Fast forward to four years later and my life couldn't be more different. This month my second child turned one, how did that even happen? I don't know where the time went! And I am starting to get all reflective with the year coming to an end (December approaching) and thinking about how the last year has been, by far, the hardest of my life.
My life had been thrown into total and utter chaos, and at about 12 weeks in I lost it, I broke down and admitted defeat. I asked for help.
(Only on the internet though, wasn't going to admit it to an actual person.)
And do you know what I got told?
I got told to suck. it. up.
Well in not so many words anyway.
A lady on a natural parenting forum told me that I needed to stop seeing my baby's (perfectly normal) behaviour as a problem that needed to be fixed, she said it was only a problem if I thought it was a problem, and to embrace the tiredness! Because this too shall pass.
So I should have been really offended right? No sympathy, no practical advice at all, just "stop making a fuss and get on with it." But the thing is I am actually so thankful for that lady. She was honest and what she said was the best piece of parenting advice I have ever been given. It was exactly what I needed to hear. It was definitely an "Aha!" moment for me. It solved all my problems in one fast sweep. And year one of parenting turned out to be probably the happiest year of my life.
And I can't help but wonder if I will look back to these crazy days, the chaos, the endless laundry, the sleepless nights the toys, the mess and wonder why I didn't enjoy it more, why I didn't savor every moment. Because I know that - just like that lady on that forum told me in her wisdom - This too shall pass.