Easter Morning Acclamation

Hi friends, I haven't posted for ages even though I've had posts in mind, I wanted to tell you about my Easter but that seems ages ago, and so much has happened since then, including the death of an old family member whom I was very fond of.  I am sure in time I will have found some meaning in her passing to share with you but in the meantime I will share with you about what happened to me on Easter morning:

The day before Easter my eldest son lost a tooth, we performed the age old ritual of putting it in an envelope under his pillow then promptly forgot about it till 5am Easter morning, at which point my sweet husband woke me up in a panic to remind me to quickly swap it for a pound as per the tooth fairy exchange system.  (Husband had a bad back which was why he didn't get up.)
After doing said swap and placing his lost tooth in a little tin, my mind was transported of Easter morning two thousand years ago and how the women had visited the tomb in the early hours of the morning to prepare Jesus' body with oils and spices, and I decided to step outside onto the garden.
It was still dark but a faint glow over the roofs of the houses indicated dawn, I took out my ear plugs and my ears were met by what can only be described as a cacophony of bird song,  it was absolutely glorious! The whole of nature was up and celebrating the Risen Christ! My whole garden was full of life, full of the beauty of spring, we had robin chicks in the ivy, blue tits in the tit box, our tad poles were wiggling all around their bucket and little green shoots of lettuce, runner beans and courgettes were popping up in their trays. The whole of nature was out on all it's awesomeness clapping its hands for new life springing up from the ground which in turn celebrates the new life we receive through Jesus.

Then, in the back of my mind I kept thinking I could hear a faint "mummy, mummy" emanating from inside the house. Thinking my littlest one was calling me I reluctantly I left the garden and headed back upstairs thinking as I went how frustrating and typical it was to be drawn away from the beautiful and intimate moment with God by the call of my ever present offspring (now interested that this work contains the word "Spring"). But then, before I could begin to get resentful I realised that God gave me the gifts of these children, knowing full well that our intimate moments would be irregular and short lived and he transcends this and meets me daily where I am. He knocks on the door of my heart as I hang washing, as I read bedtime stories, as I scrub dirty dishes and as I kiss bumped knees.  God knows life, he creates it every year without fail in all its chaotic, noisy spring-splendidness, so he understands how our own little lives call to us, distract us and keep our minds busy on more earthly and less heavenly things. Being called by my children doesn't mean missing out on moments with God, it means glorifying God through honouring the lives of my children with my own service and sacrifice, and in turn I receive blessings.
Life is full of seasons, and this is just one I am traveling through right now, and trying to enjoy the journey as I go.  As it says in Ecclesiastes 3:

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."

For me perhaps now is not a time for endless meditation on the wonders of God's creation, it is not a time for hours of quiet Bible study and prayer, but at least for that small moment on Easter morning God gave me the gift of pondering the new life in him and in the world, but he didn't let me forget the responsibility he has given me to cultivate and nurture the life he has given me, and how that is just as important a form of worship as bathing myself in the mystery and majesty of Easter morning.


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Corona encouragement

Just a quick message from me to tell you in the spirit of trying to do something productive and helpful in these trying times instead of withering away with anxiety I have made some affirmation cards, please feel free to print them off, cut them up and use them for your self, stick them round the house, pop through a letterbox, tape to a lamp post, etc etc whatever you like. 

Corona Virus days 1-3 Social Distancing

On Tuesday I received the message that our weekly Forest School was cancelled due to Government advice regarding Corona Virus.  I cried.  Not long after this every single other of my home ed groups were cancelled and we were faced with the prospect of having no activities or meets and not seeing any friends.  For a person who is pretty heavily reliant on chatting with friends for my mental health, this was very very bad news. I quickly broke my Instagram lent fast in an effort to avoid feeling totally isolated and jumped online to feel part of a community. 

We have managed to pass the time pretty well over the past three days, one visit to some woods, packed lunch included, a morning at a local nature park with playground and today was our first day where we could be considered isolated as we didn't go out. We spent the day reading books, the boys played, we did some art activities, and a I spent a lot of time telling the boys they would have to wait for their next meal before more food (seriously are they never full up?).

I am trying to find some brain space to reflect on what is happening, but it is challenging as the boys seem to be picking up on a vibration or energy in their air of panic, anxiety and fear, even though hubs and I are trying to remain calm and not panicked (though inside I am pretty stressed out and have an aching jaw from clenching my teeth all night and half the day) and are therefore absolutely bonkers!

However I have been able to stretch my brain just enough to arrive at the following observations:

• This whole thing would never have happened if people didn't eat animals,
• The UK is in a particularly difficult situation as of the end of the week when schools close because we have a very strong culture of two working parent families, both by force of finances and social pressure.  This means either one half of the workforce is forced to stay off from work, or children will be looked after by at risk grandparents. 
• We have a very strong individualistic culture, so people aren't automatically thinking of others by offering to do their neighbours shopping, or help generally.  Supermarket shelves are empty because people are over buying. I don't know who the people are who are buying more than they need (though I have my suspicions which I won't go into it here at risk of offending) but it most certainly isn't the large families like us, living in tiny houses as they do not have the storage space for stashing away hundreds of loo rolls and tins of baked beans. These people who are hoarding are selfish.  The same goes for the people who are continuing to visit pubs, restaurants and nightclubs etc.  These people are putting others at risk.  Now is not the time for Keep Calm and Carry On.  At times like this, the bravest and hardest thing to do might just be to stay home. 
• A couple of weeks ago before this who thing really got serious in the UK the MPs gushed on Question Time about how we were all going to pull together and look out for each other, the "spirit of the blitz" and all that.  There are glimmers of this but overall my feeling is that no one remembers what the spirit of the Blitz is, sacrificing your own wants for the needs of others is a lost concept to most people these days. Our parents have lived through a long period of relative prosperity, peace and financial security, so there is no genetic memory of having to band together, we have inherited an attitude of expecting everything to turn out just fine and when faced with the prospect of it not all being fine, people are turning inwards not outwards. 
• Maybe something good will come from this whole disaster, it is forcing some families to spend more time together, friends and family members are looking out for each other, there are neighbours sending notes round offering help, there are small cracks of light breaking through I have hope that there are still individuals out there who think of others.   I worry of course for those who are not able to get away from toxic or abusive family members, single working parents, those who have lost their job because of this and the myriad other people who are being so negatively effected by this. 
• The world will be different afterwards.
• I am incredibly thankful that I do not have to work, that my husband is able to work from home and that I feel safe an comfortable in my home. 

In my own small way I am trying to do something positive with this whole thing.  I am not in a position to be able to look after anyone's children, visit the elderly, do supermarket runs etc because  we are having to pretty much isolate ourselves because of some health conditions in my family which puts them at risk, but I am sharing poetry on Instagram and will be sharing a few of the activities we are doing to pass the time which I hope might inspire others and put some beauty into the world

I intend on updating this journal every few days, sharing how we are managing, the problems we encounter and tricks and tips on mentally and emotionally surviving this. 

If you're interested in supporting me with my writing and art I'd love it if you visited my page on patreon where you can read more of my thoughts, musings, ideas and art.