Poor old Jamie Oliver, he really has got it in the neck this last week. He has been called all sorts of names simply for saying that breastfeeding is good and that mums need more support in doing it.
It sometimes seems like you can't say something positive about breastfeeding without being accused of being judgmental, putting pressure on women, or even being likened to a Nazi regime.
But we really have got to keep saying good things about breastfeeding, and we really have got to keep fighting for better support because the formula companies have millions of pounds to spend telling people that their product is really good and helping mums get to it and making sure they know about it. Funding for breastfeeding support is woefully poor, so if we don't use our voices to get the message across, what hope have we got against multi national, billion dollar companies? And the mad thing is that people supporting breastfeeding don't even do it for any financial gain! We are doing it simply because we know how good it can be, how good it can be for mums and how good it can be for babies . And on a personal level, I did it because I saw the the emotional pain women went through when they weren't able to achieve their breastfeeding goals and I wanted to help take that pain away. (I can assure you that the formula companies are not considering your emotional well being when they promote their product, despite how much they might like to appear like your best friend.)
It has really made me sad seeing the negativity surrounding breastfeeding that has been flying around social media this past week. Many many women have been let down by the system and they are quite rightly burned. But my concern is that with such a small voice in support of breastfeeding we risk putting generations of women off breastfeeding altogether. When women are unsupported with their breastfeeding and things go wrong, they are often left to draw their own conclusions for why things didn't work out or are told false truths by family members and medical professionals alike which can derail their journeys.
So I wanted to take an opportunity to dispel a few of the myths surrounding breastfeeding that I have spotted over the past few days in the hope that it will fill women who are yet to embark on a breastfeeding journey with hope that breastfeeding is indeed good, and that the breastfeeding community is full of love and encouragement for other mums and mums to be.
1. Breastfeeding hurts:
Ok so, yes, sometimes breastfeeding hurts, BUT, and here is the big but, it doesn't have to hurt. It shouldn't hurt. If it hurts then that's a sign that something ain't quite right.
There are a few possible causes to pain when breastfeeding. Sometimes it is quite simply that you have never had a baby suck on your nipple before and so it takes your body a little getting used to. If pain persists though or there is cracking or bleeding, then it's important to get help. Often a simple tweak to the position and attachment of the baby can solve feeding pain. Sometimes it takes a little more investigation. In rare cases a tongue tie might be to explain (a tongue tie means that baby is not able to draw the nipple to the back of the mouth, so it instead hits the hard pallet at the front of it's mouth, which can cause pain, but can be rectified fairly simply with a small surgical procedure) or a possible infection such as thrush (easily treatable when diagnosed).
The main thing to remember is that pain when breastfeeding is not inevitable, it's is not something to be expected and it is not something which should be tolerated.
2. Dad's find it harder to bond with their babies when mum's breastfeed:
There are many ways for dads to bond with their babies that don't include feeding. Bathing, baby wearing, co-sleeping, cuddling, massage, playing together etc etc. If dads weren't able to properly bond with their babies except through feeding then mother nature would have given men lactating breasts too.
3. Breastfeeding makes your boobs saggy:
There are three things that cause breasts to sag. One is pregnancy. Even if you decided not to breastfeed your body still grows breast tissue and prepares the body for breastfeeding. Often this means your breasts grow bigger, causing them to stretch, but sometimes not, which is where I come onto the next reason for breasts sagging - genetics. Some women will have boobs that sag, others won't, it's down to your genes. And finally, aging. You can't argue that gravity plays it's part in the downward direction of our breasts and over time (aging) gravity can take it's toll, unless you are one of the lucky ones (genetics). Breastfeeding does not cause breasts to sag.
4. Breastfed babies wake more at night:
A recent study by Swansea University showed that all babies wake in the night and that what sort of milk a baby was fed did not affect the number of times they woke.
5. Breastfeeding takes longer:
Different mother and baby combinations make for different feeding times. Some babies take a long time to feed, others take less time, they are all different. Sometimes babies will suck the breast for comfort which may have led to the myth that breastfeeding takes longer.
6. You have to eat a really healthy diet so your baby gets healthy milk:
Studies show that even mothers who would be considered moderately malnourished produce breast milk that is equal in quality to that of a well nourished mother. It doesn't matter what you eat, your body makes excellent milk.
7. You can't drink (or eat curry, drink orange juice, etc) if you breastfeed:
It is perfectly safe to consume an alcoholic drink whilst breastfeeding. The body is an excellent filter. There are actually no food or drink restrictions with regard to breastfeeding. Some mums find that different foods they eat affect their baby in different ways, but there are no hard and fast rules, it's all trial and error. But there is certainly no reason not to eat curry or cauliflower or grapes unless you discover any undesirable side effects in your baby. Here is some more information on alcohol and breastfeeding: https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/wp-content/dibm/alcohol.pdf
8. My boobs/nipples are too small/ too big to breastfeed:
Nipples and boobs come in all shapes and sizes and are not a reflection on the mother's ability to produce milk or feed her baby. It is the amount of breast fat that usually affects the size of the breasts most significantly, but also the number of ducts can vary from woman to woman from between 4 and 9 per breast. However they work on a supply and demand basis so even if you have four there is no reason why our breasts would produce less milk. Nipples also come in different sizes and do not reflect an ability or not to breastfeed. If mums experience difficulty getting their baby to latch and find that the size of their nipple is the reason, there is almost always a way to adjust the positioning so that the baby can latch effectively, a visit to a breastfeeding supporter can help find a comfortable position.
9. You can't breastfeed twins:
Women's bodies are designed to be able to sustain multiple births. Two babies, two boobs! Don't believe me, just ask on any good breastfeeding group. Unfortunately many mothers have been led to believe it is simply not possible. I am here to say, with the right information and support, it is.
10.
If you have had breast surgery you can't breastfeed:
It is very likely that after a breast reduction, or breast implants that you would still be able to breastfeed. Check with your doctor before assuming you won't be able to breastfeed after having breast surgery. I have seen many women with both implants and reductions successfully breastfeed their babies.
Hopefully that has dispelled a few myths and maybe given some women confidence in their bodies ability to nourish their babies.
Monday, 21 March 2016
Thursday, 17 March 2016
Butterflies, babies and breast cancer
One of the great things about Facebook is that you are able to keep in touch with people who, in real life you might have lost touch with altogether. Perhaps because you didn't know them that well to begin with, or you didn't have that much in common, you didn't live near each other etc. Even though you probably wouldn't see them again in real life it's wonderful to be able to see their life journeys unfold with all the highs and lows that we all experience.
I have recently been particularly thankful for Facebook because it meant that I have been able to follow the story of Heidi Loughlin.
Heidi is a lady that I met a year or so ago at a church toddler group with her two young boys. We chatted maybe a handful of times, she was witty, intelligent and we had things in common so we because friends on Facebook, as you do. Not long after we met she moved away, so in any other circumstances we would have lost touch as we hadn't really known each other well enough to built a friendship. But thanks so the virtual world we were able to stay in touch.
I would see the odd post that she put up now and again, pictures of her children, that sort of thing. Then things changed.
She shared possibly the worst news you could read about a friend, acquaintance, anyone. She had cancer.
Heidi has an unusual and aggressive form of breast cancer called inflammatory breast cancer, but what has made her story even more moving is that shortly before being diagnosed with cancer, she discovered she was pregnant.
To help keep her family and friends up to date with what was going on, Heidi started a blog. But because Heidi has an absolutely wicked sense of humor, her blog became something bigger than she initially thought it would be. She has been on her local radio station, in the newspaper and on TV, and is practically a local celebrity. She is doing much to raise awareness of inflammatory breast cancer as well as helping to raise money for several charities.
Her story resonates with me particularly at this moment in time because I am currently entering my 28th week of pregnancy. The same number of weeks gestation that Heidi's baby, Ally was when she was delivered by C section into this world so that Heidi could continue with her cancer treatment.
Devastatingly Ally moved onto the next place sooner than anyone could have imagined. I just cannot perceive the pain and heartache that Heidi and her family have been through and are still going through now.
It is because of this that I have felt compelled to help raise money for one of Heidi's chosen charities, and for Heidi to help her to achieve her "bucket and spade" list.
I have been inspired to paint a butterfly for Ally and Heidi because in the midst of her despair this amazingly strong woman found comfort in the image of a butterfly. She shared this quote on her blog:
"A butterfly lights beside us, like a sunbeam....and for a brief moment it's glory and beauty belong to our world....but then it flies on again, and although we wish it could have stayed, we are so thankful to have seen it at all." Author unknown.
Of course money doesn't take away pain, or cancer, but it can at least make life easier, and hopefully a little lighter and more joyful.
So it is for this reason that I am selling a limited number of prints of this butterfly painting, and will be giving 100% of profits to Heidi and her chosen charity Mummy's Star.
I will also be auctioning the original painting.
If you would like to purchase one of these prints please visit either my Etsy shop or my Facebook page. I am selling them for £18.00 per print plus p and p.
The print is approximately 5 inches high and 7 inches wide. It is professionally printed onto heavy weight paper using archival inks. Each print is numbered and signed.
I have recently been particularly thankful for Facebook because it meant that I have been able to follow the story of Heidi Loughlin.
Heidi is a lady that I met a year or so ago at a church toddler group with her two young boys. We chatted maybe a handful of times, she was witty, intelligent and we had things in common so we because friends on Facebook, as you do. Not long after we met she moved away, so in any other circumstances we would have lost touch as we hadn't really known each other well enough to built a friendship. But thanks so the virtual world we were able to stay in touch.
I would see the odd post that she put up now and again, pictures of her children, that sort of thing. Then things changed.
She shared possibly the worst news you could read about a friend, acquaintance, anyone. She had cancer.
Heidi has an unusual and aggressive form of breast cancer called inflammatory breast cancer, but what has made her story even more moving is that shortly before being diagnosed with cancer, she discovered she was pregnant.
To help keep her family and friends up to date with what was going on, Heidi started a blog. But because Heidi has an absolutely wicked sense of humor, her blog became something bigger than she initially thought it would be. She has been on her local radio station, in the newspaper and on TV, and is practically a local celebrity. She is doing much to raise awareness of inflammatory breast cancer as well as helping to raise money for several charities.
Her story resonates with me particularly at this moment in time because I am currently entering my 28th week of pregnancy. The same number of weeks gestation that Heidi's baby, Ally was when she was delivered by C section into this world so that Heidi could continue with her cancer treatment.
Devastatingly Ally moved onto the next place sooner than anyone could have imagined. I just cannot perceive the pain and heartache that Heidi and her family have been through and are still going through now.
It is because of this that I have felt compelled to help raise money for one of Heidi's chosen charities, and for Heidi to help her to achieve her "bucket and spade" list.
I have been inspired to paint a butterfly for Ally and Heidi because in the midst of her despair this amazingly strong woman found comfort in the image of a butterfly. She shared this quote on her blog:
"A butterfly lights beside us, like a sunbeam....and for a brief moment it's glory and beauty belong to our world....but then it flies on again, and although we wish it could have stayed, we are so thankful to have seen it at all." Author unknown.
Of course money doesn't take away pain, or cancer, but it can at least make life easier, and hopefully a little lighter and more joyful.
So it is for this reason that I am selling a limited number of prints of this butterfly painting, and will be giving 100% of profits to Heidi and her chosen charity Mummy's Star.
I will also be auctioning the original painting.
Not only has Heidi's story moved me emotionally, it has also moved me to examine my breasts more closely. And I would like to take this opportunity to call out particularly to any pregnant or breastfeeding mamas out there who might have some unexplained changed to their breasts, to get your breasts checked out and not to leave without an acceptable answer. Our breasts go through many changes during pregnancy and breastfeeding but it's really important to know what is normal and what isn't. Inflammatory breast cancer quite often does not appear as a lump, but a spreading redness and cellulite type appearance. It could be mistaken for mastitis in a breastfeeding mother so it's even more important to be mindful of the symptoms.
If you would like to purchase one of these prints please visit either my Etsy shop or my Facebook page. I am selling them for £18.00 per print plus p and p.
The print is approximately 5 inches high and 7 inches wide. It is professionally printed onto heavy weight paper using archival inks. Each print is numbered and signed.
Wednesday, 16 March 2016
Learning and Listening
I have been learning loads and feeling very creative these last few weeks. I am feeling like I am much more able to focus on my goals and what I want to achieve. It feels good.
I have read and watched a few inspiring books and videos recently that have really helped. Especially with my focus. Just little things from each of them pop into my head every now and again and remind me where my focus needs to be. For example I used to get this feeling whenever I saw some crafty item or arty thing where I would think "ooh I could make that, that would be a real money spinner" and I would start to think about making that thing myself and selling it in my Etsy shop. Sometimes I would get as far as buying materials and making one of them. Then my motivation and energy for the idea would fizzle out and I would lose interest and move onto the next money making idea. This would happen again and again, and I would even get jealous of other people succeeding at projects that I "could" do, but wasn't. I would end up feeling fed up and just do nothing.
Through reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert I realised that I need to focus on doing the thing I really love rather than trying to do things that will make money. Because, firstly, those things probably wouldn't ever make me money any way because my heart wouldn't really be in them (and people would see that) and secondly because although I might not ever make money doing what I love, at least I can die a happy woman knowing I squeezed every drop of my passion from me into something I love. So whenever I get that silly feeling like "Oh I could make tea cup candles or doily lamp shades or scrabble tile art," I stop and think to myself "Helen, let someone else do those, you can't do everything. You love painting, that's what your heart is calling you to do. Do that" And I feel much better.
I recently watched a TED Talk video on You Tube about how you attract buyers, not by WHAT you sell but by WHY you are selling it. I found it really helpful and inspiring, a strong reminder that people aren't just interested in my art, but they are interested in me and what motivates me, what inspires me, what calls to my soul.
I am currently taking the Kelly Rae Roberts Flying Lessons Ecourse which reinforces this message. I have been following Artist Kelly Rae Roberts for years (since 2009 in fact) and have really enjoyed watching her journey unfold. She produced this ecourse back in 2012 I think so I have known about it for a while, but it wasn't until recently that I was ready to invest in myself and take the course. (Leonie Dawson says you get $10 back for every dollar you invest in yourself) It's really exciting and has helped me massively with my focus and how to run a creative business. She talks a lot about being yourself and letting people see the real YOU. So I am working on this and making it more of a focus for my blog.
As for my art, well I can't get enough time for it!! I just want to do it all the time now and am really enjoying working in water colour, which isn't a medium I used that much in the past. It's a wonderful feeling to finally be developing my own ideas in a natural, organic way.
Of course I am faced with the daily challenge of balancing parenting my two gorgeous boys with this strong desire to create, I desperately want to me the "perfect" parent and do everything right, but I am learning to let go a little, to realise that I can't ever be (no one is) perfect, but managing the guilt is hard, always feeling like I fall short is hard. But I know I can't ignore the whispers of my heart to create these paintings or else a part of me dies, and a half dead mother is no good to anyone.
I don't know where all this is going to take me, all this muddling through parenting and snatching minutes here and there to paint, I am hoping eventually I will be able to sell something! (Maybe one day I can even bring in an income through it. Shhhh don't say that too loud, I don't want to scare the idea off) But at the moment it's bringing me joy, and for now that's enough.
I have read and watched a few inspiring books and videos recently that have really helped. Especially with my focus. Just little things from each of them pop into my head every now and again and remind me where my focus needs to be. For example I used to get this feeling whenever I saw some crafty item or arty thing where I would think "ooh I could make that, that would be a real money spinner" and I would start to think about making that thing myself and selling it in my Etsy shop. Sometimes I would get as far as buying materials and making one of them. Then my motivation and energy for the idea would fizzle out and I would lose interest and move onto the next money making idea. This would happen again and again, and I would even get jealous of other people succeeding at projects that I "could" do, but wasn't. I would end up feeling fed up and just do nothing.
Through reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert I realised that I need to focus on doing the thing I really love rather than trying to do things that will make money. Because, firstly, those things probably wouldn't ever make me money any way because my heart wouldn't really be in them (and people would see that) and secondly because although I might not ever make money doing what I love, at least I can die a happy woman knowing I squeezed every drop of my passion from me into something I love. So whenever I get that silly feeling like "Oh I could make tea cup candles or doily lamp shades or scrabble tile art," I stop and think to myself "Helen, let someone else do those, you can't do everything. You love painting, that's what your heart is calling you to do. Do that" And I feel much better.
Holy Humming Bird
I recently watched a TED Talk video on You Tube about how you attract buyers, not by WHAT you sell but by WHY you are selling it. I found it really helpful and inspiring, a strong reminder that people aren't just interested in my art, but they are interested in me and what motivates me, what inspires me, what calls to my soul.
I am currently taking the Kelly Rae Roberts Flying Lessons Ecourse which reinforces this message. I have been following Artist Kelly Rae Roberts for years (since 2009 in fact) and have really enjoyed watching her journey unfold. She produced this ecourse back in 2012 I think so I have known about it for a while, but it wasn't until recently that I was ready to invest in myself and take the course. (Leonie Dawson says you get $10 back for every dollar you invest in yourself) It's really exciting and has helped me massively with my focus and how to run a creative business. She talks a lot about being yourself and letting people see the real YOU. So I am working on this and making it more of a focus for my blog.
As for my art, well I can't get enough time for it!! I just want to do it all the time now and am really enjoying working in water colour, which isn't a medium I used that much in the past. It's a wonderful feeling to finally be developing my own ideas in a natural, organic way.
Of course I am faced with the daily challenge of balancing parenting my two gorgeous boys with this strong desire to create, I desperately want to me the "perfect" parent and do everything right, but I am learning to let go a little, to realise that I can't ever be (no one is) perfect, but managing the guilt is hard, always feeling like I fall short is hard. But I know I can't ignore the whispers of my heart to create these paintings or else a part of me dies, and a half dead mother is no good to anyone.
I don't know where all this is going to take me, all this muddling through parenting and snatching minutes here and there to paint, I am hoping eventually I will be able to sell something! (Maybe one day I can even bring in an income through it. Shhhh don't say that too loud, I don't want to scare the idea off) But at the moment it's bringing me joy, and for now that's enough.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)