Social Media Fast - my 40 days offline

 It's Lent!

This is a special time of year for some Christians as we prepare to celebrate Jesus' death and resurrection on Good Friday followed by Easter. 

This time of preparation was traditionally used as a time of fasting, remembering Jesus' 40 days and nights in the desert where he fasted from food and drink and was tested by the devil. 

Since the 300's AD people fasted during lent, and later people would fast from foods like eggs, milk and butter, which is why we make pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, to use up these items. 

This Lent I am fasting from sugar and social media, and I want to tell you that so far, just under two weeks in, it has been wonderful.  Some might say I am a bit of a cheat thought because I do indulge in these two vices on Sundays.  Lent is, after all 40 days and nights EXCLUDING Sundays, because on Sundays we celebrate the risen Christ.  I have been using two really good devotionals to help me remain focused and committed to the fast, the first is called Celtic Lent, 40 days of devotions to Easter by David Cole, and the second is called The 40-day Social Media Fast by Wendy Speake. 

I don't want to lecture you about the benefits of giving up sugar, the benefits are pretty well documented (Wendy Speake has also written a 40-day devotional for quitting sugar), what I will tell you thought is that my once a week indulgence of sugar on Sundays is revealing to me how unpleasant an effect sugar actually has on my body.  I can't deny the biscuits, syrup soaked pancakes, Turkish delight and cake have tasted delicious, but I could really do without the sluggish, jittery, dizzy, headachy spell I get afterwards. So far my Sundays have been especially unproductive (aside from writing this blog post of course which is fuelled by an especially delicious pistachio flavoured Turkish delight!) Housework and planning have gone out the window as I have stumbled round the house, face buried in my phone, wondering where I put my cup of tea and trying to pull myself together enough to do something productive. 

Needless to say I hope to persist with abstaining from sugar after Lent is over and continue to benefit from the reduction in sugar spikes, the clearer head and the genuine energy to do things around the house that fasting from sugar has generated. 

What I really want to talk about is my break from social media, not so much what I have gained from not going on, which has been a great deal including more time for reading and looking my children in the face, but more especially what I am NOT missing out on. 

Before Lent I am ashamed to say that I was likely addicted to social media, it was an excellent distraction and diversion from the stresses of home educating four wild boys, staring at Facebook videos, one after the other in an endless reel was a hypnotising, dopamine stimulating, but cortisol inducing way of escaping from life.  I was like a chain smoker who couldn't resist picking up the next cigarette and lighting up, before I knew it I spent an hour lying in bed watching reel after reel, resulting in an even later night (and tired-er morning) as I lay awake for a further hour, overstimulated and unable to sleep. 

Thankfully, unlike withdrawing from drugs alcohol or cigarettes I have suffered from almost no withdrawal effects. For a few days I was compulsively checking my phone for updates and notifications, I still check my phone for messages but its much less often habitually, and I often go several hours without realising I haven't checked my phone. Now, only 12 days later I am not checking nearly as often. 

What I had come to realise before I made my break from social media is that it is almost wholly toxic and bad for us. 

There are of course some benefits, such as finding out about home education and church events, and being able to ask people for help of different subjects, connecting with other people.  This is of course what sold us all on social media to begin with, connection, but for me, that became a much less used resource than the video reels. So, I'm not saying that social media is all bad, but it had become very unhealthy for me. 

I wasn't just watching reels on Facebook, I was also watching reels on Instagram and twitter and spending significant amounts of time reading posts and comments on Twitter.  Thankfully I have never engaged with Tiktok so have not had to deal with that monster. 

I'd say that Instagram was the least toxic of these, the algorithms generally showed me aspirational posts, home education, homesteading and home making ideas.  With these sorts of posts there is always the risk of comparison, the "grass is always greener on the other side" feeling, but generally speaking there wasn't too much horrific content.  I do sometimes fall victim to felling not-as-good-as the women who seem to have perfect lives, but I have enough sense to know that oftentimes we aren't seeing the full picture.

Facebook also has generally inoffensive algorithms, they were much less relevant to me, funny kitten videos, people falling from things, hyper speed cleaning videos, that sort of thing.

By a long shot Twitter was the most toxic.  There were two main types of post that I was being show, first, posts which would provoke me to anger, such as those with an anti-Christian, anti-woman, anti-child message, and second, posts which would shock, upset or disgust.  The algorithms were wild, showing me things I had never searched for, not would ever want to.  I have seen an awful lot of things on twitter that I wish I had never seen, to give you a flavour, I have seen people who were almost certainly being killed, dead babies, women with severe anorexia, images of self-harm, broken limbs and actual p8rn. What is most worrying is that essentially a child could see these things.  As I said, I never searched for any of this content, it was what Twitter decided to show me.

A friend told me recently that this difference between Instagram and Twitter is more common knowledge than I had thought, apparently a post search for "France" or "French" on Instagram would show pleasant photos of baguettes in bike baskets, the pretty Parisian women in front of the Eiffel tower, beautiful French landscapes, delicious food and of course manicures (at least Instagram knows I am a woman!) whereas an equivalent search on twitter would show posts and photos of angry protests, rioting and posts with a generally negative tone.  I did this search myself and found it to be generally true the only thing they had in common was football (obviously the algorithms don't know me THAT well!) The comments section on Twitter is by far the worst place and where I saw the most disgusting, debased content. 

I haven't been able to manage this very well as an adult, I have found myself feeling deeply disturbed, upset, angry, agitated and repulsed by some of the things I have seen, and I'd like to remind you that I have never searched for any of this content.  I am certain that if I had the wherewithal I might have been able to change settings so that I saw less disturbing content, but my point is, children might be seeing this. Children. 

It is hard enough as an adult with a fully developed brain, to extract myself from the endless scrolling.  The videos and images are so stimulating and provoke such an addictive response in the brain that it can be very hard to put down your phone and step away from it. They are designed to be like this, to keep us coming back. If social media becomes an addiction, UK Addiction Treatment Centres says that:

"An addict [social media] will rely on their device compulsively to satisfy a particular need, dependant on social media to feel balanced and functional.  This is because social media use activates those same reward pathways that are triggered when using an addictive substance, such as drugs or alcohol.

When we spend time on social media platforms, our brain releases small bursts of dopamine, as if to reward us for such a pleasurable activity. Experiencing this neurological response can push us to take part in that behaviour again, using social media to seek instant and constant gratification wherever we are."

If social media is so potentially addictive for an adult imagine how much more so it might be for a child. 

What is more the content itself is potentially harmful.  For example seeing pro-anorexia content has been shown to trigger anorexia in those at risk of or recovering from anorexia. There is also evidence that viewing self-harm increases self-harm, and that watching footage of violence can increase aggression even in children. 

Because of the unfiltered nature of social media, which, unlike television has very little in the way of editing and regulation, the risk of seeing harmful imagery is high unless restrictions are in place. 

You can see therefore that I am really not missing anything positive from being absent from social media, and I am benefitting from missing a great deal of nasty and unpleasant stuff.  One weird thing I have noticed since going media-free has been that I have been so so tired!  I have concluded that prior to lent my brain was essentially running purely on sugar and dopamine hits and hyper stimulation from social media.  The screen would keep me up late at night with its over-stimulating and troubling viewing, and in the morning, I'd be so tired, I'd need a boost of social media, with it's dopamine hits to switch my brain back on.  However because now I am feeling my tiredness, I am going to bed earlier and getting more sleep. 

It's worth mentioning that social media use has been shown to also increase the stress hormone cortisol, according to behavioural health experts:

"Too much time on social media increases stress levels, and levels of the stress hormone cortisol and adrenaline.  The more you engage in doomscrolling, the more cortisol and adrenaline are released in your brain and body.  This leads to more stress and both mental and physical exhaustion."

It has been a great relief for me to extract myself from all this harmful content, as well as the constant diet of dopamine and cortisol in unhealthy and inappropriately timed amounts.  It has freed me to dig into lots of books, has opened my spirit to more prayer and bible study, turned my face and heart towards my children, turn my body towards housework and even start tackling the growing to-do list.  

I'd like to conclude this post by saying that I'll never become addicted to social media again, that I'm going to use my self-control to only use it appropriately, but I am worried that I won't be able to resist the temptation to scroll once Lent is over.  I really don't want to get into those bad habits.  This post will have to be a "to be continued" type of post and we will have to wait and see, though probably I'll be too ashamed to mention it if I do get sucked back in. Please do message me if you have any tricks or tips of staying free from social media.

Have you given up anything for Lent? Have you given up social media or sugar? How are you finding it? Let me know. 

Joyful wardrobe - wearing clothes that bring you joy

 October is here and I've already begun a new joyful focus, but I'm here to reflect on my joyful focus of September with you right now, which was "Joyful Wardrobe". 

As many of you know each year I choose a "word of the year" this years word is "Joyful" and each month I've had a different focus which relates to this word, I've explored all sorts of aspects of joy in my life so far this year from family to my body to home education and more. This months focus probably sounds terribly frivolous, but it's an aspect of my life that was sucking joy before. 

I had found myself in a real rut when it came to clothing.  I had a few items that I loved and I had worn absolutely to death and I had filled in the gaps with hoodies and jogging bottoms.  It was getting to the point where I literally had nothing to wear that didn't have holes or was made from jersey!  I was feeling pretty down about my wardrobe and not really knowing what to do to improve it. Part of the problem related to having been pregnant or breastfeeding for so long, so maternity clothes or clothes adapted or otherwise suitable for breastfeeding have been my mainstay (I'm still breastfeeding so I still had to take this into account) and also just generally feeling unattractive and frumpy in whatever I wore.  I'd pretty much given up hope of looking nice. 

I had no idea what to wear, no idea what I liked, not much in the way of a budget to spend on new stuff and a deep dislike for clothes shopping! 

I really do despise shopping in clothes shops, I don't know what it is about the mirrors or the lighting but I always find myself feeling fat and ugly in shop mirrors, add to this the time pressures (must get back to the car before the ticket runs out, or back home before the baby freaks out or before whoever is looking after them needs relief) size and colour options and I have found myself standing in a shop totally overwhelmed hating life!

Not a good starting point!

But not one to be put off I was determined that I was going to do something about my wardrobe so I began to add to a board I started a few years ago on Pinterest, pinning outfits that I had seen online and liked.  I called this board "finding my style" and it has really helped me to work out what I actually like.  My board now has nearly 300 pins to inspire me in my search for my own fashion tastes and styles.  

I am not the sort of person to follow fashion, I never have.  For one thing I've never really been able to afford it, and for another I'd much rather wear styles that suit my body shape and personality than styles that are on trend.  So if you're thinking that this post might help you be on trend then you'll be disappointed!

If you'd like to take a look at my Pinterest board click HERE

Here are some examples of outfits that I have pinned:

    

Hopefully you get an idea from all that what sort of outfit and style I like.  I'm sure these aren't the height of fashion, but I really don't care, that's not something that's important to me. I just want to feel comfortable really, whilst also not drawing attention to myself as something the cat dragged in!

The next step I took in switching up my wardrobe was to start purchasing items.  Now as I mentioned before, I'm on a tight budget so I knew I couldn't go into actual shops and buy anything like this new, so my search began in the local charity shop.  I had an idea in my mind of what I was looking for and anything that vaguely fitted the bill in the charity shop, I would buy. It didn't matter too much if the items I bought ended up looking terrible or not fitting properly because they only cost me a pound or two, so not great loss, I could donate things back to charity and feel good about it at the end of the day.

Unfortunately however I wasn't always able to find what I was looking for in charity shops.  

Then someone mentioned the website Vinted to me so I decided to take a look and to my joy I was able to find exactly what I was looking for second hand (and sometimes brand new) at a fraction of the cost of the stuff in the shops (most of which I didn't like anyway!)

So this has been a whole new, exciting thing for me! I choose an outfit I pinned on Pinterest, then I look for each item or something similar on Vinted. I've picked up some real bargains, it's been brilliant and I've revamped my whole wardrobe for less than £100.

I will confess to you now that I did make one dirty purchase from Shein (I know, I know) but aside from that and some essentials that you can't but second hand (if you know what I mean) from ASDA, everything I've bought has been second hand either from charity shops or from Vinted or Ebay. 

Honestly it's been like opening up a whole new world of clothing for me and I've really enjoyed it.  Of course I've had some disappointments, where I've got things home from the charity shop and found they don't fit or look ridiculous, and a couple of things from Vinted which were too big or the colours weren't quite as expected, but apart form that it's been great and I highly recommend it.  The other thing that's great about buying second hand is that you can buy branded stuff for much less (you might not care, but I do think that some brands produce better quality clothes than others.  There is a whole lot of fast fashion items on Vinted so you do need to filter thought all that to get to the good stuff) and you can buy better quality materials for much less too.  Second hand wool and leather items are great buys on Vinted especially if you object ethically to buying these materials new.  No harm has been done to an animal by buying second hand wool jumpers or leather boots. I would argue in fact that this is much better for animals that buying plastic shoes and jumpers which will never degrade. 

So all in all my September joyful focus has been a great success, possibly my most successful joyful focus so far and definitely my most enjoyable.  

The best purchase for me was a cardigan that was the same as one I bought about 15 years ago.  It was a cardigan that I loved so much it was full of holes and coming apart.  I had looked a few times on ebay to find a replacement, but I had very little hope with it being over 15 years old.  Then one day to my absolute joy I found one on Vinted, same size and everything.  I can't tell you how happy I felt receiving that cardigan through the post, it was like going back in time and having my old cardigan back but brand new, it was like it hadn't been worn.  I am so pleased with this purchase, I bought another one that I found in a  different colour!  I've also bought a second pair of my favourite jeans. 

So if you feel like your wardrobe isn't bringing you joy I highly recommend this process of pinning styles you like on Pinterest then finding similar things second hand online, it's been a fun and really enjoyable process that I will definitely be carrying with me into the future. 

Here are a few terrible pics of some of my new clothes:

 

 

                        

    

    

Joyful Food - Crafting a diet that's both healthy and joyful

This year my word-of-the-year is "Joyful". Each month I have chosen a joyful focus to inspire me, motivate me, to keep me on track. August's focus has been on food and what we eat.  This focus didn't start abruptly at the beginning of August, it has been a more gradual process over the past few months but August has given me the opportunity to have a moment to think about how it's going, to re-access what is and isn't working.

Over the past few years, young children, and time pressures have meant that I have been turning more and more towards processed and oven ready foods. There has been a lot of media coverage on how harmful ultra processed foods (UPFs) are and it prompted me to re-access our diet and what I have been putting into my, and my children's bodies. What is more, it is clear to me that UPF's are not joyful. Whilst they might taste ok, and fill a hole the burden of additives, preservatives and fake ingredients doesn't kindle joy in my heart in the way a home made slice of cake, a freshly tossed salad with dressing, or a newly baked loaf of bread might.

Please don't get me wrong, I don't believe that our diet has been drastically bad over the years, we haven't been eating all ready meals, fizzy drinks and take-away.  We are all pretty healthy, but there is definitely room for improvement (my husband and I are definitely fatter than is strictly necessary!)

One area I've felt especially guilty about is that of organic food.  I haven't been making much effort to source organic food.  As a child my own mother went to great lengths to buy organic food for us in a time when it was much more difficult to come by and wasn't readily available in the supermarket. I remember spending hours wandering around farm shops in the middle of no-where waiting for my mum to buy her fruits and vegetables, she even set up her own food co-operative from our home, bulk buying organic whole foods like oats, raisins and beans which she split up with a few friends.  She felt like organic food was really important for us and I don't want to undo all her good work on my health throughout my childhood by buying chemical laden food from the supermarket now. 

Considering diet can be a very confusing these days, there are so many different approaches to what we eat, so many people saying their diet plan is the best, most natural, most nutritious, or most healthy one out there and there are often many conflicting studies and contradictory research which supposedly back up the benefits of each one. This makes finding the truth extremely difficult and has led me to rely more on my own instinct and intuition about diet and nutrition than relying on the advice of all the so-called experts and proponents of different diets that are out there. 

For me this has meant organic whole foods, food as nature intended.  

Eating whole foods naturally means cutting out UPF's because a processed food is not a whole food. Whole foods are foods that have not been processed, although I have been processing some of the foods myself at home to make them more enjoyable, making my own bread for example. Home made food feels joyful, not just the simplicity of the ingredients but the heart that has gone into it.

Over the months I have been gradually trying to cut out as much processed food as possible, by making more things myself at home and sourcing organic versions of the things I normally buy. This has had a mixed response from my family!

I have had some successes, making my own bread for example, (I have made my own bread on and off for years, but I really committed to it this time), we are really enjoying a weekly organic veg box, and I have had some failures, (no one liked the home made granola I made) but there have been some downsides too.

For me as a home educating mum, (meaning that I don't get paid for my work and I am very occupied), trying to eat organic wholefoods has been very expensive and time consuming. I have found myself waking up to children clamouring they are starving because I have neglected to make more granola or bread and there is nothing for breakfast, or we have decided to have egg mayonnaise sandwiches for lunch but I haven't made the mayonnaise, or I've simply just not known what to cook.  The whole thing quickly because an overwhelming burden. And that is not joyful.

This whole journey with food has forced me to admit that I can't actually have it all, I can't actually do it all! If my children were in school I would have more time to make all the food myself, if I worked I'd have more money to spend on organic food, but I don't, so, as my online name, Imperfectly Natural Mama reminds me, I'm imperfect, and I can't actually be perfect this side of heaven, I have to live in this middle ground, this half way, working towards perfection but never quite making it and having to accept that. 

I am learning to compromise.  There will still be home made bread but we might not be spreading it with home made organic jam.  I think this is where I can find the joy in my food, eating as much whole, organic foods as possible but not wearing myself to the bone trying to get to it, and perhaps more importantly, letting go of the guilt of not being able to do it all. 

Word of the year for 2023

Well hello there, long time no see!

2022 has, in one word been nuts.  Utterly mad, chaotic and crazy.  I had a baby and that's pretty much all you need to know. 

My word for 2022 was grace.  I was to give myself grace on parenting, art, creativity, home ed, my home, and I did.  Giving myself grace was supposed to mean forgiving myself when I couldn't achieve everything that I wanted to,  grace was supposed to mean forgiving myself when I did not achieve perfection, and it was supposed to mean resting in the moment rather than frantically trying to do everything. Grace did all these things for me, whenever I started feeling like I wasn't doing enough, wasn't good enough I reminded myself that this year I would give myself grace.  2021 was a stinker, bad pregnancy, covid, my husband nearly dying, and numerous hospital visits, slow progress on our house and umpteen other unfortunately events meant I was all out of energy and motivation.  Grace was what a needed for 2022. 

And I did indeed give myself grace, I gave myself grace in abundance, I totally and utterly clocked off from trying, the grace I was giving myself started mean that I became a bit lazy, I started to give myself excuses for doing the things that I should have been, could have been and wanted to be doing. For much of the year grace ended up meaning not trying too hard at anything. And in the end this was not the goal.  

Although I did feel a degree of peace in not putting a lot of pressure on myself to achieve, I have ended up looking back and feeling like the year still very stressful and chaotic and I've ended up feeling a little bit disappointed with myself, and and that's not a nice feeling.

It was back in November that I realised the word I needed for 2023.  It had been in my mind since my baby was born at the end of December 2021.  Joyful.  He was born at home about 20 minutes before the paramedics and midwives arrived, just me and my husband and it was perfect.  When he was born I felt the most exquisite joy wash over me and I began to laugh! His name means joyful. 

Unfortunately thinks went bad after that, and joy wasn't something I could access for quite a while.  

But I am so ready for joyful in 2023, and I'm excited to find out how I can make all aspects of my life joyful.  I'm going to explore joyful eating, joyful dressing, joyful home school, joyful marriage and joyful parenting to name just a few.  

As I prepare for the year ahead I have been turning to the Bible to inform how joyfulness can influence my year and there are two things that strike me most.  First, joy comes from Christ and second joy in not dependant on circumstances. I will talk more about this in the year, but those two factors are going to be infused into every aspect of my word of the year and I'm really excited to experience the year unfolding with joy at the heart. 

Do you have a word of the year?  I'd love to hear what it is a why.  

So What Do You Actually Do All Day?

Home education has been on the public radar quite a lot over the past two years with parents across the country being plunged head first into trying to educate their children from home back in March 2020.  Many parents found this experience excruciating and couldn’t wait for schools to re-open, still others loved in and decided to embark on home educating their children full time.  I had a really hard time during lock down in spite of regularly being told that nothing much must have changed for me.  Clearly there was a pre-conceived idea that home education took place entirely in the home in isolation from the wider world.  This could not be further from the truth and I struggled so much not being able to attend our groups, see friend and visit museums, libraries and other educational places.  These were a huge part of my educational provision, just being home all day everyday was not part of the plan!

Two years on and many families have decided to continue home educating their children; as a result, numbers have risen and the government are starting to get concerned.  They don’t really want children being home educated because that means one parent not working (at least not full time) and therefore contributing less tax revenue than that of a full time working parent. I think the government would also prefer every British citizen to have the same educational experience as each other (except for the rich ones of course), it doesn’t really want too many free thinkers walking about.  So, in a small part as a result of the rise in numbers of home educating families over the last two years, the government have pressed on with their plan to introduce a home education register, along with their “schools bill” which all parents should be concerned about, home educating or otherwise. There is a lot of information on the internet about it, so I won’t harp on here, but needless to say the government’s claims that they will “level up standards” and be providing educational “excellence” are pretty laughable. 

The Government claim that there are children “under the radar”; parents who are keeping their children locked up at home, neglected, with no socialisation and likely abuse under the guise of “home education, or else are indoctrinating children with illegal schools.  The Government claim that a register will make sure that no children are missed (won’t those parents abusing their children just not sign the register seeing as they are already doing something illegal?!)  in spite of the fact that every single child who was abused under the guise of home education were already know to local authorities.   It seems to me a lot of parents, even those in the home ed community think the Governments plan is a good idea, “if it saves just one child from abuse it’s worth it” they say “nothing to hide, nothing to fear” they say.  But the reality is that sadly it won’t save any children from abuse.  More children are abused in school than in home education.  It’s never really about the children.

Maybe because of lockdown and how parents were forced into home learning in isolation, there are a lot of misconceptions about home education, and the image of all children sat at the kitchen table receiving drills in maths an English, churning out a generation of, at best, maladjusted weirdos, and at worst illiterate criminals, continues to permeate the minds of the general public. This perception was further ingrained after the lockdown as parents assumed what they were doing at home with their schooled children was the same as what we were doing with our home educated children (all at home, not going out, not seeing anyone).  And that, as I have said, couldn’t be further from the truth. 

One question I get asked a lot is “so what do you actually do?”.  So I thought I would take this opportunity to dispel some myths and to give an insight into our daily life.  This is in part inspired by a friend of mine who did the same recently on Facebook (so thanks for that Amy).  I’ll tell you what the average week looks like, but I will also tell you about some of the interactions and spontaneous learning opportunities that take place that simply cannot be substantiated. 

I dislike the use of the word routine and lean more towards rhythm in describing our days,  routine feels strict and unbending, but our rhythms change and move and flow with the seasons, the moods and the weather.  So please see this as less of a timetable of events and more of a flow of predictable rituals, traditions and habits interspersed with spontaneous learning opportunities, space for exploration, play and time with friends.

We begin each day at the dining table with breakfast and a story.  At the moment I am reading Bible stories to the children from a big old Hamlyn Children’s Bible with lots of colourful illustrations.  I like this book as it sounds a bit more like the Bible than some other children’s editions, so prepares their minds a little bit for the style of writing in the Bible.  I read a few chapters then summarise what has been read at the end and ask the children to narrate what they remembered.  After this we do a morning devotional.  At the moment this is “Our 24 Family Ways” by Clay Clarkson.  A devotional is usually something a bit like a discussion or Bible study around a certain topic.  This devotional is about character and values.  It begins with some thought provoking questions, followed by a bible verse, some discussion questions surrounding the verse and then a prayer.  After this we read some poetry.  Currently we are reading from Collins “Treasury of Poetry” illustrated by Hilda Boswell. I love Hilda Boswells illustrations and I also have “A Child’s Garden of Verses” illustrated by her. We discuss the poems as we go. 

Once the boys are dressed and teeth brushed and chores done (I will do another blog post about chores soon)  we usually sit down to do some Maths and English.  For Maths we are following the curriculum “Maths no Problem”.  Maths is my weak area so I feel much more confident using a curriculum which I know will take the boys through everything they need to know for Maths.  I like Maths no Problem as it uses The Singapore Maths approach, but also the traditional approach which I learnt at school, so it given children different ways of working things out.  I wouldn’t say this is necessarily the best Maths curriculum out there, but it is good value for money. For English we use workbooks for reading, spelling, punctuation and handwriting, the skills they need to decipher and understand texts and to write their own.  But they are free to do their own writing whenever they want, both hand written and typed on the computer, story and letter writing happens fairly regularly, on its own in our house.  On an average day this rhythm takes most of the morning.

We do a variety of things in the afternoons, at the moment on Mondays our afternoons are free so we usually do some work on our current topics.  Often this is listening to a story which we might do round the table with a cup of tea, sat on the sofa with biscuits, on a picnic bench in the garden or even on the trampoline!  Currently we are reading about Alexander the Great. We also do crafts, art,  baking, or science experiments in this time, then the boys play.   In the evening my two eldest go to Cubs.

On Tuesdays, after our usual morning rhythms, I take my eldest to drama, one of the home ed mums is putting on a performance of Mary Poppins 2.  While he is there I take my other three boys to a park and we usually do a nature walk.  After I collect my eldest from drama we go home and do stories, then the boys are free to play outside or with their friends or our neighbours.  In the evening all three boys do Jujitsu class.

Wednesday afternoons are a meet with a group of our Christian Home education friends in the afternoon.  We usually do some sort of activity or social.  On Wednesday evening my 6 year old goes to Beavers.

Thursdays are another free day. The afternoons are often spent with friends or doing activities at home.

Fridays are a social day, we do nature group in the morning, always with a different topic, usually following the “Exploring Nature with Children” curriculum.  This involves a walk in nature, be that a meadow, field or pond, a story and sometimes an activity.  We do this with a group of friends.  In the afternoon we do park meet with a big group of home educators from all over the Forest.  Friday evenings are a treat night, so the boys have a snack and dinner on the sofa whilst watching a film.

This is the general rhythm of our week, but what you don’t see from this description are the many spontaneous activities that take place.  The comic book strip writing, the engineering structures in the garden, the team work, the podcast one of them wants to make, the random questions that require an exploration in an encyclopaedia,  the board game playing, the spontaneous piano lesson, or French lesson on Duo Lingo, the story writing, the YouTube video inspired by something we read in a book, the lego building, the coding session, the stop motion animation, the nature walks, the excursions to castles, museums, libraries and shops,  the list goes on.  All these things happen spontaneously and without them being timetabled or planned in.  Making sure there is plenty of free time allows for this sort of exploration and genuine learning experiences.

We are very flexible with our week, we do not do Maths and English every day if there is a day out planned, or perhaps, some days things are just different, maybe we slept in one day because we were late to bed after staying late with a friend the previous day, or maybe the mood just isn’t right for table work and we decide to do some baking or painting instead.  I don’t like to be too strict with our days.  I like to present my children with new ideas and experiences as much as possible to allow their brains to think and grow.

So that is our life at the moment, it changes and flows throughout the year as different groups or classes start or end and the seasons roll on, it’s working well for us and is unique to our family, but might not be right for another family. Some families will do fewer groups, be home more, others will have online classes and group lessons and be at home even less. That is the beauty of home education, it is tailored, personalised and unique to each family. 

Most importantly we are doing life together, learning to love and care for each other, to be responsible, to be kind and make life good as a family.  We see the good and the bad together and work through big feelings.  We don’t live a complicate life and I try not to be too busy, I like to be calm and have as little stress as possible.

I hope this dispels any myths you may have and satisfies your curiosities, I hope it gives an understanding of what home ed life might be like, not to persuade you to make your life like mine but to gain understanding, because with understanding come acceptance.

So you're thinking about home educating?

(This post includes affiliate links)

Hi friends.
As we approach the summer holidays I am getting word that many parents who have been doing lockdown schooling/distance learning at home with their children are considering taking the leap and opting out of the school system and home educating for real.  How exciting!  I thought I'd put together a little blog post to help parents with the decision making process of whether to choose full time home education or not as there is a good deal to consider before making the change.

The last three months have been a very strange time, parents have been plunged into a home schooling situation with no previous experience, time to read and research or organise resources.  I hugely admire the hard work you have all done with your children, it must have been a huge and unexpected challenge and one that I do not envy.  I spent many years reading and researching before embarking on home education but you have all done superbly with only a few days notice, it really is remarkable, even more so those parents who have been tying to work from home at the same time, phew!  I don't now how you have done it, home educating your children is a full time job!

Of course actual home education is a little different from what you all have been doing, so here are a couple of things to ponder:

Do you like spending time with your children?

When you opt to home educate you are opting to spend a large amount of your time with your children.  Home educating usually calls for some sort of personal sacrifice.  It is not possible to do an out-of-the-home Monday to Friday 9-5 job if you are home educating your children, (so it is likely you will have a drop in income as well) You will not have your children's teachers popping onto your laptop screen for hours of teaching each day, you will be their main teacher.  You may decide to send your children to some groups and private part time schools for part of the week, and do some online learning, but you will still be spending the bulk of your time with them so it is important that you enjoy their company most of the time.  There will of course be times when your children drive you insane, it's not going to be perfect all the time, but if you really find spending time with your children tedious then home education probably isn't for you.  It's a big commitment and not something you can always undo very easily, they may lose their place in their school and be behind on the school curriculum if you decide they should go back, remember that they will likely be with you when you need to pop to the shops, visit friends, and even to the Doctors!  These can all be learning experiences, but having your children with you does change the way you run errands and do your chores.
Educating your children though school makes life easier in so many ways, they are exposed to many different learning and social experiences through school and it is important that we fulfill these essential experiences through our home education.  Unlike lockdown schooling/distance learning, where we have been stuck in our homes not seeing anyone, you will have to take responsibility for providing opportunities for your children to interact socially. Of course there will be everyday interactions with other adults, at the library, the shops, church and the leisure centre for example and family get togethers, and you may continue sending your children to after school activities such as Scouts, sports groups and holiday clubs.  But you will also probably want to seek out other home educators and groups where your child can get to know other home educated children.

What will it be like to home educate when school aren't sending you all the lessons and resources?

Once you fully opt out of the school system you are on your own.  This is both wonderfully freeing and terrifying in equal measure!  The local authority do not offer much in the way of advice on where to go for resources (nothing you can't get from a Facebook group or knowledgeable home-ed parent anyway) or how to begin planning your own curriculum and schemes of work, there is no set curriculum you must follow, no targets set, no deadlines to meet. The world is your oyster, but when the options are endless we can become paralysed by choice. How will you approach home education now you are not constrained by the national curriculum? There are many theories of education that you can opt or buy into which range from buying a big box curriculum to un-schooling with no plans or curriculum at all. There are free curriculum, expensive curriculum, ones with testing, ones without, online plans, free websites and those with subscriptions.  It is worth having a good old think about how you will approach home education now that you are free. Here are a few popular approaches that you might consider:

Unschooling - https://happinessishereblog.com/what-is-unschooling/
Charlotte Mason - https://www.amblesideonline.org/WhatIsCM.shtml
Semi-structured - https://educationalfreedom.org.uk/school-at-home/
Classical - https://www.design-your-homeschool.com/classical-home-schooling.html
Montessori - https://fearlesshomeschool.com/montessori-homeschool/
Waldorf/Steiner - http://www.ahomeeducation.co.uk/home-education-steiner.html
Eclectic - https://www.homeschool.com/homeschooling-methods/#relaxed-eclectic-homeschooling

This is not an exhaustive list but will give you an idea of some of the ways other home educators approach their children's education.  I have tried to direct you to resources that do not require you to invest huge amounts of money on educating your children, as this simply isn't necessary.  A big box curriculum may make you feel secure and take away decision making but it is not essential to successful home schooling.

So there are a couple of aspects to consider in the next few weeks if you think home ed might be for you.  If you decide it is (and your child is registered with a school) then all you need to do is send your school a letter declaring your intention to home educate and requesting them to remove your child's name from the school roll.  That's it! Then you are free!  Over the next few weeks I will do some more posts on home education to help new home educators with the decision making and options.  In the mean time you might like to take a look at some of these books that could help you on your journey.  These include my affiliate links.