Our Candlemas Celebration

You may remember me saying at the start of February that we would be celebrating Candlemas by making and eating a candle cake, making an earthen candle and eating a candle lit dinner, amazingly I did actually manage to do all these things on the evening of Candlemas.
In case you don't know Candlemas is a Christian feast day celebrated 40 days after Christmas day to make the day that Mary presented the infant Jesus at the temple, as was the tradition. It is also they day when churches bless the candles, which represent Jesus being the light of the world. Historically the date has been celebrated as the mid-point between the shortest day and the spring equinox, and thus seems an ideal date to celebrate light.

I like cake (a lot) so when I saw this candle cake I decided it would be a great excuse to combine the celebration and my love of baked goods.  It was pretty easy to make, literally covered a Swiss roll with water icing (it makes lots of drippy marks giving it an authentic candle-like feel) and I used a heart shaped marshmallow turned upside down and stuck on a kebab skewer for the flame. If I did this again I would make my own Swiss roll because, no offence, but Asda own brand Swiss roll is a bit minging.

The earthen candle idea came from here,I thought Boris would really like it and he did.  I made mine by melting some paraffin wax in a Bain Marie 

Then I filled Boris' little bucket with soil from the garden and formed a heart shape in it, I suspended a wick in it then poured in the melted wax. I left it o set whilst finishing dinner and laying the table.

And Voila!  Our Candlemas dinner was complete. I apologise for these photos, it was too dark really and no amount of iphone filtration was going to make them look any better!

After dinner we played shadow puppets in the candle light, it was good fun.

A Walk in the Woods

A couple of days ago, the sun was out (rare) so I decided to take the kiddos for a walk in some lovely woods near me.  The land which houses my allotment is directly next door to these woods and I am reliably informed by one of my allotment holder friends that the woods used to be an arboretum for a large manor house that used to stand nearby. There is a huge variety of trees in the small area of woodland which is fascinating and provides a fantastic learning environment for little ones to explore.
Here are a few snaps of our visit, even in the winter the place is beautiful, there are so many interesting textures, patterns and colours to stimulate the senses.

Puddles offer endless enjoyment to toddlers

Textures

Reflections

Beautiful vistas

The sun through the trees

I am much more relaxed when walking in the woods with Boris because I know he isn't likely to knock his teeth out if he falls, unlike if we are walking on the pavement.

Fascinating twisted trunk

Popping bubbles on the surface of a puddle

Feet photos

Lots of picking up of sticks and leaves

The all important selfie!

I really hope that as my boys grow up, visiting the woods becomes a part of our weekly routine, I think there is so much to learn from the forest and it makes me feel calm and grounded.  I hope they will find the same peace and tranquillity from the trees that I do.  I am so thankful that we have spaces like this near our home to enjoy. 

Do you have natural spaces near where you live?  Do you have children who like to explore the forest?

I am back! And a Little Bit on Home Birth

Well hello everyone!  I am back!  And my little one (lets call him Biscuit) is now 5 weeks old!  How time flies, and how chubby he has become! Things have really changed round here, I am gradually adjusting to a totally different daily rhythm, and it hasn't been an easy transition, and we aren't quite there yet, but things are starting to feel like the new normal now and we are coming out of the just-muddling-through phase and are entering the ok-lets-do-this phase.  It has been and continues to be a challenge at times and there have been many stressful and teary moments (and many more to come I am sure) but I am trying desperately to savor every moment while chasing my tail with photo taking an journal writing, but I guess that's just what it is like so I am trying to go with it and not get stressed about it.

Looking back to how I felt after having Boris couldn't be more different to how I feel after having Biscuit.  Boris was born in hospital and I came home feeling very sorry for myself indeed, but after a wonderful home birth experience with Biscuit I feel totally different, good, happy even.  I would even go as far as to say that I enjoyed it if you can believe that! I felt so much more in control and empowered by the whole thing and used positive thinking and breathing to get through the pain, I was lucky that it was quick, I was able to walk around, pee when I wanted, make as much noise as I liked and the little man came out in one contraction, I couldn't have asked for a better experience and am so thankful it went well.

For me, the things that really made a difference were:

• Knowing what to expect, (I didn't convince myself that it wasn't going to hurt this time!)
• Re-reading Ina May's guide to Childbirth (reminded me that my body was designed to do this, and remembered her mantra of "The creator is not a careless mechanic")
• Using positive visualization (I pictured myself breathing the ocean in and out to help with the breathing, but it also made me feel powerful)
• Being at home (sounds obvious but it meant I didn't have the inhibitions I had at hospital, I could totally be like a wild woman)
• Having a midwife who didn't interfere (this was pure luck, but she other than telling me how the labor was progressing, she did nothing which was exactly what I wanted)
• Saying positive words (I told myself to relax, told the baby to move down, said positive words like "love" and "relax")

It was also incredible nice to be able to have a shower in my own bathroom, a cup of tea in my own mug and the first day with my new baby in my own bed. 

Hopefully in the coming weeks I will be able to share a few more "fun things to do with toddlers" posts as well as a few "fun things to do with newborns" or something of that nature.  (We are having a lot of fun with fiber optics at the moment!) You can forget all about book reviews as I have no time for reading!  And cooking is out of the window at the moment, thankfully we have a freezer full of yummies and a cupboard full of tinned food!  Thanks to some lovely friends and the supermarket home delivery!  

I really hope you will stick around to continue sharing my journey. 

Coping with a Toddler During Pregnancy (without resorting to TV)

I am not a massive fan of writing blog posts that tell people how to do things as if I am some authority on the subject, however coping with a toddler during pregnancy is something I wondered about when I was pregnant with Boris (not his real name), I never could quite imagine how I would cope being so tired and so sore and also having a toddler to run around after.  It was hard enough sitting at a desk at work all day.  So since I am now pregnant AND have a toddler (and seem to be coping) it seems fitting to describe the experience and the methods I have used to avoid going crazy and/or collapsing from exhaustion! 
Many people wait until their first child is older before having a second for fear of not being able to cope in pregnancy and I want to reassure women who want a second baby but feel they might be too tired that you can do it, you just need to make sure that you aren't trying to do-it-all.  
During the early stages of pregnancy I experienced sickness and tiredness but was physically able to move around fine, now in the later stages of pregnancy, I no longer feel sick but am finding it harder to run around after my little boy and it is now that I am having to come up with more and more strategies to keep me going.
I know plenty of parents let their children watch TV to give them a chance to get on with housework etc, and that is fine for them, but for me, I wouldn't be comfortable with this, especially having read Remotely Controlled by Aric Sigman.  I know everyone does what they need to to survive and I would never judge anyone for resorting to TV during difficult periods, but for me and my family TV isn't a satisfactory choice.
So here are some of the ways that I have changed my lifestyle in order to cope with pregnancy and a toddler:

• Go to places where your toddler gets to run around and you get to sit down - I used to go to play grounds and parks a lot, also farms and lakes where I would walk around and let Boris run around while I ran around after him.  This has been ok, but I can't do it every day like I used to.  Instead I find it much more relaxing to go somewhere like the children's center or a toddler group where I can have a nice sit down and Boris gets to play with and show me all the exciting toys.  He burns up energy and i get to rest so it's a win win.  There is also opportunities for interaction with other children which is a learning experience for him and usually a chance for me to have a cup of tea and some good conversation with a grown up human!  Children's centers are great because they are free and usually have an outdoor space so your little one gets fresh air.  They also have areas set up with activities at tables so you can sit with your toddler while he explores some play doh or a puzzle for example.  There are usually toddler groups running every day so if you can travel then you can plan your week around toddler groups for maximum rest/play opportunities. 

•  Sleep when your toddler sleeps - I know this is a cliche and some people find it really annoying to be told this, but I find it quite useful to remind myself that it is OK to sleep when my toddler sleeps.  I am not saying to sleep every time your toddler sleeps, I know there are things that need to be done, but if you can get a day time nap at least a couple of times a week, it does make a difference.

• Provide stimulating activities for your toddler - I have found that if I spend a bit of time engaging my toddler in a planned, stimulating activity, he is much easier to cope with afterwards, he is often even happy to play by himself for a bit so I can have a sit down.  Obviously you have to  make the effort to come up with an activity, plan in, sort out the materials, set it up and get in there and play with your toddler, which can be tiring when you are pregnant, but it is worth doing on those days when you have nothing else planned.  Here are some ideas for fun things to do with your toddler.

•  Get out of the house as much as possible - I have found that my toddler goes stir crazy if I try to stay indoors with him all day.  Fresh air and a change of scenery make all the difference so I often take him to the park, for a walk or simply to a friend's house where he can play with other toys and explore different surroundings. Often something as simple as walking to the shops gives your toddler the chance to burn off some energy and get some mental stimulation from his surroundings.  My toddler loves to stop and look at every stick, stone, man hole cover and piece of littler.  Let them, it gives you a chance to stand still for a moment and will make things easier later on because they will have been stimulated.

• Create a routine - You don't have to stick to it rigidly, but I find that having a predictable routine for the week helps me to feel grounded and  reassured. I like knowing what the week is going to bring and although there is still room for spontaneity, regular activities anchor me throughout the week.  I think that they help Boris too.  So when I look at the week ahead I know that for example I usually meet my NCT group on a Monday afternoon, on Wednesdays I do the weekly shop and go to  Nursery Service at my local church, on Thursday I attend toddler group and on Friday I have my breastfeeding support group.  Just having these few things throughout the week that I know will occur is really reassuring for me, especially coming from a background that was ruled by schedule and repetition (teaching).

• Don't try to do too much - I usually plan no more than two activities during the day.  One before lunch and one after.  There are times when I will try to do one more things and it ends up being stressful, rushed, and I feel bad for Boris because he doesn't get to take his time with things like his lunch or examining a flower because I am rushing him on to the next activity.  It is much better to be realistic with what you can achieve in one day, take your time, be gentle with yourself and your toddler and don't worry about letting things go.  It is ok to miss a toddler group or meet up with friends that you normally do if it means you can do a one off activity that you want to do, rather than trying to squeeze both activities. I m saying this as much to myself as to anyone else because I am often guilty of trying to do too much. 

I really hope this list of ideas helps anyone out there who is pregnant with a toddler and struggling or anyone who is thinking about having another baby but not sure how they will cope.  I hope I can add to this list, so please let me know if you are pregnant and have a toddler, what do you do to help you cope?

Changing the World

Yesterday evening I was browsing Pinterest (something I spend far too much time doing)  and came across a photo that just broke my heart, I couldn't stop looking at it, it made me so so sad.  It was a journalistic style photo of a young boy laid sleeping on a cardboard box on some steps, cradling his younger, toddler aged brother.  I think before I had a child of my own this sort of photo would have saddened me but it wouldn't have affected me like it did yesterday, I literally had tears pouring down my face, it touched me right to my core. I think it was because I could just picture these boys being my own children and they looked so vulnerable, so fragile and alone.  It felt so unfair, I was really struck by the injustice of it, that we can live in a world where there are children sleeping on the street and simultaneously we have people paying $425 to buy capsules of flakes of golds to make their poo glitter (I am not kidding, check it out). Seriously, what is wrong with the world?  It make me feel like I really am so lucky and blessed for everything that I have and the country we live in.  I don't appreciate how fortunate I am, how secure and safe.  Just having basic things like a roof over my head, electricity and clean water makes me one very lucky woman. 
The photo made me feel like I desperately wanted to do something to help, to save children like these little boys, I just wanted to scoop them into my arms and take them away from the poverty and misery and fear, but then at the same time felt helpless because there is so little that I can actually do.  I can give money, but seeing as I don't actually earn any of my own it doesn't really feel like it would be my contribution.
But then I came across this pin:

 

And I remembered that I am doing something to help the world by giving my time to voluntary breastfeeding help through The Breastfeeding Network.  I am helping mothers who want to breastfeed their babies to do so successfully and pain free, and enabling babies to have the most natural first food possible. 

I did my first session of volunteering on Friday and I felt it went really well.  I only spoke to one woman, but hopefully I made a difference to her, what she really needed was someone to listen and to reassure her that what she was doing was the right thing.  So maybe I am not directly helping children living in poverty but I am doing something to help and something I feel really passionate about and in my own small way I am changing the world.  I am not telling you this to say how great I am but to say that even these apparently small things we do can make a real difference.  And many many people are doing the same thing as me, for some it is saving animals, for others it's helping old people and for others it's simply picking up litter or recycling, but we are all doing our own little thing to help to change the world.

What are you doing to change the world today?