Romancing the Soul

A while ago I read a book called "Captivating" by Stasi and John Eldridge (I highly recommend it for any women who want to know themselves better and any men who want to know their wives better), it's a book the really resonated with me and helped me go deeper into my relationship with myself and with God.

In the book the authors talk about how Jesus romances us. Now that's a funny concept isn't it, we often don't see Jesus as someone who would be trying to allure us and bring us to him.  I don't know about you but I have sometimes felt like he is quite a distant figure, someone we should be trying to emulate, but far too perfect to get near to, but it's true; Jesus wants a personal relationship with us and just like a good potential husband, doesn't force us into that relationship but intimately and gently and gloriously woos us.

I had forgotten all about this part of the book until a friend enthusiastically reminded me of it recently, she explained how she had seen some beautiful Autumn leaves and she thought about Jesus alluring her to him with their exquisite colours and textures, drawing her eye to their beauty.

The idea is that Jesus gives us all sorts of gifts as a way to bring us to him, to romance us, just in the same way as when you are dating someone and they bring you flowers and jewellery or chocolates, little things to let you know you are special and that they care a lot about you and that you deserve beautiful, lovely things.  These dates might become marriages and (in my opinion) good husband will continue the romance throughout your lives together by surprising you with little things he knows you like, not always a physical a gift, sometimes an extra long hug, or doing something nice together or just doing the dishes. Jesus is just the same.  Just as a peacock shows off his beautiful feathers to attract the peahens, so Jesus shows us his beautiful creation to attract us to him. He wants us to know him and draws attention to himself all the time in the beauty of nature and in little every day surprise moments. Once you have found that relationship Jesus doesn't stop romancing us. He keeps reminding us daily how special we are to him, that he thinks about us and that he want's us to love him as much as he loves us.

It was on my morning jog that this idea was fully brought to life for me today.  The Autumn leaves covered the footpath ahead of me like a beautiful seasonal collage, and the light shining in the trees illuminating them from behind like a canopy of  stained glass, lit up the footpath.  I was enchanted and suddenly had the thought to thank Jesus for this beautiful sight that he had given me.  Seeing my enthusiasm for his gift, the presents continued!  The footpath opened out into a grassy area that sloped uphill away from me, and I had to pause to admire the glory of the scene for longer.  The dew on the grass glittered and hundreds of spider webs sparkled in the sunlight creating a blanket of delicately shining jewels and silvery lace.  It almost looked like frost.  Ahead of me, another gift, the sight of a Jay hopping about in the grass.  Jay's always make me think of my Nanny, as she once gave me a beautiful turquoise and black jay's feather that she had found in the garden and saved for me. A delightful memory to fill my heart with joy. I continued on round the lake, enjoying the warmth of the Autumn sun and the beauty of the light and trees.  As I began to head home someone walked past me who must have recently been smoking a cigarette.  You might be surprised to hear that I enjoyed the smell!  There seems to be one or two brands that remind me of the brand my Granddad smoked and I was instantly transported to my Granddad's breakfast room where he would sit puffing away and I, as a young girl, would curl the smoke around my fingers as it gently rose from the end of the cigarette.  Another fond memory, a gift that Jesus knew I would enjoy.

As I approached home I noticed a beautiful little snail with a yellowy shell and pink skin crossing my path ahead, it shell was almost translucent, I stopped and picked it up, moving it to the safety of the leafy verge.  An opportunity for me to show kindness to another earthly being.

Later my husband spotted an old wasps nest in the bushes near our house. We retrieved it to dry out and look at later.  How special I felt that WE were the ones who found the wasps nest waiting there in the bushes, we will have the privilege of admiring it's intricate structure and papery layers. God fills our world with beautiful things to romance us and bring us close to him.

So, how has Jesus been romancing you recently?  Have you noticed it?

Try to take note of the little gifts he brings in the week ahead and know he is trying to get your attention and bring you close to him. He is a generous a loving God who knows you intimately and loves surprising you with little gifts that will make you smile and remind you of his love for you.

Where are all the Titus 2 women?

Hey friends,  my mind has been buzzing recently with lots of "ah ha" moments on mothering, homemaking (did I just say homemaking?!), and being a wife, I really want to share it all with you but it's a massive jumble at the moment so it's going to have to wait till my brain manages to untangle it all and get it into some sort of legible order!

 I am currently reading a book called "Desperate"  by Sally Clarkson and Sarah Mae and I have so far found it to be a massive blessing on my life at the moment and it is part of the catalyst that has been sparking so many connections in my mind recently, I highly recommend it. 

One thought that is really sticking out to me at the moment which is touched on in the book, is how mothers with young children are so alone.  There is no community of older women there to give help and advice to younger women on their mothering, homemaking or how to be a good wife, we are totally isolated in our homes and lives without any strong mother-teacher communities or wise women councillor groups, Christian and non-Christian mothers alike.

I could read books till I go cross eyed on a million different parenting techniques but very few of these really offer the wisdom of women who have successfully ridden out the journey of motherhood and come out the other end with good marriages, successful, happy children and their mind still in tact, (half of them aren't even written by mothers).  I could pin a thousand pins on Pinterest on how to be a great homemaker but I am yet to see an older woman in her beautiful home telling me how she did it.  As for marriage advice and how to be a good wife you can pretty much forget about it, it's sink or swim with just the poisonous and insidious message that we must feel perpetually in-love or else our marriage is a failure! Even the phrase "a good wife" feels like a dirty word, so where on earth are the older wise women to help us sustain our marriages and bring our husbands joy?

I feel like my generation needs a circle of wise, older women to rise up and guide us mothers in our various roles. Most of us have no one at all to guide us.  We really need more Titus 2 older women to help us through these challenging years:

"By looking at them [wise older women], the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives." Titus 2 (The Message)

Where are all the Titus 2 wise women? Us mums of young children are all floundering about patching together an idea of how to parent from different blogs and vlogs, and books (oh my) It's a scary and dangerous place to be, slipping into depression is a very real experience of many mothers of young children, not to mention marriage problems, both of which can be exacerbated by difficulties in keeping the house in a reasonable state (I know for sure that I feel in a much better mood on the rare occasion my house is in order).

 I don't know what has happened to society that has caused this missing link between older mothers and younger mothers.  Maybe it is because people move around more, or maybe because we are all forced to work more hours, days, years, maybe they have received some sort of message from society that they are not needed, their wisdom has been replaced by the internet?  I don't know what it is, but I am shouting out to you older wise women, you are needed!

So I am putting it out there now in word and prayer that we need some Titus 2 women.  As I pray this prayer I feel slightly hesitant and a bit cautious because there is something very particular and specific that full time mothers of young children need from their wise older women, and some very specific things that we really do not need.  I think it's important to be clear here otherwise we could end up in a worse position that we are currently in.  Better no word at all than a harmful one am I right?

"There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts.  But the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18 (NIV)

We need a group of older women who are willing to LISTEN to how we feel, really listen, without judgement and without criticism, with understanding and compassion. We need you to really hear our feelings and not dismiss them as silly, trivial or selfish.

We need a group of women who are able to EMPATHISE on how hard it is, to mirror back to us that we are not failures as mothers, wives and homemakers, but in fact it is a hard job, and a season that will pass, and we can believe you and know your words are not just token gestures because you have been there yourselves and you remember.

What we need is a group of older women who we can really trust and who are willing to look after our children for short periods of time so that we can get on with some housework, have time with our husbands and have some time of solitude.  Or who can offer other forms of practical help when we need it.

We need you to gracefully and tactfully give us your wisdom and advice on mothering, homemaking and being a good wife, not in the form of over simplified lists of dos and don'ts which will inevitably make us feel like failures for not finding it easy ourselves.  Motherhood can't be bullet pointed, action planned or explained in 7 easy steps, each mother is unique, each family situation, home, marriage, there is no one size fits all, we need real, deep and meaningful wisdom that transcends the meal plans and the naughty-step type advice, real heart felt, ancient, Biblical, Christ centered wisdom. We need women who are going to tell us how important our role is as opposed to the message society sends which is that our role is immaterial. We need to be constantly reminded in fact that our job is the most important of all jobs, so that we can feel worthy, and secure in our identity as full time mothers rather than feeling like we lost our identity the day we became one.

And perhaps most importantly of all we need a group of older wise women who are able to form a circle or prayer around us. Who will pray with us and for us, for our children and for our husbands regularly and with heart, not sporadically out of pity, but regularly because you know us and respect us.

One last word, please, please wise women (and anyone else reading!) don't tell us to enjoy them while they're young and that the time goes so fast.  If one more person tells me this I might just lose the plot altogether! Let me reassure you that we are trying our very best to enjoy them and we are well aware that time is slipping through our fingers at break-necking speed, we have a powerfully visual image of the passing of time in the very presence of our children who grow and change so palpably that we can almost see it on a daily basis. To be told we should be enjoying our children more when we are on our knees, in the trenches, just trying to get through the day is like a slap in the face.  I am sure you have good intentions when you say this but it is harmful and unhelpful.  So please, don't.

I don't want to end on a negative note so I will leave you with this beautiful quote from one of Sally Clarkson's other books, and wait in hopeful expectation for a circle of wise women to rise up around me.  Or perhaps what I am learning from this experience is that I must become a wise woman myself and play out this missing role in society for the benefit of future mothers.

The Power of Positive (and Negative) Thinking

A little while ago I was doing my usual jog round the lake, I was doing a good pace, about normal, I wasn't puffed out or aching in any way, it was an average jog I felt ok, until for some reason in my head I began replaying a conversation I had with another mum several years ago.  I don't know why this conversation came to mind but I was replaying it back in my head word-for-word.

The conversation was about childbirth.  I was describing the experience of giving birth to my first child.  It wasn't a particular positive experience for me and I remember clearly saying in my head to myself as I was jogging along "I was so scared", recalling the experience.  At that exact moment, for no reason that I could explain I stopped running.

I wasn't tired, out of breath, in pain, but the power of that negative phrase quite literally stopped me in my tracks.

This led me to think about how powerful a negative inner voice can be and how mindful we have to be of it.  It was also a powerful reminder of the importance of using our positive inner voice.

If that one negative phrase could be so powerful so as to stop me from running think how powerful positive phrases and affirmations could be in our everyday lives.

It's no secret I am  a fan of positive affirmations, I love writing affirmations for all sorts of people and scenarios, I love sticking them round the house and keeping them in my purse, they help me to keep a positive inner voice.

In my Etsy shop I have several series of affirmation cards available for digital download, but I have also put together an exclusive set of affirmation cards just for new subscribers to my mailing list.

You can print them off and use them round your house, or gift them to friends or family, place them somewhere that you'll see them every day.

You can subscribe right here and receive a link to these downloadable affirmation cards immediately. You'll also receive notifications of new blog posts, newsletters, giveaways and updates.

As for me and my thrice weekly jogs, I am focusing hard on positive thoughts to keep me running and I haven't stopped so far.

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50 Days of Summer

Today marks the first day of 50 days (give or take) till then end of the summer holidays and the beginning of the September school term.

I love a challenge so I am using these days to challenge myself in a number of ways.

I am going to set myself several challenges that I will go over the 50 days.

I am not going to beat myself up is I miss a day or two, I haven't failed if I don't do the things I say I am going to do EVERY DAY.  But I will be aiming to make positive changes to make life better over the next 50 days.

Will you join me?

Here are some of the things I am challenging myself to do:

Eat nourishing foods 80% of the time.

Do a daily Bible study (I am using Day by Day with God),

Write down 3 gratitudes daily,

Pray daily (I sometimes forget!!)

Read to the children every day,

Post on Instagram every day for my business,

Get outdoors every day,

Maybe the most important one:

Go to bed before 12PM 5 nights out of 7, (I was thinking of calling this the "go to sleep challenge"!)

I might add more to this as the days go by, but I am excited to do something to motivate myself and discipline myself to commit to this, hopefully these will become habits that I will continue into the Autumn term and perhaps the rest of the year (or life?)

Creating good habits is the theme of an article I am writing for a new Home Ed Journal that began publication last month.  You can still buy the July edition where you can find my article on how to support other parents (and yourself) to be a better parent.

Check it out HERE for both a print and digital copy.

I hear you mama

I am a very lucky lady in the sense that I very rarely feel lonely.  I have a good network of friends, other mothers and home ed groups so I am often surrounded by other people and when I am not I enjoy my own company and the company of my children. Loneliness and isolation are not feelings I often experience in my day to day life.

Unfortunately this morning I felt these things in the place you really aren't supposed to.  Church.

Going to church with very young children has a lot of challenges.  In the church I attend there isn't any childcare provision for under 3's. If you have an under 3 you have the option of staying in the service or sitting in the small chapel at the back of the church where some toys are provided and the sermon is wired through so you can hear it.   For this reason I usually leave my littlest boy at home with his daddy on a Sunday so I can enjoy the service with the rest of the congregation and my two older children go off to junior church, I normally have a wonderful time.

When I bring my littlest one I prefer to stay in the service as I find it difficult to hear the sermon and join in with the singing etc from the chapel at the back. However this means I have to be towed round the church by the finger by my 1-and-a-half-year-old, whilst he explores every nook and cranny chattering to himself and making demands of me to go this way or that (a little bit embarrassing and uncomfortable to say the least although I know no one really minds). As I am sure you can imagine this is not very conducive to a spiritual experience.  As it happened, this particular morning I was sat in the chapel at the back with my little one when the minister invited the congregation to pair up with a neighbour and discuss their experience of the holy spirit.  I sat in the chapel, on my own. I felt forgotten and unheard. I felt like my voice, my opinion, my experience, as a mother didn't matter, wasn't important.  No one else was there to hear my experience. I had no neighbour.

Now I love my church, it has been an incredibly welcoming place and I know this wasn't intentional and maybe on any other day this wouldn't have happened, there are often other parents in the chapel, but on this day there wasn't.  I felt lonely and unheard and unseen.

Next the minister went on to pray and asked the congregation if they could close their eyes and raise their hand if they wanted to receive the holy spirit for the first time, or anew.  I sat looking out of the chapel's glass doors whist putting together a farmyard puzzle with my boy feeling very far from the Holy Spirit. I felt like I was on another planet to everyone else there.  Whilst everyone else was on planet holy, I was on planet mother.

("blessed are the weak in spirit for theirs in the kingdom of God" right?)

Now this isn't a blog post about how church should be doing more for mothers or about how motherhood isn't as revered or elevated in church as much as it should be.  I could write a blog post about that, but this one isn't it.  There is good news  (Isn't there always when it comes to Christianity?!).

I was eventually towed out of the chapel and back to the general area of our seat where I was pleased to be able to take part in the final hymn.  It was a special hymn to me called "How Great Thou Art".  The words are magnificent and the melody very moving and it was played at my wedding.
(Incidentally "Guide Me Oh Thou Great Redeemer" was a hymn sung at our wedding and was sung at the wedding of Harry and Meghan yesterday, I just need to hear "Shine Jesus Shine" tomorrow for a full house!)

I started singing and belting out this fabulous old song and was completely uplifted, it brought tears to my eyes and I was struck with the message that I am not alone.  I realised that I am not unheard, I am not unseen, I have not been forgotten.
Because even when it feels like I am invisible to everyone around me God sees me, God hears me, and God is with me, right here is the misery and majesty of motherhood.

He saw me yesterday as I cleared up a spilled drink for the third time that day, He saw me the day before that when I fell asleep on the sofa out of sheer exhaustion whilst trying to read my children a story.  He saw me the day before that when I sat crying on the sofa because one of my children had moved and subsequently lost the back door keys moments before we needed to leave the house.  And He saw me the day before that and the day before that and the day before that.  And he saw me today being towed round church trying in vain to listen to the sermon, he saw me sitting with my baby as company whilst everyone else was in prayer, He saw me changing a nappy in the toilets whilst everyone else worshipped.

And do you know what mama?  He sees you too.

You may not even believe it, but it's true.  He sees you and He hears you and He loves you and He is with you and He has not forgotten you.  And I really think He wants you to know he is by your side all the time, He feels every pain, heartache and struggle you go through, you are not alone, you are not forgotten.  Even in the depths of loneliness, in the deepest trenches He is in the mud with us.  Motherhood bring us to our knees and He is there right next to us holding our hand and wanting us to know that all this is worth something.  When you have reached rock bottom and it feels like there is no way back up, when you are at your lowest low, when you feel totally alone, He is there, telling you to "hang in there mama" and "you've got this" and "I hear you" except it is so much more important and meaningful and 100% true from him, not just empty sentiments, but real true encouragement.

And you know what else, He can help us.  If we ask Him He will help us up from that trench.  He will take your hand and lift you back up into the light.  Just ask. God is like the ultimate listening partnership.  He listens and listens and listens and won't try to fix your problems or give you unsolicited advice or tell you it's all your own fault because of such-and-such a reason, or tell you about this one time when He had a really bad day (remember THAT day?!), but if you ask Him He will help you and he will speak to you, just be quiet and listen back.

He sees you, He hears you, He has not forgotten you, you are not alone.

A Wonderful Day

A few weeks ago I ran The 2018 Gentle Parenting Retreat, it was a great success, and I really want to tell you about it and celebrate with you and those who attended with photos from the day and some ideas to extend the workshops.

Here was the premise:

We began the retreat with a little get to know you session, I asked each mama to write a question on a slip of paper to put in a basket and pull out one at a time, we had some really great questions including who would you invite to your fantasy supper? What is your favorite building? And Name an event in your live that changed you for the better.  We didn't manage to answer all the questions so saved them for use later, but it was really great to find out more about everyone there and help them to relax and get to know each other better.

We then moved into the room that we were using as a studio and began our creative session with a guided meditation.  I wrote the meditation myself based on the guided meditation in "The Rainbow Way" By Lucy H. Pearce. The meditation invited the mamas on a journey to their own inner sacred creative space where they could feel safe to express their creativity.  After the meditation we began the storytelling art piece I had planned.  This piece was based on an exercise created by The Dulwich Centre, designed to help vulnerable young people, and is now a process used around the world. I was also inspired by the words of Nathan B. Weller when I was writing my narrative for the guided piece.   The point of this exercise was to help us to focus on different aspects of our life, how we spend our time, where we have come from, our skills, dreams, hopes and the legacy we intend to leave behind us when we're gone.  All these make up our story.  When I was planning the activity at home it helped me realise what is important in my life and where I need to focus my attention to make the most of my life.  It also helped me realise what I have to give, and how little of my energy I positively spend working on the things I want to be my legacy.

We tried to maintain the meditative feel in the room and in our own head spaces whilst I read the instructions I had written for the art piece.
When the drawing and writing part of the process was complete we opened up the space for more conversation and we added colour with chalk pastels to our Tree of Life pictures.  I chose chalk pastels because their colour is so pure and vivid. We filled in our trees with the colour to transform the piece from an illustration of a process into a piece of art that is visually appealing, inspiring and uplifting.

After the art pieces were finished I closed the session by reading a poem called "Advice from a tree" by Ilan Shamir.

Beautiful finished pieces:

Aren't they beautiful, and all so different and colourful.

We then enjoyed a yummy vegan lunch and began the afternoon session run by my good friend Vicki Clubley-Moore which was a vision board workshop.  She gave us a beautiful guided meditation followed by some journaling prompts and the workshop for making the vision boards. It was a really inspiring workshop and helped me gain more focus on what I want my life to look like.

It was a really great day, so lovely to chat with the like-minded mamas who attended and I am so grateful to them for committing to their own self care and trusting in me to provide a good day for them.  I am so thankful to each and every one of them for their beautiful contributions to the day, and look forward to running another day in the future.

For the mamas to came to the retreat (and anyone else who has completed the Tree Of Life exercise, here are a few activities to take the experience further:

Journaling:
You may have done some journaling about this already as you completed your drawing of the tree, but you can add to this after by way of reflection.  From writing about where you have come from you might need to journal a bit about how your upbringing has influenced you now both positively and negatively, you could consider how negative experiences have informed your life in positive ways. As you wrote down the things you do daily you might have noticed that there aren't many things you do just for yourself each day, you might like to journal about what ways you can include more things in your day that nourish you.  When considering your skills you might want to write about what skills you want to develop or new skills you would like to learn. As you reflect on your values, you might like to journal about how you are instilling these values in you children and link this to your legacy.  When reflecting on your hopes and dreams consider ways in which you can achieve them.  You might have had thought of things you want to do to achieve the legacies that you wrote down; things to enable you to leave behind the things you want to pass on. You can journal and list these and form goals and schedules for you to achieve them.

Letter Writing:
You might like to consider writing letters to those people in your life who have passed on legacies to you.  You could thank them for what they have done and let them know how important they are to you.  You could also consider writing letters to your children telling them about the legacies you wish to leave them (something for them to read in the future).

Art extensions:
You may have found yourself particularly inspired by the use of chalk pastels in this activity and would like to experiment with them further, here are some random time lapse videos on youtube to give you some ideas and inspiration:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdyS4uDuK3k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbgPQNRcJ6c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTzonXPclks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0qYTXLb90o

Also take a look at Pinterest HERE for more chalk pastel inspiration.

You might have felt inspired by the idea of trees and like to explore this further a google or Pinterest search will provide you with an abundance of inspiration and ideas.  For example you could experiment with creating a blow paint tree like THIS, a hot glue gun tree like THIS, you could also explore wax crayon rubbings of the bark or leaves of the tree.
Another avenue you might like to explore in meditative art and healing art therapy.

Happy Mothers Day

My mother is pretty awesome.

It's really only since I have been a mother myself that I have gained an insight into exactly how awesome my own mother is.

I have always been thankful for everything she has given me, my ethics, my faith, my passion for the environment, my resilience, my self-confidence, and everything else that I am because of her.  

She would take us to local farm shops to buy us fresh organic vegetables.  She set up a wholefoods co-operative from her home so we could eat the best food she could get hold of.  My mum always put us first paying for dance lessons, gymnastics, instrument lessons, and all the clubs and groups you could imagine, driving us here there and everywhere for lessons, exams and shows because she wanted us to have as many experiences as possible.  She took us to church every week, nurturing our faith and helping us to become part of the family of Christ.  When I suffered terribly with eczema she explored every alternative therapy possible and paid for Chiropractor visits when I suffered from back pain. My mum always encouraged me to give things a try and always do my best.  She always encouraged me in school, helping me through my tears with late night maths homework, reading through my endless stories and marveling at my drawings and painting.  She can knit, sew, do macrame, cross stitch, she made all my dance costumes, she is basically the embodiment of a supermum.

My mum was the ultimate imperfectly natural mama,  She was always makeup free, never ashamed of her body hair, wasn't one for deodorant of perfume and thriftily bought almost all her clothes from charity shops, she also breastfed all of us and cooked virtually all our meals from scratch (including an array of puddings most nights if memory serves me correctly).  She grew her own veg on her allotment, baked her own bread and dreamed of living a self sufficient life, with bookshelves filled with gardening books, recipe books and John Seymour self sufficiency guides. She was a full time mum but if never occurred to me to think I couldn't be anything I ever wanted.

Even now my mum continues to inspire me, she hasn't stopped or slowed down like some parents her age, she still works, volunteers, makes, and continues to learn new skills and gain more knowledge in all aspects of life. 

It is only since becoming a mother myself I can look back in awe at my mum, a mum of four, who would take us all round the supermarket and not lose her shit.  I do all my shopping online because the thought of taking even three children round Sainsburys is just too much!  She never doubted her abilities, never sat weeping that she was doing it all wrong, there was no Facebook in the 80s and 90s to vent, rant or ask for advice. And yet we all four of us turned out pretty damn good even if I do say so myself. She absolutely did her best for us with the information that was available at the time. 

She gave me the confidence to do things differently than everyone else, she taught me to swim against the tide and to stand strong and tall in the face of criticism of your beliefs.  She taught me that it was ok to do the opposite of what everyone else was doing if you believed it was the right things to do.  It is because of this that I have chosen to parent the way I do, natural term breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing,  home educating, gentle parenting with non-punitive discipline.  It is because of her that I have perused a vegan lifestyle, trying to live the creative life and moving towards a more sustainable, self sufficient lifestyle.  She didn't necessarily do all off these things herself (though I strongly believe that she probably would have given the luxury of access to the information about gentle parenting etc that I have,) but it is because of her, and not, as many might assume, in spite of her that I have. 

So I want to say thank you mum, I am me because of you. 

Gentle Parenting Retreat 2018 - Your questions answered

It occurred to be recently that there may be a few unanswered questions about the Gentle Parenting Retreat 2018 that people might have so I have put together this little list of potential questions to help you understand what the retreat is all about and maybe encourage you to take this opportunity for a day of self care:

What's the Gentle Parenting thing all about?

I have called this retreat a "Gentle Parenting Retreat" because I want all the mamas there to have common ground between them.  It's such an important part of our lives and it is what has brought many of us who already know each other together, so it makes sense for this common ground to unite us on this day of community and sisterhood.  Gentle parenting describes a way of parenting that leads with kindness, gentleness and understanding. Gentle parents try to meet their children's needs through keeping their babies close, listening to them and responding to their needs, because of this they tend to lean towards attachment parenting techniques such as co-sleeping and baby wearing (but not always), and they discipline through connection rather than exclusion or punishments. All mamas who relate to these techniques would be welcome at the retreat, and any mamas open to the gentle parenting philosophy and would like to move towards this approach would also be very welcome.

Do I have to be arty, creative or be able to draw?

There is absolutely no need to be arty or have any art skills whatsoever to take part in this retreat.  Many of us have bad memories of school art lessons which have sadly tainted our feelings towards creative activities.  As women we are inherently creative beings, we have the ability to create life and by embracing this side that is part of us all, we can feel more fulfilled, relaxed and empowered. The piece you create at the retreat is just yours; you don't have to show anyone, you won't be graded, it won't be exhibited. You will be invited to share your piece with the group but there is no obligation to do this if you don't want to.

It sounds a bit hippy-ish and New Age which I am not into, does that mean the retreat isn't for me?

Not at all. There is no religious element to this retreat.  The guided meditations are not to do with emptying your mind or communicating with God or the Universe (though you can incorporate this element if you want to), they are about relaxation and exploring your inner world. This retreat is suitable for anyone of any faith or none at all.  You don't have to wear tie-dye, do yoga, be vegan or love unicorns, though if you do, that's awesome too!

It sounds like you all know each other, will it be weird for me if I don't?

It's true that some of us who are attending the retreat may already know each other, however there are people coming who don't know everyone so you won't be alone if you don't already have friends in the group. What's more, we are a very friendly bunch, everyone coming is very welcoming and kind and you are sure to leave with friends even if you arrive without any!

I am on a budget, how can I justify the price?

By making self care a priority.  Self care IS important and your £54 isn't just about having one day away from your children; the benefits you will gain from this day will carry through into the year ahead and will enhance your family life.  The price is competitive compared to similar day long retreats and includes:  the use of the beautiful Renewal Centre and all its facilities from 9.30 till 4.00, a delicious lunch with drinks, teas and coffees and snacks and afternoon tea, the morning creative workshop with all art materials provided and the afternoon vision board workshop with materials provided.  Take a moment to think about what else you might spend this amount of money on and the value you get from those things, for me the value of this day long retreat is certainly on a par with or more than a meal out, a massage, a hair cut or spa day.

If you would like to come to this retreat but you feel cost is a barrier to you, please do get in touch.

Number Hop Activity

I've teamed up with education.com to bring you another fun learning activity for your little ones.

This activity great for exercising growing muscles and will also help your child learn their numbers.  Balance and co-ordination will also be put to the test as they make their way from number to number.

As we currently have an Arctic theme in our home ed at the moment I used the idea of hopping from ice burg to ice burg, but you could do the leap from theme that education.com suggested to me.

Here are their instructions for the activity, then I will share with you how I adapted this idea for my own children:

What you need:

• 20 sheets of varying colour of construction paper or white sheets of paper for the ice burg hop.
• 1 black marker.

What you do:

1. Help your child set out the sheets of construction paper on a flat surface.
2. Then, using the black marker, let your child draw a number on each card (the numbers 1-20, one per card).
3. Next, help her place the cards on the ground in a line, about a foot apart. You could do variations such as placing the cards counting up, counting down, even numbers, or odd numbers.
4. To play the game, your child should stand at one end of the number line.
5. Call out, “HOP.”
6. Encourage your child to hop onto the nearest lily pad and call out the number.
7. She wins when she makes it to the end of the line, having successfully called out all of the numbers.

Number Leap Frog is a great way to build a strong math foundation for future learning. Not to mention it's a silly and fun way to get lots of exercise and keep those minds and bodies active! 

We adapted this idea to our Arctic theme by using white sheets of paper as "ice burgs".  We played by rolling a die and Boris had to identify the number on the die, then translate that to the written numbers on the "ice burgs".  He had to hop in random directions, sometimes far, sometimes near to get to the right number.  He then had a go at writing some random numbers of his own onto more sheets of paper then insisted that I do the ice burg hop!

It was a fun activity and great for helping to learn number identification.  I felt like I could have extended the idea by using two dice and getting Boris to add the numbers together.

Let me know if you have a go at this idea, I would love to see how you make it work for your children. 

Distraction Vs Immersion

Well hello 2018, we didn't get off on the right foot did we.  Let's start again!

Let me explain; The house of mama began this year with a two night stay in the high dependency unit of our local hospital for our four year old, beginning on New Years eve 2017 (which I spent alone, cleaning the oven).  It was an incredibly worrying, upsetting and stressful time and I am unspeakably glad it's over.

It was most certainly not the start to the year I had in mind. My plans were for an evening of relaxing, drinking some rose with my husband, and watching Jools Holland.  Followed by a weeks of sorting and tidying the house, clearing out junk, planning our home ed year and filling in my shining life workbook (which is actually just a notebook where I am answering the questions from last years workbook because #onabudget).  The reality was quite different and something I'd sooner forget.  Therefore New Year has officially started this week for me and was precursed by a wonderful "Word of The Year" Workshop run by my lovely friend Vicki from vickiclubleymoore.com.

I've been choosing a word of the year for about five years now, but it's only really properly informed my year since I began the Shining Life programme by Leonie Dawson, because with her workbook I was able to delve deeper into the hows and whys or word-of-the-year.  This will be my third year. I have found it a really useful and inspiring tool to help me focus on how I want my year to unfold, how I want to feel and what I want my year to look like.

When I looked back over the past year I realised I felt like it had gone really really quickly and I had blinked one to many times and missed it.  I feel like the past year has been filled with distraction.  I have constantly distracted myself from real life by looking on social media, rading books or simply hiding away in the kitchen, at every possible moment.  And I don't want to look back over my year, over my life; and think that I wasted it all on Facebook.

I really felt like I wanted next year to be a year of being present, living more in the moment and really immersing myself in life.  Home ed life, home life, family life, spiritual life...  I wanted to feel like I am fully experiencing everything the year has to bring; to touch, taste, smell, hear and feel absolutely everything, so I end the year full of wonderful memories.

For these reasons and more that I won't bore you with I have chosen the word IMMERSE for my word of the year.

(My rather crinkles word-of-the-year art that I did at Vicki's workshop!)

I want to be fully immersed in life in 2018 not distracted from it.

It will be interesting to see how the year goes because right now it feels a bit like wading through mud.  I haven't shaken the feelings of sadness surrounding my little boy's awful hospital stay and I am struggling to find my rhythm. It's difficult as a full time, home educating mama to feel any sense of beginning and end, any sense of a task completed, of a job well done because everything is a constant cycle and I am almost always wanted and needed for the next task.  From laundry to cooking meals to ferrying children to different places and trying to squeeze in house work, my life is not my own at the moment and nothing feels like it's going my way.  Right now my immersion feels more like drowning than the involvement and engrossment I had in mind.

According the Thesaurus.com the antonym to Immersion is Surrender.  This feels particularly poignant at the moment.  Surrendering to life as I know it is all I can do right now.  I have the choice to either surrender to the messy, chaotic majesty of this wonderful life or I can try to fight it and end up drowning, because no amount of fighting or running away is going to change things.  I can only surrender and get on with it. But one thing is for sure, I won't be distracting myself from it any longer because I don't want to miss it.  As hard as it is someday (everyday at the moment) this is my one glorious, cluttered, manic life and I'm diving right in.