Revelations en France

Yesterday I returned from a week’s holiday in France with my husband and our boys.  There are many things that are really great about going on holiday, here are a few:

Having my husband to help me.  My poor hubby works in London so has a long commute to work and back every day, I am thankful that he is around in the evenings and at weekends and am well aware that many mothers don’t even have this, but to have him there 24/7 to help is really great.  (I also quite like him, you know, so it's nice having him around!)

Having only a few possessions with us.  I love this part of being on holiday, it always reminds me of how little I need to get by, be happy, have a good time.  I took a few luxuries with me like my Kindle for reading, my laptop so I could catch up on some writing, my journal, a hair dryer, that sort of thing, but not having to look around my house thinking about everything that needs doing, and not having so much stuff to tidy away daily provides such a break and a rest.

A change of scenery.  Being in a different place is great because you get to see different sights every day, being at home, although we get out and about a lot, it is often to the same places week in and week out, and seeing different types of buildings and streets, flora and fauna is really exciting.

Being more relaxed about what we eat.  We usually eat pretty healthily and I make about 80% of our meals from scratch but on holiday I excuse myself from this (although I like to eat healthy food, I do not particularly enjoy cooking it) and use frozen and easy to cook food when we are on holiday.

Sitting in the car.  As sad as It sounds this is probably one of my favourite things about being on holiday, we travel by car to visit different places, usually by the scenic route to enjoy the views and I get to read my book, the babies sleep and I can enjoy looking out of the window at the different sights, I find this most relaxing.

Enjoying my children more.  Although I am with them all week, they are often off playing in playgrounds, playing with friends in their bedrooms or taking part in activities, but on holiday there is a much more intensive closeness because we are doing things for them and with them.  So for example walking round a museum requires much more of our attention in stopping them running off/climbing on the exhibits/getting they to focus on something and we therefore get to experience them more.  I realise I am not selling this so far, it is hard work, but the things they come out with that I might otherwise miss, or might not be said are brilliant, (Biscuit said one evening “When I am older I am going to get a motorbike, then I will be the best man in the world, like Jesus!”) seeing them achieve new things (Boris went down the water slide in the swimming pool for the first time, he was really brave, he was scared, I could see by his face, but he did it anyway and I felt so proud) and watching them play together is priceless.  We also didn’t have TV or internet connection so were far less distracted than we would be normally.

HOWEVER

I am sooo glad to be home.  Begin away makes you realise the things you miss doesn’t it, and it’s make me immensely thankful for some things that I haven’t really considered before. Here are some things I am newly thankful for:

Speaking English as a first language.  How lucky am I that I speak English??  It’s spoken in so many places around the world, and although I do make attempts to speak the language of the countries I am lucky enough to visit, I am not great at it and we can often ask “parlez vous Anglais?” and continue an otherwise disjointed and confused conversation in my native tongue.

Being born in the UK.  I am so thankful for being born in the UK, it has given me so many opportunities that people from other countries might not have had, we are so lucky to live in the UK with so much freedom and relative safety.  Also being able to speak the language of the people who are native to the country is so wonderful and I have renewed sympathy for people who have moved here and are not yet able to speak the language.

Access to lots of delicious vegan food. The French are great at food, but they aren’t great at vegan food!! And by vegan food I am talking about processed food because the fruits vegetables here are really great, fresh, tasty, huge variety, seasonal and without all the packaging you are encumbered with in the UK.  However if you are after a Linda McCartney sausage, and tin of baked beans, a carton of oat milk or some dairy free cheese you will be out of luck.   There is a growing variety of convenient vegan food in the UK which is so liberating and exciting.

Having a sofa to sit on.  We have spent this week in a static caravan and there is no sofa, just a bench round a table with a soft-ish pad of it.  I miss my sofa, it’s big and squashy and soft and fluffy and I love it and I am so happy to be back snuggled up on it with a big cup of tea (only small cups here, sad times). I realise that being able to afford a holiday at all is the height of luxury relatively speaking so I am well aware how ungrateful it sounds to be complaining about a lack of sofa, but you know #firstworldproblems.

So yeah, we had a great time, but I really am glad to be home. Now where’s my cup of tea?

We got caught in a downpour one day, Boris gave me two giant leaves to cover myself and Nut!

Feeling inspired

Isn't it amazing how levels of energy, motivation for things, the spirit of creativity comes in dips and peaks? It's seems like for a long time I have been in a dip, well more of a pit really when it comes to creativity.  And of course when you are in a pit, you can't see what's over the top so you have no idea how long it's going to last. Eventually the dip ends, it has to end, even though it feels like it never will and when it does the feelings of wanting to create are so strong and powerful they just can't be ignored.

After having my "Ah ha" moment last week where I realised that being creative was just something I HAD to do, I picked up a book I had downloaded onto my Kindle months and months ago.  I had read a few pages, but at the time it didn't speak to me so I moved onto something else.  This time however it was absolutely spot on with where I was at. Everything the book said spoke to and resonated with how I have been feeling. The book is called "The Rainbow Way - Cultivating Creativity in Motherhood" by Lucy Pearce, (and isn't it amazing that at the exact time I have been feeling like I need to create, the exact book I need to inspire me and get me going is already in my consciousnesses, I didn't need to start looking through Amazon scrolling through pages of books, not knowing which was the right one, it was right there in my Kindle ready and waiting for the moment that I was ready to read it.)

If you fancy getting yourself a copy, click on this link and I get a little moolah!!

So anyway I am plowing through this book and I am practically shouting "YES" at every page because it is exactly how I have been feeling and not knowing that it was ok to feel that way.  The book talks about how there are two different types of mothers (well actually there are lots of types but she is speaking to mothers who want to be creative) they are  Earth mothers and Rainbow Creative mothers.  Earth mothers derive all their satisfaction from life through their mothering and Creative Rainbow mothers need to spend time on their creativity in order to feel completely fulfilled.  And of course this doesn't mean that Earth mothers aren't creative, but unlike Creative Rainbow mothers they don't have the vital desire to be creative for their own sake and not just as part of bringing up children.

I realised that all this time I have been thinking I was an Earth mother, or at least trying to be an Earth mother and wondering why I was failing so miserably at it, when in actual fact I am a Rainbow Creative mother and when I acknowledge this fact I not only stop feeling guilty about failing to be a good Earth mother and wondering why it didn't fulfil me like I always imagined it would, but also give myself permission to be the creative mother I am.

I felt there were so many unspoken words in this book, it spoke for me, on behalf of me and how I have been feeling, saying all the things I have wanted to say but have felt were too selfish, too self-praising to actually say, almost taboo.  Things like:

"Those who do not understand this renaissance that creative mothers experience try to reassure us and quiet down our fire: You have all the time in the world to paint and write, babies are only young once. Don't be selfish, you need to focus on your children.
They do not understand that this way madness and sadness lie."

"The truth of the matter is that the creative mother who is unable to create, will not be a better mother, instead she is unable to mother properly either.  For the creative mother, creativity is her life force that makes her bloom.  Take that from her and you take her soul"

"For all mothers their over-riding love and commitment to their children shone through their words.  Which is why being a creative mother was such a soul battle - they were being pulled between two absolute priorities."

"The Rainbow Mother is often perceived, either in her own mind, or those of others, as a misfit,. A dreamer and creatrix, she is always fluttering like a butterfly from one project to another, always trying new things.  She regularly needs to descend into her creative depths, bringing visions between the physical world and dream-time."

This describes me perfectly:

"The Creative Rainbow Mother's home, despite her often being a real home-body, tends to reflect her abundant yet chaotic approach to life - with half-finished projects, creative materials and inspiration, and mess, all around her.  She does not prioritize housework over soul work! Not for her the routines of the Earth Mother nor the consistence which society tells her she must provide for her children in order to be a good mother. .......The Creative Rainbow Mother regularly needs to fly free,. And the truth is that she is a divided soul......But she needs her home, her partner and children to help her to ground her energy and keep her in this world - and so there is a constant tension built into her relationships."

"For many mothers, myself included, who are instinctively drawn to the philosophy of attachment parenting....the need to be our children's everything in the early months and years, can be deeply draining to creative spirits that are used to long periods of solitude, quiet and concentration.  We aspire to be totally devoted mothers, and yet find that we cannot."

Are any of you shouting "YES" to any of these quotes?  If you are the please, get on board, we could go on this journey together!

Anyway, going back to that last quote, the author of the book, Lucy Pearce goes on to quote another artist/author called Leonie Dawson, who, by happy coincidence, or cosmic relevance or holy destiny, I just happen to have been simultaneously looking into as I have been reading the book (A friend pointed me to her a long time ago, and at the time I had dismissed, but again, like with the book, suddenly now seems relevant).  I had no idea Leonie Dawson would be quoted in the book, and then to my surprise I also see Leonie Dawson recommending "The Rainbow Way" on her website!!  It's all meant to be!!  So I immediately ordered Leonie Dawson's Shining Life and Biz workbooks, wall planner and diary. And whaduyaknow they arrived this morning!! Sooooo excited to get started.  I am so ready to take on 2016 and make things happen.
If you are interested in buying the Leonie Dawson Workbooks then click on this LINK and I get a bit of moolah from Leonie if you decide to buy them!!  How awesome is that!

I currently have that wonderful feeling that doesn't come very often where you feel like anything is possible, that your dreams can come true, that you CAN achieve the things you want in life, you just need to make it happen. I really am excited to get going and seeing where all this goes in the coming year.  

Keep in touch you beautiful people xxx