After having my "Ah ha" moment last week where I realised that being creative was just something I HAD to do, I picked up a book I had downloaded onto my Kindle months and months ago. I had read a few pages, but at the time it didn't speak to me so I moved onto something else. This time however it was absolutely spot on with where I was at. Everything the book said spoke to and resonated with how I have been feeling. The book is called "The Rainbow Way - Cultivating Creativity in Motherhood" by Lucy Pearce, (and isn't it amazing that at the exact time I have been feeling like I need to create, the exact book I need to inspire me and get me going is already in my consciousnesses, I didn't need to start looking through Amazon scrolling through pages of books, not knowing which was the right one, it was right there in my Kindle ready and waiting for the moment that I was ready to read it.)
If you fancy getting yourself a copy, click on this link and I get a little moolah!!
So anyway I am plowing through this book and I am practically shouting "YES" at every page because it is exactly how I have been feeling and not knowing that it was ok to feel that way. The book talks about how there are two different types of mothers (well actually there are lots of types but she is speaking to mothers who want to be creative) they are Earth mothers and Rainbow Creative mothers. Earth mothers derive all their satisfaction from life through their mothering and Creative Rainbow mothers need to spend time on their creativity in order to feel completely fulfilled. And of course this doesn't mean that Earth mothers aren't creative, but unlike Creative Rainbow mothers they don't have the vital desire to be creative for their own sake and not just as part of bringing up children.
I realised that all this time I have been thinking I was an Earth mother, or at least trying to be an Earth mother and wondering why I was failing so miserably at it, when in actual fact I am a Rainbow Creative mother and when I acknowledge this fact I not only stop feeling guilty about failing to be a good Earth mother and wondering why it didn't fulfil me like I always imagined it would, but also give myself permission to be the creative mother I am.
I felt there were so many unspoken words in this book, it spoke for me, on behalf of me and how I have been feeling, saying all the things I have wanted to say but have felt were too selfish, too self-praising to actually say, almost taboo. Things like:
"Those who do not understand this renaissance that creative mothers experience try to reassure us and quiet down our fire: You have all the time in the world to paint and write, babies are only young once. Don't be selfish, you need to focus on your children.
They do not understand that this way madness and sadness lie."
"The truth of the matter is that the creative mother who is unable to create, will not be a better mother, instead she is unable to mother properly either. For the creative mother, creativity is her life force that makes her bloom. Take that from her and you take her soul"
"For all mothers their over-riding love and commitment to their children shone through their words. Which is why being a creative mother was such a soul battle - they were being pulled between two absolute priorities."
"The Rainbow Mother is often perceived, either in her own mind, or those of others, as a misfit,. A dreamer and creatrix, she is always fluttering like a butterfly from one project to another, always trying new things. She regularly needs to descend into her creative depths, bringing visions between the physical world and dream-time."
This describes me perfectly:
"The Creative Rainbow Mother's home, despite her often being a real home-body, tends to reflect her abundant yet chaotic approach to life - with half-finished projects, creative materials and inspiration, and mess, all around her. She does not prioritize housework over soul work! Not for her the routines of the Earth Mother nor the consistence which society tells her she must provide for her children in order to be a good mother. .......The Creative Rainbow Mother regularly needs to fly free,. And the truth is that she is a divided soul......But she needs her home, her partner and children to help her to ground her energy and keep her in this world - and so there is a constant tension built into her relationships."
"For many mothers, myself included, who are instinctively drawn to the philosophy of attachment parenting....the need to be our children's everything in the early months and years, can be deeply draining to creative spirits that are used to long periods of solitude, quiet and concentration. We aspire to be totally devoted mothers, and yet find that we cannot."
Are any of you shouting "YES" to any of these quotes? If you are the please, get on board, we could go on this journey together!
Anyway, going back to that last quote, the author of the book, Lucy Pearce goes on to quote another artist/author called Leonie Dawson, who, by happy coincidence, or cosmic relevance or holy destiny, I just happen to have been simultaneously looking into as I have been reading the book (A friend pointed me to her a long time ago, and at the time I had dismissed, but again, like with the book, suddenly now seems relevant). I had no idea Leonie Dawson would be quoted in the book, and then to my surprise I also see Leonie Dawson recommending "The Rainbow Way" on her website!! It's all meant to be!! So I immediately ordered Leonie Dawson's Shining Life and Biz workbooks, wall planner and diary. And whaduyaknow they arrived this morning!! Sooooo excited to get started. I am so ready to take on 2016 and make things happen.
If you are interested in buying the Leonie Dawson Workbooks then click on this LINK and I get a bit of moolah from Leonie if you decide to buy them!! How awesome is that!
I currently have that wonderful feeling that doesn't come very often where you feel like anything is possible, that your dreams can come true, that you CAN achieve the things you want in life, you just need to make it happen. I really am excited to get going and seeing where all this goes in the coming year.
Keep in touch you beautiful people xxx