Escape

There is so much horrible stuff going on, all the time, all over the world, but more recently things a lot closer to home, it's scary and worrying, I worry for my children and my husband (who commutes to London daily) and my sister and brother who live and work there.  It also makes me sad and some of it makes me feel ashamed and guilty, and if I think too hard about it my heart just can't take it.  

I can't do anything to make these things go away, I haven't the facilities or capacity to do anything to help, I am helpless and this could well lead to hopelessness.

The only option for me is escape.

So that's what we've done.

For my birthday we bought a tent and every weekend for the last three weekends we have been camping.

It's been mostly great,

It was a lot of work,

There were tears,

There were arguments,

There was cooking in the rain,

There were pancakes and tea in the sun,

There was waking up freezing cold,

There was waking up boiling hot.

There were lakes,

There were beaches,

There were woods,

There were cosy evenings,

There was wine,

We learnt a lot.

The first weekend we went to a campsite just ten minutes from our house, we forgot a washing up bowl, a dustpan and brush, dish sponges and washing up liquid. But enjoyed walking round the lake and the playground, and a good breakfast at a cafe.

The next weekend we went about an hour away to a campsite in Wiltshire in the Savernake Forest, it was wonderful being so near the forest.  I thoroughly enjoyed peeing in the woods in the very early morning with the sunlight shining through the trees and the birds all waking up.

 Last weekend we went further still to a campsite in Dorset, we stayed out late on the Saturday night, having a meal in Weymouth (a restaurant called Restaurant 43 which in spite of a very meat heavy menu made me a delicious oriental stir fry a la carte).  which was a lucky thing because we returned to the tent to the sound of very loud karaoke in the pub just behind our tent, so thankfully we had missed most of it!

So I am loving camping, mostly.   I love the slower pace of life, and how everything just takes longer, in the positive sense of it being leisurely.  Walking to the tap to get water, cooking the meals, even going to the loo.  I enjoy the simplicity of it, you're not surrounded by stuff, you just have the bear minimum.  I enjoy the low-tech-ness of it, I don't use my phone, no hoover, oven or TV (though I do read books on my Kindle) This also means I can avoid any more heart-wrenching news, at least temporarily.

How do you deal with all the trouble that's going on?  Do you escape too?  How?  If you don't escape, what do you do?

Going camping was one of my goals for this year and I hope I will share lots more camping adventures with you over the summer.  I really hope we're going to be a "camping family" and that this will be something that brings us together, can eventually relax us and help us unwind and be an important part of our lives. I am also hoping that camping with friends will be something we will be doing in the future too.

Revelations en France

Yesterday I returned from a week’s holiday in France with my husband and our boys.  There are many things that are really great about going on holiday, here are a few:

Having my husband to help me.  My poor hubby works in London so has a long commute to work and back every day, I am thankful that he is around in the evenings and at weekends and am well aware that many mothers don’t even have this, but to have him there 24/7 to help is really great.  (I also quite like him, you know, so it's nice having him around!)

Having only a few possessions with us.  I love this part of being on holiday, it always reminds me of how little I need to get by, be happy, have a good time.  I took a few luxuries with me like my Kindle for reading, my laptop so I could catch up on some writing, my journal, a hair dryer, that sort of thing, but not having to look around my house thinking about everything that needs doing, and not having so much stuff to tidy away daily provides such a break and a rest.

A change of scenery.  Being in a different place is great because you get to see different sights every day, being at home, although we get out and about a lot, it is often to the same places week in and week out, and seeing different types of buildings and streets, flora and fauna is really exciting.

Being more relaxed about what we eat.  We usually eat pretty healthily and I make about 80% of our meals from scratch but on holiday I excuse myself from this (although I like to eat healthy food, I do not particularly enjoy cooking it) and use frozen and easy to cook food when we are on holiday.

Sitting in the car.  As sad as It sounds this is probably one of my favourite things about being on holiday, we travel by car to visit different places, usually by the scenic route to enjoy the views and I get to read my book, the babies sleep and I can enjoy looking out of the window at the different sights, I find this most relaxing.

Enjoying my children more.  Although I am with them all week, they are often off playing in playgrounds, playing with friends in their bedrooms or taking part in activities, but on holiday there is a much more intensive closeness because we are doing things for them and with them.  So for example walking round a museum requires much more of our attention in stopping them running off/climbing on the exhibits/getting they to focus on something and we therefore get to experience them more.  I realise I am not selling this so far, it is hard work, but the things they come out with that I might otherwise miss, or might not be said are brilliant, (Biscuit said one evening “When I am older I am going to get a motorbike, then I will be the best man in the world, like Jesus!”) seeing them achieve new things (Boris went down the water slide in the swimming pool for the first time, he was really brave, he was scared, I could see by his face, but he did it anyway and I felt so proud) and watching them play together is priceless.  We also didn’t have TV or internet connection so were far less distracted than we would be normally.

HOWEVER

I am sooo glad to be home.  Begin away makes you realise the things you miss doesn’t it, and it’s make me immensely thankful for some things that I haven’t really considered before. Here are some things I am newly thankful for:

Speaking English as a first language.  How lucky am I that I speak English??  It’s spoken in so many places around the world, and although I do make attempts to speak the language of the countries I am lucky enough to visit, I am not great at it and we can often ask “parlez vous Anglais?” and continue an otherwise disjointed and confused conversation in my native tongue.

Being born in the UK.  I am so thankful for being born in the UK, it has given me so many opportunities that people from other countries might not have had, we are so lucky to live in the UK with so much freedom and relative safety.  Also being able to speak the language of the people who are native to the country is so wonderful and I have renewed sympathy for people who have moved here and are not yet able to speak the language.

Access to lots of delicious vegan food. The French are great at food, but they aren’t great at vegan food!! And by vegan food I am talking about processed food because the fruits vegetables here are really great, fresh, tasty, huge variety, seasonal and without all the packaging you are encumbered with in the UK.  However if you are after a Linda McCartney sausage, and tin of baked beans, a carton of oat milk or some dairy free cheese you will be out of luck.   There is a growing variety of convenient vegan food in the UK which is so liberating and exciting.

Having a sofa to sit on.  We have spent this week in a static caravan and there is no sofa, just a bench round a table with a soft-ish pad of it.  I miss my sofa, it’s big and squashy and soft and fluffy and I love it and I am so happy to be back snuggled up on it with a big cup of tea (only small cups here, sad times). I realise that being able to afford a holiday at all is the height of luxury relatively speaking so I am well aware how ungrateful it sounds to be complaining about a lack of sofa, but you know #firstworldproblems.

So yeah, we had a great time, but I really am glad to be home. Now where’s my cup of tea?

We got caught in a downpour one day, Boris gave me two giant leaves to cover myself and Nut!

Much needed holiday

We went for a much needed weekend away last weekend.  I was desperate to get away for a weekend before this baby arrives and there are so many things going on over the next few months and we wanted to avoid Easter holiday so I took the plunge and booked up a holiday for us all at a place called Bosinver Farm near St Austell in Cornwall.

It was gorgeous and great for families, we could have spent the whole weekend on the farm if we wanted to, there was so much to do.  The cottage was so stylish, all the furniture was really good quality, it felt like a real luxurious treat.

I was deeply glad of the rest, of being able to get away from the "shoulds":  "I should be doing the laundry, I should be doing the dishes, I should be hoovering, I should be getting dinner ready, I should, I should, I should..."  Do you ever feel like that?  But away from our home there was nothing that needed doing so I got to have a good sit down, just enjoying things like drinking my tea and looking at the view, meditating, making a conscious effort to relax my body into the chair and doing bits of the Kelly Rae Roberts E Course that I recently signed up for.

I also read an entire book, albeit a short one!  The War of Art by Steven Pressfield! Go me!

We visited a friend who lives nearby and met her lovely new baby at Trebah Gardens, and went to the Eden project, (poor show on the "breastfeeding room" Eden Project, disappointed) although I wasn't so fussed about filling our days with activities so we took a very laid back approach to getting out and about.

Time away is always good for reflecting.  I am having some issues with my faith at the moment so had a bit of chance for prayer and thinking about that.  I have always identified myself as a Christian but recently been having some problems with some aspects of the faith and my feelings about it, lots of guilt and fear, so I am having to explore my spirituality at bit, looking for the truth, trying to be open to messages from God and guidance, so some time away from normal day to day life helped a little bit with this.  Still lots of exploring to do though.

I am hoping to have more focus on my art business in the next few weeks, as well as booking up another Gentle Parenting Retreat. Exciting times ahead, and feeling really good pregnancy wise, got lots of energy, though starting to feel uncomfortable at night. I am wanting to pack as much in as I can before this baby arrives. It's ironic that I am feeling the most creative I have in a long time yet have the least amount of time to use the creativity and motivation. It's a challenge and I am still battling my own inability to focus on the task at hand and not be distracted by things like Facebook.  But I feel like things are getting better,  I feel like I am starting to Thrive.  Perhaps it's like spring for me, just as the new shoots are starting to come through the ground my own creative shoots are starting to reach through.  It definitely feels like a time of growth and transformation.