Thursday, 17 March 2016

Butterflies, babies and breast cancer

One of the great things about Facebook is that you are able to keep in touch with people who, in real life you might have lost touch with altogether.  Perhaps because you didn't know them that well to begin with, or you didn't have that much in common, you didn't live near each other etc.  Even though you probably wouldn't see them again in real life it's wonderful to be able to see their life journeys unfold with all the highs and lows that we all experience.

I have recently been particularly thankful for Facebook because it meant that I have been able to follow the story of Heidi Loughlin.

Heidi is a lady that I met a year or so ago at a church toddler group with her two young boys.  We chatted maybe a handful of times, she was witty, intelligent and we had things in common so we because friends on Facebook, as you do.  Not long after we met she moved away, so in any other circumstances we would have lost touch as we hadn't really known each other well enough to built a friendship.  But thanks so the virtual world we were able to stay in touch.

I would see the odd post that she put up now and again, pictures of her children, that sort of thing. Then things changed.

She shared possibly the worst news you could read about a friend, acquaintance, anyone.  She had cancer.

Heidi has an unusual and aggressive form of breast cancer called inflammatory breast cancer, but what has made her story even more moving is that shortly before being diagnosed with cancer, she discovered she was pregnant.

To help keep her family and friends up to date with what was going on, Heidi started a blog.  But because Heidi has an absolutely wicked sense of humor, her blog became something bigger than she initially thought it would be.  She has been on her local radio station, in the newspaper and on TV, and is practically a local celebrity. She is doing much to raise awareness of inflammatory breast cancer as well as helping to raise money for several charities.

Her story resonates with me particularly at this moment in time because I am currently entering my 28th week of pregnancy. The same number of weeks gestation that Heidi's baby, Ally was when she was delivered by C section into this world so that Heidi could continue with her cancer treatment.

Devastatingly Ally moved onto the next place sooner than anyone could have imagined.  I just cannot perceive the pain and heartache that Heidi and her family have been through and are still going through now.

It is because of this that I have felt compelled to help raise money for one of Heidi's chosen charities, and for Heidi to help her to achieve her "bucket and spade" list.

I have been inspired to paint a butterfly for Ally and Heidi because in the midst of her despair this amazingly strong woman found comfort in the image of a butterfly. She shared this quote on her blog:

"A butterfly lights beside us, like a sunbeam....and for a brief moment it's glory and beauty belong to our world....but then it flies on again, and although we wish it could have stayed, we are so thankful to have seen it at all." Author unknown. 

Of course money doesn't take away pain, or cancer, but it can at least make life easier, and hopefully a little lighter and more joyful.

So it is for this reason that I am selling a limited number of prints of this butterfly painting, and will be giving 100% of profits to Heidi and her chosen charity Mummy's Star.

I will also be auctioning the original painting.


Not only has Heidi's story moved me emotionally, it has also moved me to examine my breasts more closely.  And I would like to take this opportunity to call out particularly to any pregnant or breastfeeding mamas out there who might have some unexplained changed to their breasts, to get your breasts checked out and not to leave without an acceptable answer. Our breasts go through many changes during pregnancy and breastfeeding but it's really important to know what is normal and what isn't. Inflammatory breast cancer quite often does not appear as a lump, but a spreading redness and cellulite type appearance. It could be mistaken for mastitis in a breastfeeding mother so it's even more important to be mindful of the symptoms. 

If you would like to purchase one of these prints please visit either my Etsy shop or my Facebook page.  I am selling them for £18.00 per print plus p and p.

The print is approximately 5 inches high and 7 inches wide.  It is professionally printed onto heavy weight paper using archival inks. Each print is numbered and signed.


Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Learning and Listening

I have been learning loads and feeling very creative these last few weeks.  I am feeling like I am much more able to focus on my goals and what I want to achieve.  It feels good.

I have read and watched a few inspiring books and videos recently that have really helped.  Especially with my focus. Just little things from each of them pop into my head every now and again and remind me where my focus needs to be. For example I used to get this feeling whenever I saw some crafty item or arty thing where I would think "ooh I could make that, that would be a real money spinner" and I would start to think about making that thing myself and selling it in my Etsy shop.  Sometimes I would get as far as buying materials and making one of them.  Then my motivation and energy for the idea would fizzle out and I would lose interest and move onto the next money making idea. This would happen again and again, and I would even get jealous of other people succeeding at projects that I "could" do, but wasn't.  I would end up feeling fed up and just do nothing.

Through reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert I realised that I need to focus on doing the thing I really love rather than trying to do things that will make money. Because, firstly, those things probably wouldn't ever make me money any way because my heart wouldn't really be in them (and people would see that) and secondly because although I might not ever make money doing what I love, at least I can die a happy woman knowing I squeezed every drop of my passion from me into something I love.  So whenever I get that silly feeling like "Oh I could make tea cup candles or doily lamp shades or scrabble tile art,"  I stop and think to myself  "Helen, let someone else do those, you can't do everything.  You love painting, that's what your heart is calling you to do.  Do that"  And I feel much better.

Holy Humming Bird

I recently watched a TED Talk video on You Tube about how you attract buyers, not by WHAT you sell but by WHY you are selling it. I found it really helpful and inspiring, a strong reminder that people aren't just interested in my art, but they are interested in me and what motivates me, what inspires me, what calls to my soul.

I am currently taking the Kelly Rae Roberts Flying Lessons Ecourse which reinforces this message.  I have been following Artist Kelly Rae Roberts for years (since 2009 in fact) and have really enjoyed watching her journey unfold.  She produced this ecourse back in 2012 I think so I have known about it for a while, but it wasn't until recently that I was ready to invest in myself and take the course.  (Leonie Dawson says you get $10 back for every dollar you invest in yourself)   It's really exciting and has helped me massively with my focus and how to run a creative business. She talks a lot about being yourself and letting people see the real YOU.  So I am working on this and making it more of a focus for my blog.

As for my art, well I can't get enough time for it!! I just want to do it all the time now and am really enjoying working in water colour, which isn't a medium I used that much in the past. It's a wonderful feeling to finally be developing my own ideas in a natural, organic way.

Of course I am faced with the daily challenge of balancing parenting my two gorgeous boys with this strong desire to create, I desperately want to me the "perfect" parent and do everything right, but I am learning to let go a little, to realise that I can't ever be (no one is) perfect, but managing the guilt is hard, always feeling like I fall short is hard.  But I know I can't ignore the whispers of my heart to create these paintings or else a part of me dies, and a half dead mother is no good to anyone.

I don't know where all this is going to take me, all this muddling through parenting and snatching minutes here and there to paint, I am hoping eventually I will be able to sell something! (Maybe one day I can even bring in an income through it.  Shhhh don't say that too loud, I don't want to scare the idea off)  But at the moment it's bringing me joy, and for now that's enough.