way through this book and am already putting some of her techniques into practice, for example using praise (shocking!), more specifically descriptive praise ("I noticed you put your plate in the kitchen") rather than hyperbolic praise ("Oooh fantastic plate carrying!"), and reflective listening.  I am finding the reflective listening really helpful with my 6 year old he responds really well to it, but I often forget about the techniques and fall back into old habits of yelling, begging and coercing.  I also realise I also need to get my husband on board so that we can be a united front for things to really change.  There is still much to work on, and I will be continuing to hold "joyful parenting"  in my mind as I move into my March focus of "Joyful Home school".  

When I saw that I had chosen "Home school" to be the focus on this month I wanted to skip it, or switch it with something easier.  How on earth can I make our home school joyful? It really doesn't feel joyful right now.  The main problem is that my boys do not want to do anything that I suggest.  All they want to do is play with their friends or have their eyes on a screen.  Screens have become extremely problematic in our house in spite of me restricting them.  And I do believe strongly in restricting screen time (you can read my blog post about it if you like).  I don't believe children's brains are developed enough to be able to self regulate their screen time when it is, by nature so incredibly stimulating and addictive.  What is more, I do in fact have to give them an education.  I am obligated to by law.  I know that this can look very different to a school education, and I understand that some people who take an "Unschooling" approach to their children's education would encourage me to let them do what they like, (which I hear can include unlimited screen access), but I am just not the right personality to be able to do that.  It would cause me far too much anxiety.  Also I love learning and what I longed for when we decided to home educate was to share my love of learning with them; I want to show them all the beautiful things, all the art, all the music, amazing world history, astonishing geography, mind-blowing science, I want to show them the world, and I want them to share in my excitement about it all and I want to share in theirs.  So how can I do this without the tears, tantrums and repeated chants of "no," or "I'm not doing it," or "it's boring", or "I hate...(insert whatever it is I'm suggesting here...")?  The answer right now is that I don't know!  To be honest I really don't understand it because, as much as I hated school, I loved learning, I loved finding things out, drawing diagrams, writing descriptions, stories, being creative... Is it because I am Female and I'm just wired differently? I don't know, but something needs to change.

I have seen some people suggest that I could grab one of their interests and run with it.  For example, my boys are quite into Minecraft, and I have seen products online such as Minecraft Maths books for example.  Unfortunately my boys know from a mile away when I am trying to make something "educational", they're not that easily tricked!  

Likewise,  some have suggested that by letting them really get into the thing they are interested in, I might be facilitating for them to be then next amazing xbox game designer or coding expert.  However I would argue that in order to be a producer of something that requires creativity, a game designer for example, one needs to have a bank of experiences, images, sensations, art, understanding about the world etc in their hearts and minds to draw from in order to create something new and exciting.  I don't believe anyone ever created anything extraordinary from simply playing the old games day in day out.

What is more I quite simply don't want them glued to a screen every day.  I do not believe it is healthy, I do not believe it is nourishing or enriching and I do not believe it will help them to turn into good men who give something positive to the world.  I want to spend time with them, get to know them, share experiences with them and have opportunities for expanding their hearts and minds with new ideas and knowledge.  And I want them to experience all the good and beautiful things first hand. 

Talking to the boys, what they do seem to enjoy is field trips, though there is still a degree of resistance in leaving the house.  Unfortunately field trips can be expensive, they're tiring, and some things just can't be learnt through field trips alone.  They enjoy doing experiments, but again not everything can be learnt or experienced through an experiment.  

I want them to be free to enjoy their childhoods without the pressure that comes with a school education, but I also need to teach them maths, and how to write and spell and at the moment, this part is like pulling teeth! Help! I really have no clue what the answer is at the moment, so of course I am doing what any sensible person does in an unknown situation, I am going to buy books!  (My husband will be thrilled!) As March unfolds I will see how I can inject more joy into our home learning, and I'll report back here so you can find out how it went! 

I really believe home education can be a joyful experience for both me and my children, at least 90% of the time, that's the goal.  Joyful home school here we come!