As the day wore on I felt like it might have been the last day of summer, it got really hot and I felt like I should really relish it. There are other things I need to relish at the start of this season, such as time alone with my son, as the season changes the days of being alone with him are quickly coming to an end because by the end of the Autumn, all being well he will have a baby brother or sister.
The impending childbirth adds to a mixed feeling about the season. On the one hand there is so much to love about it, the falling leaves, pumpkin pie, bonfire night, planting onions, but there is a worrying aura hanging in the air fir me when I think about giving birth again, it is a bit like the feeling of waiting for my own execution, I didn't have a very enjoyable birth experience with my son and am currently working on overcoming my negative feelings about childbirth, but it is taking a long time.
Another thing that I am reflecting on today is that pupils went back to school for their first day after the holidays, and a few years ago I would have been doing the same thing as a Secondary Art and Design teacher. I loved the excitement of a new term, I really loved planning and fantasizing about all the wonderful displays that the work would create, imagining the kids getting all excited and not to mention the best thing of all about starting a new school year....new stationary!!, and in this sense I am feeling a sense of loss.
However the reality never quite matched the fantasy, the lesson planning sometimes fell through, some kids hated the projects and the fresh new stationary was soon messy and creased, so in this way I am hugely relieved and thankful that I am not having to go to work and can spend my time with my husband and little boy, relishing these last few warm days of the year.
So it is a season of changes in nature and in life, a season which holds contrasting colours as well as contrasting feelings. Lets see what it holds...
