The Power of Positive (and Negative) Thinking

A little while ago I was doing my usual jog round the lake, I was doing a good pace, about normal, I wasn't puffed out or aching in any way, it was an average jog I felt ok, until for some reason in my head I began replaying a conversation I had with another mum several years ago.  I don't know why this conversation came to mind but I was replaying it back in my head word-for-word.

The conversation was about childbirth.  I was describing the experience of giving birth to my first child.  It wasn't a particular positive experience for me and I remember clearly saying in my head to myself as I was jogging along "I was so scared", recalling the experience.  At that exact moment, for no reason that I could explain I stopped running.

I wasn't tired, out of breath, in pain, but the power of that negative phrase quite literally stopped me in my tracks.

This led me to think about how powerful a negative inner voice can be and how mindful we have to be of it.  It was also a powerful reminder of the importance of using our positive inner voice.

If that one negative phrase could be so powerful so as to stop me from running think how powerful positive phrases and affirmations could be in our everyday lives.

It's no secret I am  a fan of positive affirmations, I love writing affirmations for all sorts of people and scenarios, I love sticking them round the house and keeping them in my purse, they help me to keep a positive inner voice.

In my Etsy shop I have several series of affirmation cards available for digital download, but I have also put together an exclusive set of affirmation cards just for new subscribers to my mailing list.

You can print them off and use them round your house, or gift them to friends or family, place them somewhere that you'll see them every day.

You can subscribe right here and receive a link to these downloadable affirmation cards immediately. You'll also receive notifications of new blog posts, newsletters, giveaways and updates.

As for me and my thrice weekly jogs, I am focusing hard on positive thoughts to keep me running and I haven't stopped so far.

Subscribe to my mailing list

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name

Last Name

50 Days of Summer

Today marks the first day of 50 days (give or take) till then end of the summer holidays and the beginning of the September school term.

I love a challenge so I am using these days to challenge myself in a number of ways.

I am going to set myself several challenges that I will go over the 50 days.

I am not going to beat myself up is I miss a day or two, I haven't failed if I don't do the things I say I am going to do EVERY DAY.  But I will be aiming to make positive changes to make life better over the next 50 days.

Will you join me?

Here are some of the things I am challenging myself to do:

Eat nourishing foods 80% of the time.

Do a daily Bible study (I am using Day by Day with God),

Write down 3 gratitudes daily,

Pray daily (I sometimes forget!!)

Read to the children every day,

Post on Instagram every day for my business,

Get outdoors every day,

Maybe the most important one:

Go to bed before 12PM 5 nights out of 7, (I was thinking of calling this the "go to sleep challenge"!)

I might add more to this as the days go by, but I am excited to do something to motivate myself and discipline myself to commit to this, hopefully these will become habits that I will continue into the Autumn term and perhaps the rest of the year (or life?)

Creating good habits is the theme of an article I am writing for a new Home Ed Journal that began publication last month.  You can still buy the July edition where you can find my article on how to support other parents (and yourself) to be a better parent.

Check it out HERE for both a print and digital copy.

I hear you mama

I am a very lucky lady in the sense that I very rarely feel lonely.  I have a good network of friends, other mothers and home ed groups so I am often surrounded by other people and when I am not I enjoy my own company and the company of my children. Loneliness and isolation are not feelings I often experience in my day to day life.

Unfortunately this morning I felt these things in the place you really aren't supposed to.  Church.

Going to church with very young children has a lot of challenges.  In the church I attend there isn't any childcare provision for under 3's. If you have an under 3 you have the option of staying in the service or sitting in the small chapel at the back of the church where some toys are provided and the sermon is wired through so you can hear it.   For this reason I usually leave my littlest boy at home with his daddy on a Sunday so I can enjoy the service with the rest of the congregation and my two older children go off to junior church, I normally have a wonderful time.

When I bring my littlest one I prefer to stay in the service as I find it difficult to hear the sermon and join in with the singing etc from the chapel at the back. However this means I have to be towed round the church by the finger by my 1-and-a-half-year-old, whilst he explores every nook and cranny chattering to himself and making demands of me to go this way or that (a little bit embarrassing and uncomfortable to say the least although I know no one really minds). As I am sure you can imagine this is not very conducive to a spiritual experience.  As it happened, this particular morning I was sat in the chapel at the back with my little one when the minister invited the congregation to pair up with a neighbour and discuss their experience of the holy spirit.  I sat in the chapel, on my own. I felt forgotten and unheard. I felt like my voice, my opinion, my experience, as a mother didn't matter, wasn't important.  No one else was there to hear my experience. I had no neighbour.

Now I love my church, it has been an incredibly welcoming place and I know this wasn't intentional and maybe on any other day this wouldn't have happened, there are often other parents in the chapel, but on this day there wasn't.  I felt lonely and unheard and unseen.

Next the minister went on to pray and asked the congregation if they could close their eyes and raise their hand if they wanted to receive the holy spirit for the first time, or anew.  I sat looking out of the chapel's glass doors whist putting together a farmyard puzzle with my boy feeling very far from the Holy Spirit. I felt like I was on another planet to everyone else there.  Whilst everyone else was on planet holy, I was on planet mother.

("blessed are the weak in spirit for theirs in the kingdom of God" right?)

Now this isn't a blog post about how church should be doing more for mothers or about how motherhood isn't as revered or elevated in church as much as it should be.  I could write a blog post about that, but this one isn't it.  There is good news  (Isn't there always when it comes to Christianity?!).

I was eventually towed out of the chapel and back to the general area of our seat where I was pleased to be able to take part in the final hymn.  It was a special hymn to me called "How Great Thou Art".  The words are magnificent and the melody very moving and it was played at my wedding.
(Incidentally "Guide Me Oh Thou Great Redeemer" was a hymn sung at our wedding and was sung at the wedding of Harry and Meghan yesterday, I just need to hear "Shine Jesus Shine" tomorrow for a full house!)

I started singing and belting out this fabulous old song and was completely uplifted, it brought tears to my eyes and I was struck with the message that I am not alone.  I realised that I am not unheard, I am not unseen, I have not been forgotten.
Because even when it feels like I am invisible to everyone around me God sees me, God hears me, and God is with me, right here is the misery and majesty of motherhood.

He saw me yesterday as I cleared up a spilled drink for the third time that day, He saw me the day before that when I fell asleep on the sofa out of sheer exhaustion whilst trying to read my children a story.  He saw me the day before that when I sat crying on the sofa because one of my children had moved and subsequently lost the back door keys moments before we needed to leave the house.  And He saw me the day before that and the day before that and the day before that.  And he saw me today being towed round church trying in vain to listen to the sermon, he saw me sitting with my baby as company whilst everyone else was in prayer, He saw me changing a nappy in the toilets whilst everyone else worshipped.

And do you know what mama?  He sees you too.

You may not even believe it, but it's true.  He sees you and He hears you and He loves you and He is with you and He has not forgotten you.  And I really think He wants you to know he is by your side all the time, He feels every pain, heartache and struggle you go through, you are not alone, you are not forgotten.  Even in the depths of loneliness, in the deepest trenches He is in the mud with us.  Motherhood bring us to our knees and He is there right next to us holding our hand and wanting us to know that all this is worth something.  When you have reached rock bottom and it feels like there is no way back up, when you are at your lowest low, when you feel totally alone, He is there, telling you to "hang in there mama" and "you've got this" and "I hear you" except it is so much more important and meaningful and 100% true from him, not just empty sentiments, but real true encouragement.

And you know what else, He can help us.  If we ask Him He will help us up from that trench.  He will take your hand and lift you back up into the light.  Just ask. God is like the ultimate listening partnership.  He listens and listens and listens and won't try to fix your problems or give you unsolicited advice or tell you it's all your own fault because of such-and-such a reason, or tell you about this one time when He had a really bad day (remember THAT day?!), but if you ask Him He will help you and he will speak to you, just be quiet and listen back.

He sees you, He hears you, He has not forgotten you, you are not alone.