So What Do You Actually Do All Day?

Home education has been on the public radar quite a lot over the past two years with parents across the country being plunged head first into trying to educate their children from home back in March 2020.  Many parents found this experience excruciating and couldn’t wait for schools to re-open, still others loved in and decided to embark on home educating their children full time.  I had a really hard time during lock down in spite of regularly being told that nothing much must have changed for me.  Clearly there was a pre-conceived idea that home education took place entirely in the home in isolation from the wider world.  This could not be further from the truth and I struggled so much not being able to attend our groups, see friend and visit museums, libraries and other educational places.  These were a huge part of my educational provision, just being home all day everyday was not part of the plan!

Two years on and many families have decided to continue home educating their children; as a result, numbers have risen and the government are starting to get concerned.  They don’t really want children being home educated because that means one parent not working (at least not full time) and therefore contributing less tax revenue than that of a full time working parent. I think the government would also prefer every British citizen to have the same educational experience as each other (except for the rich ones of course), it doesn’t really want too many free thinkers walking about.  So, in a small part as a result of the rise in numbers of home educating families over the last two years, the government have pressed on with their plan to introduce a home education register, along with their “schools bill” which all parents should be concerned about, home educating or otherwise. There is a lot of information on the internet about it, so I won’t harp on here, but needless to say the government’s claims that they will “level up standards” and be providing educational “excellence” are pretty laughable. 

The Government claim that there are children “under the radar”; parents who are keeping their children locked up at home, neglected, with no socialisation and likely abuse under the guise of “home education, or else are indoctrinating children with illegal schools.  The Government claim that a register will make sure that no children are missed (won’t those parents abusing their children just not sign the register seeing as they are already doing something illegal?!)  in spite of the fact that every single child who was abused under the guise of home education were already know to local authorities.   It seems to me a lot of parents, even those in the home ed community think the Governments plan is a good idea, “if it saves just one child from abuse it’s worth it” they say “nothing to hide, nothing to fear” they say.  But the reality is that sadly it won’t save any children from abuse.  More children are abused in school than in home education.  It’s never really about the children.

Maybe because of lockdown and how parents were forced into home learning in isolation, there are a lot of misconceptions about home education, and the image of all children sat at the kitchen table receiving drills in maths an English, churning out a generation of, at best, maladjusted weirdos, and at worst illiterate criminals, continues to permeate the minds of the general public. This perception was further ingrained after the lockdown as parents assumed what they were doing at home with their schooled children was the same as what we were doing with our home educated children (all at home, not going out, not seeing anyone).  And that, as I have said, couldn’t be further from the truth. 

One question I get asked a lot is “so what do you actually do?”.  So I thought I would take this opportunity to dispel some myths and to give an insight into our daily life.  This is in part inspired by a friend of mine who did the same recently on Facebook (so thanks for that Amy).  I’ll tell you what the average week looks like, but I will also tell you about some of the interactions and spontaneous learning opportunities that take place that simply cannot be substantiated. 

I dislike the use of the word routine and lean more towards rhythm in describing our days,  routine feels strict and unbending, but our rhythms change and move and flow with the seasons, the moods and the weather.  So please see this as less of a timetable of events and more of a flow of predictable rituals, traditions and habits interspersed with spontaneous learning opportunities, space for exploration, play and time with friends.

We begin each day at the dining table with breakfast and a story.  At the moment I am reading Bible stories to the children from a big old Hamlyn Children’s Bible with lots of colourful illustrations.  I like this book as it sounds a bit more like the Bible than some other children’s editions, so prepares their minds a little bit for the style of writing in the Bible.  I read a few chapters then summarise what has been read at the end and ask the children to narrate what they remembered.  After this we do a morning devotional.  At the moment this is “Our 24 Family Ways” by Clay Clarkson.  A devotional is usually something a bit like a discussion or Bible study around a certain topic.  This devotional is about character and values.  It begins with some thought provoking questions, followed by a bible verse, some discussion questions surrounding the verse and then a prayer.  After this we read some poetry.  Currently we are reading from Collins “Treasury of Poetry” illustrated by Hilda Boswell. I love Hilda Boswells illustrations and I also have “A Child’s Garden of Verses” illustrated by her. We discuss the poems as we go. 

Once the boys are dressed and teeth brushed and chores done (I will do another blog post about chores soon)  we usually sit down to do some Maths and English.  For Maths we are following the curriculum “Maths no Problem”.  Maths is my weak area so I feel much more confident using a curriculum which I know will take the boys through everything they need to know for Maths.  I like Maths no Problem as it uses The Singapore Maths approach, but also the traditional approach which I learnt at school, so it given children different ways of working things out.  I wouldn’t say this is necessarily the best Maths curriculum out there, but it is good value for money. For English we use workbooks for reading, spelling, punctuation and handwriting, the skills they need to decipher and understand texts and to write their own.  But they are free to do their own writing whenever they want, both hand written and typed on the computer, story and letter writing happens fairly regularly, on its own in our house.  On an average day this rhythm takes most of the morning.

We do a variety of things in the afternoons, at the moment on Mondays our afternoons are free so we usually do some work on our current topics.  Often this is listening to a story which we might do round the table with a cup of tea, sat on the sofa with biscuits, on a picnic bench in the garden or even on the trampoline!  Currently we are reading about Alexander the Great. We also do crafts, art,  baking, or science experiments in this time, then the boys play.   In the evening my two eldest go to Cubs.

On Tuesdays, after our usual morning rhythms, I take my eldest to drama, one of the home ed mums is putting on a performance of Mary Poppins 2.  While he is there I take my other three boys to a park and we usually do a nature walk.  After I collect my eldest from drama we go home and do stories, then the boys are free to play outside or with their friends or our neighbours.  In the evening all three boys do Jujitsu class.

Wednesday afternoons are a meet with a group of our Christian Home education friends in the afternoon.  We usually do some sort of activity or social.  On Wednesday evening my 6 year old goes to Beavers.

Thursdays are another free day. The afternoons are often spent with friends or doing activities at home.

Fridays are a social day, we do nature group in the morning, always with a different topic, usually following the “Exploring Nature with Children” curriculum.  This involves a walk in nature, be that a meadow, field or pond, a story and sometimes an activity.  We do this with a group of friends.  In the afternoon we do park meet with a big group of home educators from all over the Forest.  Friday evenings are a treat night, so the boys have a snack and dinner on the sofa whilst watching a film.

This is the general rhythm of our week, but what you don’t see from this description are the many spontaneous activities that take place.  The comic book strip writing, the engineering structures in the garden, the team work, the podcast one of them wants to make, the random questions that require an exploration in an encyclopaedia,  the board game playing, the spontaneous piano lesson, or French lesson on Duo Lingo, the story writing, the YouTube video inspired by something we read in a book, the lego building, the coding session, the stop motion animation, the nature walks, the excursions to castles, museums, libraries and shops,  the list goes on.  All these things happen spontaneously and without them being timetabled or planned in.  Making sure there is plenty of free time allows for this sort of exploration and genuine learning experiences.

We are very flexible with our week, we do not do Maths and English every day if there is a day out planned, or perhaps, some days things are just different, maybe we slept in one day because we were late to bed after staying late with a friend the previous day, or maybe the mood just isn’t right for table work and we decide to do some baking or painting instead.  I don’t like to be too strict with our days.  I like to present my children with new ideas and experiences as much as possible to allow their brains to think and grow.

So that is our life at the moment, it changes and flows throughout the year as different groups or classes start or end and the seasons roll on, it’s working well for us and is unique to our family, but might not be right for another family. Some families will do fewer groups, be home more, others will have online classes and group lessons and be at home even less. That is the beauty of home education, it is tailored, personalised and unique to each family. 

Most importantly we are doing life together, learning to love and care for each other, to be responsible, to be kind and make life good as a family.  We see the good and the bad together and work through big feelings.  We don’t live a complicate life and I try not to be too busy, I like to be calm and have as little stress as possible.

I hope this dispels any myths you may have and satisfies your curiosities, I hope it gives an understanding of what home ed life might be like, not to persuade you to make your life like mine but to gain understanding, because with understanding come acceptance.

You've decided to home ed, now what?

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In my last post I posed two thoughts for you to consider if you have been thinking about home educating.  Now you have decided to take the leap, what next?
In this post I will discuss some steps you need to take next and some steps that you might like to take as you begin your home education journey.

If you child is currently enrolled in a school you must inform the school that you intend to remove them from the school to home educate them.  A simple letter stating your intention should be enough to satisfy the school and they are legally obligated to remove your child from the school roll and inform the local authority that your child is no longer enrolled in the school. 

And now you are free, and the adventure begins.  No curriculum, no timetables, no school bells, no tests, no deadlines.  The world is your oyster.  The only stipulation is that the education you provide be efficient (meets it's goals) is full time (the government does not specify how many hours are "full-time") and is suitable for your child's age, ability and aptitude (you are the best person to know this).  

This can be both exciting and daunting, where do you begin now?

With this newfound freedom and excitement comes the discovery of a whole new world of learning possibilities:  Home ed Forest School, music classes, science clubs, sports sessions, home ed rock climbing and gymnastics, home ed maths and literacy, group classes, playground meets, online classes, big box curriculums, and any other kind of activity you can think of set up just for home educated children.  These are just some of the many options out there that will help your child ,make progress, meet other people and fill up your diary. 

Of course all these things are good and important, but if there is one thing I have learnt over my years of home educating, it is to SLOW DOWN!  You'll probably want to sign up for every group possible, but the groups will still be there is a month, 3 months, 6 months time, put away your FOMO (Fear of missing out) and embrace your JOMO (joy of missing out).  Groups and classes give us a sense of security because it feels like we must be succeeding if we are busy, and we feel reassured as we pass on some of the responsibility for our children's learning onto someone else.  But remember you know your child better than anyone. You don't need to know everything in order to be your children's teacher, you can learn together based on your child's interests and pretty much all the learning resources you could possibly want or need are available to you online often for free.  Remember you were your child's first teacher and your ability to facilitate their learning didn't stop when they turned 5.

So take some time to really get to know your child again, spend time in nature, read some really good books together, find out what their passions are outside of the social pressures of school, find out what "subjects" they love and which they despise, find out what motivates them and what leaves them disinterested, discover if they are kinaesthetic, auditory or visual learners, find out what their love languages are, go for long walks and talk, watch movies together, get up in the middle of the night just to look at the stars, dance in the rain... Enjoy all the little things in life that you were perhaps too busy to appreciate when you had places to be. 

Don't rush, just enjoy.

As your home education journey begins to grow, you might like to think about recording some of the activities you get up to, this could be photographically or written notes or diaries, scrapbooks or journals. This will be useful for you to look back on and see your child's progress and as a way of gathering memories. There is no legal requirement for you to do this, but if there is ever any doubt as to your provision it is something you can whip out for the local authority to demonstrate that the home education you are providing is full time, efficient and is suitable to your child's age ability and aptitude.

Finally to quote Meryl Street in Death Becomes Her "now a warning!" But don't be worried, it's nothing to be afraid of:  You might receive a letter from your local authority asking for a home visit to check on your provision.  There is no obligation for you to accept this visit, no obligation for you to meet in your home, for them to meet your children or for them to see your child's work. You could meet elsewhere, such as in a library or playground or politely decline a visit altogether citing your knowledge and understanding of your home education responsibilities as a reason for not requiring a visit and that you'll let them know if you need any help.  It can be useful to provide an educational philosophy explaining some of the activities you take part in and some of your general plans, but it would be wise not to be too specific with these as if you end up not following through with your plans this could be considered a failure to provide an "efficient" education. Keeping communication in writing (i.e. email) means you will have all your communications with the LA on record. 

Home education can be a really beautiful and unique journey, remember you know your child better than anyone, you don't need to know everything before your child does, you learn together.  I'd love to hear how you are getting on or if there is anything else you would like to know and I will do my best to help, I wish you all the best on your journey. 

Here are a few links to websites providing free resources that you might find helpful:

https://www.amblesideonline.org/

https://www.khanacademy.org/

https://allinonehomeschool.com/

http://oldfashionededucation.com/

https://www.coreknowledge.org/

https://www.freedomhomeschooling.com/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/teach

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize

https://www.teachyourmonstertoread.com/

https://freddiesmummyuk.com/homeschooling/

And some books that may be of interest:

Number Hop Activity

I've teamed up with education.com to bring you another fun learning activity for your little ones.

This activity great for exercising growing muscles and will also help your child learn their numbers.  Balance and co-ordination will also be put to the test as they make their way from number to number.

As we currently have an Arctic theme in our home ed at the moment I used the idea of hopping from ice burg to ice burg, but you could do the leap from theme that education.com suggested to me.

Here are their instructions for the activity, then I will share with you how I adapted this idea for my own children:

What you need:

• 20 sheets of varying colour of construction paper or white sheets of paper for the ice burg hop.
• 1 black marker.

What you do:

1. Help your child set out the sheets of construction paper on a flat surface.
2. Then, using the black marker, let your child draw a number on each card (the numbers 1-20, one per card).
3. Next, help her place the cards on the ground in a line, about a foot apart. You could do variations such as placing the cards counting up, counting down, even numbers, or odd numbers.
4. To play the game, your child should stand at one end of the number line.
5. Call out, “HOP.”
6. Encourage your child to hop onto the nearest lily pad and call out the number.
7. She wins when she makes it to the end of the line, having successfully called out all of the numbers.

Number Leap Frog is a great way to build a strong math foundation for future learning. Not to mention it's a silly and fun way to get lots of exercise and keep those minds and bodies active! 

We adapted this idea to our Arctic theme by using white sheets of paper as "ice burgs".  We played by rolling a die and Boris had to identify the number on the die, then translate that to the written numbers on the "ice burgs".  He had to hop in random directions, sometimes far, sometimes near to get to the right number.  He then had a go at writing some random numbers of his own onto more sheets of paper then insisted that I do the ice burg hop!

It was a fun activity and great for helping to learn number identification.  I felt like I could have extended the idea by using two dice and getting Boris to add the numbers together.

Let me know if you have a go at this idea, I would love to see how you make it work for your children. 

Spy Theme Letter Activity

Hi Everyone,


Today I am blogging for Education.com who have inspired me with their letter detectives preschool activity.  This would be perfect for a Spy or detective themed topic or, you know, just for fun. I would like to try something like this with UV pens and lights too!

Getting a preschooler to sit still and run through the alphabet isn't easy. And why should it be? It sounds boring.

But spice things up with a few adult looking markers and the promise of a hunt, and you're in business. This activity turns kids into word detectives—scouring their way through documents in search of their prey.

For more fun and exciting preschool activities, check out Education.com!

What You Need:

• Highlighters in several colors
• Magazines or newspapers
• Several index cards or post-it notes
• Magnifying glass (optional)

What You Do:

1. Choose a letter of the alphabet. Make sure that your child knows what it looks like, both as a capital letter and as a lowercase. (You may want to print both versions on an index card or post-it note, to give him a reference.) Once you've given your child a target, arm him with a set of old magazines or newspapers to hunt through, and a magnifying glass if you've got one, to add to the Sherlock Holmes experience. As he finds his letter, he should highlight it.
2. Want to add extra excitement? Use a timer and see how many versions of the letter your child can find in two or three minutes. Tally the number and see if she can "beat" it the next time.
3. If your child is having difficulty with this, don't despair. The magazine and newspaper pages may have too much writing on them. You can create your own page using a computer's word processing program. Instead of those Word Searches, so common in the newspaper, you're creating a Letter Search. Be sure to use a large font size, then type letters randomly, using some uppercase and some lowercase letters. To keep frustration levels low, use your focus letter frequently, at least at first. Here's an example of what a letter search for "Aa" would look like.
4. Once your child is finding all of the letters of the alphabet quickly, challenge him with some high frequency words, instead. Some possible words to start with include: “the”, “a”, “to”, “my”, “is”, “you”, and “and”.

The more she practices, the faster she'll get. So keep those highlighters handy, and the hunt fresh.

Hope you have fun with this activity, let me know if you give it a go and if your kids love it.  What other ideas d you use to get your children into letters?

Home Ed update

Since September we have been officially (unofficially) home educating out eldest son. Officially because he would have started school in September had that been our choice, unofficially because technically he doesn't have to start school until the term following his 5th birthday.

All my friends and family have been incredibly supportive of our choice to home educate (thank you all of you), most people say that they think it's great but not something they themselves could take on.  I think I have explained to most of my friends and family who are interested how home education works but when I meet new people and they find out that we are home educating they naturally ask questions, and in so doing reveal the many myths that surround home ed, which I duly demolish.
Here is a rundown of the top myths/questions and comments I hear and my response:

So you are getting visits from the local authority?
No, actually there is no legal obligation for home educators to receive visits from the local authority.  Some people find it helpful but it's not a requirement. Often the local authority want to visit to check that you are providing an education suitable to your children's age, ability and aptitude, but in my opinion I don't need to be checked on this by the Local Authority any more than I need the police to come round to check that I am not committing a crime. If you decide to have visits from the Local Authority (LA) then it's useful to remember you don't have to meet in your home, you could meet in a library for example. If the LA ask to visit us by letter I will respond to them (by letter) by outlining some of our home ed intentions and decline the offer of a visit. I recently read a really great home ed philosophy written by Ross Mountney in her book "A Funny Kind of Education":

"We plan for the education to be centered around their needs, for the most part autonomous, deriving from their own interests and daily pursuits, at times democratic, where their learning is shared, helped, broadened and encouraged by our parental input.  Our aim is for happy, self motivated  children who take pleasure in learning.  We hope to provide a stimulating environment in which they may do this, both in the home with materials, books, television, computers and in the community and further afield with trips to libraries, visits to places of interest, field trips and activities which encourage interest and curiosity about their daily lives and environment, all of which are sources of learning and educational opportunity.
We see learning as an integral part of our children's daily lives and not separate from it or segregated into subjects.  Therefore it is not timetabled or structured; this would be unnecessarily inhibiting.  It may take place from the minute their wake up to the  minute they sleep, over meal times, social times, unusual times, any time, by discussions and questioning, conversations, investigations and research, not necessarily normal in procedure.  We see it therefore as mostly spontaneous and unplanned.  Thus we can take advantage of the purest receptive moments when learning potential is at its peak.
We are quite confident that contact with family, friends, social event, clubs and activities of this nature provide our children with plenty of social interaction."

I would probably use a statement similar to this to describe our home ed intentions.

But you have to tell them you're home educating don't you?
Actually no.  So long as I am fulfilling my responsibilities to provide an education suitable to their age, ability and aptitude I need do nothing more.  As above, the Local Authority would like to have a list of all the children being home educated because they have concerns that any children not in state or private education are being hidden away for some nasty reason.  Again, as above I don't need the LA checking up on me any more than I need the police checking up on me (I can't see the population as a whole agreeing to be checked on by the police to make sure they aren't committing a crime can you?)  We aren't hiding away or doing anything nasty, so unless the LA has reason to believe we are doing something amiss they have no reason to put us on a list or pay us a visit.  The onus is on them to prove we AREN'T providing an education, not on us that we are. Therefore they have to have a good reason to believe we aren't providing an education in order to make a visit to check that we are.

Oh but you used to be a teacher so that's ok, I wouldn't know enough to teach my children.
Well yes this is true, but to be honest being a Secondary School Art and Design teacher doesn't help me all that much in teaching literacy and numeracy.  Also lets not forget that the teachers in school learnt what they needed to teach the children, so we too as parents are quite capable to learning what the children need to learn, In fact learning alongside my children has been really exciting.  And here's another thing, we all managed just fine to teach our children everything they needed to know before they reached school age so I see no reason to believe we can't teach them the school stuff too.  Teachers aren't taught all about Anne Frank or Florence Nightingale or how volcanoes work or metamorphosis, they learn it as they have to teach it. As home educators we are facilitators of learning not jugs of knowledge than need to be decanted in to the little brains of our children. We help them to learn by providing the resources, environment, information etc that they need.
I also want to mention at this point that I know not everyone wants to home educated their children.  Just because I am doesn't mean I think you should.  I am not anti school, I think there is most definitely a place for it in our society, it's just not a good fit for our family at the moment.

Do you have to follow a curriculum?
No you don't.  You don't have to follow any curriculum or you can follow one if you want to, the National Curriculum or any of the other free curriculum online, or the many you can pay for.  We are choosing to loosely follow the National Curriculum because, if for any reason we feel it would be right for our family for any of our children to go into school I would like them to have equivalent understanding to the other children in their year group.

But don't the Local Authority send you the Curriculum and everything you need to teach at home?
No they don't.  As far as I know they don't send you anything (possibly a link to the National Curriculum online at the most)  Which is another reason why I feel no need to have the Local Authority involvement in our Home Education.  It should be a two way relationship and as far as I can see it is more about proving to the LA that we are doing enough than them providing support and help.  I don't need their assessment, as it is of no value to me and my children.

But what about socialisation?
This is the question I am asked most often.  We socialise nearly everyday (probably a bit too much actually) We go to groups, meet with friends at their houses and have them at ours, we see our families and we socialise with members of the public at playgrounds, shops, church, National Trust Houses etc etc etc.
The funny thing about this question is that, as a pupil I was always led to believe that at school I was "here to learn not socialise".  Ironic really.

So you've had to sign a register then?
As above, no there is no requirement to be on a register.  If your child has already been in school and is then withdrawn then they will be known to the Local Authority, if they have never been in school or Preschool then they won't be known to the local authority and won't be on a register.  A register of home educated children in the thin en of the wedge in my opinion.  You start with a register, then they insist on visits, then there are boxes which need to be ticked and with boxes come requirements, and there begins a process of enforced curriculums, visits, examinations etc etc.  No no we don't have to sign a register and I would not be in support of any kind of Home Education register.  I am aware that people feel that there should be one for child protection issues and I would like to remind those people that all the children who have been involved in high profile child protection issues in the media were already known to the local authority. We are no more a threat to children by home educating them than anyone else in school.  I also resent the implication that by choosing to home educate we must be doing something nasty that our children need protection from.  I heard on the radio the other day that the equivalent of one girl PER DAY is raped IN SCHOOL!!  So please, spare me the child protection concerns and concentrate on those children who are being abused on a daily basis actually in school!

What will you do when they have to take exams?
Well we don't HAVE to take exams.  There are many careers which do not require exams for you to be successful in them.

But what if they want to go to University?
Not all Universities require you to have previous qualifications particularly if you go to University after the age of 25.  However we are still able to take exams as and when we choose (i.e. we could do two or three GCSEs a year for 4 years rather than 10 in one year as in school)  we just need to find a Centre which will take us on as an external candidate (which I am led to believe is not difficult)  The only downside is that we would have to pay for the exams, although some Local Authorities will help Home Educators with these fees.

I don't know how you get your children to listen to you, they only listen to their teacher and wouldn't sit still for me.
My children don't know any different than me being their facilitator of their learning.  They don't see it as a teacher being someone who teaches them stuff and I am this other person that gives them food and takes them places.  Some children who have previously been in school can find it difficult to adjust to the change in relationship with their parents, there is a different dynamic between them, but it is my view that this can easily be altered by a period of de-schooling and with the provision of lots of interesting learning opportunities.

Aren't you worried they'll turn our weird?
No I am not.  My hope is that they will turn out with their love of learning in tact (children are wired to learn from birth), celebrating their individuality not hiding it, (Boris loves pink, My Little Pony and doesn't see any difference between boys and girls, I wonder how long that would last in school?), their energy and enthusiasm enhanced, a good ability to socialise with people of all ages, an understanding that creativity is more important than knowledge.  I hope that my children will question and challenge the status quo, stand out, not blend in, know that they can make a difference in the world, have the potential to lead the revolution, and above all know that experiencing and showing love and kindness are the most important lessons we can learn in life.

(A painting I did recently for a friend)

Why and How we decided against Pre-School

Original painting available in my shop 15 x 18" mixed media on canvas

About a week ago the final day passed where I could have booked Boris into a place in a pre-school.  It would only have been for one term, but it was our last chance.

We have ummd and ahhhd about it for over a year and really in the end it wasn't so much making a decision that got us to where we are now, but lack of being able to make a decision. However, on reflection I know that deep down I knew what I really wanted to do, but was afraid and lacked validation.  It's really hard to make a decision which is the opposite of almost everyone you know, especially when they are singing the praises of the choice they made.  This is bound to happen because obviously people want to feel good about their choices, but it makes it hard to get a balanced view in order to make an informed decision.

So I have decided to sum up my feelings about the decision not to send him in a little  actually-quite-long post that might help others decide but mainly just helps me to confirm my thoughts about it and to clarify the reasons in my own mind.

1. Being a parent is hard, I often complain tell people how hard I am finding things, that's healthy right?  Often people's response has been to put Boris into pre-school, they see I am struggling and they think that's the perfect answer, the load would be lightened, I would get a bit more time to myself (sort of although still looking after Biscuit), it would make things easier when the new baby arrives, but I realised that I don't need Boris to be away from me for 15 hours a week, or even 5 hours a week, I just need an hour or so here and there and actually I need an hour or so here and there away from both of them, not just Boris, time to myself, time of peace and quiet, time to sort the house and time to attend to my creativity.  Time away from just one of them doesn't help me all that much because I still have to look after the other and in many ways they are easier together because they have company and someone to play with.

2. There isn't anything a pre-school can offer Boris that I can't offer him myself at home and through the home ed groups we already attend. In terms of education we look at numbers and letters, I am familiar with what's included in the Foundation Stage Profile and Boris and I are talking ALL THE TIME, he asks a ton of questions and I answer them, or we look up the answer.  We socialise with other children and adults of all different ages.  We could socialise every day if we wanted to, but usually its three or four times a week, sometimes in groups, sometimes with individuals.

3. Part of the role of pre-school is to prepare children for school.  We don't need to prepare him for school because we are planning on home educating, so there is no need for him to be ready to do many of the things that school education requires such as some aspects of self care, conflict resolution, being able to sit still for long periods of time, being able to function well in large groups of children of the same age, that sort of thing.  Not that these things are bad, but they are just not things he needs to be able to do right now and they are things I believe he will be able to do given time and space in the future.

4. I wasn't able to find a pre school with a place available that didn't use rewards and punishments to manipulate behavior and what I mean by this is, all but one of the pre-schools I looked at use "time outs" (naughty chair) or a version there of as punishment for undesirable behavior.  This is totally against our parenting philosophy so I see no reason to introduce it in a pre-school setting.  It is the way most schools operate so it makes sense for children who will be attending school to be able to function well within a system that works like this, but seeing as Boris won't be attending school, there is no need.

5. I worry about Boris feeling under pressure to fulfill the Foundation Stage Profile markers.  They are mainly about school readiness,  and I would be so sad for him to be switched off to reading, writing or maths in later life because he felt under any pressure to perform at it at age 4 because of the pressure that childcare providers are under for the children who attend their centers to fulfill the criteria.

6.  I realised that it was what I wanted subconsciously.  Whenever I looked at posts on Facebook about pre-school, I realised I was scanning through the responses looking for people who had not sent their child to pre-school or had taken them out.  I wanted to validate my choice by hearing other parent's stories.  I desperately wanted to hear about other people making the same choice that I wanted to make.  You may wonder why I felt I needed validation from others on such a decision when I find it so easy to go against the norm in so many other areas of my life, but I think it's because this is the one thing (not just pre-school but home-ed generally) which will really make us different as a family.  Most of the choices we have made so far have been health related, either physical health or mental health, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, gentle parenting etc, but home educating will really make our lifestyles different to other people's.  It's much easier to get validation on home education but less so on pre-school because a surprisingly large amount of people who home educate do send their children to pre-school.

7. We asked Boris what he wanted.  Now this was a tricky one because the poor boy didn't know what on earth we were talking about.  As far as he knew pre-school was a playground (we often walk past pre-schools on our way to places so he sees the outside play area),  which he naturally thought was great. But we talked to him about how he would be away from mummy and Biscuit and that he would have to go there on the set days and all the other things about pre-school which don't involve him getting to play outside in the playground and he decided that he would rather stay with mummy. It's a really difficult thing to do, talking about the negative side of child care, most parents are telling their children how great it will be and how much they will love it, and I was doing the total opposite.

In coming to this decision it has really helped me to talk to people who have taken their children out of childcare settings and understanding the reasons why.  I think a lot of people find it difficult to talk about because they don't want to cause offence to other parents who still send their children to pre-school who might feel like they are being criticized for their choice. It is, of course no criticism of their choice.  Every family is different and has to do what is right for them. But it can be very difficult to know what is right for your family when there is so much pressure from others to make one particular choice.  Family, who are influenced by the media and government pressure for mothers to go back to work and the benefits of pre-school, think they are being helpful in suggesting pre-school as it would give you a break and help your child to "socialise" or whatever. Friends who send their child to pre-school will naturally want to validate their choice by telling you how great it is, and if they have any mixed feelings about their choice it will make them feel better about it if you do the same; and the Government are putting huge pressure on families to send their children to pre-school so that parents can get back into work (and give them more of their hard earned wages through taxes).  So to find people who are making the same choice you think you want to can be extremely helpful in giving you a balanced view in order to make an informed choice.

So there we have it, no pressure to get up in the morning to get Boris to pre-school on time, no "settling in time", no wondering if Boris' needs are being met or if he has been left on the naughty spot.  We are going to be together as a family, starting as we mean to go on.