I am back! And a Little Bit on Home Birth

Well hello everyone!  I am back!  And my little one (lets call him Biscuit) is now 5 weeks old!  How time flies, and how chubby he has become! Things have really changed round here, I am gradually adjusting to a totally different daily rhythm, and it hasn't been an easy transition, and we aren't quite there yet, but things are starting to feel like the new normal now and we are coming out of the just-muddling-through phase and are entering the ok-lets-do-this phase.  It has been and continues to be a challenge at times and there have been many stressful and teary moments (and many more to come I am sure) but I am trying desperately to savor every moment while chasing my tail with photo taking an journal writing, but I guess that's just what it is like so I am trying to go with it and not get stressed about it.

Looking back to how I felt after having Boris couldn't be more different to how I feel after having Biscuit.  Boris was born in hospital and I came home feeling very sorry for myself indeed, but after a wonderful home birth experience with Biscuit I feel totally different, good, happy even.  I would even go as far as to say that I enjoyed it if you can believe that! I felt so much more in control and empowered by the whole thing and used positive thinking and breathing to get through the pain, I was lucky that it was quick, I was able to walk around, pee when I wanted, make as much noise as I liked and the little man came out in one contraction, I couldn't have asked for a better experience and am so thankful it went well.

For me, the things that really made a difference were:

• Knowing what to expect, (I didn't convince myself that it wasn't going to hurt this time!)
• Re-reading Ina May's guide to Childbirth (reminded me that my body was designed to do this, and remembered her mantra of "The creator is not a careless mechanic")
• Using positive visualization (I pictured myself breathing the ocean in and out to help with the breathing, but it also made me feel powerful)
• Being at home (sounds obvious but it meant I didn't have the inhibitions I had at hospital, I could totally be like a wild woman)
• Having a midwife who didn't interfere (this was pure luck, but she other than telling me how the labor was progressing, she did nothing which was exactly what I wanted)
• Saying positive words (I told myself to relax, told the baby to move down, said positive words like "love" and "relax")

It was also incredible nice to be able to have a shower in my own bathroom, a cup of tea in my own mug and the first day with my new baby in my own bed. 

Hopefully in the coming weeks I will be able to share a few more "fun things to do with toddlers" posts as well as a few "fun things to do with newborns" or something of that nature.  (We are having a lot of fun with fiber optics at the moment!) You can forget all about book reviews as I have no time for reading!  And cooking is out of the window at the moment, thankfully we have a freezer full of yummies and a cupboard full of tinned food!  Thanks to some lovely friends and the supermarket home delivery!  

I really hope you will stick around to continue sharing my journey. 

Allotment Update

Or - What went down at the allotment in 2013:

I originally took on my allotment from the local council about 5 years ago, shortly after we moved into the area, things have changed so much there over the years, but I am still not on top of it.  I wonder if you can ever be "on top" of mother nature?  This year I knew that I didn't want to over do it by planting loads of different, exotic vegetables, so stuck with what I know works and what I could manage.  With it being such a dry hot summer things didn't flourish as much as they could have if I had watered on those dry days but I still
harvested a modest amount of food considering how little work I put in.  It is so difficult to get down there with a toddler in tow, he is so curious and loves to explore so I have to either go there and hope he falls asleep in the car on the way or wait until I can go there with someone else who can watch him while I get on.  I am still so thankful to have it though it will be wonderful when Boris is a bit older and I won't have to worry about him eating something he shouldn't or wandering into other peoples' plots.

So now I am just starting to shut everything down at the allotment in preparation for both winter and my impending childbirth, covering the ground in plastic and picking the last of the harvest, a few small beetroots and, some runner beans and a couple of courgettes.  My mum helped me a couple of weeks ago, tidying the edges, tucking everything under the plastic and laying more plastic to keep the weeds at bay.

So I thought it was a pretty good time to do a little review with some photos of the allotment I took a few weeks ago.  I can't believe how much the weather has changed in such a short amount of time!  We were in the heart of summer what seemed like yesterday and now it seems like everything is closing down.
So here is what went down:

The last of the courgettes

The last of the rather straggly looking runner beans,

Small harvest

View of the whole allotment, my mum helped me put down the black plastic. 

What are you currently doing at the allotment?  Are you putting anything in?  Or just taking things out and covering things up? 

Autumn is here!

Well not officially, but when I stepped out of the house this morning I could feel it.  The air had a slight nip to it and there was condensation on the cars.  I could smell it too, which is hard to describe but there was definitely a freshness to the air, combined with a mustiness (can those two go together?)  There are yellow leaves on the tree in front of my house now and a few have begun to drop leaving their delicious crunchy carpet behind for us to enjoy

As the day wore on I felt like it might have been the last day of summer, it got really hot and I felt like I should really relish it.  There are other things I need to relish at the start of this season, such as time alone with my son, as the season changes the days of being alone with him are quickly coming to an end because by the end of the Autumn, all being well he will have a baby brother or sister. 

The impending childbirth adds to a mixed feeling about the season.  On the one hand there is so much to love about it, the falling leaves, pumpkin pie, bonfire night, planting onions, but there is a worrying aura hanging in the air fir me when I think about giving birth again, it is a bit like the feeling of waiting for my own execution, I didn't have a very enjoyable birth experience with my son and am currently working on overcoming my negative feelings about childbirth, but it is taking a long time.

 
Another thing that I am reflecting on today is that pupils went back to school for their first day after the holidays, and a few years ago I would have been doing the same thing as a Secondary Art and Design teacher.  I loved the excitement of a new term, I really loved planning and fantasizing about all the wonderful displays that the work would create, imagining the kids getting all excited and not to mention the best thing of all about starting a new school year....new stationary!!, and in this sense I am feeling a sense of loss. 

However the reality never quite matched the fantasy, the lesson planning sometimes fell through, some kids hated the projects and the fresh new stationary was soon messy and creased, so in this way I am hugely relieved and thankful that I am not having to go to work and can spend my time with my husband and little boy, relishing these last few warm days of the year. 

So it is a season of changes in nature and in life, a season which holds contrasting colours as well as contrasting feelings. Lets see what it holds...