Escape

There is so much horrible stuff going on, all the time, all over the world, but more recently things a lot closer to home, it's scary and worrying, I worry for my children and my husband (who commutes to London daily) and my sister and brother who live and work there.  It also makes me sad and some of it makes me feel ashamed and guilty, and if I think too hard about it my heart just can't take it.  

I can't do anything to make these things go away, I haven't the facilities or capacity to do anything to help, I am helpless and this could well lead to hopelessness.

The only option for me is escape.

So that's what we've done.

For my birthday we bought a tent and every weekend for the last three weekends we have been camping.

It's been mostly great,

It was a lot of work,

There were tears,

There were arguments,

There was cooking in the rain,

There were pancakes and tea in the sun,

There was waking up freezing cold,

There was waking up boiling hot.

There were lakes,

There were beaches,

There were woods,

There were cosy evenings,

There was wine,

We learnt a lot.

The first weekend we went to a campsite just ten minutes from our house, we forgot a washing up bowl, a dustpan and brush, dish sponges and washing up liquid. But enjoyed walking round the lake and the playground, and a good breakfast at a cafe.

The next weekend we went about an hour away to a campsite in Wiltshire in the Savernake Forest, it was wonderful being so near the forest.  I thoroughly enjoyed peeing in the woods in the very early morning with the sunlight shining through the trees and the birds all waking up.

 Last weekend we went further still to a campsite in Dorset, we stayed out late on the Saturday night, having a meal in Weymouth (a restaurant called Restaurant 43 which in spite of a very meat heavy menu made me a delicious oriental stir fry a la carte).  which was a lucky thing because we returned to the tent to the sound of very loud karaoke in the pub just behind our tent, so thankfully we had missed most of it!

So I am loving camping, mostly.   I love the slower pace of life, and how everything just takes longer, in the positive sense of it being leisurely.  Walking to the tap to get water, cooking the meals, even going to the loo.  I enjoy the simplicity of it, you're not surrounded by stuff, you just have the bear minimum.  I enjoy the low-tech-ness of it, I don't use my phone, no hoover, oven or TV (though I do read books on my Kindle) This also means I can avoid any more heart-wrenching news, at least temporarily.

How do you deal with all the trouble that's going on?  Do you escape too?  How?  If you don't escape, what do you do?

Going camping was one of my goals for this year and I hope I will share lots more camping adventures with you over the summer.  I really hope we're going to be a "camping family" and that this will be something that brings us together, can eventually relax us and help us unwind and be an important part of our lives. I am also hoping that camping with friends will be something we will be doing in the future too.

Reflections on camping with toddlers

Arriving at the campsite, playing with the boys while the dads set up the tents, having a tasty dinner together, putting the boys to bed the sitting out in the setting sun, drinking wine a chatting with friends till we take ourselves off to our cosy tent for a restful nights sleep.  Have you read the blog Junkaholique?  This is the vision I had in mind. 

This was the image I had in my head of camping with my family and some close friends for the first time.

Ok you can stop laughing  now!

Of course it was nothing like this!  The reality was somewhat different to my imaginings.  To begin with putting up the tent was an absolute nightmare.  It took about two hours, and our children lost their patience long before the tent was erected. The problem? We borrowed a beautiful bell tent off a kind friend but failed to do any research on how to put it up.  This combined with me thinking the tent needed to perfectly even all the way round, no sags or unevenness, was a recipe for a very stressful tent erecting experience.
Because it took so long to get the tent up, dinner was eaten in a fragmented, disjointed way, not the coming together, laughing, joyful event I had fantasised about.
Bed time was another issue, we decided that we should try to get the boys to sleep in the same way we would normally at home, (mistake) so I laid down to feed Biscuit while my husband read stories for Boris.  This started off ok, but soon Biscuit got restless and started wandering round the tent distracting Boris who then decided that he wanted to go home and sleep in his own bed and didn't want to sleep on the floor in a tent after all.  After something like an hour we gave up trying to get them to sleep and decided to just sit outside with them on our laps watching cbeebies on my husbands tablet.  Why didn't we do this to start with?  It would have saved a lot of stress and tears.
The night was fine, we were warm and cosy and dry in the bell tent though bizarrely in spite of my tiredness I couldn't get to sleep?! Waking up in the ethereal light coming through the thick canvas in the morning was a beautiful thing and everything else went well that morning even though we had to get the tent down in the rain.

So lessons learnt from this camping trip:

Be prepared -  As the scouts say, and by this I mean plan ahead.  Find out the arrangement of the camp site (is it fenced in, can a gate be closed or is it always open etc), research how to erect your tent, (maybe even have a practice run in the garden), plan what activities you want to do during the day so you have something to look forward too, and one added stress removed, Find out what the showers and toilets are like so there are no hidden surprises when you are expecting a flushing toilet with all mod cons and you are presented with a porta loo and a hose pipe, or when you are expecting free showers and find you have to pay 20p and you have no change.

Be well equipped - Roughing it can be fun when you are a young single at a festive or a couple biking it round the uk for the summer or such like, but when you are camping with children there are a few pieces of equipment that I highly recommend packing with you.  A table - (thankfully our friends had the foresight to bring one as it didn't occur to us,) it keeps the stove, knives, raw meat (not that we would be eating any of that but you know what I mean) etc out of children's reach and clear from the ground, something to hold water, (three small drinking bottles is probably not enough), chairs, because when you are old and creaky (and just spent 2 hours erecting a tent) sitting on the floor is no fun at all. Wine of course needs no explanation (did I mention it took 2 hours to erect the tent?),

Good enough is good enough - Regardless of the type of tent be it bell, dome or teepee, it doesn't have to be perfect, so long as it doesn't let in any rain or wind the odd wrinkle or fold here and there is completely fine.  The same applies to meals, sleeping bag arrangement, washing and so on. Perfection is neither necessary nor does it add to the enjoyment of the experience, if it's good enough then that's good enough.

Manage your expectations - (read; lower your expectations) The children aren't going to behave in the way they do at home, everything is different and exciting and tiring to them, if they resist washing, eating, going to bed etc don't fight it, go with the flow, maybe your children go to sleep in ten minutes and maybe they won't and if they won't that's ok, one night of no teeth brushing isn't going to result in any teeth falling out, and a meal of marshmallows instead of the delicious pasta dish you prepared in advance isn't going to do any harm as a one off.

Bring entertainment - (and don't feel bad about using it) Be it games like cricket, football or throwing a Frisbee, some toy cars, colouring books or the trusty tablet with some pre downloaded episodes of Charlie and Lola, entertainment for the kiddos is important, and there is no need to beat yourself up for letting them watch cbeebies on the tablet if it helps them calm down of an evening or keeps them safe whilst dinner is cooking.

Be there for your children:  Camping for the first time can be both exciting and scary for a small child.  They may get upset for what seems to be the most irrational reasons, but it's important to remember that their feelings matter especially when they are in a new and strange setting.  It is more important to be present for your children than to get the tent up in record time, even if it means stopping for a cuddle now and then (did I mention that the tent took two hours to erect?? TWO HOURS).

All my own work

In spite of this somewhat pessimistic sounding reflection of camping with toddlers, I would actually go again because the camping side of it I really enjoyed.  There is so much freedom in leaving behind your worries and possessions and being much closer to nature, it is easy to leave your problems behind when you can watch a sunset or sun rise and enjoy the peace of being surrounded by trees and the feeling of grass underfoot. I didn't even mind the midnight walk to the porta loos (thanks tiny bladder) or the three minute shower (the motion detector light went off halfway through), there is a certain novelty to be found in cooking on a single ring camping stove and drinking wine from an enamel mug, I hope it doesn't wear off and I hope that there will be many more camping trips for our family in the future.

Special thanks to Neill and Hannah for being so kind, patient and organised. And to Charlotte for lending us her beautiful bell tent.