tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89567056626842070652024-03-12T17:29:11.139-07:00Hello!Welcome to my blog, I'm Helen, a home educator, home maker, homesteader and mum to four wild boys living in the Forest of Dean, musing, writing and painting my way through the messy majesty of motherhood.imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.comBlogger232125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-5952790580367155692024-02-25T12:59:00.000-08:002024-02-25T12:59:04.456-08:00Social Media Fast - my 40 days offline<p> It's Lent!</p><p>This is a special time of year for some Christians as we prepare to celebrate Jesus' death and resurrection on Good Friday followed by Easter. </p><p>This time of preparation was traditionally used as a time of fasting, remembering Jesus' 40 days and nights in the desert where he fasted from food and drink and was tested by the devil. </p><p>Since the 300's AD people fasted during lent, and later people would fast from foods like eggs, milk and butter, which is why we make pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, to use up these items. </p><p>This Lent I am fasting from sugar and social media, and I want to tell you that so far, just under two weeks in, it has been wonderful. Some might say I am a bit of a cheat thought because I do indulge in these two vices on Sundays. Lent is, after all 40 days and nights EXCLUDING Sundays, because on Sundays we celebrate the risen Christ. I have been using two really good devotionals to help me remain focused and committed to the fast, the first is called Celtic Lent, 40 days of devotions to Easter by David Cole, and the second is called The 40-day Social Media Fast by Wendy Speake. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKCHsocTuE-7x6t475wQbEt4zpxnrwE8JdprCmq1rbf657dnAkPstWlFat5nGiluhfwyNL6LQ00hotERCN-P103rktDK5pdfep3CDet5Wb3aWI0TsX80M_6rOFUpnl2iCoPEQ0xkQgZP57eOkTwuWA5EHv9BX6Fc0o87FnMK1nFwUipMCccC5jx2dEgXyv/s3456/20240225_192602.heic" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3456" data-original-width="3456" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKCHsocTuE-7x6t475wQbEt4zpxnrwE8JdprCmq1rbf657dnAkPstWlFat5nGiluhfwyNL6LQ00hotERCN-P103rktDK5pdfep3CDet5Wb3aWI0TsX80M_6rOFUpnl2iCoPEQ0xkQgZP57eOkTwuWA5EHv9BX6Fc0o87FnMK1nFwUipMCccC5jx2dEgXyv/w200-h200/20240225_192602.heic" width="200" /></a></div><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p>I don't want to lecture you about the benefits of giving up sugar, the benefits are pretty well documented (Wendy Speake has also written a 40-day devotional for quitting sugar), what I will tell you thought is that my once a week indulgence of sugar on Sundays is revealing to me how unpleasant an effect sugar actually has on my body. I can't deny the biscuits, syrup soaked pancakes, Turkish delight and cake have tasted delicious, but I could really do without the sluggish, jittery, dizzy, headachy spell I get afterwards. So far my Sundays have been especially unproductive (aside from writing this blog post of course which is fuelled by an especially delicious pistachio flavoured Turkish delight!) Housework and planning have gone out the window as I have stumbled round the house, face buried in my phone, wondering where I put my cup of tea and trying to pull myself together enough to do something productive. </p><p>Needless to say I hope to persist with abstaining from sugar after Lent is over and continue to benefit from the reduction in sugar spikes, the clearer head and the genuine energy to do things around the house that fasting from sugar has generated. </p><p>What I really want to talk about is my break from social media, not so much what I have gained from not going on, which has been a great deal including more time for reading and looking my children in the face, but more especially what I am NOT missing out on. </p><p>Before Lent I am ashamed to say that I was likely addicted to social media, it was an excellent distraction and diversion from the stresses of home educating four wild boys, staring at Facebook videos, one after the other in an endless reel was a hypnotising, dopamine stimulating, but cortisol inducing way of escaping from life. I was like a chain smoker who couldn't resist picking up the next cigarette and lighting up, before I knew it I spent an hour lying in bed watching reel after reel, resulting in an even later night (and tired-er morning) as I lay awake for a further hour, overstimulated and unable to sleep. </p><p>Thankfully, unlike withdrawing from drugs alcohol or cigarettes I have suffered from almost no withdrawal effects. For a few days I was compulsively checking my phone for updates and notifications, I still check my phone for messages but its much less often habitually, and I often go several hours without realising I haven't checked my phone. Now, only 12 days later I am not checking nearly as often. </p><p><b>What I had come to realise before I made my break from social media is that it is almost wholly toxic and bad for us. </b></p><p>There are of course some benefits, such as finding out about home education and church events, and being able to ask people for help of different subjects, connecting with other people. This is of course what sold us all on social media to begin with, connection, but for me, that became a much less used resource than the video reels. So, I'm not saying that social media is all bad, but it had become very unhealthy for me. </p><p>I wasn't just watching reels on Facebook, I was also watching reels on Instagram and twitter and spending significant amounts of time reading posts and comments on Twitter. Thankfully I have never engaged with Tiktok so have not had to deal with that monster. </p><p>I'd say that Instagram was the least toxic of these, the algorithms generally showed me aspirational posts, home education, homesteading and home making ideas. With these sorts of posts there is always the risk of comparison, the "grass is always greener on the other side" feeling, but generally speaking there wasn't too much horrific content. I do sometimes fall victim to felling not-as-good-as the women who seem to have perfect lives, but I have enough sense to know that oftentimes we aren't seeing the full picture.</p><p>Facebook also has generally inoffensive algorithms, they were much less relevant to me, funny kitten videos, people falling from things, hyper speed cleaning videos, that sort of thing.</p><p>By a long shot Twitter was the most toxic. There were two main types of post that I was being show, first, posts which would provoke me to anger, such as those with an anti-Christian, anti-woman, anti-child message, and second, posts which would shock, upset or disgust. The algorithms were wild, showing me things I had never searched for, not would ever want to. I have seen an awful lot of things on twitter that I wish I had never seen, to give you a flavour, I have seen people who were almost certainly being killed, dead babies, women with severe anorexia, images of self-harm, broken limbs and actual p8rn. What is most worrying is that essentially a child could see these things. As I said, I never searched for any of this content, it was what Twitter decided to show me.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHBlfDbBQVPYn_hVBjKK8bqRNIzkHsgkDZ4a4e2UwRgnx9Bg7XqZjjDQoqvg6zroYZW9K_mYn5OVKbsf-xJ6FAn7gu3QJeDVeZb3VUWZEeeeuaGgvp4RSzODvRyO6yCSLQ_-qGgK4nJ0ZXCqOUSj4TrdmqTeuZQZlr-65WPtevnbM-ZIc-Z-GcBGedxe6u/s2400/Screenshot_20240225_173806_Instagram.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2400" data-original-width="1080" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHBlfDbBQVPYn_hVBjKK8bqRNIzkHsgkDZ4a4e2UwRgnx9Bg7XqZjjDQoqvg6zroYZW9K_mYn5OVKbsf-xJ6FAn7gu3QJeDVeZb3VUWZEeeeuaGgvp4RSzODvRyO6yCSLQ_-qGgK4nJ0ZXCqOUSj4TrdmqTeuZQZlr-65WPtevnbM-ZIc-Z-GcBGedxe6u/w90-h200/Screenshot_20240225_173806_Instagram.jpg" width="90" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5oE0-gBW8Cx5IpC13TSWwGWG_-eSikYjSuIuFcMhZAcBmdJmBGlT79HY_W0Im5xP9Yypnmn_n0ntoKtOZoTpbmVpXvvvmIYjMLH068E9LEQTbWUzfT_rnyIcl3LnxTr8BOa2dKDT3RVQsR_Hfb5XGy6isS0WWQkcym904RjohYVsGLND9ghJAOmp534xS/s2400/Screenshot_20240225_174506_Instagram.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2400" data-original-width="1080" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5oE0-gBW8Cx5IpC13TSWwGWG_-eSikYjSuIuFcMhZAcBmdJmBGlT79HY_W0Im5xP9Yypnmn_n0ntoKtOZoTpbmVpXvvvmIYjMLH068E9LEQTbWUzfT_rnyIcl3LnxTr8BOa2dKDT3RVQsR_Hfb5XGy6isS0WWQkcym904RjohYVsGLND9ghJAOmp534xS/w90-h200/Screenshot_20240225_174506_Instagram.jpg" width="90" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWO7blUQ-d-XICAbLje-Si4aavxchWLdACe14VVaTSuB2bF1JAwKtLZsL3PKpyJCtoLwH2qj4O95TWC9CF5J7d9bMNOEDkbr1PZiecbS91rqlhbld4uds436enUQnfd1oHhuvxW2sq51oMJt6PrZfjIdgAa6qjbl8tZqkHiyYvxLzShRcxkP8aGYTo-_cI/s2400/Screenshot_20240225_174146_Chrome.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2400" data-original-width="1080" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWO7blUQ-d-XICAbLje-Si4aavxchWLdACe14VVaTSuB2bF1JAwKtLZsL3PKpyJCtoLwH2qj4O95TWC9CF5J7d9bMNOEDkbr1PZiecbS91rqlhbld4uds436enUQnfd1oHhuvxW2sq51oMJt6PrZfjIdgAa6qjbl8tZqkHiyYvxLzShRcxkP8aGYTo-_cI/w90-h200/Screenshot_20240225_174146_Chrome.jpg" width="90" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Pz9sleVzYFseIjJRGb2TmG7W-C2y0GhxNsbfFWtFGiqocMDJ6BhkS4akhf5TY34Ac8Wvag8UgyYYmMYRE1SQTxotLp1E1wQODlgokmZKc9w4ePr9bzVX7nPbHCQkezaHg87_iRuJ2rhTp_Ahs9njsLHBbtPBU91zmOjvwUbdzXmrTJ-0pWGYHESp0fjD/s2400/Screenshot_20240225_174356_Chrome.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2400" data-original-width="1080" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Pz9sleVzYFseIjJRGb2TmG7W-C2y0GhxNsbfFWtFGiqocMDJ6BhkS4akhf5TY34Ac8Wvag8UgyYYmMYRE1SQTxotLp1E1wQODlgokmZKc9w4ePr9bzVX7nPbHCQkezaHg87_iRuJ2rhTp_Ahs9njsLHBbtPBU91zmOjvwUbdzXmrTJ-0pWGYHESp0fjD/w90-h200/Screenshot_20240225_174356_Chrome.jpg" width="90" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p>A friend told me recently that this difference between Instagram and Twitter is more common knowledge than I had thought, apparently a post search for "France" or "French" on Instagram would show pleasant photos of baguettes in bike baskets, the pretty Parisian women in front of the Eiffel tower, beautiful French landscapes, delicious food and of course manicures (at least Instagram knows I am a woman!) whereas an equivalent search on twitter would show posts and photos of angry protests, rioting and posts with a generally negative tone. I did this search myself and found it to be generally true the only thing they had in common was football (obviously the algorithms don't know me THAT well!) The comments section on Twitter is by far the worst place and where I saw the most disgusting, debased content. </p><p>I haven't been able to manage this very well as an adult, I have found myself feeling deeply disturbed, upset, angry, agitated and repulsed by some of the things I have seen, and I'd like to remind you that I have never searched for any of this content. I am certain that if I had the wherewithal I might have been able to change settings so that I saw less disturbing content, but my point is, children might be seeing this. Children. </p><p>It is hard enough as an adult with a fully developed brain, to extract myself from the endless scrolling. The videos and images are so stimulating and provoke such an addictive response in the brain that it can be very hard to put down your phone and step away from it. They are designed to be like this, to keep us coming back. If social media becomes an addiction, <a href="https://www.ukat.co.uk/addiction/behavioural/social-media/" target="_blank">UK Addiction Treatment Centres </a>says that:</p><p>"An addict [social media] will rely on their device compulsively to satisfy a particular need, dependant on social media to feel balanced and functional. This is because social media use activates those same reward pathways that are triggered when using an addictive substance, such as drugs or alcohol.</p><p>When we spend time on social media platforms, our brain releases small bursts of dopamine, as if to reward us for such a pleasurable activity. Experiencing this neurological response can push us to take part in that behaviour again, using social media to seek instant and constant gratification wherever we are."</p><p>If social media is so potentially addictive for an adult imagine how much more so it might be for a child. </p><p>What is more the content itself is potentially harmful. For example seeing pro-anorexia content has been shown to<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3510717/" target="_blank"> trigger anorexia</a> in those at risk of or recovering from anorexia. There is also evidence that <a href="https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2023-03-21-study-shows-viewing-self-harm-images-online-and-social-media-usually-causes-harm" target="_blank">viewing self-harm increases self-harm</a>, and that watching footage of violence can <a href="https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-TV-Violence-013.aspx#:~:text=Sometimes%2C%20watching%20a%20single%20violent,to%20imitate%20what%20they%20see." target="_blank">increase aggression even in children.</a> </p><p>Because of the unfiltered nature of social media, which, unlike television has very little in the way of editing and regulation, the risk of seeing harmful imagery is high unless restrictions are in place. </p><p>You can see therefore that I am really not missing anything positive from being absent from social media, and I am benefitting from missing a great deal of nasty and unpleasant stuff. One weird thing I have noticed since going media-free has been that I have been so so tired! I have concluded that prior to lent my brain was essentially running purely on sugar and dopamine hits and hyper stimulation from social media. The screen would keep me up late at night with its over-stimulating and troubling viewing, and in the morning, I'd be so tired, I'd need a boost of social media, with it's dopamine hits to switch my brain back on. However because now I am feeling my tiredness, I am going to bed earlier and getting more sleep. </p><p>It's worth mentioning that social media use has been shown to also increase the stress hormone cortisol, according to<a href="https://www.constellationbehavioralhealth.com/blog/what-is-doomscrolling-why-it-happens-and-how-it-affects-your-mental-health/#:~:text=Too%20much%20time%20on%20social,both%20mental%20and%20physical%20exhaustion." target="_blank"> behavioural health experts</a>:</p><p>"Too much time on social media increases stress levels, and levels of the stress hormone cortisol and adrenaline. The more you engage in doomscrolling, the more cortisol and adrenaline are released in your brain and body. This leads to more stress and both mental and physical exhaustion."</p><p>It has been a great relief for me to extract myself from all this harmful content, as well as the constant diet of dopamine and cortisol in unhealthy and inappropriately timed amounts. It has freed me to dig into lots of books, has opened my spirit to more prayer and bible study, turned my face and heart towards my children, turn my body towards housework and even start tackling the growing to-do list. </p><p>I'd like to conclude this post by saying that I'll never become addicted to social media again, that I'm going to use my self-control to only use it appropriately, but I am worried that I won't be able to resist the temptation to scroll once Lent is over. I really don't want to get into those bad habits. This post will have to be a "to be continued" type of post and we will have to wait and see, though probably I'll be too ashamed to mention it if I do get sucked back in. Please do message me if you have any tricks or tips of staying free from social media.</p><p>Have you given up anything for Lent? Have you given up social media or sugar? How are you finding it? Let me know. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-21222791582104709372024-01-27T10:22:00.000-08:002024-01-27T10:22:18.913-08:00Word of the year 2024<p> Hi friends,</p><p>A belated Happy New Year to you all. </p><p>I love the new start that the new year brings. I know some people feel that winter is the worst time to begin a new habit, or break an old one, but for me it is the perfect time. We are passed the shortest day, the evenings are beginning to get lighter, I have seen blossom in a hedgerow and a lamb in a field, it feels like spring is just around the corner, even on the bitterest of frosty days. Hope is in the air.</p><p>For many years now I have chosen a "word of the year" to inspire and motivate me, to give me a focus and to help me be more intentional in my goals, choices and with my time. You may recall last years word was "Joyful"; and if you have been following my blog you might have read my monthly posts where I shared a monthly focus. These monthly focuses really helped me make progress throughout the year and keep my "word of the year" in the forefront of my mind. This year I have a new word and a new approach and I hope that me sharing about it here with you might encourage you to choose a "word of the year" for yourself, it's not too late! It also might encourage you to head over to my <a href="https://www.patreon.com/imperfectlynaturalmama" target="_blank">Patreon </a>where I recently shared a guide to choosing a "word of the year" for yourself as well as some artwork that you can print and display your "word of the year" on. </p><p>So I am sure you're wondering what my word of the year is this year. I had been thinking for a while before new years about this word and how it was something I really needed in my life. It comes off the back of a joyful, but extremely busy and at times stressful year, as well as a year of being sucked more and more into social media based distractions. I was especially inspired by a post I saw on Instagram by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C02ktxkM6rS/?img_index=1" target="_blank">Ancestrally Rooted Mother</a> encouraging us to rest. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI6hQSV_f1ynBAWyzKO427iFn4LErZTz-FW79bPA9kA4KVSr6N4r0TE4gs_6Z8RUQfZfqRt_uKjLjiPA-1fxcejNgP9g8pZ29oLqq6JCvRJUTvZpSUMaBpmwOzAPOOmhnyzrWCD1wF7lTeH0eNfF2aWFN7N9Lo6eRCIj1hWooIF0LEFlN-Da9oPDNmh9Mf/s1080/Screenshot_20240127_182005_Instagram.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1071" data-original-width="1080" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI6hQSV_f1ynBAWyzKO427iFn4LErZTz-FW79bPA9kA4KVSr6N4r0TE4gs_6Z8RUQfZfqRt_uKjLjiPA-1fxcejNgP9g8pZ29oLqq6JCvRJUTvZpSUMaBpmwOzAPOOmhnyzrWCD1wF7lTeH0eNfF2aWFN7N9Lo6eRCIj1hWooIF0LEFlN-Da9oPDNmh9Mf/s320/Screenshot_20240127_182005_Instagram.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p>My instant reaction was to think "well how can I possibly do that when I am so busy all the time?" and Emily very generously responded with this answer: </p><p><span face="-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Oh, this is a great question! And for me, the answer has been pretty multifaceted and somewhat hard to swallow. First, "the answer" will depend on what is going on in your life. I've had to get honest with myself about what I'm doing to be so busy and why I'm doing it. Sometimes we have things we are doing because we need to and sometimes those things make us busier than we want. But, I've gotten pretty ruthless about the extras. I have a garden and chickens -that's it. Also, I've been leaning more into the community I have available to me - the paid and unpaid. I'm making sacrifices in the things I want to do to make room for building community. We try to do too much alone. And I try to make the activities more restful. Rest doesn't have to equal idle. For me, that has meant getting off my smartphone. I only listen to podcasts occasionally vs all the time. As hard as it is, doing dishes and just doing dishes feels more restful than doing dishes while trying to shove more information in my brain. Lastly, sometimes all I can do is rest in knowledge of what should be. Some years I've had to work more and I've had to just be ok with that. I find the knowledge that I should be resting more restful. And helps me be gentler with myself when I can't keep up or just power through. </span></p><p>Because of this response I chose REST as my "word of the year". The mindset communicated by Emily in her reply helped me to form an attitude towards how REST can inform my year and has helped me think about how I can make it work in practical terms. </p><p>I also have to give a shout out to my sister, who, when I told her I was going to be doing a "word of the year" workshop with my good friend Vicki to help me choose my word told me in no uncertain terms that it should be REST! </p><p>For a home educating mother of four children who continues to pile more and more upon her plate you might be thinking that REST was a foolish word to choose for 2024, I am quite obviously a busy person, so what REST looks like for me might not be what REST looks like for other people. </p><p>It might not, for example mean lots of sitting down. It might not mean spending a lot of time alone or on self-care, and it certainly won't mean lots of long hot bubble baths!</p><p>Here is what REST has meant for me so far in 2024:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Allowing my mind to rest when I breastfeed the baby by reading the Bible or a book rather than scrolling social media,</li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Being present and allowing my mind to rest and wander when cooking or going to the toilet rather than filling my mind with noise from podcasts and YouTube videos,</li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Beginning my day in a restful way by preparing for the day and enjoying a book during breakfast rather than scrolling on social media the minute I wake up,</li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Ending my day in a restful way at a decent hour and with a book rather than social media,</li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Recognising that it is ok to just sit down and rest, I do not have to justify resting my body by trying to do something else whilst I sit down, or feeling like I only deserve a rest once I have completed a million and one tasks,</li></ul><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Allowing my body to rest by stopping eating at 8pm so my body can have time to heal and repair by resting from digestion at night,</li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Creating a restful, less stressful life by planning and organising my time and creating a meal plan so I am not having to live reactively all the time, which is stressful,</li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Recognising that I don't have to do all-the-things and a rich and joyful life doesn't necessarily come from filling our time with activities,</li><li>And most importantly, resting in the Lord by passing my burdens onto Him through prayer and remembering that I don't need to worry or stress about my life because he has it in hand. </li></ul><div></div><div>Resting in the Lord it the most important aspect of REST this year and I am remembering these Bible verses to encourage me on my journey of restfulness this year: </div></div><p></p><div><div><p style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: NotoSerif, ui-serif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: var(--wp--custom--typography--line-height--body); margin-block: 20px 0px;">Truly my soul finds rest in God;<br style="box-sizing: inherit;" />my salvation comes from him.<br style="box-sizing: inherit;" />Truly he is my rock and my salvation;<br style="box-sizing: inherit;" />he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:1-2)</p><p style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: NotoSerif, ui-serif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: var(--wp--custom--typography--line-height--body); margin-block: 20px 0px;">Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.(Matthew 11:28-30)</p><p style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: NotoSerif, ui-serif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: var(--wp--custom--typography--line-height--body); margin-block: 20px 0px;">I'm also informing my year by remembering that God thought rest was important by giving us a whole day on which to rest: "By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done." (Genesis 2:2-3) And in Exodus 20:8-10 the Bible tells us: "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it Holy, Six days you shall labour and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work." Also that His son Jesus sought rest. If Jesus needed rest them how much more surely must we?</p><p style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: NotoSerif, ui-serif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: var(--wp--custom--typography--line-height--body); margin-block: 20px 0px;">I really hope that by the end of this year I can look back and feel less stressed and worn out, that by practicing leaning into the Lord and searching out Him for spiritual rest, I will find myself refreshed, renewed and energised and that I have an attitude of restfulness rather than busyness. </p><p style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: NotoSerif, ui-serif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: var(--wp--custom--typography--line-height--body); margin-block: 20px 0px;">Friends, please tell me what your word of the year is for 2024, I'd love to hear. </p><p style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: NotoSerif, ui-serif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: var(--wp--custom--typography--line-height--body); margin-block: 20px 0px;"><br /></p></div><div></div><div></div></div>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-71091666022051671032023-12-20T15:18:00.000-08:002023-12-20T15:18:55.437-08:00Joyful Friendships and Joyful self care - being intentional about experiencing joy<p> Aware that the year is coming to an end and that I am two months behind on my posts about my joyful year I have implored myself to open up my laptop and get to work telling you about my joyful focuses for October and November.</p><p>As you may remember every year I choose a "word of the year" which acts as a focus and motivation to shape the year ahead. I use the word to inform my attitude and my actions and I try to think about it's meaning and context in my life. </p><p>Each month of this year I have focused on a different aspect of my life and how "joyful" can influence that part of my life. In October I chose "friendship" as my monthly focus. </p><p>For a while I had been in a bit of a dark place with regards to friendships, still mourning the loss of some of my closest friends when we moved across the country, and still others moving away, I was starting to feel like no one liked me or my children and I ended up closing ourselves in a bit. I made it seem like we were busy with other things, but we weren't busy, I was just sad and lonely, and feeling like I wasn't a likable person. </p><p>Luckily (by the grace of God) I decided to claw my way out of this hole I have got myself into, rather than languishing and becoming depressed, and change my mindset and attitude. I decided to put myself out there again and work harder on my friendships. I wanted to experience joyfulness in my friendships.</p><p>So I committed to going to our groups and meetups whenever we could instead of making excuses and I arranged some meet ups with old friends. Just the action of doing these things really helped and gave me joy. Seeing people, making connections and talking to other women all helped me feel better about myself and my capacity for <i>being </i>a good friend to others as well as drawing good friends to me. </p><p>The climax of the month was the Baptism of my two youngest children. We invited the Godparents who are good friends of ours, some other friends and family and had an absolutely wonderful afternoon together, it warmed my heart so much to be with such special people who had all come to encourage and support us. It was so special. </p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiWs6G0BKWyfvKILXdE5q90b9mNrw22sREB1HNQaGLafgMn_ynZ6ppKTDBD7ur30_aE5qciG8LGKEq_BBTaeBrwqyqQv-mYQAR6ec7bCsXARG3aUI70REvzQo_xPRgPkrL2jhOXRJBHxXb53tXTiE0yzrFQWfezT2wngOkvNqA8hwnX85VGmSxiuWZRF07u" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="938" data-original-width="1250" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiWs6G0BKWyfvKILXdE5q90b9mNrw22sREB1HNQaGLafgMn_ynZ6ppKTDBD7ur30_aE5qciG8LGKEq_BBTaeBrwqyqQv-mYQAR6ec7bCsXARG3aUI70REvzQo_xPRgPkrL2jhOXRJBHxXb53tXTiE0yzrFQWfezT2wngOkvNqA8hwnX85VGmSxiuWZRF07u=w400-h300" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhn6KyiDyLILU3Uobp4wO8dHANIxxtkh8WIxTqskeAL-kfYUpC7D_0pq91wgLX84yCOi2PeDy2tXfgmnHF8hv2sB2i_tbQf4GpukbvkwbfJpRsYe1pSNrpfEdxviPDczFbBDtK4Z3AVaOA654iQyNR3okhlNoaFn2doHKWqhbqDZO2aecNOHZdwb81YJ8_L" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="938" data-original-width="704" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhn6KyiDyLILU3Uobp4wO8dHANIxxtkh8WIxTqskeAL-kfYUpC7D_0pq91wgLX84yCOi2PeDy2tXfgmnHF8hv2sB2i_tbQf4GpukbvkwbfJpRsYe1pSNrpfEdxviPDczFbBDtK4Z3AVaOA654iQyNR3okhlNoaFn2doHKWqhbqDZO2aecNOHZdwb81YJ8_L=w240-h320" width="240" /></a></div><br /></div><p></p><p>November brought a self-care focus. Self-care is something I am notoriously bad at. I find that there is a little part of my brain which likes to be a martyr and as such feels a strange sense of righteousness in wearing myself to the bone. Clearly this is not good, it's not what God wants, it's not righteousness at all. So I made small changes to that in November. </p><p>Self-care is a difficult thing for mothers as so much of our lives require sacrifice for others, it is easy to believe that we don't deserve self-care, or that it is selfish. But we all know it is important because it helps us be the best versions of ourselves which is what our family deserves. It's a win-win situation. </p><p>The climax of my "Joyful self-care" focus was a visit to "Float in the Forest" which is a flotation tank centre near me. My sister-in-law bought me a voucher for my birthday and I finally cashed it in. I spent a blissful hour floating in the dark in a pod of very salty water and took myself out to lunch afterwards where I sat in a café reading a book, eating a delicious lunch and feeling very much like Carrie Bradshaw! It felt so good to spoil myself and really relax. </p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="938" data-original-width="423" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiJ-F6MZ4Zz8dhUINQM13-hMFn17jES2CoFxN29vN-gg4_4j3ENqCz9evv_wd8lXFHmojUDDQK4C-nQwi0eEzmfaHszmxmBjKAbKjlka39ExLfCRTsPmLK1JZfIvWv7BbfXoMYxq9T03s785QNro3JGDJFgHCPTTHEjE_OPD9cI-NYREZx4oncp19E-nnZV=w180-h400" width="180" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhWapzucshDyvIxDs-QMsbmI-DzjZ8DsZ4phj8q1SWP0e6MX6aDOf2HrWk7Z5vUN3ASlIPN2E95x2_-9eGGqmhpCnNd0vCfVLzSKczOMbOtU5pB195hXXntVdruAZAopd_DH0fxe9e9rKT_3EmvB1OY5g38PLYUZYzLFZ0QsksFz2FFWo31SuuVmFBVaDTj" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="938" data-original-width="423" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhWapzucshDyvIxDs-QMsbmI-DzjZ8DsZ4phj8q1SWP0e6MX6aDOf2HrWk7Z5vUN3ASlIPN2E95x2_-9eGGqmhpCnNd0vCfVLzSKczOMbOtU5pB195hXXntVdruAZAopd_DH0fxe9e9rKT_3EmvB1OY5g38PLYUZYzLFZ0QsksFz2FFWo31SuuVmFBVaDTj=w180-h400" width="180" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgGYceb_xT0DmGRTW5wF8YYeXf_xlbmaiVX4BOTtL_M8vTyP0pxkogmfnw70G0aWTGSZstUlgxXoHdGMVeuv8J-s0xuI0CEd2AP7yAX9r2U6V6Xxdud36TQU42CsIyGVRGvfL401zG_52KVvwQQnjzZWc2F_0KXL9dJnceGvBpw5_Yy30WS9aX9ZkQ9XBnZ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="938" data-original-width="423" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgGYceb_xT0DmGRTW5wF8YYeXf_xlbmaiVX4BOTtL_M8vTyP0pxkogmfnw70G0aWTGSZstUlgxXoHdGMVeuv8J-s0xuI0CEd2AP7yAX9r2U6V6Xxdud36TQU42CsIyGVRGvfL401zG_52KVvwQQnjzZWc2F_0KXL9dJnceGvBpw5_Yy30WS9aX9ZkQ9XBnZ=w180-h400" width="180" /></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><p></p><p>One of the things I realised over the past two months of joyful focuses is that to have a more joyful life takes intention. It hasn't just happened because I said the word, it's taken action from me, it's taken work, commitment and planning. I had to plan my date with myself at the floatation centre, I had to organise the Baptism, I had to make the decision to join meet ups and actually go there. This year "Joyful" has been my rudder but I have still had to paddle the boat forwards. </p><p>Now we are in December and I am focusing on my family enjoying a "Joyful Christmas". I'll be sad that this word-of-the-year has ended because it's been so wonderful, but I will reflect on that another day. </p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-66502772981424588252023-10-21T15:15:00.002-07:002023-10-21T15:15:25.298-07:00Joyful wardrobe - wearing clothes that bring you joy<p> October is here and I've already begun a new joyful focus, but I'm here to reflect on my joyful focus of September with you right now, which was "Joyful Wardrobe". </p><p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, Times, FreeSerif, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 16.5px;">As many of you know each year I choose a "word of the year" this years word is "Joyful" and each month I've had a different focus which relates to this word, I've explored all sorts of aspects of joy in my life so far this year from family to my body to home education and more. This months focus probably sounds terribly </span></span><span style="font-size: 16.5px;">frivolous, but it's an aspect of my life that was sucking joy before. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, Times, FreeSerif, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.5px;">I had found myself in a real rut when it came to clothing. I had a few items that I loved and I had worn absolutely to death and I had filled in the gaps with hoodies and jogging bottoms. It was getting to the point where I literally had nothing to wear that didn't have holes or was made from jersey! I was feeling pretty down about my wardrobe and not really knowing what to do to improve it. Part of the problem related to having been pregnant or breastfeeding for so long, so maternity clothes or clothes adapted or otherwise suitable for breastfeeding have been my mainstay (I'm still breastfeeding so I still had to take this into account) and also just generally feeling unattractive and frumpy in whatever I wore. I'd pretty much given up hope of looking nice. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, Times, FreeSerif, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.5px;">I had no idea what to wear, no idea what I liked, not much in the way of a budget to spend on new stuff and a deep dislike for clothes shopping! </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, Times, FreeSerif, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.5px;">I really do despise shopping in clothes shops, I don't know what it is about the mirrors or the lighting but I always find myself feeling fat and ugly in shop mirrors, add to this the time pressures (must get back to the car before the ticket runs out, or back home before the baby freaks out or before whoever is looking after them needs relief) size and colour options and I have found myself standing in a shop totally overwhelmed hating life!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, Times, FreeSerif, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.5px;">Not a good starting point!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, Times, FreeSerif, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.5px;">But not one to be put off I was determined that I was going to do something about my wardrobe so I began to add to a board I started a few years ago on Pinterest, pinning outfits that I had seen online and liked. I called this board "finding my style" and it has really helped me to work out what I actually like. My board now has nearly 300 pins to inspire me in my search for my own fashion tastes and styles. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, Times, FreeSerif, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.5px;">I am not the sort of person to follow fashion, I never have. For one thing I've never really been able to afford it, and for another I'd much rather wear styles that suit my body shape and personality than styles that are on trend. So if you're thinking that this post might help you be on trend then you'll be disappointed!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, Times, FreeSerif, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.5px;">If you'd like to take a look at my Pinterest board click </span><a href="https://www.pinterest.co.uk/4helsbells/finding-my-style/" style="font-size: 16.5px;">HERE</a></span></p><p>Here are some examples of outfits that I have pinned:</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiQnuf9sulPwni7iIpujXw1LU32w3sMLvsgTFTzzLaqyhed06Zpjd8ZKobflivFDsqPkORIm_bEl7qUWyvkGj993upd1skmMg2S_UKyWDQ5-83vy987tvrykfMJFNYY-lO6y2GuMbuSkTN_sblExqkGQu8q2owPn0TBib4rhNC8S4THvGUlhr_SNsxElX6h" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiQnuf9sulPwni7iIpujXw1LU32w3sMLvsgTFTzzLaqyhed06Zpjd8ZKobflivFDsqPkORIm_bEl7qUWyvkGj993upd1skmMg2S_UKyWDQ5-83vy987tvrykfMJFNYY-lO6y2GuMbuSkTN_sblExqkGQu8q2owPn0TBib4rhNC8S4THvGUlhr_SNsxElX6h" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhdOKaYkAvGMKugDzN9m_dm2urdGftFUztn-2H1zHl0AM7qDcxtQiAqWPBUg0HClpFcidk9hkmyOy-G0egAxaiWLcX5sFBkPNDEmIgaADeSl124qiF1sTabQkgZsz3UMTZ2uPtGQLyIrKUttWaU69Gp2Ob0bcLqy-_JYNNeTRYkh4rC5G5QIfzt2PPlto2n" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="564" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiQnuf9sulPwni7iIpujXw1LU32w3sMLvsgTFTzzLaqyhed06Zpjd8ZKobflivFDsqPkORIm_bEl7qUWyvkGj993upd1skmMg2S_UKyWDQ5-83vy987tvrykfMJFNYY-lO6y2GuMbuSkTN_sblExqkGQu8q2owPn0TBib4rhNC8S4THvGUlhr_SNsxElX6h" width="100" /> <img alt="" data-original-height="354" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhdOKaYkAvGMKugDzN9m_dm2urdGftFUztn-2H1zHl0AM7qDcxtQiAqWPBUg0HClpFcidk9hkmyOy-G0egAxaiWLcX5sFBkPNDEmIgaADeSl124qiF1sTabQkgZsz3UMTZ2uPtGQLyIrKUttWaU69Gp2Ob0bcLqy-_JYNNeTRYkh4rC5G5QIfzt2PPlto2n" width="160" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiD1e52pdrqLe1BII_TVOtnZfk6s0h-q5ONplHr3mJNQgiiyBuF5hhIcPY_jlhb4Ks86FRqAcsn4jcFPlJFAViwTtg93sa6LErJZOTvKfz2UV-abIvWwXoUzDunBMhahhHe9-i7Gkfot3y8QPdTkvB1uEDp59SH754VTzNKIgzItI87S6FMKdTSa3y7yI0A" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="612" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiD1e52pdrqLe1BII_TVOtnZfk6s0h-q5ONplHr3mJNQgiiyBuF5hhIcPY_jlhb4Ks86FRqAcsn4jcFPlJFAViwTtg93sa6LErJZOTvKfz2UV-abIvWwXoUzDunBMhahhHe9-i7Gkfot3y8QPdTkvB1uEDp59SH754VTzNKIgzItI87S6FMKdTSa3y7yI0A" width="93" /></a></div></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjDeSykBWrhtVqA9cuY8EJBDEyjJOBEXLCKxAlSlALwRn-TiB6Xc9WYGkmAxK5qgxp3GqUMVJcCpAJ9xVD2iZItho6FPd4SkTIhLAjNBglTuCmQB5p7fAG-MhVq9zGbX6U7oMedSDt5igRrTUGY5tccNHFKLuIqWMtWHIKX3EuANHxFQUiLp6rYhWnKlLf3" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="624" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjDeSykBWrhtVqA9cuY8EJBDEyjJOBEXLCKxAlSlALwRn-TiB6Xc9WYGkmAxK5qgxp3GqUMVJcCpAJ9xVD2iZItho6FPd4SkTIhLAjNBglTuCmQB5p7fAG-MhVq9zGbX6U7oMedSDt5igRrTUGY5tccNHFKLuIqWMtWHIKX3EuANHxFQUiLp6rYhWnKlLf3" width="91" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj-R5A2yNOQ744y2PhoD1_AB4Hmi7fcO_6wau0WvgwpW_G5nhns6QedrB8-B7QEmsZQjzmxFC7iHT2JuVCUb7mjDaNMlAwd8f7zyBxPiDXfW87tmY4JfCNGljucWBksbbRVPB6Bvp_AvAi5vWeQ1BlsUzkbywnyUqroYmNa7zrj956-NC0uMfQseyFRdE4X" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="401" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj-R5A2yNOQ744y2PhoD1_AB4Hmi7fcO_6wau0WvgwpW_G5nhns6QedrB8-B7QEmsZQjzmxFC7iHT2JuVCUb7mjDaNMlAwd8f7zyBxPiDXfW87tmY4JfCNGljucWBksbbRVPB6Bvp_AvAi5vWeQ1BlsUzkbywnyUqroYmNa7zrj956-NC0uMfQseyFRdE4X" width="141" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjRC3acaCMw0xkS_tpg4-YJhHWjCUaK3Xhk9Q05AF9Uw_YDrOdWw8UWIsZ5b8Z3eBCuGdAQNFb1Tf3VbYL5MC9dyuUNlWp2iFFoqPks82RlncrDfr6yjBgBCpCjP_zzYNkbK7F0aiOwWAGt7sjUZ603RGqBX44RbzbVwr8vkYlK6iZJt2jOR5WgGgE3z2IJ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="353" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjRC3acaCMw0xkS_tpg4-YJhHWjCUaK3Xhk9Q05AF9Uw_YDrOdWw8UWIsZ5b8Z3eBCuGdAQNFb1Tf3VbYL5MC9dyuUNlWp2iFFoqPks82RlncrDfr6yjBgBCpCjP_zzYNkbK7F0aiOwWAGt7sjUZ603RGqBX44RbzbVwr8vkYlK6iZJt2jOR5WgGgE3z2IJ" width="160" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgeWbIw0oYUDUsbU3CNUn4jCF9ha3eHHqkYkYYO1kfeZsR9dvggklLoRGrW8gyMzjQ4DyiH7rvz2zCnM8lIvvP5DkttzAuhg1YVvabi3r7ZEU1ZXtRw_YV_O2fUeTupKLNSDA5dvMd81_0U9TGafJxFC6ABOfD7L_YeBiHwCF4gy6hthlDMqQsHrPMXtQrc" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="354" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgeWbIw0oYUDUsbU3CNUn4jCF9ha3eHHqkYkYYO1kfeZsR9dvggklLoRGrW8gyMzjQ4DyiH7rvz2zCnM8lIvvP5DkttzAuhg1YVvabi3r7ZEU1ZXtRw_YV_O2fUeTupKLNSDA5dvMd81_0U9TGafJxFC6ABOfD7L_YeBiHwCF4gy6hthlDMqQsHrPMXtQrc" width="160" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiyInB9VdZmHv-FFHGIxZGcfjC1ZBzLB4OGCiDZjBl75mOMph6Gkbcu-esI4UD5Xa9xC7wMy3eunTurPizg42uYG1P4BrziY0JVNqpmD9S2E1BJrh8o9hOQb5Aaolz4cxOZemBhCtXYe13RgTdJ5K0isP5io65FOrbYAfRT2nCvuvDl70Wm68btYJv7xqVX" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="408" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiyInB9VdZmHv-FFHGIxZGcfjC1ZBzLB4OGCiDZjBl75mOMph6Gkbcu-esI4UD5Xa9xC7wMy3eunTurPizg42uYG1P4BrziY0JVNqpmD9S2E1BJrh8o9hOQb5Aaolz4cxOZemBhCtXYe13RgTdJ5K0isP5io65FOrbYAfRT2nCvuvDl70Wm68btYJv7xqVX=w139-h240" width="139" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiirxv7b8gdlRUscIsVOFAfdvrlwfKYt92QeX39ID5MzjhpEVKfiTrtJrhDCeaSLKKRirx-mHZxJ7vjab2efuNbVAdNaq9z6t_pAsJK6pPvcqNAFRQ2iEKRmTU9FSJiyC096pIDJMUMkngVIS3LhVvQIZ95rCzJWTGW93rPS8oDgr2ENmJglDWeGINbeXX7" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="389" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiirxv7b8gdlRUscIsVOFAfdvrlwfKYt92QeX39ID5MzjhpEVKfiTrtJrhDCeaSLKKRirx-mHZxJ7vjab2efuNbVAdNaq9z6t_pAsJK6pPvcqNAFRQ2iEKRmTU9FSJiyC096pIDJMUMkngVIS3LhVvQIZ95rCzJWTGW93rPS8oDgr2ENmJglDWeGINbeXX7" width="146" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjkiz3m6EakLFRjq8jq6qPtZ0Q4s8XV8z1Y3Y6N3KCfvyc-QSSOXwZnNI6rJ4SchJBG4-2eu5L9K2q-SIU9QPAkudhaN3WosmiSFwQEyYkEvIU6ehAhyi5It5kkGjQHwCxUxQRSnbVGeykWclN3jEMMlJbSCCrKr4Qs8mER0jf7IVd-dO1cjSV4WaB6RNVR" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="354" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjkiz3m6EakLFRjq8jq6qPtZ0Q4s8XV8z1Y3Y6N3KCfvyc-QSSOXwZnNI6rJ4SchJBG4-2eu5L9K2q-SIU9QPAkudhaN3WosmiSFwQEyYkEvIU6ehAhyi5It5kkGjQHwCxUxQRSnbVGeykWclN3jEMMlJbSCCrKr4Qs8mER0jf7IVd-dO1cjSV4WaB6RNVR" width="160" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj-zurbKyX_6E-73A0VZK7860j6qXBiKyD-04JzdcCjjylwM0p0gTPy3ClJaWKW_enHvbiuF7cdRYprlEjZJkzQQOiQ0WVw_aYM0WICtJdUmqqt5E5l3DJwO05WRzakjBRP7t6xYL6i8fjSs0H-Mt8LC8KV2KUhLl6ee5pxIeiVJq_AHkilFkvyiRX3MFlD" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="374" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj-zurbKyX_6E-73A0VZK7860j6qXBiKyD-04JzdcCjjylwM0p0gTPy3ClJaWKW_enHvbiuF7cdRYprlEjZJkzQQOiQ0WVw_aYM0WICtJdUmqqt5E5l3DJwO05WRzakjBRP7t6xYL6i8fjSs0H-Mt8LC8KV2KUhLl6ee5pxIeiVJq_AHkilFkvyiRX3MFlD" width="151" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj28njuJQd5mt3KXEIVEi4QUJ9wr6nrMED6j0lDkESsbLMs-3qkcBqV_xQaDo8vd3gQjnlTlg5d8J1skDvjc9yrd0_SCXJiQiNqvKjX8WQZYeSD3znY-EwxoEGc3AOgh6AjvS2wRQWFZtql2btW3uGuqu_CM5TlQ1da5XjRhSoOr6llRLAQm6g1oOKBwTz_" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="355" data-original-width="236" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj28njuJQd5mt3KXEIVEi4QUJ9wr6nrMED6j0lDkESsbLMs-3qkcBqV_xQaDo8vd3gQjnlTlg5d8J1skDvjc9yrd0_SCXJiQiNqvKjX8WQZYeSD3znY-EwxoEGc3AOgh6AjvS2wRQWFZtql2btW3uGuqu_CM5TlQ1da5XjRhSoOr6llRLAQm6g1oOKBwTz_" width="160" /></a><br /><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><span style="color: #0000ee;"><u><br /></u></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Hopefully you get an idea from all that what sort of outfit and style I like. I'm sure these aren't the height of fashion, but I really don't care, that's not something that's important to me. I just want to feel comfortable really, whilst also not drawing attention to myself as something the cat dragged in!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The next step I took in switching up my wardrobe was to start purchasing items. Now as I mentioned before, I'm on a tight budget so I knew I couldn't go into actual shops and buy anything like this new, so my search began in the local charity shop. I had an idea in my mind of what I was looking for and anything that vaguely fitted the bill in the charity shop, I would buy. It didn't matter too much if the items I bought ended up looking terrible or not fitting properly because they only cost me a pound or two, so not great loss, I could donate things back to charity and feel good about it at the end of the day.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Unfortunately however I wasn't always able to find what I was looking for in charity shops. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Then someone mentioned the website Vinted to me so I decided to take a look and to my joy I was able to find exactly what I was looking for second hand (and sometimes brand new) at a fraction of the cost of the stuff in the shops (most of which I didn't like anyway!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So this has been a whole new, exciting thing for me! I choose an outfit I pinned on Pinterest, then I look for each item or something similar on Vinted. I've picked up some real bargains, it's been brilliant and I've revamped my whole wardrobe for less than £100.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I will confess to you now that I did make one dirty purchase from Shein (I know, I know) but aside from that and some essentials that you can't but second hand (if you know what I mean) from ASDA, everything I've bought has been second hand either from charity shops or from Vinted or Ebay. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Honestly it's been like opening up a whole new world of clothing for me and I've really enjoyed it. Of course I've had some disappointments, where I've got things home from the charity shop and found they don't fit or look ridiculous, and a couple of things from Vinted which were too big or the colours weren't quite as expected, but apart form that it's been great and I highly recommend it. The other thing that's great about buying second hand is that you can buy branded stuff for much less (you might not care, but I do think that some brands produce better quality clothes than others. There is a whole lot of fast fashion items on Vinted so you do need to filter thought all that to get to the good stuff) and you can buy better quality materials for much less too. Second hand wool and leather items are great buys on Vinted especially if you object ethically to buying these materials new. No harm has been done to an animal by buying second hand wool jumpers or leather boots. I would argue in fact that this is much better for animals that buying plastic shoes and jumpers which will never degrade. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So all in all my September joyful focus has been a great success, possibly my most successful joyful focus so far and definitely my most enjoyable. </div>The best purchase for me was a cardigan that was the same as one I bought about 15 years ago. It was a cardigan that I loved so much it was full of holes and coming apart. I had looked a few times on ebay to find a replacement, but I had very little hope with it being over 15 years old. Then one day to my absolute joy I found one on Vinted, same size and everything. I can't tell you how happy I felt receiving that cardigan through the post, it was like going back in time and having my old cardigan back but brand new, it was like it hadn't been worn. I am so pleased with this purchase, I bought another one that I found in a different colour! I've also bought a second pair of my favourite jeans. <p></p><div>So if you feel like your wardrobe isn't bringing you joy I highly recommend this process of pinning styles you like on Pinterest then finding similar things second hand online, it's been a fun and really enjoyable process that I will definitely be carrying with me into the future. </div><div><br /></div><div>Here are a few terrible pics of some of my new clothes:</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi0UeSbi1wy_rV6-EzuIDsmFcPZsOKs6_oUyIrZZfHECcIiK0ErRjUTuu-VRG1AJ8opWVAhWicxUfW-p2I-pjTGthNr_PosFVwRkPoVtNCNq-nKAB71_kFHroNvAk-rkWWqxvSnkjNATb_JYJWV1rlw-JR50gmHtxq17RFbWxGA7lvKROpwYgcIguegGp-B" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="425" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi0UeSbi1wy_rV6-EzuIDsmFcPZsOKs6_oUyIrZZfHECcIiK0ErRjUTuu-VRG1AJ8opWVAhWicxUfW-p2I-pjTGthNr_PosFVwRkPoVtNCNq-nKAB71_kFHroNvAk-rkWWqxvSnkjNATb_JYJWV1rlw-JR50gmHtxq17RFbWxGA7lvKROpwYgcIguegGp-B" width="108" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh6YOHuhC43pjND9RxxRqNbFNvwgijNxEICrdE6C_AWfUYxiWO5C8-L6uN5vk-lugQk1SuEETXiAsUrf5Ye5YJf7k_LqJjxxX4ztPiNTifwiDOpj-48X9jbAEssGj7nwICJ6Dgxk57Hnfl_V4tEhgNjRR_z2-3II63nYFUlfqveuWc93hd6swJiel_eqFux" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="425" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh6YOHuhC43pjND9RxxRqNbFNvwgijNxEICrdE6C_AWfUYxiWO5C8-L6uN5vk-lugQk1SuEETXiAsUrf5Ye5YJf7k_LqJjxxX4ztPiNTifwiDOpj-48X9jbAEssGj7nwICJ6Dgxk57Hnfl_V4tEhgNjRR_z2-3II63nYFUlfqveuWc93hd6swJiel_eqFux" width="108" /></a></div> </div> <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjHP8YPYu8E1wqLONmEunTn9pBXxz4MvVUzWRZ7Wz4spFQ5BJ9jqyiEEH-iLFMSxeR9IKMwLpALJCR68lYiwwfTxJ-5n_wOs6NJfNp8qzJNqPIov7zCwaDRYJMMojZmimsaBjDsbvJ2iGTmijhRqGHtOD6huaLAu6RzhCfbp5qP87D1c6IIyFmN_rPpZbbg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="425" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjHP8YPYu8E1wqLONmEunTn9pBXxz4MvVUzWRZ7Wz4spFQ5BJ9jqyiEEH-iLFMSxeR9IKMwLpALJCR68lYiwwfTxJ-5n_wOs6NJfNp8qzJNqPIov7zCwaDRYJMMojZmimsaBjDsbvJ2iGTmijhRqGHtOD6huaLAu6RzhCfbp5qP87D1c6IIyFmN_rPpZbbg" width="108" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgE4cemcotcbAZg3h57CebIYcVaMdhC-B63YqgoohS_ETjW0Goe0_x_m2XxgnPZwNJIKPZIfuzEyJOyoQNNTF6UW1jx8mFENMgyoXCfBp4PzM81X_TMJ2HZ7DXfhV1M-JeP3I4zCT-BSZYhqZWKWfDeFTBS_2G1eJ3WyixJYCurFGVLIGSwtZ8hLE-3W0X9" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="424" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgE4cemcotcbAZg3h57CebIYcVaMdhC-B63YqgoohS_ETjW0Goe0_x_m2XxgnPZwNJIKPZIfuzEyJOyoQNNTF6UW1jx8mFENMgyoXCfBp4PzM81X_TMJ2HZ7DXfhV1M-JeP3I4zCT-BSZYhqZWKWfDeFTBS_2G1eJ3WyixJYCurFGVLIGSwtZ8hLE-3W0X9" width="108" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgdMudBzWzm9mUMnHp03UVZd4HX4jtMzRy7ERq0CxE-CcImWI-3PXha_DawDSiAN_MQBkGyz_dGwzAMgfO0T4d0c2-mKEK3TkUtot0YUkbGoBcizpsJzmNJNGihlsYElN-kMtEVI39-lMrzRaFbQoY4QBukD9zH2BpP26OaRdZZlStjzlnaMtfcniCGAAB3" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="424" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgdMudBzWzm9mUMnHp03UVZd4HX4jtMzRy7ERq0CxE-CcImWI-3PXha_DawDSiAN_MQBkGyz_dGwzAMgfO0T4d0c2-mKEK3TkUtot0YUkbGoBcizpsJzmNJNGihlsYElN-kMtEVI39-lMrzRaFbQoY4QBukD9zH2BpP26OaRdZZlStjzlnaMtfcniCGAAB3" width="108" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg_ktidWnDNaOGZc8QIODqk1hoQJznuHRQjJ8wh8-s8r5Xyb4UMZPuD0IIr-x-_p98x7SDxhYUKs1KnMd1AxPrBgmsDqfDQalOb4XRNDv97PvWor0zn_HR3EODZZ3P9tswYWSIuPLdD78gPWO3G8GZKuZkdtaMNOMtTR7MoOnHObNRl1tJkdKulBGh6H21n" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="425" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg_ktidWnDNaOGZc8QIODqk1hoQJznuHRQjJ8wh8-s8r5Xyb4UMZPuD0IIr-x-_p98x7SDxhYUKs1KnMd1AxPrBgmsDqfDQalOb4XRNDv97PvWor0zn_HR3EODZZ3P9tswYWSIuPLdD78gPWO3G8GZKuZkdtaMNOMtTR7MoOnHObNRl1tJkdKulBGh6H21n" width="108" /></a></div> </div></div></div></div><br /><br /></div><br /><br /></div>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-65603180186741448182023-09-03T05:44:00.009-07:002023-09-03T05:44:52.520-07:00Joyful Food - Crafting a diet that's both healthy and joyful<p>This year my word-of-the-year is "Joyful". Each month I have chosen a joyful focus to inspire me, motivate me, to keep me on track. August's focus has been on food and what we eat. This focus didn't start abruptly at the beginning of August, it has been a more gradual process over the past few months but August has given me the opportunity to have a moment to think about how it's going, to re-access what is and isn't working.</p><p>Over the past few years, young children, and time pressures have meant that I have been turning more and more towards processed and oven ready foods. There has been a lot of media coverage on how harmful ultra processed foods (UPFs) are and it prompted me to re-access our diet and what I have been putting into my, and my children's bodies. What is more, it is clear to me that UPF's are not joyful. Whilst they might taste ok, and fill a hole the burden of additives, preservatives and fake ingredients doesn't kindle joy in my heart in the way a home made slice of cake, a freshly tossed salad with dressing, or a newly baked loaf of bread might.</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU_Gm-sGc1LAopHn5QVJpXfXaBvsrheUZdQFV-POIMDMIpgx6CpEZfqcWdMPcRdlobDx7bYmcv4TskU7gP2laUgAp6cJbyXJvat86s754Qty7ZyWCfA4UZe_kQe2HHueymTiUD8AbJSv-Ss3BZa_G1rDaCPkUHuQyrVjKS-b_LHo-nzUggMGoZPNePmiWP/s4624/20230729_154334.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU_Gm-sGc1LAopHn5QVJpXfXaBvsrheUZdQFV-POIMDMIpgx6CpEZfqcWdMPcRdlobDx7bYmcv4TskU7gP2laUgAp6cJbyXJvat86s754Qty7ZyWCfA4UZe_kQe2HHueymTiUD8AbJSv-Ss3BZa_G1rDaCPkUHuQyrVjKS-b_LHo-nzUggMGoZPNePmiWP/s320/20230729_154334.jpg" width="144" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinb44c0lWBoGjNtKj4bd9OhLDi4eAMe6QGfy08Z_GKw0RQfjn3cbSxlrTndWGpD-u_oHWrWeEpLs7uxPMt-vWUOEKMhyt6dw4_eEzbx1wz1jgTEImk9UCQLXtN9PFP8EPY9vjGw3qvU72sKiGQq5rba6yB8kG_T_M6E7lG1M_Asj84_ClSXccdWipeKXxi/s4624/20230730_153613.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinb44c0lWBoGjNtKj4bd9OhLDi4eAMe6QGfy08Z_GKw0RQfjn3cbSxlrTndWGpD-u_oHWrWeEpLs7uxPMt-vWUOEKMhyt6dw4_eEzbx1wz1jgTEImk9UCQLXtN9PFP8EPY9vjGw3qvU72sKiGQq5rba6yB8kG_T_M6E7lG1M_Asj84_ClSXccdWipeKXxi/s320/20230730_153613.jpg" width="144" /></a></div></div><p>Please don't get me wrong, I don't believe that our diet has been drastically bad over the years, we haven't been eating all ready meals, fizzy drinks and take-away. We are all pretty healthy, but there is definitely room for improvement (my husband and I are definitely fatter than is strictly necessary!)</p><p>One area I've felt especially guilty about is that of organic food. I haven't been making much effort to source organic food. As a child my own mother went to great lengths to buy organic food for us in a time when it was much more difficult to come by and wasn't readily available in the supermarket. I remember spending hours wandering around farm shops in the middle of no-where waiting for my mum to buy her fruits and vegetables, she even set up her own food co-operative from our home, bulk buying organic whole foods like oats, raisins and beans which she split up with a few friends. She felt like organic food was really important for us and I don't want to undo all her good work on my health throughout my childhood by buying chemical laden food from the supermarket now. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxTB6ypsQrWhzBAVrpd8HzmdppPHvOuhKuY5IGKIs9ift1eam6HQMrPnTZ_Hfu0V99L8Aim22c2BS3wPxMi7URP0yob9PJ_S97ZBwqo1YqI6pf5L3WDytpoqAAGRmhHHkrUCzpzTCiVIec2GRpgL2R2jiB_YLg4ftAd7kBWfIpx6MjFG2KnN_5RutOT8xf/s4624/20230729_154336.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxTB6ypsQrWhzBAVrpd8HzmdppPHvOuhKuY5IGKIs9ift1eam6HQMrPnTZ_Hfu0V99L8Aim22c2BS3wPxMi7URP0yob9PJ_S97ZBwqo1YqI6pf5L3WDytpoqAAGRmhHHkrUCzpzTCiVIec2GRpgL2R2jiB_YLg4ftAd7kBWfIpx6MjFG2KnN_5RutOT8xf/s320/20230729_154336.jpg" width="144" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwLi5FaFIbsAyj9N3M-wAhfIVmbiKm-vO2SRFFxMHlKRua8LFQsMtbrqFLxMaU5YGV_VdxmkIyDMc4rfBS9q_RSGiTe-1mPJRLDemNx7lAMvLnnmm37HRTIcVuRi4IDDg9dXwCOIcCfkpsWOKPZ6HxRPzIkzUwQAIw4_6GUowlUue3N48Ky8KI2_Ed4TuM/s4624/20230418_182635.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwLi5FaFIbsAyj9N3M-wAhfIVmbiKm-vO2SRFFxMHlKRua8LFQsMtbrqFLxMaU5YGV_VdxmkIyDMc4rfBS9q_RSGiTe-1mPJRLDemNx7lAMvLnnmm37HRTIcVuRi4IDDg9dXwCOIcCfkpsWOKPZ6HxRPzIkzUwQAIw4_6GUowlUue3N48Ky8KI2_Ed4TuM/s320/20230418_182635.jpg" width="144" /></a></div></div><p></p><p>Considering diet can be a very confusing these days, there are so many different approaches to what we eat, so many people saying their diet plan is the best, most natural, most nutritious, or most healthy one out there and there are often many conflicting studies and contradictory research which supposedly back up the benefits of each one. This makes finding the truth extremely difficult and has led me to rely more on my own instinct and intuition about diet and nutrition than relying on the advice of all the so-called experts and proponents of different diets that are out there. </p><p>For me this has meant organic whole foods, food as nature intended. </p><p>Eating whole foods naturally means cutting out UPF's because a processed food is not a whole food. Whole foods are foods that have not been processed, although I have been processing some of the foods myself at home to make them more enjoyable, making my own bread for example. Home made food feels joyful, not just the simplicity of the ingredients but the heart that has gone into it.</p><p>Over the months I have been gradually trying to cut out as much processed food as possible, by making more things myself at home and sourcing organic versions of the things I normally buy. This has had a mixed response from my family!</p><p>I have had some successes, making my own bread for example, (I have made my own bread on and off for years, but I really committed to it this time), we are really enjoying a weekly organic veg box, and I have had some failures, (no one liked the home made granola I made) but there have been some downsides too.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh34ksB5C_5DNyHSSsIAjYlk2T0ovSBEbquTqLI9DZWPAEepoujlCVdhxtkRrpuZXNHB-GdfpCKub4odPluS8w4KSeJ1r5kJEu7W3pFDhY5fN7rFMIeH50ld-Nt2lho5ZpR_C1NRJPyzHZVVS9TDMR7Q6TcT-a6DxuIcGmGhCFK0Q-kLYJE08-0DGfptrxz/s4624/20230628_151218.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh34ksB5C_5DNyHSSsIAjYlk2T0ovSBEbquTqLI9DZWPAEepoujlCVdhxtkRrpuZXNHB-GdfpCKub4odPluS8w4KSeJ1r5kJEu7W3pFDhY5fN7rFMIeH50ld-Nt2lho5ZpR_C1NRJPyzHZVVS9TDMR7Q6TcT-a6DxuIcGmGhCFK0Q-kLYJE08-0DGfptrxz/s320/20230628_151218.jpg" width="144" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnipsPV6BwCvRwh1FEjp0M1-HYHgptjAquyAvSRYwmTjGU1Ve99BA8I-N13fn15BJiLdSOaYsb63y-XiMhOA7sy4PrAnXiIYjLrstLG9k8T0eeQvBsUQj978xaPsoGuVhePRGGOPFBowVkdD9kbuvmDZitX4uNdFwEiay0KaEan3bBxboXpRS4TaHFc1aj/s4624/20230705_094702.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnipsPV6BwCvRwh1FEjp0M1-HYHgptjAquyAvSRYwmTjGU1Ve99BA8I-N13fn15BJiLdSOaYsb63y-XiMhOA7sy4PrAnXiIYjLrstLG9k8T0eeQvBsUQj978xaPsoGuVhePRGGOPFBowVkdD9kbuvmDZitX4uNdFwEiay0KaEan3bBxboXpRS4TaHFc1aj/s320/20230705_094702.jpg" width="144" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><p></p><p>For me as a home educating mum, (meaning that I don't get paid for my work and I am very occupied), trying to eat organic wholefoods has been very expensive and time consuming. I have found myself waking up to children clamouring they are starving because I have neglected to make more granola or bread and there is nothing for breakfast, or we have decided to have egg mayonnaise sandwiches for lunch but I haven't made the mayonnaise, or I've simply just not known what to cook. The whole thing quickly because an overwhelming burden. And that is not joyful.</p><p>This whole journey with food has forced me to admit that I can't actually have it all, I can't actually do it all! If my children were in school I would have more time to make all the food myself, if I worked I'd have more money to spend on organic food, but I don't, so, as my online name, Imperfectly Natural Mama reminds me, I'm imperfect, and I can't actually be perfect this side of heaven, I have to live in this middle ground, this half way, working towards perfection but never quite making it and having to accept that. </p><p>I am learning to compromise. There will still be home made bread but we might not be spreading it with home made organic jam. I think this is where I can find the joy in my food, eating as much whole, organic foods as possible but not wearing myself to the bone trying to get to it, and perhaps more importantly, letting go of the guilt of not being able to do it all. </p><p><br /></p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-33214410264523557452023-08-21T11:03:00.000-07:002023-08-21T11:03:39.711-07:00Turning 40 - Why I'm not giving up on my dreams and neither should you<p> In episode 1 of The Good Life, a 1970's sit-com based in Surbiton, England, following the story of the Goods, a couple who decide to quit the rat-race and try their hand at self-sufficiency, we see Tom Good turn 40. </p><p>As a young 20 year old in her second year at University watching the series on VHS on my little TV in my bedroom, the Goods seemed ancient, but they inspired in me the seed of a dream that I had to one day become self sufficient myself. If they could pick up at 40, living in a suburban house and become self-sufficient then I, with a whole twenty years extra time ahead of me, could easily achieve this dream.</p><p>Well now I'm 40 and I'm not self-sufficient.</p><p>What happened? Well life happened, I had no house, no land to be self-sufficient on, so I had to get a job, I trained to become a teacher, got a mortgage (but not for a big house with land because who can afford that on a teachers income in Berkshire!?), I got married, then I had a child, then another, then two more, and now... here I am. In a house full of kids, no chickens, no goat, a few sad veg that grow as a testament to the little spark that still resides in my chest, waiting to be kindled into a flame. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="934" data-original-width="526" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiHMqJuVlhA_r9avqOAgyfkc-7KqOBPIBJ8rIV2s7IZLae2kE-4_UDKMIloFhU89vj8BnHCnQqbHKp9t3xwc8epYhiJPC91MTRfLj4_wy2AcF7wBgd3XVomC9aw5T2nQwgEF60ZsMmIETNH0BFEmERsmjmiWhc_b9aY3v1Z1sumZp85XiejIHzMK6jCtZhf" width="135" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiGA1LOQEDg-qW-EjkVbG79st6Sw_af4dGwQNWmMhGtVy2r7Ltr8rdpuwNLTkTh1j-5S41r_H97eku7adU6vvk6h5xNKrS5nYZEeC9Xlfo7Oc9AmfGZ2muy7YXItPYp97CKTUAotaGLzaAzaGPvdJq_Rs_QOAEvSzURa0i3i9RwabYbvndzz5XgOMpLjAmg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="934" data-original-width="421" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiGA1LOQEDg-qW-EjkVbG79st6Sw_af4dGwQNWmMhGtVy2r7Ltr8rdpuwNLTkTh1j-5S41r_H97eku7adU6vvk6h5xNKrS5nYZEeC9Xlfo7Oc9AmfGZ2muy7YXItPYp97CKTUAotaGLzaAzaGPvdJq_Rs_QOAEvSzURa0i3i9RwabYbvndzz5XgOMpLjAmg" width="108" /></a></div></div><br /><p></p><p>I'm pretty happy with my life though. I think I have achieved some great things in my 40 years, things that I'm really proud of. I've grown so much as a person through the trials and the joys that I have experienced over the years, they have embroidered many layers into my personality and identity, layers of wisdom, contentment, self-sacrifice, resilience and strength, and I've really enjoyed getting to know myself in deeper and more profound ways. I'm proud of this person that I am, that I've become, that I am becoming. And not achieving my dream of self-sufficiency doesn't mean that I've lost anything or failed, it's just...well...life. It turned out differently than I imagined. </p><p>I've had many adventures in my 40 years, which at the time I thought were side quests, distractions from my main goal of becoming self-sufficient, but in the end became THE quest. Submitting to this quest has been one of the hardest and most joyful journeys of my life. I never would have guessed all those years ago that self-sufficiency would become a side quest. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dws4s28FJnE3GpWug5dhHiLoE3icBf_InldPdxuX554bEjTDlcBUGq4zLweoFsC0JOLZlpexXgE-zBl9GWbcg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p>In my defence though there are reasons my life did not exactly emulate the Goods, for one thing, unlike the Goods, my husband and I decided to have children. Also, and I don't know if this is due to the economy now verses the 1970's or simply because of the children, but in episode 1 Tom reveals that they have paid off the mortgage. Imagine that!! Being mortgage free at the age of 40. Was that the norm back then? (Please let me know in the comments if you know). We still have a pretty substantial amount to pay off our mortgage which requires work, which means one less person for all the milking and growing, bartering, digging and egg collecting (and that one person has been pretty occupied by the child rearing!). I also have a husband who does not share the self-sufficiency dream. Tom was quite easily able to persuade his wife Barbara that becoming self sufficient was a great idea, my husband isn't so keen. </p><p>So what's to do? Give up on the dream? That's what most people do isn't it. They decide, or perhaps realise that their dream isn't really their dream any more, or that in fact it isn't achievable, but I'm not ready to give up yet. </p><p>The Goods became self-sufficient when they were in their 40s and so can I! (there is that slight issues of the mortgage needing paying for but let's put that to one side for now.)</p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p>At the moment my main quest, my mission is my children, home educating them and helping them become ready to be independent people in the world. </p><p>But oh the side quests!!</p><p>Some days I wish I wasn't a person who had side quests, if only I could put aside all that and just be a mum, focus all my attention on that. For some reason God didn't make me that way, He made me to have multiple interests all at once. There's the Art side quest (that was once my main quest too), I love art, it is something that brings me so much joy and peace, expressing myself though paint is a rare but nourishing treat. Then there is the writing side quest, I absolutely love writing, putting a message out there, encouraging others with my words, maybe even improving our income a little bit with various projects (stay tuned for the book I'm writing!), then there is the self-sufficiency side quest that I've already mentioned. These days I prefer to call this "homesteading" which sounds terribly American, but like the American "Homemaker" over "Housewife" describes better what I am aiming for I think. Self-sufficiency feels a bit like I want to cut myself off from community and I don't want that, I also feel it alludes to spiritual self-sufficiency which I also don't want. Homesteading is more about growing what we need, preserving that and using our skills to provide for ourselves or create a small income. Of course my homesteading side quest is very meagre, my little garden of veggies, my efforts to make bread and other food from scratch, to forage what I can, to break away from the system that ties us into working "for the man"! But it gives me an extra sense of purpose, and fuels my rebellious side! </p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="934" data-original-width="421" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEibkYMfiyXAG3QFIOdA1DZhWRegbHkfAjXpbH-4rSGqQbKjQtxR6qTCwh2Px1ARFSms_I2JaimmNkAqjpG8kaPhUDTRg6SJb_Tm_T45akSUyw21YDZxD1Uow3-JhKpOzvuFVGko-QY8W-mXDRXL4RwR-0wVN9Daaq3ujhodTGgn7Lj0kPjerSO-KRHz4rS4" width="108" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgRbrwMqRrfsAKQeQBrNh2eGl0zfAneS8sIk6iOYvs_eymcFjnMrErcPs0cSgkh37QJNCFUreygCL3LV22T_rF-SsSHOqulTGrN6WDUF0X2c2QMdp6DM_F-8X5vUvkXuajSNMBSGaDeLU_QNQBE2AI0DWLx0dv-ObyONuvkDWC71DkThP-Tzz9WFaRSP919" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="198" data-original-width="89" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgRbrwMqRrfsAKQeQBrNh2eGl0zfAneS8sIk6iOYvs_eymcFjnMrErcPs0cSgkh37QJNCFUreygCL3LV22T_rF-SsSHOqulTGrN6WDUF0X2c2QMdp6DM_F-8X5vUvkXuajSNMBSGaDeLU_QNQBE2AI0DWLx0dv-ObyONuvkDWC71DkThP-Tzz9WFaRSP919" width="108" /></a></div></div><br /><p></p><p>I'm certain God is using me in all these ways to glorify him, (which is of course the quest that supersedes all other quests, along with loving God and loving others) I can't say I am certain how yet, maybe it's like one of those films or TV series which have multiple story lines all playing along at once that all converge at the end of the story in one extraordinary climax!! </p><p>In episode 1 of The Good Life Barbara plays a record for Tom on his birthday, a song by Sophie Tucker, I played it for my husband's 40th birthday, you'll recognise the name it's called "Life begins at 40", you can listen to it <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cdbn2f_PCtY" target="_blank">here</a> some of the lyrics are quite poignant, she says:</p><p style="text-align: center;">"<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre;">Yes, life begins at forty</span></p><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center; white-space: pre;">And I've just begun to live all over again</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center; white-space: pre;">You see the sweetest things in life grow sweeter as the years roll on"</div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; text-align: center; white-space: pre;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When I think about this, it does seem true that I have lived half my life and am beginning a second half now. I am done with having babies (very sadly as I'd love more) and the truth is that I am now facing the beginning of "middle age" I'll be thankful if I have another 40 years on earth, maybe I'll get more than that, like my grandpa who is approaching 100, or maybe I'll have fewer years like my dear mother-in-law who died aged just 70. I don't know what the next decades will hold for me, I hope that Sophie Tucker is right and the sweetest things will get sweeter as the years roll on, but one thing is certain, I am not giving up on my dreams. I am not giving up on my dream of homesteading, and I have no intention on giving up on any of my other side quests either, and I want to tell you that you also shouldn't give up on your dreams, it is never too late.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi0SKfD8snn2ZoZdlGEvyJ8Pu2Eqkl4W3YgEOcVIs4gyOcgoiR6zr17Lgi5-B55VYN6ucShC_fJpHx_yHeNPBYWzWlwkSBrTGI4-TXqdZ1YOr4pchub4Jbvzp5s2V5ZPev1XbtCdfuYzPTagAe9hNFq0rr7dbbvdK1xfXfcL4hOkMXbjZG8qFRliaSQHok_" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi0SKfD8snn2ZoZdlGEvyJ8Pu2Eqkl4W3YgEOcVIs4gyOcgoiR6zr17Lgi5-B55VYN6ucShC_fJpHx_yHeNPBYWzWlwkSBrTGI4-TXqdZ1YOr4pchub4Jbvzp5s2V5ZPev1XbtCdfuYzPTagAe9hNFq0rr7dbbvdK1xfXfcL4hOkMXbjZG8qFRliaSQHok_" width="320" /></a></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It's not too late to learn a new skill, to start writing a book, to learn a new language, to learn a new sport, to achieve a physical goal like running, losing weight or starting a new sport, it's not too late to learn to paint, to start a business, or fly a plane! There is so much that can still be done, so many dreams that can still be fulfilled, it is never too late to set a new goal no matter how big or small. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Vera Wang didn't design her first dress till she was 40, Stan Lee created his fort hit comic at age 39, and Laura Ingalls Wilder didn't publish her first Little House book till she was 65! There are hundreds of people who have gone before us, paving the way, starting new dreams after middle age, if they can do it, so can I, and so can you!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></span>
<div style="height: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding-bottom: 56.25%; position: relative;"> <iframe allow="autoplay" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="100%" src="https://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/x7ukh0f?autoplay=1" style="height: 100%; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 0px; width: 100%;" title="Dailymotion Video Player" type="text/html" width="100%"> </iframe> </div>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-34364954842622246822023-08-07T09:29:00.004-07:002023-08-07T09:30:24.579-07:00Joyful Marriage - Nurturing marriage in a culture that doesn't<p> So August is upon us and wet July a distant memory. July was such a challenging month for us and for me personally I have and continue to be really struggling with life right now, home educating four children of different ages, trying to keep on top of a house that is overflowing with things and people who mess it up, helping my husband through grief, financial challenges, the whole shebang. There hasn't been much room for Joy. </p><p>You may remember that every year I choose a word for the year. This year's word is Joyful and each month has had it's joyful focus. Having Joyful as my word of the year has really helped me to be intentional with my thoughts and attention, giving space for me to reflect on how I feel and what positive changes I can make to my life. </p><p>July's joyful focus was marriage, and I will tell you now that I haven't done anything for this goal. July was too stressful and too hard and too overwhelming to give any thought or attention to my marriage other than the bare minimum. Right now we are in survival mode. But now the month is over and I am able to reflect on the notion of joyful marriage I have lots of thoughts and reflections to share with you. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjmKWhPidyjuiGHrG0XLnU6gCTjM3xbgEvE3S5P53vRwiIXNSueiWIqCoxQbUgi4j_ABasF8sxta1Q2lknNS8pzgr4YQP6Zb5b8hwZXWNgUePCFRXF8LcSIZPpo6jq3rirfecmfzG2HgBe-Sdjx447k7H3X_LddWhEwLLuOvCUb9IlPVTOYD0E-AXfcyZ3q" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjmKWhPidyjuiGHrG0XLnU6gCTjM3xbgEvE3S5P53vRwiIXNSueiWIqCoxQbUgi4j_ABasF8sxta1Q2lknNS8pzgr4YQP6Zb5b8hwZXWNgUePCFRXF8LcSIZPpo6jq3rirfecmfzG2HgBe-Sdjx447k7H3X_LddWhEwLLuOvCUb9IlPVTOYD0E-AXfcyZ3q=w400-h266" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">My husband and I on our wedding day 14 years ago</span></div><br />Before you get married there is usually quite a lot of support and encouragement, the church supports you with a marriage preparation course, your friends get together to send you off with a hen/stag do, family often supports you financially for the wedding and help with planning and creating your big day. On your wedding day your family and friends all gather round to celebrate your love for each other, they spend money on new clothes, travel and drinks, they give gifts or money and cards to encourage you. You go on a glorious honeymoon where you get to spend quality time together before getting into the practicalities of married life, the message is clear, marriage is great, we love marriage, woo hoo! Go marriage! You return from your honeymoon, the dust settles, friends and family return to their normal lives, the church goes back to being place for Sundays and you realise...your on your own. <p></p><p>Reflecting on marriage this month has made me realise there is no culture in our society for supporting marriage after the wedding day. </p><p>My husband and I have been married for 14 years this years, and the only people who really support, encourage or care about our marriage is us. We are on our own.</p><p>I don't mean to sound unkind to our parents here, they send us anniversary cards and help us in the usual ways you'd expect parents who don't live very close to help, looking after children from time to time and giving financial support when it's been needed, and I am forever grateful for that. But they, like everyone else who supported us before and at our wedding don't actually do anything to specifically help and support our marriage, I sense that that is considered our business. We are on our own.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgxfZgUbWVMT-cpSTo1MhymySW_oXtJ5kOcqjXyLmJQnjJNI4RciRCHsZUYGPOPLyWIRShoZR6P2enqyRRRsHEHWtPk6wirEmL_GSP6MnsnFDeZVnOSyEZ2wCwO6Dw_tYfYYoGOrf-5fTj97G56DQ59eTIUP-8NFeS4KFoC_2BVPm-J944hqpxltYGzmXMK" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="453" data-original-width="604" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgxfZgUbWVMT-cpSTo1MhymySW_oXtJ5kOcqjXyLmJQnjJNI4RciRCHsZUYGPOPLyWIRShoZR6P2enqyRRRsHEHWtPk6wirEmL_GSP6MnsnFDeZVnOSyEZ2wCwO6Dw_tYfYYoGOrf-5fTj97G56DQ59eTIUP-8NFeS4KFoC_2BVPm-J944hqpxltYGzmXMK" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">On our honeymoon in Italy</span></div><br />The church has never done a follow up on our marriage, my bridesmaids haven't ever inquired over our marriage, none of our wedding guests have checked in on our marriage, we are completely on our own.<p></p><p>Now you might be thinking, well why should any of these people care about supporting our marriage, what's it got to do with them at the end of the day? Our marriage is ours and we are supposed to look after it, to work on it. I totally get this, as I've said, we are in a culture that doesn't support marriage (after the getting married part) and I am just as guilty of not asking the pertinent questions of my married friends and family, but it should, For two important reasons. Firstly because there is a great deal of personal responsibility placed on marriages failing. Divorce is generally blamed on the two people who are part of it. Marriages fall apart for many reasons, but we have to ask what could the community have done to support that married couple in nourishing their marriage, in saving their marriage. No one ever asks "how is your marriage going?" to open up that window of conversation to allow for the opportunity to ask for help or advice, or "what can I do to support your marriage?" No. We struggle on, and then everyone wonders what went wrong, "they were so happy", "they seemed perfect for each other", and the assumption is that there was something wrong with one or both of the partners in the marriage that caused it to fail. There is no culture of talking about marriage struggles and challenges, because we are all supposed to live "happily ever after". If the church, friends and family don't think to, or aren't willing to consider supporting the marriage of the people they so encouraged and celebrated before and during the wedding then they shouldn't just be placing blame on the two partners of the marriage. </p><p>Secondly, we should all care about marriage because it greatly benefits society. Google tells me (and you're welcome to check yourself) that married men are less likely to commit violent crimes and married women are less likely to be victims of violent crime, marriage has been shown to lead to better outcomes for children, married people have better physical and mental health, and marriage leads to better economic outcomes, as with any statistics we don't see the full picture here and I don't mean in any way to imply that my single friends might not be doing as well as me in life or indeed with their children, because I know that's not true, my emphasis is on the fact that we can reliable say that marriage is good for society and therefore there should be an interest in all of us to support and encourage marriage because it makes society better for all of us and not just the two individuals who are part of it. </p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfyocY44qexw4GiNlZ81DVrpm6g1r4RmfhZNzX1szrKv9OTi89W9dFcLwD62cshrF3uAcuU3gOkLn2PecGpGr3QFtUQHXE4uqoghW7JgXCtx-rfG2wlvv-TZFmqtuFVik71oXVZmp8OuYJkSwUUPMIlVrwgPMuI8mswykXiuFlPKlpWykzS6m5b4LbL6Xa/s990/anniversary.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="990" data-original-width="715" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfyocY44qexw4GiNlZ81DVrpm6g1r4RmfhZNzX1szrKv9OTi89W9dFcLwD62cshrF3uAcuU3gOkLn2PecGpGr3QFtUQHXE4uqoghW7JgXCtx-rfG2wlvv-TZFmqtuFVik71oXVZmp8OuYJkSwUUPMIlVrwgPMuI8mswykXiuFlPKlpWykzS6m5b4LbL6Xa/s320/anniversary.png" width="231" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">On our 14 year </span><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">anniversary</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br />So what's to be done? I can't and don't expect for all my loved one to turn around and suddenly be making an effort to support my marriage, as I said, there is no culture in our society for doing this, no one knows how, but there are two things that I CAN do. Firstly I can seek out support, I can ask for recommendations for books, and online courses, I can ask people what they do to nourish their own marriages, I can look to people whose marriages appear to thrive and ask them what their secret is. Secondly I can be the change I wish to see in the world by asking how I can be a support and encouragement for the marriages of my friends and family I can ask the question "How are things in your marriage?" and hold a comfortable space for them to talk about any joys, problems worries or challenges. I can share honesty about marriage and things that have worked for me, I can be open about the fact that marriage can sometimes be hard, needs to be worked on and isn't always a fairy tale. Also I can keep in mind how I can one day support the marriages of my children. One day I hope I can do this not just by offering childcare or money for meals out or nights away but by opening up a conversation about marriage, allowing space for my children to talk about any struggles they might be having without any sense of shame or blame, and to share what things have worked for me and my husband in our marriage. <p></p><p>Do you have a joyful marriage? What do you do to nourish your marriage? I'd love to hear any books, courses or words of encouragement to help my marriage to thrive. I want to make my marriage a joyful one, not just a muddling through one. </p><p>Finally some encouragement for you, a quote, that I love from Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis De Bernieres:</p><p><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; font-family: Lora, "Lora Subset", "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 16px;">Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your root was so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.</span><br style="background-color: whitesmoke; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Lora, "Lora Subset", "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; font-family: Lora, "Lora Subset", "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 16px;">Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.</span><br style="background-color: whitesmoke; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Lora, "Lora Subset", "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: whitesmoke; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Lora, "Lora Subset", "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; font-family: Lora, "Lora Subset", "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 16px;">Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.</span></p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-46579874449157331962023-07-29T11:04:00.003-07:002023-07-29T11:04:37.023-07:00The Bible: A Dangerous Book?- How to tackle the more challenging parts of the Bible with children<p> A few weeks ago my voice appeared on radio for the first time, this was both exciting and cringe worthy. Like many people I don't like the sound of my own voice much, but I gritted my teeth and listened to myself chatting about how I approach the tricky bits of the Bible with my four children. My segment lasted just a few minutes and was edited down from a much longer conversation. Of course this is necessary for radio, but I felt like I wanted to elaborate on what was presented on the radio because I certainly have further thoughts and reflections on the topic. </p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001nlfw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhdtNfU3YoMdsMKOZzQNJ2tnxLgCl29Cs7bP0DhEO8h7WWS_aQ8rL-Hich4U647IxgwKgl6fVLqP5mBlXJBxW1-xBTP7L7uIuPmZ94Lv3E9RwXoZRuQhUwYdP0UkFV0kJIEpEsZBJgKf1mL-ypD-CYHxZ00Pa52wF8yWvwcv3Ig_MBPbI2sSEy8B-QbqH1k=w640-h360" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p>My family motto from my Scottish ancestry is "Never unprepared", so in true Johnson clan style I did a bit of research and wrote a few pages of notes before the conversation.</p><p>My research mainly focused on the Utah Bible ban, the news piece which inspired the discussion in the first place. It was clear from what I read that the whole debacle had been a mockery of the recent ban on explicit literature for children appearing in school libraries. To be facetious it seems, some parents who objected to the initial ban cited the Bible as being grotesquely violent and "one of the most sex-ridden books around", based on it's "violence and vulgarity", as a result the Bible was temporarily banned in some schools. </p><p>The question I was asked to contemplate in the light of this therefore was, how do we teach the violent and/or difficult bits of the Bible to children, and, should we leave out the more challenging parts?</p><p>For me a simple answer to this would be yes, I do think there are parts of the Bible that at certain ages we should leave out. Young children's brains aren't developed enough to be able to comprehend the meaning behind what they might be which could lead to short term harm. The Bible is a complex book with many layers of meaning and depth. While children can understand a great deal of depth and nuance; a straightforward good verses evil battle, even one which appears pretty gruesome, such as David and Goliath, Joshua and the walls of Jericho, Jael with her tent peg or the Israelites escaping from the Egyptian army through the red sea, are straightforward for children, and easy for them to understand the message, there are other stories in which the good and evil is not always obvious. Stories where an apparently innocent person suffers are much more difficult to present to children. The rape of Dinah, the dismemberment of the concubine and the death of the first-borns in the plagues of Egypt for example. Children can understand the good verses evil concept, they understand that God is good and God destroys evil. These stories can be understood by children on quite a superficial level and in spite of their violence, are not traumatising because they know that Good wins in the end. The stories where apparently innocent people suffer or die however can be difficult even for mature Christians to understand, so to expect a child to be able to pick apart how they were parts of God's big plan to show his great love for us would be an inappropriate expectation. Therefore it is my view that these stories should be saved till a more a child's brain is more mature and ready to understand the message behind them. The Bible is not meant to make children fearful, our God is not a God of fear "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God" Isiah 41:10 tells us. So for this reason when they are little I use children's Bibles to read to my little ones. </p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEip0PHY3ktBUY8bb6b4OLIOPhG-QQFxuczZlAPLN2stPKj7bt6O7Sc29frFZEo6G9HvCDgERsaARNdb3Iw_gr--NDy7oWcP_Sfq09tkPBhLmwPe9QlRYqUVdnwq2HHRpreBLaASJBaLY9WnccWD_GhdN9lJOwBawRYDFQY-qVGOXnqBKl6WF1OQPZ5poJGz" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="934" data-original-width="934" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEip0PHY3ktBUY8bb6b4OLIOPhG-QQFxuczZlAPLN2stPKj7bt6O7Sc29frFZEo6G9HvCDgERsaARNdb3Iw_gr--NDy7oWcP_Sfq09tkPBhLmwPe9QlRYqUVdnwq2HHRpreBLaASJBaLY9WnccWD_GhdN9lJOwBawRYDFQY-qVGOXnqBKl6WF1OQPZ5poJGz=w320-h320" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-small;">Some of our children's Bibles</span><br /><br /><p></p><p>There is a time and a place for those more challenging and difficult parts of the Bible.</p><p>Utah State Representative Ken Ivory was quoted saying:</p><p>"Traditionally in America, the Bible is best taught and best understood in the home, around the hearth as a family."</p><p>Now whilst this seems like a rather antiquated scene of the family sat around the fire sharing stories from the ol' family Bible, Ivory does make a good point. The family is a great place to really get stuck into literature, to ask the hard questions and share thoughts, feelings and opinions in a safe space. So in the unlikely event that your child should encounter one of the more difficult stories from the Bible, like those mentioned above, if you have created a home environment that encourages curiosity, questioning and honest conversations, children will feel safe to ask about the more shocking stories and you can read through and discuss the verses together, eliminating shock and fear and revealing how the stories show God's great love for us. You can also pick up a Bible study aid of some sort to help understand the layers of meaning in them as well. I have learnt a lot myself reading through the Bible like this with my children, reading age appropriate stories and finding out about their deeper meaning. </p><p>I think that Ivory doesn't go far enough though, maybe because he sees religion as a private matter, but for Christians raising their children in faith, the church is also a vital place for children to gain understanding and wisdom of more difficult and challenging Bile stories. It's important for children to hear about the Bible from all sorts of different, knowledgeable and spiritually mature people and not just their parents.</p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgyJo5m0bzsyovWR36PM28Pt8sqlu7mWElLc4M8m88o0nDbpcU81qV0gJ2alGK6ALO_4Cs6PQaaIiYCVmhvMGWKmzsF5yCqHvtu9XqGehdjptIVN7O18QAmEb49z6qK3UmrA6PXkA3dXUgVjMZdTYH85nuV2qTnc0Tb8--jCXrR6Ba3bQLH4LVO2shYVWqK" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="934" data-original-width="934" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgyJo5m0bzsyovWR36PM28Pt8sqlu7mWElLc4M8m88o0nDbpcU81qV0gJ2alGK6ALO_4Cs6PQaaIiYCVmhvMGWKmzsF5yCqHvtu9XqGehdjptIVN7O18QAmEb49z6qK3UmrA6PXkA3dXUgVjMZdTYH85nuV2qTnc0Tb8--jCXrR6Ba3bQLH4LVO2shYVWqK=w320-h320" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: center;">From the Jesus Storybook Bible</div></span><p>Obviously it's fairly unlikely that a child will pick up a Bible and encounter one of the more difficult stories on their own, one hopes that if they did they would feel they can approach a parent and discuss the story and ask questions. Occasionally we do encounter a more difficult verse during our Bible reading and study and I will adapt the language to make the story more age appropriate. For example I might say that a woman was attacked, rather than raped. This isn't because I want to pretend to my children that rape doesn't happen or that I am afraid of the subject, it is because I want to maintain my children's innocence. They encounter the darkness of the world every day and I want to limit it, I want to preserve their innocence and goodness as long as possible. They will come across the concept of rape sooner than we would like anyway and I would rather discuss it with them then, than introduce the idea to them earlier. </p><p>Likewise the word "adultery" I would probably change for "ran off with..." Again this isn't because I am a coward and don't want to discuss the idea with them, it's to do with preserving their innocence and preventing them from worrying. </p><p>Another tool I use if we encounter a difficult passage that they may not be mature enough to understand is to allow questions but not necessarily answer them. So suppose they do encounter the word "rape" and they ask me what this means, I might give an age appropriate description, for example "it's when a man attacks a woman" or I might even say "that's not something you need to know right now". </p><p>The fact is that the Bible does contain some dark stories. Of course because it is about the world and real people and darkness is a part of the world and is a part of people. </p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEizA7WFQ7xc6dBZ4aJnyBvod2MIXXeN3mQdLlQlMEnhp0zohL_ip_a8VM9VQK_6pxXDtdWtxskdwRx4KMi7Y3cl8j7wvS7eiZBrcwqEOOkcEv8CDc62o4K7h8BlicINyDgF6weqa8fU0oWjxi31t6xtJKqUT5gvLs7A2020o-ZggSbiuTzJqKhSVa65Qryr" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="934" data-original-width="934" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEizA7WFQ7xc6dBZ4aJnyBvod2MIXXeN3mQdLlQlMEnhp0zohL_ip_a8VM9VQK_6pxXDtdWtxskdwRx4KMi7Y3cl8j7wvS7eiZBrcwqEOOkcEv8CDc62o4K7h8BlicINyDgF6weqa8fU0oWjxi31t6xtJKqUT5gvLs7A2020o-ZggSbiuTzJqKhSVa65Qryr=w320-h320" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">From the Hosanna Bible</span></div><br /><p></p><p>When the Brothers Grimm wrote their fairy tales, they were a lot darker and more sinister than the more sanitised versions we read today. The purpose was to create moralistic tales for the social good, to give children warnings about the world and how to live. Although less gruesome the warnings to children still come through the stories today. The story of Little Red Riding hood warns children not to turn from the path set out for them, to ask questions when you are in doubt and to listen to your gut instinct if something feels wrong. Snow White taking the juicy red apple teaches children that if something looks too good to be true it probably is, not to accept treats from strangers, it tells us that the true meaning of beauty is more than just physical appearance, and to hold onto hope that you can overcome seemingly hopeless circumstances. </p><p>Children being captured by witches, old ladies being eaten by wolves, being tricked into eating and drinking poison, parents dying, slavery...the writers of fairy tales did not shy away from challenging topics, because, like the Bible they reflect the truths that exist in the world, we live the the same world as the fairy-tale characters, and through them we too learn that there is darkness in the world, that we all make mistakes and that there is hope to overcome challenges. Themes of good and evil, truth and lies, beauty and ugliness, capture and rescue, life and death, permeate the tales and all end in a happily ever after. </p><p>In this way they reflect the stories of the Bible, we don't worry about sharing these challenging themes with children through fairy-tales, so we should not shy away from them in the Bible. </p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhGMAWh_ceIukM3HBNeIfLNuGBF3-wCmxGd1JyVl6gniBKPd-VrCrGHT4evIhsbZHkwVexItND0YYhX4HsTNXQRdZsApm8B6a_uENs0tE9wwCDc7ndp2omo8dVmL8EhEO25X0q2gkywZ7ccS_qSa-4ZDAo27UwjIeEuFj3xG0FCbSf2mm1uKCpYv5SWqDuR" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="934" data-original-width="934" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhGMAWh_ceIukM3HBNeIfLNuGBF3-wCmxGd1JyVl6gniBKPd-VrCrGHT4evIhsbZHkwVexItND0YYhX4HsTNXQRdZsApm8B6a_uENs0tE9wwCDc7ndp2omo8dVmL8EhEO25X0q2gkywZ7ccS_qSa-4ZDAo27UwjIeEuFj3xG0FCbSf2mm1uKCpYv5SWqDuR=w320-h320" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">From the Ladybird Children's Bible</div><br /><p>Likewise, each and every challenging story in the Bible is included because they have an important message about God, ultimately they all lead us back to God's amazing love for us. They help us to understand that we live in a fallen world, and how we should live in this world. They help us understand that we are all fallen human beings, each one of us flawed and sinful, just like the heroes we see in the Bible and the characters from our beloved fairy-tales. If God can use those broken people for his glory then he sure as heck can use us too. Unlike Snow White, Cinderella or Hansel and Gretel, in the Bible we see real people over come real human challenges, not made up characters. <span>T</span>his inspires and encourages us, that we too can overcome great challenges that we face in life. We hear about Christians being persecuted and, although it is unlikely that we like John the Baptist will get our heads cut off, it prepares us for the fact that committing our lives to Christ does not mean a ticket to easy street, we will most certainly face persecution at some point in our lives because of our faith. The persecution and death of Jesus himself is completely terrible and gruesome, but it is vital that children learn about it, they need to hear the truth of Jesus being nailed to the cross to understand it's significance and importance for their own lives. </p><p>The big difference between the Fairy-tales of our childhoods and the Bible is that the happily-ever-after that is promised in it is actually true. We really do have a rescuer who has conquered evil and saved us, and one day we will get to experience this ourselves for real. Through Jesus death, as awful and shocking as it was we are not only saved for an equally devastating death, but we receive the gift of living that truth right now. </p><p>So, although the are some very gruesome and dark stories in the Bible, it will always be safe and right and good to read the Bible with our children because through it they can learn the real truth about good and evil, darkness and light, capture and rescue and life and death, and that it is through Jesus, not magic spells, that we can have a real, true happily ever after. </p><p>You can listen to my little segment here: <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001nlfw">https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001nlfw</a></p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-66925462810253578422023-06-28T11:10:00.002-07:002023-06-28T11:10:08.959-07:00Joyful Family - Creating a family culture of joy<p>I realise it is nearly the end of June and I am only now managing to share what my joyful focus has been for this month. It has been an extremely challenging month for my family because we very sadly lost my dear mother-in-law after a long illness. Her passing has taken a huge toll on us all and we are really hanging on by the skin of our teeth. It seems therefore, extra poignant that my word focus for June is "Joyful Family."</p><p>The Bible tells us in Thessalonians 5:16-18 to "Be joyful always, give thanks in all circumstances." And I can tell you that it has been very hard to be joyful and thankful this month. Our family hasn't been very joy filled. </p><p>As many of you know my word for the year this year is "Joyful". Having a word of the year helps me to set goals and remain intentional and mindful as the day, weeks and months pass. I find if I don't have a focus like this I begin to stagnate and drift aimlessly through the year not achieving anything, not growing as a person or maturing in my thoughts and actions. Time seems to pass so quickly when you are busy with little children, they constantly grow and change and are a visual reminder that time is passing, so having a focus helps me slow things down, take notice and squeeze as much juiciness out of life as possible!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGBp9ZT4ct9mEWws34aMCJa467sf7kqv7b5gunBvYYxYGHjdrzz2_o1YTdhkJqN0JlPoFK53aMP6TPvWhTB2tjHJw8Q1jlqqCP4WSs9b664T-TS2kcwjXQCS4w9b-Sg1mMpe_iypf-MlJRBlCeqwsbhs8kXBdSe47KHOrXd7AnhsBoPWkcJmKV52gwS135/s4624/20230613_102210.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGBp9ZT4ct9mEWws34aMCJa467sf7kqv7b5gunBvYYxYGHjdrzz2_o1YTdhkJqN0JlPoFK53aMP6TPvWhTB2tjHJw8Q1jlqqCP4WSs9b664T-TS2kcwjXQCS4w9b-Sg1mMpe_iypf-MlJRBlCeqwsbhs8kXBdSe47KHOrXd7AnhsBoPWkcJmKV52gwS135/s320/20230613_102210.jpg" width="144" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLdZW3QPBeekzTmmBk0ZVsVgQOWO6-PKp2t1eqYPIHN-a2v0R6AfzYbth4WRclwR07uMXi3IIjy_-ainou4ly6p3QKsgTQRm-k_6b1wGhMNiSl_c6_r6HGabY4YMRIPy6XLP9mlBCOmmhXtZX9x8XpaWEqeFx0PLCD_okzG5YmhMv9iSRyD4oJuT_FgwHz/s4624/20230613_133342.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLdZW3QPBeekzTmmBk0ZVsVgQOWO6-PKp2t1eqYPIHN-a2v0R6AfzYbth4WRclwR07uMXi3IIjy_-ainou4ly6p3QKsgTQRm-k_6b1wGhMNiSl_c6_r6HGabY4YMRIPy6XLP9mlBCOmmhXtZX9x8XpaWEqeFx0PLCD_okzG5YmhMv9iSRyD4oJuT_FgwHz/s320/20230613_133342.jpg" width="144" /></a></div></div><p></p><p>May's focus was "joyful body", I confess I didn't make any great changes except from buying some new moisturiser and going for a handful of jogs, but the focus allowed me to think about what changes I want to make for my body and gave me a chance to think about my body, how it feels, what it needs, in order to start making small changes, that add up to big changes. I have been thinking a lot about food recently, wanting to reduce processed food and eat better and about becoming more physically active, in many ways I haven't felt able to actually make the changes, I needed time to meditate on what a joyful body meant to me. But I am excited to start making actual physical changes now which I'm sure I'll share with you at some point. I think that some changes we make in life have to happen over the period of many months, maybe even years, undoing habits and re-laying the rails as it were. Big changes can take time and that's ok. </p><p>So onto June. This month my focus has been/is "Family". A couple of weeks ago we enjoyed some quality time together on a much needed family holiday, although it has to be said it wasn't a relaxing holiday and I did come home feeling like I needed a holiday to recover from the holiday! The change was good though and being together for an intense period of time like that helps you understand each other a little better. I had one moment walking on the beach, chatting with my eldest who is now 11, where I felt like I was walking with a friend. That was a very encouraging feeling, and gave me hope that one day it won't be all correction and discipline and tolerating their noise and mess. </p><p>Family is very important, one of the most important things in life I believe. I know that is hard for some people to hear because many families are a disappointment to them or let their members down terribly, but I think it remains true, and I certainly see people who haven't got good family bonds working very hard to create great new families with their own children. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8P81XvjLZk0jPiATOhe3Ny1nw9GENAGON0uevqP6XdlQC2MxdNpLUFuKiMeH_6m8FmdjmHFLvvxTJiq5SLYwBoBScpKaL7xOVKzuVTOtKX5vB3wGon8ZVFW5drPGpqf3nQ0PKzNlKzh8zb080ZUab8ySBiNBjXcJugsw1HqW6NKPxAW_5u77qRnnOQoFs/s4624/20230617_101912.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8P81XvjLZk0jPiATOhe3Ny1nw9GENAGON0uevqP6XdlQC2MxdNpLUFuKiMeH_6m8FmdjmHFLvvxTJiq5SLYwBoBScpKaL7xOVKzuVTOtKX5vB3wGon8ZVFW5drPGpqf3nQ0PKzNlKzh8zb080ZUab8ySBiNBjXcJugsw1HqW6NKPxAW_5u77qRnnOQoFs/s320/20230617_101912.jpg" width="144" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZKrVzUH_32uvt-gI9ygN1vaN61lNm6J73HTqeIf7qLsZhKsax9iYE5sAOXwQwvjGY7BaK0dGvIJTuvbR9ra0VWf3pQpod7WeMBZO4y21MMeC4vPuc9kOdxXikMHmlNrjxOZjbwoq5ZW2B2KnGhYH2Kfz4vyaOzViTIV1lXGjtSnSdPA1sj6XXHkY7247q/s4624/20230616_174923.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZKrVzUH_32uvt-gI9ygN1vaN61lNm6J73HTqeIf7qLsZhKsax9iYE5sAOXwQwvjGY7BaK0dGvIJTuvbR9ra0VWf3pQpod7WeMBZO4y21MMeC4vPuc9kOdxXikMHmlNrjxOZjbwoq5ZW2B2KnGhYH2Kfz4vyaOzViTIV1lXGjtSnSdPA1sj6XXHkY7247q/s320/20230616_174923.jpg" width="144" /></a></div></div><p>I feel more and more like we do not live in a very family friendly society. There is such a push to get women back to work after having babies with the lure of free childcare and the guilt associated with staying home. I do not believe this is truly about money, I believe this is really about splitting up the family in order to divide a conquer as it were. A family that is able to spend a lot of time together is a family that can develop, grow and nurture their own values, and family that is split is three or four directions for many hours of the day may result in individuals who take on society's values, or their friend's values, or their work-place's values and these aren't always compatible with the family, or, importantly for me, Christianity. Values such as selflessness, caring for the welfare of others over yourself, being content with what we have and being grateful for what we have, to give just a few examples. </p><p>Our family has been through a lot over the past three years, we have faced many unexpected challenges, we don't always get along and we aren't always our best with each other but we love each other very much which is the most important thing and we are always trying to be better. </p><p>There is always work that can be done to make family life more joyful, I decided to create an acronym to put up on the wall to remind our family of what attributes we value and strive for and to bring us all together:</p><p><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>The
Jacksons are:</span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;"><o:p><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;">J </span></b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;">– Joyful<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;">A</span></b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;">–Adventurous<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;">C</span></b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;">– Creative<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;">K</span></b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;"> – Kind<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;">S</span></b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;"> – Selfless<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -16.5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;">O</span></b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;"> – <o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Baguet Script; font-size: medium;">Optimistic</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: medium;">N</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> – Noble</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;">(It took a lot of strength not to write "noisy" for "N"!) Our Surname Jackson means "God is gracious" which is such a helpful meaning for our family. We definitely need God's grace in abundance!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;">Maybe you'd like to create an acronym for your family name which celebrates your ideal values and attributes. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Baguet Script;">Finding moments of joy in everyday family life makes a big difference to your family culture. Choosing to laugh at the little things that might otherwise be annoying, joining in with your children's games, entering into their world, making moments memorable by doing something different, or special and trying new things together can all help to nurture a culture of joy in your family.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOAaZ9sryu3lGd_LLQsvws3qxRMuukS1L2dAutibhM46sUqsolRnZaCZSI8wFVLkufYSPKTwwvFaGzXYgYJfM_1ZjgReRpJDR2ovutQws-7GRZWZ5TkQpROBH1m_HcCNLxW5Jb_OwQFHZIZMwAIqzv1oGGXgno59QtmI4YLXy2cmCFF0y_2COSjb7JAMkE/s4624/20230615_193354.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOAaZ9sryu3lGd_LLQsvws3qxRMuukS1L2dAutibhM46sUqsolRnZaCZSI8wFVLkufYSPKTwwvFaGzXYgYJfM_1ZjgReRpJDR2ovutQws-7GRZWZ5TkQpROBH1m_HcCNLxW5Jb_OwQFHZIZMwAIqzv1oGGXgno59QtmI4YLXy2cmCFF0y_2COSjb7JAMkE/s320/20230615_193354.jpg" width="144" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrRmfeHuYvuzgVDKytyqcm60Z3Cm_mrhONOpnOP_tCRPR5oKuX-FeDc7GnYZRAGq_Cr8tdEUun1rvRsrLEScwq_gEEc931JSUhqI_3rztlhqvL9Nh59ZYc-aVvl5ZyzvFYySSfmkzBx_l5mc8wloqbTQacGQOWdpSLt0f5VS11GS5fa6robfkA79KDeMCY/s4624/20230615_185202.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrRmfeHuYvuzgVDKytyqcm60Z3Cm_mrhONOpnOP_tCRPR5oKuX-FeDc7GnYZRAGq_Cr8tdEUun1rvRsrLEScwq_gEEc931JSUhqI_3rztlhqvL9Nh59ZYc-aVvl5ZyzvFYySSfmkzBx_l5mc8wloqbTQacGQOWdpSLt0f5VS11GS5fa6robfkA79KDeMCY/s320/20230615_185202.jpg" width="144" /></a></div></div><span style="font-family: "Baguet Script"; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><p></p>Being mindful to nurture your family and work on making your family bonds stronger and closer is vital, not only for creating a joyful family for you and it's members to enjoy but for the rest of society as a whole. We know that the family is where we learn the fundamental skills for life, and that people who grow up in strong families are more likely to be happy, healthy and successful. People from stable families have higher life expectancy, lower risk of mental health problems, lower engagement in crime and many other attributes which are beneficial to society as a whole. <div><br /></div><div> Author Sally Clarkson says: "As a mother, you have the opportunity to form your home and family life in such a way that God's reality comes alive to your children each day."<p></p></div><div>Do not underestimate how important your work in building, growing and nurturing your family is. You are building a legacy which which be handed down through the generations and it's reach goes far beyond the walls of your home. </div><div><br /></div><div>So if you are having or have had hard times in your family, I want to encourage you to hang in there, keep working on it, keep striving for closeness, communication and love in your family. And remember that joy is something you choose each and every day. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIGhPNQkv6ZwWL6CG8y0S5jaYSC2xpgyXOf0oQWCyTOoVFalHga9Bjmg0f25JQQv3z6Khu9xP40hN0Uo41SOzz1d2qQj_boir7VrhC7-mitm7wbLFE4djcz1K2Dk1SBjU_XmMh5S3vU3frCEvrBvt_PZxwKcErzYL5Rd7_wbx0cVsm0HO7OoDnsmGZYjuX/s4624/20230618_173952.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIGhPNQkv6ZwWL6CG8y0S5jaYSC2xpgyXOf0oQWCyTOoVFalHga9Bjmg0f25JQQv3z6Khu9xP40hN0Uo41SOzz1d2qQj_boir7VrhC7-mitm7wbLFE4djcz1K2Dk1SBjU_XmMh5S3vU3frCEvrBvt_PZxwKcErzYL5Rd7_wbx0cVsm0HO7OoDnsmGZYjuX/s320/20230618_173952.jpg" width="144" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOTwlfT88disZn1L-MeAd3ypGcbMbTL5gVFSc_4uSBbfM0POXZNMi0cmnTFxOJLlsc0KUfICFQeaOo0WDNfl1M8Z1UgDsa6CpFuYZRLFvPnxVcrbxenGIDM9dmaT2E4p6h_R-Us_D4-LfX7Vv4nZU1Vvx1KplQmIsDZ5QYPvMj9pCoQn52BqPsIqtd6BOb/s4624/20230614_152236.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOTwlfT88disZn1L-MeAd3ypGcbMbTL5gVFSc_4uSBbfM0POXZNMi0cmnTFxOJLlsc0KUfICFQeaOo0WDNfl1M8Z1UgDsa6CpFuYZRLFvPnxVcrbxenGIDM9dmaT2E4p6h_R-Us_D4-LfX7Vv4nZU1Vvx1KplQmIsDZ5QYPvMj9pCoQn52BqPsIqtd6BOb/s320/20230614_152236.jpg" width="144" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This blog post is dedicated to my Mother-in-law, for whom family was most special.</div></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-38707469776640946132023-05-21T11:51:00.002-07:002023-05-21T11:51:41.734-07:00Simple Mushroom Soup<p>It's been ages since I shared a recipe with you all but I made this mushroom soup which was so simple and easy to make I thought it was worth a share.</p><p>I use this recipe whenever I have a glut of mushrooms, which occurs with ridiculous frequency in our house because I'm an appalling housekeeper and buy food without checking what we already have! </p><p>Fortunately I love mushroom soup so all is not lost.</p><p>This recipe is really simple and can be made with as little as three ingredients. I do like to add a bit of a flourish with extra seasoning though so you'll find eight ingredients in this version. But that's eight ingredients you'll very likely find in your cupboards, and can be omitted without a disaster. </p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjaNqqhLMFASeOhCltDAAzBhr5bjkQblJjNOuNzuFVduGxpv9Gm3AmLBU7NnndW70-HfM-vBjdoCMvk3yu5LaabE6jpJqFtyxdpPcek3IT8hpnx6ujN_tGP29S1Mtp4_l_IFRGcoNtpWpkkeqIZ0fnhjX6Nfux7EEizIFu3zSQd7lW5i4NXlQ9c7l013A" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjaNqqhLMFASeOhCltDAAzBhr5bjkQblJjNOuNzuFVduGxpv9Gm3AmLBU7NnndW70-HfM-vBjdoCMvk3yu5LaabE6jpJqFtyxdpPcek3IT8hpnx6ujN_tGP29S1Mtp4_l_IFRGcoNtpWpkkeqIZ0fnhjX6Nfux7EEizIFu3zSQd7lW5i4NXlQ9c7l013A=w141-h313" width="141" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Anyway enough chit chat let me get on with the recipe:</p><p>Begin by adding a good knob of butter or dairy free spread (which is what I use, flora is my favorite) to a pan and let it melt.</p><p>Next chop two large brown onions into small slices and add them to the pan. Gently fry them till they're soft and a little bit caremalisd.</p><p>Whilst the onions are cooking slice all your mushrooms, then dump them into the pan with the onions. </p><p>Cook this down till the mushrooms are soft, then its time to add the seasoning.</p><p>I use one vegetable stock cube, ground garlic, black pepper and if you have it, dried parsley. </p><p>Give this a bit of a stir and add about 500ml of boiled water. Give it a whizz with a stick blender or whatever you have and voila! Delicious, garlicy, oniony, mushroom soup, delicious served immediately with buttery sourdough bread.</p><p>Ingredients:</p><p>Butter,</p><p>2 large brown onions,</p><p>Approximately 750g chestnut mushrooms,</p><p>1 vegetable stock cube,</p><p>1/2 tsp garlic granules, </p><p>1/4 tsp ground black pepper,</p><p>1 tsp dried parsley,</p><p>500ml boiled water.</p><p>For the short version, simply fry the onions and mushrooms and add a stock cube for an equally delicious meal. </p><p><br /></p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-15805836774146196282023-05-08T05:44:00.002-07:002023-05-08T05:44:28.945-07:00Joyful Body<p> As you know my word for the year this year is "Joyful", for the month of May I have decided to focus on working towards a joyful body. </p><p>I cringe slightly at the word "body"; it feels fleshy and like restriction. But this month isn't about criticising my post partum body or restricting my food intake to try and force my body to comply with beauty standards. Yuck. No, this month I am going to focus on nourishing my body, treating it like the gift from God that it is, treating it like it really is a temple for the Holy Spirit and a part of me that I want to last and be healthy for a long time. </p><p>This month I will turn 40. what an amazing gift to have lived to see 39 years, to have grey hairs on my head and a few unwanted hairs sprouting from my chin! I love this bit in Diana Gabaldon's book "The Fiery Cross" where Jamie is admiring Claire's greying hair, he compares it to his mother's who, he says: ""...hadna one grey hair...[because she died young]...to see the years touch ye gives me joy Sassenach," he whispered, "for it means ye live."" My grey hairs too are a sign that I have had the privilege to live long enough to acquire them. The Bible even praises grey hair as "a crown of splendour, it is attained in the way of righteousness." (Proverbs 16:31.)And who would I be to argue with that?</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgMbsvml4WpkinmLiJutyv9n6NpLYMa2vEr19CvzfRUXsrCpXRxBbJWw2Vy9caJn13VyBL9qsq4I73JwruTAiVgb_e6YYAIFuUWYCp6zFCIKCKzF0chG8YSKtbs9lY1NHSJMj0pPJG-fkIsFNBkI9zjJ5Db0zQsx2kdbjdxt_R_gqFBpcatr8_erLLOiQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="500" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgMbsvml4WpkinmLiJutyv9n6NpLYMa2vEr19CvzfRUXsrCpXRxBbJWw2Vy9caJn13VyBL9qsq4I73JwruTAiVgb_e6YYAIFuUWYCp6zFCIKCKzF0chG8YSKtbs9lY1NHSJMj0pPJG-fkIsFNBkI9zjJ5Db0zQsx2kdbjdxt_R_gqFBpcatr8_erLLOiQ" width="300" /></a></div><br />I am so thankful to my body for what it has achieved over the past 39 years, grey hairs and all, especially the last 10 or so years of growing, birthing and breastfeeding babies. I think it's in pretty good nick! But it needs a bit of a pamper, I have given a lot to others with my body and it feels right to spend some time giving back. <p></p><p>But before I go into how I am going to create a "Joyful Body" in May I want to reflect on April, whose focus was "Joyful Home". I feel like I already know what my word of the year for 2024 will be as I have felt like "home" is far too big for one month and it could easily be my focus for a whole year, it's been such a lovely thing to focus on. My goals with "Joyful home" were to finish off some bits and pieces round the house that had been neglected and to work on improving the atmosphere by renewing our rhythms, routines and traditions. I am pleased with some of the progress I made, but what I didn't get to work on was the atmosphere of the home, if anything it was worse this month than usual. Bank holidays, extra days off work for my husband and too much chocolate definitely put the month out of whack, getting into good rhythms, inserting new traditions and spending time refining the atmosphere of our home felt like an impossibility, there were too may arguments, too much friction, too much screen time and too much overwhelm for me. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="531" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiZV-3VFIyV29clLNbu2aNmt-nF4FhhGCDxQEJM5AW7zSJhdLRd785niKxpLMLHh8_akq8PsXdbiKXTtMJI3lh1HXehndhLILBxL6JkMqYGRtIm5zFz7X97LP1RKwGE8y5vqXOGjfCwl9Yd6GvcOwbUSE062uN40NEXhf933Att7nIDf6j6NS6XFRQ-lg" width="135" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhKipt3lx8ys3_G4TMAQ6ShI1pRjXOY4bK5UX4zHNr9lWIhEFAss8YbLenYQj-ssOI-cSISj1LGAzYwQeScfEF_XVQ6F44fMpNvF7fBnJpJLMWNzCQTNCY2B1UwSfdfMVHDf9WKqFgUP3Rh_4KdabcyQR84VX4ToFtpXOoj_TejvqIOeKJCzVEMx-0VLQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="531" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhKipt3lx8ys3_G4TMAQ6ShI1pRjXOY4bK5UX4zHNr9lWIhEFAss8YbLenYQj-ssOI-cSISj1LGAzYwQeScfEF_XVQ6F44fMpNvF7fBnJpJLMWNzCQTNCY2B1UwSfdfMVHDf9WKqFgUP3Rh_4KdabcyQR84VX4ToFtpXOoj_TejvqIOeKJCzVEMx-0VLQ" width="135" /></a></div></div><br /><p></p><p>However it wasn't a total loss as I did make improvements to the physical home that we live in. I bought some frames and put up some beautiful Hannah Dunnett prints that I've had for a while, I ordered some photos from our old house to be printed and put them in a big frame that I bought before we moved, I emptied a couple of stale old boxes full of papers and other junk that I still hadn't unpacked from the move, I bought a new rug for the living room and I finished the dining room off. Little things, but things that have been hanging over me and meaning to do for ages and I feel a sense of accomplishment in having achieved them. I also had a bit of a spring clean, which, shall we just say, is ongoing, and I might even change the name to summer clean, or just all year round clean. Cleaning seems never ending. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="425" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgKlMzz_Zfhk2fDQq_JkFWU8nehV-heZIKtVwBX2hcXLkT2hYaP6Lqfmqp6rfPmPTBsdamrJTcW0mkoiIoQf0ePQnnwftOuwngJKMIXlQ6sNQjQ9pD-m6TJ1HbbmPRqCUP5BswdD8E43UKup7kRoXBXjTJ_Sc773kDTIjnSSgY3NqMQGqnIxq2Gh8We5w" width="108" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhZEAvGkzvW5E01BjnIdEbA-jplCFk27Yl_wRCgdoPUpLWvp_2gruwH2mcr2GJPpALfFdnCQQnxkDHaU6XRhGdJJczm4uDELuAJH-27gODPLDtJcDKkzQ-SXCPM7bWsTf831s8uB7VJ_MK9ZuW3Ny-S6FuxhmBzHxi2Bw-BXsefvUzRi2a_EG0pNGEmWQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="425" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhZEAvGkzvW5E01BjnIdEbA-jplCFk27Yl_wRCgdoPUpLWvp_2gruwH2mcr2GJPpALfFdnCQQnxkDHaU6XRhGdJJczm4uDELuAJH-27gODPLDtJcDKkzQ-SXCPM7bWsTf831s8uB7VJ_MK9ZuW3Ny-S6FuxhmBzHxi2Bw-BXsefvUzRi2a_EG0pNGEmWQ" width="108" /></a></div></div><br /><p></p><p>So onto May and "Joyful Body". First on my list of things-to-do is to purchase some multi vitamins, my poor neglected body hasn't had to benefit of multi vitamins since I was pregnant and it desperately needs some. I buy Pregnaplan from Cytoplan, not because I am pregnant but because I am breastfeeding so I still need to be careful about the quantities of some vitamins I am taking. Their vitamins are made from food so they are better absorbed into the body than synthetic alternatives, I don't get paid by them or anything I just like their vitamins. I am also going to get some nice moisturiser, I used to use a lovely cream made from natural oils by a company called Akamuti, but in a bid to be frugal I have been using plain coconut oil, I want to treat myself a bit so I am going to buy them again. Again not paid just enjoy the product.</p><p>Obviously my diet needs an overhaul, we have been eating far too much processed food, and I am coming to believe that the main cause for ill health and overweight is processed foods and overuse of seed oils. Just this weekend as a treat we bought some vegan squirty cream to top my scones and jam and I had a peek at the ingredients (maybe I shouldn't have!) The first ingredient is water, fine, second in ingredient is fully hydrogenated palm oil, third ingredient sugar, followed by a whole host of unpronounceable additives. I think I probably won't ever eat this stuff again. It's not real food and I want real food. I'm not sure what I will replace it with at this point but my goal is wholefoods because I know this is healthier and likely better for the environment. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="425" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjY6fD1CryLRH04FskSdS9MCmCUKArC41Je14ysXEIfsgvNXU4uhqVJLx04tj7g3k8pEQgBvo_E5MVvHqURJ3ncD5oISwYRjsyb7JxhcfterwjHKWosfpDbtItXpLCnFnaKHXVAjG-It1zqXyDRzprzB8ewNEnLu7AA0sc7oRVkQ6vKvXeb4Jlxz9BfPg" width="108" /> <img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="425" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgJJjVCnYLrig_X1jWRskZlHmbJFpZmTrn3Pro-woVOI8Kxw3Af_PAyV-xK1vZDWo-jGPx3nu0v7k6_m4Dk2cdZW1Xkl3adNhDZFk9RlSVbFzgFBU6nZTuHNPJd7D1dDzT9j9F-WjofNbparmuF9C8qzEYtI_tofMzgDI9OD3HaGao3UW7wG1tirbSJtw" width="108" /></div></div><p></p><p>We have been trialling gluten free for the past two months in a bid to improve my one year olds skin which has been plagued by eczema almost since birth. His skin is currently hugely improved but gluten hasn't been our only change so I will add in the gluten this month and see where we are. Being able to go back to eating gluten will improve our diets hugely because I have been relying on gluten free versions of our usual foods which of course means lots of additives. Gluten free bread has about half the fibre, protein and carbohydrates of wholemeal bread per 100g so the nutritional benefits of eating wheat are clear. I have not experienced any health benefits from cutting out gluten so I see no reason to continue restricting if my baby's skin remains healthy, and I'm looking forward to making my own bread again.</p><p>This poor body of mine is in dire need of some exercise, although I am always on the go, I haven't done any intentional exercise since I was about 12 weeks pregnant and I know it's time to start again. I'd really like to start jogging again, I used to love it but had to stop because of back pain, but I would like to ease myself into it again and see how I do. I also need to get back into doing some stretches and exercises to improve my core, I feel like I have no muscle function at all in that area, when I bend over it feels like I am only using my back muscles to stand up again which is likely causing me back issues, so core exercises are another thing to do. All this I will find very challenging to squeeze into my schedule. Home educating 4 boys takes up virtually all my time and I get very little free time, and this little I do get I usually spend doing what I am doing right now...writing. So carving out some extra time for exercise is going to be tricky but I will see what I can do. </p><p>Seeing as my brain is a part of my body I probably ought to do something to improve that too. My poor old brain is very fuddled at the moment. Possibly the hardest thing about being a parent and especially about having them home all the time, and especially about them all being boys (this is scientifically proven by the way, not gender stereotyping) is the high level of stress I experience for long stretches of time. This isn't the kind of stress I used to experience as a teacher in a secondary school which was more pressure and time related. This stress is to do with my brain constantly being made to believe that something dreadful has happened and it's a big emergency and I have to rush and save my children from a life threatening disaster. Let me explain, I don't know if this is unique to boys, or unique to my boys, but they do very alarming things and make very alarming noises which signify either real or fabricated emergency. Unfortunately my brain can't distinguish between the two so is almost constantly on high alert and is regularly being injected with cortisol and adrenaline thinking it is going to need to send my body into fight mode to rescue my children from some terrible foe, or some sort of horrible accident. Sometimes it is a horrible accident or emergency, like a child jumping from a high height and breaking his foot, or accidentally cutting himself with a whittling knife, or getting himself so stuck in a tree that I have to saw a branch off, or disappearing in a busy public place (I could go on). And sometimes it is fabricated such as one child won't let the other have the TV remote, or a fight breaks out on the trampoline, or someone doesn't like the dinner I made, or doesn't want to go to the group we are supposed to attend and they scream like they are being murdered. My brain can't tell the difference so is constantly stressed, there are studies that show mothers of boys are more likely to suffer from dementia in later life because of the higher level of stress that boys cause, (<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022395622005696">read about it here if you like</a>) and since no one else is going to bother to take care of my brain health I need to do something now to protect it for later on. But what to do? Well diet and exercise can mitigate some of the effects of stress, I think I also need to try and do some sort of meditation (cringe) and dedicate some time to prayer. Again carving this time out in my busy day is going to be difficult but I need to try for the sake of my future health. </p><p><span> So I think that's about it for now, May is my favourite month of the year so I'm looking forward to taking care of myself a bit this month. If you got this far, thank you for reading, do you have a focus for your month? What is your word of the year? How is it going? Consider this your reminder to reflect on your word of the year, why you chose it and what you want from it and also don't forget to take some time to take care of yourself, you matter too in this busy life, you care better for others when you are well cared for yourself. </span><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> </p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-18912427278796912242023-04-02T08:47:00.000-07:002023-04-02T08:47:18.875-07:00Joyful Home<p>Yesterday marked two years exactly since we moved from a tiny two bed semi in a large housing estate just outside Reading to a 4 bed house in a little village in the Forest of Dean. It's been an incredible journey full of surprises, not least finding out I was pregnant two weeks after moving! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhyG-zyA689kS32Dygkl_soZMal5GVEK0sPT_BKD2VK5XcyN5_tZfDQQx8Ad3sPIQ2gKY27w4d9HYCRWddi-XUhBKB9DlVFuTpI8qp75uE_a_WPkz0QnJIhe_UBVSM0h1xxHnnGyGAXPYoHSq-wKV2sX9__3f6BrOnkV0aq9EyhYMGL3eRGqXKhVajfeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2604" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhyG-zyA689kS32Dygkl_soZMal5GVEK0sPT_BKD2VK5XcyN5_tZfDQQx8Ad3sPIQ2gKY27w4d9HYCRWddi-XUhBKB9DlVFuTpI8qp75uE_a_WPkz0QnJIhe_UBVSM0h1xxHnnGyGAXPYoHSq-wKV2sX9__3f6BrOnkV0aq9EyhYMGL3eRGqXKhVajfeg" width="135" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p>We had great plans for our new home when we moved in, and perhaps we might have done them if we hadn't had to deal with pregnancy and a new-born, plus two bouts of covid, one of which nearly finished my husband off. We have, for some reason, suffered a lot of health issues since we moved including being diagnosed as asthmatic and my husband suffering from long covid, which have also impeded our progress on transforming our new house into our forever home. </p><p>I am incredibly thankful that we have this beautiful space to live in with plenty of rooms and a big garden, and although we haven't achieved as much as we thought we would have in two years, we have had some successes including painting five of the rooms, getting new double glazing fitted, removing our old fire place and hearth and getting a log burner fitted, fitting a shelving unit in the dining room and lifting the patio and laying it to lawn. But perhaps more important than all those we have found a wonderful community here in the forest, of neighbours, home educators and Christians who have really helped us to feel at home here even if our house isn't quite feeling as settled as we'd like.</p><p>However, I am now feeling like the time is right to really knuckle down to improving our house, because, although I am proud of our accomplishments we have definitely slowed our progress in recent months (winter has an tendency to do that to you). But now spring is here, albeit a rather wet one and I am ready to tackle some new challenges. Spring time brings renewal and for me, a desire to have a good spring clean, freshen things up and get a few more jobs ticked off our to-do list. For these reasons I felt that April would be a good month to start creating a joyful home.</p><p>You may remember that my word of the year this year is "Joyful". I spent January thinking, praying and reading to help me work out what having a joyful year meant to me. February was focused on "Joyful Parenting" and March's focus was "Joyful Home school". Before I get down to the details of crafting a joyful home, I was to spend a bit of time on last month's "Joyful Home school" focus.</p><p>At the start of March I talked to you about how our home school was feeling very disheartening and I was feeling very discouraged. This month I tried a few new things but I must admit, a month doesn't feel like a very long time to make big changes in your life, and I'll be honest with you, I am still struggling to make our home school feel enjoyable. But I know this is just a small part of a large picture, that each new day is a fresh start and that my goals don't end just because the month has, I can keep on working on crafting a joyful home school for years and years to come. </p><p>One things that I did to try to make things more joyful was to say "yes" to more spontaneous and fun things. One of the days the boys had asked to go for a play in a particular playground, I agreed even though no formal work had been done that day. When we were in the playground my eldest saw a man with a pack of fish and chips and asked if we could go and get some. My initial response was to say no and come up with a list of excuses for why we couldn't get chips; too expensive, not just before lunch, we don't have time. But I decided to say yes. We drove to the chip shop then back to the playground and ate the chips on paper with little forks and sachets of ketchup in the car because it had started to rain. Something so simple but the boys loved it and it turned an ordinary day into a memorable day.</p><p>Another day, after of what seemed like weeks of rain we were invited to a beautiful nature spot in the forest to hang out for a morning. My initial though was that we couldn't, we had work to do and I didn't want to make a packed lunch. But I decided to say yes and we ended up having a lovely time on one of the only sunny days that week. </p><p>Maths and English hasn't felt like such a chore this month either for some reason, the boys have been much more willing to sit down and get it done. I wonder if this might be because I have worked with them individually rather than trying to do it altogether at the table and I have let my eldest do his work up in his room. </p><p>Our topic of Australia has also felt good. We were getting a big bogged down with the history so I decided to switch things up (inspired by some things I had seen on Pinterest (if your ever struggling for ideas to spice up your home school Pinterest is a really great place to go for ideas.)) and create a sort of 3D relief model of the topography of the Island, it was fun once we got started and the outcome ended up looking amazing and the boys were really proud. I need to remember that I can be flexible in our approach to a topic and that it doesn't need to be studied in a strict, orderly way, it's ok to jump around from idea to idea to build up a picture of the place. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiebaADL_MP6tIeQmNTRC-uXUFblfvVm2oz8_7f2-d9ycT7qKqmZ9mTjTHRN1OqwsIcKhlYnHLaElz1H9peYbPLWmRSOTdidILUYzk7ny-7w3x8vNbQq0smrJgavvigiez_JtEB56521xgCW-MbIBYYD1qDc_UcEqGoRXqlh_7CHc2QFIQqZgdOtixUvQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4624" data-original-width="2084" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiebaADL_MP6tIeQmNTRC-uXUFblfvVm2oz8_7f2-d9ycT7qKqmZ9mTjTHRN1OqwsIcKhlYnHLaElz1H9peYbPLWmRSOTdidILUYzk7ny-7w3x8vNbQq0smrJgavvigiez_JtEB56521xgCW-MbIBYYD1qDc_UcEqGoRXqlh_7CHc2QFIQqZgdOtixUvQ=w180-h400" width="180" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p>I read a little book called "Joyful home school" (it was certainly appropriately titled) which gave me a few ideas about how changing my own mindset might make our home school life more joyful. Gratitude, positive thinking and descriptive praise were all key features, things I already know really but need reminding of. I have often had rather sceptical, negative thoughts about the power of positive visualisation and thinking, and gratitude, not without good reason but because it does not always align with the teachings of Christianity, and it can become an idol whereby we rely on our own ability to think positively, visualise positively and verbalise our gratitude to make good things happen and stop relying on God. However the Bible does also affirm that thinking good thoughts, and gratitude can help you have positive outcomes: </p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e;"><span style="font-family: times;">Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><span class="text Prov-4-23" id="en-NIV-16514" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #1e1e1e; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Above all else, guard your heart, </span><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #1e1e1e; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="text Prov-4-23" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23</span></span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #303234; letter-spacing: 0.7px;"><span style="font-family: times;">Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7</span></span></p><p>Those verses from Philippians have been such an encouragement to me this year and as I said at the start of this year, they remind me that the important thing to remember about joyfulness is that it is a choice and that it comes from Christ Jesus. Any positivity or gratitude, although it might make things feel better are ultimately meaningless unless I rely on the Lord for my strength and place all my desires in his hands. I have to remind myself time and again that it is ultimately God's will that I should be seeking. </p><p>And so as I begin a new focus for the month of April, the most important thing is to remember that all my hopes and prayers must be asked in Jesus name and for it to be God's will. </p><p>So, all that being said. I now look to a month of April and how I will create a "Joyful Home". At the moment our home does not feel very joyful. Mainly because it is a big mess but also because of the unfinished look of the place and the fact we are missing some items that would help it be less messy for example shelves where there are none, toilet roll holders and towel rings, and hooks. I never realised how much I use and enjoy hooks until I had none! We also need to add some finishing touches that would help our home feel more homely like pictures and art to put on the wall and boxes that remain sadly unpacked. </p><p>Those are the physical aspects that would help our home feel more joyful but there are other areas that need work too. Our daily, weekly and monthly rhythms for example, making set times for doing certain things that bring joy and togetherness. A lot of my good ideas, habits and intentions have either remained just that or have fallen by the wayside because they felt too much like hard work compared to just letting the boys watch TV. This obviously needs to change. I need to pull my finger out and start being more intentional with my routines and rituals, to take the harder but ultimately more rewarding choices. </p><p>I am thankful that this month includes the Easter holidays because that means I can crack on with house jobs and feel less guilty about having a break from formal lessons. The boys can play and I can work on crafting a beautiful and creative home for my family.</p><p> </p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjoenMmN1pMCcK6pwE8a2wSEiJSNUurA8oQiokteLtuO9qgs_Lqa6aVv2v-uCT1jITkv5PKGRdWKONIZSaQvHGsCa0H5YX_8xYccy5JvPNqrwDdQfh7pKzl5NomeF_pAMJ-PaushrVCfi3p_P6WC7jD5OHC_v_MUrLzyvYEjXZbZQPdLouCGyXl7owgaQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2604" data-original-width="4624" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjoenMmN1pMCcK6pwE8a2wSEiJSNUurA8oQiokteLtuO9qgs_Lqa6aVv2v-uCT1jITkv5PKGRdWKONIZSaQvHGsCa0H5YX_8xYccy5JvPNqrwDdQfh7pKzl5NomeF_pAMJ-PaushrVCfi3p_P6WC7jD5OHC_v_MUrLzyvYEjXZbZQPdLouCGyXl7owgaQ" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEin81Fzc_dT6DTRnQDjxVIAOkVJ2bacBGO_52kX_m7D7l5PPK5u-23BLb18K5fhio3ixMbgDvgIkiGUZ_GpK9l4DL9SedklAipknilfvUoRt8Asjzn5Gd1cp2luOGI1yW804ohOlfF8GyEEjBIx5vARtb6qyYKbtia3Z64MQ2ArMeDV6EWumzsoOIIE5g" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2604" data-original-width="4624" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEin81Fzc_dT6DTRnQDjxVIAOkVJ2bacBGO_52kX_m7D7l5PPK5u-23BLb18K5fhio3ixMbgDvgIkiGUZ_GpK9l4DL9SedklAipknilfvUoRt8Asjzn5Gd1cp2luOGI1yW804ohOlfF8GyEEjBIx5vARtb6qyYKbtia3Z64MQ2ArMeDV6EWumzsoOIIE5g" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhV5e6NpsIZH1S4r31NvHm5FEhmiX4r6CyAV6wOKDtMc-kkxLzV4obQVafWU5BBAkHdyaxUTyVRnEq4SVWHJJMDIee-bewASG9R-uO7grftSN741U3dXDgdPEff_AS3LmVsS6_bw-BDEXyVT6oj-EUfUK8ghpiDEBwpIBD5jb4tLV2wfsikRV9x9CweJg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2604" data-original-width="4624" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhV5e6NpsIZH1S4r31NvHm5FEhmiX4r6CyAV6wOKDtMc-kkxLzV4obQVafWU5BBAkHdyaxUTyVRnEq4SVWHJJMDIee-bewASG9R-uO7grftSN741U3dXDgdPEff_AS3LmVsS6_bw-BDEXyVT6oj-EUfUK8ghpiDEBwpIBD5jb4tLV2wfsikRV9x9CweJg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p>I will be revisiting Sally Clarkson's book Lifegiving home to remind me of what is important and that it's not about spending a lot of money, but creating a loving and nurturing atmosphere that makes a joyful home and I will be taking with me the words of advice from "Joyful Homeschool" about positive thinking, gratitude and the other excellent points made which remind me that joy is not just about what we do but a mindset. I will inevitably buy another book or two to help me on this journey and I will show you the results next month. Hopefully I'll not only have visual changes to share with your but also atmospheric changes which reflect an injection of joyfulness into our home. </p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-48247709749433655652023-03-05T10:42:00.002-08:002023-03-05T10:42:40.618-08:00Joyful Homeschool<p>I am certain that some British friends would wince at my use of the term "home school". In the UK the term for teaching your children at home is "Home education". Some people can become quite pedantic about not using the term "home school" because they say it implies school at home, which is, quite rightly what we are trying to get away from. However I have found the term "home school" to be very useful. It certainly rolls off the tongue more easily that "home education", and I have found that it is more easily understood by questioning strangers. Funnily enough my children have taken to using "home school" to describe what we do in spite of my correcting them in the past. I think they simply find it easier to say and they find they are better understood. </p><p>I think you'll agree that "joyful home school" has much more of a ring to it that "joyful home education". My argument, like our American friends (who typically use the term "home school" in favour of "home education") is that in actual fact home school is <i>not </i>school-at-home. The word school has several definitions, one of which is the place which children go to to receive an education, this could be home could it not? Similarly the word "schooled" as in "home schooled" simply means to receive an education. So using the term "home school" certainly does not mean the replication of the institute of "school" at home. </p><p>All that to say, today I am talking about my word of the year "joyful" and how I am going to be attempting to apply it to our home school (home education!). </p><p>Before I begin I would like to take a moment to reflect on my February focus which was "Joyful Parenting". I read "Yell Less, Love More" By Sheila McCraith, and am about half way through "Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys" by Noel Janis-Norton. I really enjoyed McCraith's book she is very honest and wears her heart on her sleeve which really helps you to feel a connection to her; it makes her very relatable. I also enjoyed all her tips for yelling at your children less. She gives lots of ideas for strategies to use to get a handle on your yelling. It is a fairly gentle approach to parenting and does ask her readers to examine what behaviours can be triggering, and how to manage them, I like this idea more than the idea of having to spend time in counselling to supposedly overcome your triggers, learning to manage them is much more realistic. However I have found that what you mostly need is a heck of a lot of self control to stop yourself from yelling, and what I really need more of are strategies to stop my children from doing things that <i>cause </i>me to yell. This is where "Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys" by Noel Janis-Norton has been really useful. I absolutely love her no-nonsense way of talking about children's behaviour, no messing about with talking about "big feelings", she quite honestly describers some behaviours as annoying (thank you!) and gives really practical and achievable ways to help your children become less annoying! I am about half way through this book and am already putting some of her techniques into practice, for example using praise (shocking!), more specifically descriptive praise ("I noticed you put your plate in the kitchen") rather than hyperbolic praise ("Oooh fantastic plate carrying!"), and reflective listening. I am finding the reflective listening really helpful with my 6 year old he responds really well to it, but I often forget about the techniques and fall back into old habits of yelling, begging and coercing. I also realise I also need to get my husband on board so that we can be a united front for things to really change. There is still much to work on, and I will be continuing to hold "joyful parenting" in my mind as I move into my March focus of "Joyful Home school". </p><p>When I saw that I had chosen "Home school" to be the focus on this month I wanted to skip it, or switch it with something easier. How on earth can I make our home school joyful? It really doesn't feel joyful right now. The main problem is that my boys do not want to do <i>anything </i>that I suggest. All they want to do is play with their friends or have their eyes on a screen. Screens have become extremely problematic in our house in spite of me restricting them. And I do believe strongly in restricting screen time (you can read my blog post about it if you like). I don't believe children's brains are developed enough to be able to self regulate their screen time when it is, by nature so incredibly stimulating and addictive. What is more, I do in fact have to give them an education. I am obligated to by law. I know that this can look very different to a school education, and I understand that some people who take an "Unschooling" approach to their children's education would encourage me to let them do what they like, (which I hear can include unlimited screen access), but I am just not the right personality to be able to do that. It would cause me far too much anxiety. Also I love learning and what I longed for when we decided to home educate was to share my love of learning with them; I want to show them all the beautiful things, all the art, all the music, amazing world history, astonishing geography, mind-blowing science, I want to show them the world, and I want them to share in my excitement about it all and I want to share in theirs. So how can I do this without the tears, tantrums and repeated chants of "no," or "I'm not doing it," or "it's boring", or "I hate...(insert whatever it is I'm suggesting here...")? The answer right now is that I don't know! To be honest I really don't understand it because, as much as I hated school, I loved learning, I loved finding things out, drawing diagrams, writing descriptions, stories, being creative... Is it because I am Female and I'm just wired differently? I don't know, but something needs to change.</p><p>I have seen some people suggest that I could grab one of their interests and run with it. For example, my boys are quite into Minecraft, and I have seen products online such as Minecraft Maths books for example. Unfortunately my boys know from a mile away when I am trying to make something "educational", they're not that easily tricked! </p><p>Likewise, some have suggested that by letting them really get into the thing they are interested in, I might be facilitating for them to be then next amazing xbox game designer or coding expert. However I would argue that in order to be a producer of something that requires creativity, a game designer for example, one needs to have a bank of experiences, images, sensations, art, understanding about the world etc in their hearts and minds to draw from in order to create something new and exciting. I don't believe anyone ever created anything extraordinary from simply playing the old games day in day out.</p><p>What is more I quite simply don't want them glued to a screen every day. I do not believe it is healthy, I do not believe it is nourishing or enriching and I do not believe it will help them to turn into good men who give something positive to the world. I want to spend time with them, get to know them, share experiences with them and have opportunities for expanding their hearts and minds with new ideas and knowledge. And I want them to experience all the good and beautiful things first hand. </p><p>Talking to the boys, what they do seem to enjoy is field trips, though there is still a degree of resistance in leaving the house. Unfortunately field trips can be expensive, they're tiring, and some things just can't be learnt through field trips alone. They enjoy doing experiments, but again not everything can be learnt or experienced through an experiment. </p><p>I want them to be free to enjoy their childhoods without the pressure that comes with a school education, but I also need to teach them maths, and how to write and spell and at the moment, this part is like pulling teeth! Help! I really have no clue what the answer is at the moment, so of course I am doing what any sensible person does in an unknown situation, I am going to buy books! (My husband will be thrilled!) As March unfolds I will see how I can inject more joy into our home learning, and I'll report back here so you can find out how it went! </p><p>I really believe home education can be a joyful experience for both me and my children, at least 90% of the time, that's the goal. Joyful home school here we come!</p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-68887841798316227052023-02-04T08:22:00.000-08:002023-02-04T08:22:07.641-08:00Joyful Parenting<p> At the beginning of this year I chose "Joyful" as my word of the year, and I have been using January to think about this word and map out how I will navigate creating a more joyful year for myself.</p><p>One area of my life which I have been finding especially joyless has been my parenting. So I've decided to have parenting as my focus for growth in February. Currently my parenting is feeling very joy-less. I have got myself into a lot of bad habits. Joyful parenting for me does not look like:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Yelling, </li><li>shaming, </li><li>making my children feel sad, </li><li>punishments,</li><li>distracting myself from my children with social media, </li><li>Not praising</li><li>not having time for my children,</li></ul><div>I'm ashamed to say I've been doing far too much of this recently. </div><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"></ul><p></p><div>But equally joyful parenting doesn't feel like:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Being nagged constantly,</li><li>Feeling overwhelmed,</li><li>Experiencing sensory overload from the constant noise and requests,</li><li>my children saying unkind words to me,</li><li>Feeling guilty</li><li>not having any me-time.</li></ul></div><p></p><div><ul style="text-align: left;"></ul><div>I matter too. </div><div><br /></div><div>Let me tell you a bit about my parenting over the years, I've been doing it for over 10 years now so I feel I have a bit of experience. </div></div><p></p><div>When I had my first I was very idealistic. I read books like Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn, How to talk so kids will listen, how to listen so kids will talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, No bad kids by Janet Lansbury, The Gentle Parent by L.R Knost, and books by Sarah Ockwell Smith, and others. So you probably get the idea of where I was hoping to come from with my parenting. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now I am not saying that there books are bad (except Unconditional Parenting) they are all good and have wonderful ideals, but they have become unrealistic for me, they have become a source of guilt and shame. I cannot live up to the way parenting is presented in these books, maybe it would work if you have one or two children and they are in school and you have no housework, but, and I cringe to say it, gentle parenting hasn't worked for me or my children. And we are now in a not-very-pleasant situation where we all shout at each other far too much, we don't speak kindly, I feel resentful, and they appear ungrateful and no one is really happy. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am certain some reading this will think that I was just doing it wrong and maybe there is truth in that but I need to find a way forward that works for me and my children that doesn't leave me feeling guilty, like a failure and like I have ruined my children's lives. </div><div><br /></div><div>But February is about being Joyful so I'm not going to spend any more time on self deprecation, adding more guilt to the load I already carry isn't going to help me. I need a way forward that is going to be positive for me and my children. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, what does joyful parenting look like for me and my children?</div><div><br /></div><div>Praising my kids - I didn't believe it when Alfie Kohn said don't praise you kids, it never felt right and I don't believe it now either. I weep at the number of times I held back a cry of joyful praise at something wonderful one of my children had done, and instead joylessly described their drawing, observed their behaviour back to them, asked them a question about how they felt. </div><div>How my heart sings now to cry "good boy" to one of my children. Who doesn't want to be called good? In Genesis we read God creating humanity and declaring it was "very good". If God can call us good they I sure as heck can tell my boys that they are good, even very good! Yes praising my children is joyful and I'll be doing as much of this as I can this year. </div><div><br /></div><div>Holding back the yells - I've nearly finished reading a book called Yell Less Love More by Sheila McCraith, and although the release of a yell in the moment might feel like a release of stress and give momentary relief, it certainly isn't joyful, so I'm going to try harder to hold back the yells using the techniques she gives (which by the way aren't fixated on examining your triggers, which I find, quite frankly like gaslighting parents. Kids are annoying sometimes, lets just say that! they're annoying just because they are annoying!! Not necessarily because of some awful thing that happened in my childhood! I hereby give you permission to feel annoyed by your children without having to masticate endlessly over why.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Get off my phone - Distracting myself from my children isn't joyful, having them see me on my phone a lot also isn't joyful, not being present and missing things isn't joyful. I need to create some SMART targets for myself to get off my phone (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Timely) so this is something else I am going to work on. </div><div><br /></div><div>I also feel like joyful parenting looks like having a good time when I am with my children. That they like me, trust me and respect me enough to know that what I am asking them to do is the right thing. I think it feels like boundaries being put in place that mean they understand that nagging is not going to work, and that kind words help you get what you want and make you and others feel good. I think it looks like getting time to myself to replenish. It looks like laughing together, having fun together, having my children help me round the house. Not having to yell all the time, working cooperatively. I could go on, and perhaps now I am getting into fantasy land, but I think it is right to aim high, to visualise how I want it to be to "manifest" the life I would like. </div><div><br /></div><div>That's all I've got so far and I'm going to use February to read more books and and work out what else makes parenting joyful and hopefully I'll be able to get back to you with an update on how this is going as the year goes on, but I've got all year to work on this so there's plenty of time to figure it out. The most important thing I am going to need on this journey is prayer, because I can't do this on my own, but "I can do all things through He who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13. </div><div><br /></div><div>If you'd like to join me on my joyful journey please subscribe to my blog and you'll get all my posts direct to your inbox. </div><div><br /></div><p></p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-29134906080728977472022-12-30T11:17:00.000-08:002022-12-30T11:17:04.846-08:00Word of the year for 2023<div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjPzkGP0jrzsiGUCbwO32bkyP-RNTcASXdG_OatEd1JYdH9a8jzqHoTHxdRl7uya1yjwm-r7Ins9p_9p0mpN4P7fpOhSuzB7Xh-pPTmOjJK40wk6bGfZbIxpZloLc60H_CUevlCHK2rRIiVxj5ZbSr-FYdX3k0UstX-JblTTpv-wK0VBwA25q54fDbVNg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="961" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjPzkGP0jrzsiGUCbwO32bkyP-RNTcASXdG_OatEd1JYdH9a8jzqHoTHxdRl7uya1yjwm-r7Ins9p_9p0mpN4P7fpOhSuzB7Xh-pPTmOjJK40wk6bGfZbIxpZloLc60H_CUevlCHK2rRIiVxj5ZbSr-FYdX3k0UstX-JblTTpv-wK0VBwA25q54fDbVNg=w320-h313" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><div><br /></div>Well hello there, long time no see! <div><br /></div><div>2022 has, in one word been nuts. Utterly mad, chaotic and crazy. I had a baby and that's pretty much all you need to know. </div><div>My word for 2022 was grace. I was to give myself grace on parenting, art, creativity, home ed, my home, and I did. Giving myself grace was supposed to mean forgiving myself when I couldn't achieve everything that I wanted to, grace was supposed to mean forgiving myself when I did not achieve perfection, and it was supposed to mean resting in the moment rather than frantically trying to do everything. Grace did all these things for me, whenever I started feeling like I wasn't doing enough, wasn't good enough I reminded myself that this year I would give myself grace. 2021 was a stinker, bad pregnancy, covid, my husband nearly dying, and numerous hospital visits, slow progress on our house and umpteen other unfortunately events meant I was all out of energy and motivation. Grace was what a needed for 2022. </div><div>And I did indeed give myself grace, I gave myself grace in abundance, I totally and utterly clocked off from trying, the grace I was giving myself started mean that I became a bit lazy, I started to give myself excuses for doing the things that I should have been, could have been and wanted to be doing. For much of the year grace ended up meaning not trying too hard at anything. And in the end this was not the goal. </div><div>Although I did feel a degree of peace in not putting a lot of pressure on myself to achieve, I have ended up looking back and feeling like the year still very stressful and chaotic and I've ended up feeling a little bit disappointed with myself, and and that's not a nice feeling.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEit4lA0oq_MMm5Kf3FYmJTSY1Rgm2fAMx2DeGT9wQ52y5FTFq9P6HkIi_bejKIeSyLBteIYrSuzV19ayG_qd77jVU0B3c7WZ2P-EdECs7t6VpW8VB19UHsCw0qhXPnJ5iPWnscQyjo6zHFe8ebCzIv_wdqXbDRhZtOXmJkXKoJMAYEmUCkrn71WHc_PCg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="823" data-original-width="993" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEit4lA0oq_MMm5Kf3FYmJTSY1Rgm2fAMx2DeGT9wQ52y5FTFq9P6HkIi_bejKIeSyLBteIYrSuzV19ayG_qd77jVU0B3c7WZ2P-EdECs7t6VpW8VB19UHsCw0qhXPnJ5iPWnscQyjo6zHFe8ebCzIv_wdqXbDRhZtOXmJkXKoJMAYEmUCkrn71WHc_PCg=w320-h265" width="320" /></a></div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>It was back in November that I realised the word I needed for 2023. It had been in my mind since my baby was born at the end of December 2021. Joyful. He was born at home about 20 minutes before the paramedics and midwives arrived, just me and my husband and it was perfect. When he was born I felt the most exquisite joy wash over me and I began to laugh! His name means joyful. </div><div>Unfortunately thinks went bad after that, and joy wasn't something I could access for quite a while. </div><div><br /></div><div>But I am so ready for joyful in 2023, and I'm excited to find out how I can make all aspects of my life joyful. I'm going to explore joyful eating, joyful dressing, joyful home school, joyful marriage and joyful parenting to name just a few. </div><div>As I prepare for the year ahead I have been turning to the Bible to inform how joyfulness can influence my year and there are two things that strike me most. First, joy comes from Christ and second joy in not dependant on circumstances. I will talk more about this in the year, but those two factors are going to be infused into every aspect of my word of the year and I'm really excited to experience the year unfolding with joy at the heart. </div><div><br /></div><div>Do you have a word of the year? I'd love to hear what it is a why. </div>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-8023441032599852002022-07-03T09:08:00.001-07:002022-07-03T09:08:05.342-07:00So What Do You Actually Do All Day?<p>Home education has been on the public radar quite a lot over
the past two years with parents across the country being plunged head first into
trying to educate their children from home back in March 2020. Many parents found this experience
excruciating and couldn’t wait for schools to re-open, still others loved in
and decided to embark on home educating their children full time. I had a really hard time during lock down in
spite of regularly being told that nothing much must have changed for me. Clearly there was a pre-conceived idea that
home education took place entirely in the home in isolation from the wider world. This could not be further from the truth and
I struggled so much not being able to attend our groups, see friend and visit
museums, libraries and other educational places. These were a huge part of my educational
provision, just being home all day everyday was not part of the plan!</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgYsoRpyn-ti1-uHV2D2YgQdCsCXqn2_6ZTQB7J9VJK678XqkzQaNeUs0DWlMy-gC_Pw4J-5mXooufbzb2hkjoXgjnYkiCvV9ezCg8EyNy8rlr2r-6IZ27xVWZe6XkXk9Ke0Smkwxbi_Li55JZQnwS71hNZbNJJsABS5Wh-vPCNldlBNdni1AaSg4_BKQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="425" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgYsoRpyn-ti1-uHV2D2YgQdCsCXqn2_6ZTQB7J9VJK678XqkzQaNeUs0DWlMy-gC_Pw4J-5mXooufbzb2hkjoXgjnYkiCvV9ezCg8EyNy8rlr2r-6IZ27xVWZe6XkXk9Ke0Smkwxbi_Li55JZQnwS71hNZbNJJsABS5Wh-vPCNldlBNdni1AaSg4_BKQ=w288-h640" width="288" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Two years on and many families have decided to continue home
educating their children; as a result, numbers have risen and the government
are starting to get concerned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They don’t
really want children being home educated because that means one parent not
working (at least not full time) and therefore contributing less tax revenue than
that of a full time working parent. I think the government would also prefer every
British citizen to have the same educational experience as each other (except
for the rich ones of course), it doesn’t really want too many free thinkers
walking about. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, in a small part as a
result of the rise in numbers of home educating families over the last two
years, the government have pressed on with their plan to introduce a home education
register, along with their “schools bill” which all parents should be concerned
about, home educating or otherwise. There is a lot of information on the
internet about it, so I won’t harp on here, but needless to say the government’s
claims that they will “level up standards” and be providing educational “excellence”
are pretty laughable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhfq_fj9A1YwOjAMXsz16jp68e416H57YGaK6Pk67tcwqXUzi_RMw1jZ_b2q6IcchWDpvlG92CysJHD5Hrj5TdvMfgMQ5jmycjEv9Wh79RQMYw0qIkBwU0uvHVlno8UmPir-UKvDIVtCDkKLUVgwoLxrQj2iK4x0xjjbrcLUwP3p4G15Fc3u7ZBtP_U3A" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhfq_fj9A1YwOjAMXsz16jp68e416H57YGaK6Pk67tcwqXUzi_RMw1jZ_b2q6IcchWDpvlG92CysJHD5Hrj5TdvMfgMQ5jmycjEv9Wh79RQMYw0qIkBwU0uvHVlno8UmPir-UKvDIVtCDkKLUVgwoLxrQj2iK4x0xjjbrcLUwP3p4G15Fc3u7ZBtP_U3A=w312-h640" width="312" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The Government claim that there are children “under the
radar”; parents who are keeping their children locked up at home, neglected, with
no socialisation and likely abuse under the guise of “home education, or else
are indoctrinating children with illegal schools.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Government claim that a register will
make sure that no children are missed (won’t those parents abusing their
children just not sign the register seeing as they are already doing something
illegal?!) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in spite of the fact that
every single child who was abused under the guise of home education were already
know to local authorities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems to me a lot of parents, even those in
the home ed community think the Governments plan is a good idea, “if it saves
just one child from abuse it’s worth it” they say “nothing to hide, nothing to
fear” they say. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the reality is that sadly
it won’t save any children from abuse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>More children are abused in school than in home education.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s never really about the children.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiU4SQqfQ38co5SHAIgQmNTUSceBRB_b2Af__cWyXc03_ib0tOhXDs49msnmzqIB1okbqdWdDvKVw0ZL7lhbx9js-yYDKafRdZCKknHOg5kcZlQEbmK11oQz3x55SnrbtpBHnDAlofRKGdPAdDaQhe9nLLrENRhOkrDCe5O6P8NorjiCAgbVatF9TeetA" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiU4SQqfQ38co5SHAIgQmNTUSceBRB_b2Af__cWyXc03_ib0tOhXDs49msnmzqIB1okbqdWdDvKVw0ZL7lhbx9js-yYDKafRdZCKknHOg5kcZlQEbmK11oQz3x55SnrbtpBHnDAlofRKGdPAdDaQhe9nLLrENRhOkrDCe5O6P8NorjiCAgbVatF9TeetA=w312-h640" width="312" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe because of lockdown and how parents were forced into
home learning in isolation, there are a lot of misconceptions about home education,
and the image of all children sat at the kitchen table receiving drills in
maths an English, churning out a generation of, at best, maladjusted weirdos,
and at worst illiterate criminals, continues to permeate the minds of the general
public. This perception was further ingrained after the lockdown as parents
assumed what they were doing at home with their schooled children was the same as
what we were doing with our home educated children (all at home, not going out,
not seeing anyone).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that, as I have
said, couldn’t be further from the truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgPIyOK51Zekc3QsOrrOhwEBufdj0e40ZRAP8RYoFdCufApNrNb1CV7Z6jMBlQOLhDTVz3soNu1SzUluMnWHLlW-42ESwgaUe1AOKiYFYHVkZwiSw7K7FQAlPo4ZPl7cy8Ja1hf8WDz8xhXxssEuptwD1CaJSp2o7UmOhCY_xMpFWMrWBlx_PJi-ztsZw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgPIyOK51Zekc3QsOrrOhwEBufdj0e40ZRAP8RYoFdCufApNrNb1CV7Z6jMBlQOLhDTVz3soNu1SzUluMnWHLlW-42ESwgaUe1AOKiYFYHVkZwiSw7K7FQAlPo4ZPl7cy8Ja1hf8WDz8xhXxssEuptwD1CaJSp2o7UmOhCY_xMpFWMrWBlx_PJi-ztsZw=w312-h640" width="312" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">One question I get asked a lot is “so what do you actually
do?”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I thought I would take this
opportunity to dispel some myths and to give an insight into our daily
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is in part inspired by a
friend of mine who did the same recently on Facebook (so thanks for that
Amy).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll tell you what the average
week looks like, but I will also tell you about some of the interactions and spontaneous
learning opportunities that take place that simply cannot be substantiated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgumeq7c7kh76icwyBMMrY1LnKjJhI8LMJ43IlROdqwqrOJKgMp908Kx0ED6Z9zW0Hv8hJO5cCIgDMWjAwTs6zPAFgoqUAnDbY_ItR65bkgv8xO4zuYirgHfzLECB1FgehMgbjCWXsSWYW8oJC0XGK40w9EgVP8g2GgeljC6mcniYPucWC7y0DliWtNSg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgumeq7c7kh76icwyBMMrY1LnKjJhI8LMJ43IlROdqwqrOJKgMp908Kx0ED6Z9zW0Hv8hJO5cCIgDMWjAwTs6zPAFgoqUAnDbY_ItR65bkgv8xO4zuYirgHfzLECB1FgehMgbjCWXsSWYW8oJC0XGK40w9EgVP8g2GgeljC6mcniYPucWC7y0DliWtNSg=w312-h640" width="312" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I dislike the use of the word routine and lean more towards rhythm
in describing our days,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>routine feels
strict and unbending, but our rhythms change and move and flow with the seasons,
the moods and the weather.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So please see
this as less of a timetable of events and more of a flow of predictable rituals,
traditions and habits interspersed with spontaneous learning opportunities,
space for exploration, play and time with friends. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjm17i7symKmVM8HKt6Fs_Zz03LRkr0aozcNDZuG_VhxPhAekZD5Z5zCpJEmeu0ZN-6KH6KYHOnoEpddib6S8R4y2wj8gevG5Lt-sxVMLKMzjGRcx7OcH_pS4SdEYyAK9UPklAveQqR5YeyE3xK4lfDUbegHaU7VagTlVT1NKwwc6DU7OaKvs4pRjd2qg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjm17i7symKmVM8HKt6Fs_Zz03LRkr0aozcNDZuG_VhxPhAekZD5Z5zCpJEmeu0ZN-6KH6KYHOnoEpddib6S8R4y2wj8gevG5Lt-sxVMLKMzjGRcx7OcH_pS4SdEYyAK9UPklAveQqR5YeyE3xK4lfDUbegHaU7VagTlVT1NKwwc6DU7OaKvs4pRjd2qg=w312-h640" width="312" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We begin each day at the dining table with breakfast and a
story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the moment I am reading Bible
stories to the children from a big old Hamlyn Children’s Bible with lots of
colourful illustrations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like this
book as it sounds a bit more like the Bible than some other children’s editions,
so prepares their minds a little bit for the style of writing in the
Bible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I read a few chapters then summarise
what has been read at the end and ask the children to narrate what they
remembered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After this we do a morning
devotional.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the moment this is “Our
24 Family Ways” by Clay Clarkson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
devotional is usually something a bit like a discussion or Bible study around a
certain topic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This devotional is about
character and values.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It begins with
some thought provoking questions, followed by a bible verse, some discussion
questions surrounding the verse and then a prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After this we read some poetry. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Currently we are reading from Collins “Treasury
of Poetry” illustrated by Hilda Boswell. I love Hilda Boswells illustrations
and I also have “A Child’s Garden of Verses” illustrated by her. We discuss the
poems as we go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEje9AQNRU-tGSLcIdEmB2ntizHkW35tthM7A4Vc2HjH46Cnp_Q5aCUctXsSIT-WDzLmcadBnVTVKh4Os93fZ8BSiFwVcoFZPs1_pVDIal4AIPgQNrsj-dYP-nXJIgXDsf_kOnKjGnZF6l-xEVGGVs0_SolQNIMyEl67w8XYSvtfklvAyYoHLvuagfKBaQ" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEje9AQNRU-tGSLcIdEmB2ntizHkW35tthM7A4Vc2HjH46Cnp_Q5aCUctXsSIT-WDzLmcadBnVTVKh4Os93fZ8BSiFwVcoFZPs1_pVDIal4AIPgQNrsj-dYP-nXJIgXDsf_kOnKjGnZF6l-xEVGGVs0_SolQNIMyEl67w8XYSvtfklvAyYoHLvuagfKBaQ=w312-h640" width="312" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Once the boys are dressed and teeth brushed and chores done
(I will do another blog post about chores soon)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>we usually sit down to do some Maths and English.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For Maths we are following the curriculum “Maths
no Problem”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maths is my weak area so I
feel much more confident using a curriculum which I know will take the boys
through everything they need to know for Maths.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I like Maths no Problem as it uses The Singapore Maths approach, but
also the traditional approach which I learnt at school, so it given children different
ways of working things out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wouldn’t
say this is necessarily the best Maths curriculum out there, but it is good
value for money. For English we use workbooks for reading, spelling, punctuation
and handwriting, the skills they need to decipher and understand texts and to
write their own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But they are free to do
their own writing whenever they want, both hand written and typed on the
computer, story and letter writing happens fairly regularly, on its own in our
house. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On an average day this rhythm takes
most of the morning.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiYSJh77jD70heDBhFejm02DLBD89WPtUL5WhuNUaN7ErcCAj_ndR3ZxbgpM86tvcLr6adTWhzjzjyUZPR_NEBtu0geUYgEZw108RC-DuKm2EkhkOIuFV6fbl_ywIpv3RlvGVP2eT293u-Y2b1gbE6Fuhc_yJdUHlNPcz7n9scggjVlVPjcRjpnLC0XwQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiYSJh77jD70heDBhFejm02DLBD89WPtUL5WhuNUaN7ErcCAj_ndR3ZxbgpM86tvcLr6adTWhzjzjyUZPR_NEBtu0geUYgEZw108RC-DuKm2EkhkOIuFV6fbl_ywIpv3RlvGVP2eT293u-Y2b1gbE6Fuhc_yJdUHlNPcz7n9scggjVlVPjcRjpnLC0XwQ=w312-h640" width="312" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We do a variety of things in the afternoons, at the moment
on Mondays our afternoons are free so we usually do some work on our current
topics. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Often this is listening to a
story which we might do round the table with a cup of tea, sat on the sofa with
biscuits, on a picnic bench in the garden or even on the trampoline! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Currently we are reading about Alexander the Great.
We also do crafts, art, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>baking, or
science experiments in this time, then the boys play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the
evening my two eldest go to Cubs.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEicu0YPBDmBpJPH01c7Ehj3RoyhL_R0kAxDofG7wOHoI77p42cuRIizz1YG4V4JEZJ9_xHQKn6InUP3ZGi576-6lVhAk6QJK73dM3CSzg9llR-aX8efRK6PLLrZOcGzDrzF8_J7mzVbWckOfyZUStbAsKnUIX-v34F_yL3MExi91VkQBxT9texEgn6K2Q" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEicu0YPBDmBpJPH01c7Ehj3RoyhL_R0kAxDofG7wOHoI77p42cuRIizz1YG4V4JEZJ9_xHQKn6InUP3ZGi576-6lVhAk6QJK73dM3CSzg9llR-aX8efRK6PLLrZOcGzDrzF8_J7mzVbWckOfyZUStbAsKnUIX-v34F_yL3MExi91VkQBxT9texEgn6K2Q=w312-h640" width="312" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">On Tuesdays, after our usual morning rhythms, I take my
eldest to drama, one of the home ed mums is putting on a performance of Mary
Poppins 2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While he is there I take my
other three boys to a park and we usually do a nature walk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After I collect my eldest from drama we go
home and do stories, then the boys are free to play outside or with their friends
or our neighbours. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the evening all three
boys do Jujitsu class. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgl6b-iMm_Z2vD8y14OwFbB4nKmVMNchlV-UUGef9okzRUecbRzzQ0-yctPpgqyLOkcFw_qERj6_9_5tLYhVnnzhdy_AzhHofXOj1_hpLQi3jgpBMFI55f9-OpJi1AV6j0HQ8Ax04eW76lQGP1p0pFx6YXNFOmc4gIOPbjO1h0bRPWV5higOqRlNC8LUQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgl6b-iMm_Z2vD8y14OwFbB4nKmVMNchlV-UUGef9okzRUecbRzzQ0-yctPpgqyLOkcFw_qERj6_9_5tLYhVnnzhdy_AzhHofXOj1_hpLQi3jgpBMFI55f9-OpJi1AV6j0HQ8Ax04eW76lQGP1p0pFx6YXNFOmc4gIOPbjO1h0bRPWV5higOqRlNC8LUQ=w312-h640" width="312" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Wednesday afternoons are a meet with a group of our
Christian Home education friends in the afternoon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We usually do some sort of activity or
social.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On Wednesday evening my 6 year
old goes to Beavers. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Thursdays are another free day. The afternoons are often
spent with friends or doing activities at home.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjnig5Sp2Uw2bh3xYZSKkVqiFpG_qJUXl4LonanqlTs31hzJ0VYpqjmeCraLW8s28586vnBDfxinAySaQMYBI5LVo_UmYd8DYsCJP-1WZlyoh19KJd3kxw7HZEVW82Rc-5JoRuVIDR8dSyCSDOYC0NERGe7-JgnwLWDrEVm-J-ABUp6OWuv_Q9B4hXSqw" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="933" data-original-width="1920" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjnig5Sp2Uw2bh3xYZSKkVqiFpG_qJUXl4LonanqlTs31hzJ0VYpqjmeCraLW8s28586vnBDfxinAySaQMYBI5LVo_UmYd8DYsCJP-1WZlyoh19KJd3kxw7HZEVW82Rc-5JoRuVIDR8dSyCSDOYC0NERGe7-JgnwLWDrEVm-J-ABUp6OWuv_Q9B4hXSqw=w640-h312" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Fridays are a social day, we do nature group in the morning,
always with a different topic, usually following the “Exploring Nature with
Children” curriculum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This involves a
walk in nature, be that a meadow, field or pond, a story and sometimes an
activity. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We do this with a group of
friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the afternoon we do park
meet with a big group of home educators from all over the Forest. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Friday evenings are a treat night, so the boys
have a snack and dinner on the sofa whilst watching a film.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg4AAaaSCqG_F8ebIVNG92EFhKAgDa2Cm0bfXjD5AImfQl2AdvnUHiJjkEL4UAKjE2c9lwzDhbBGvHFhkdJdQRaoacwXGjtdw8g4kcW6Pcge0ncNW8PtNhq8U1UdweaycouwJfxYuf6JYmvr8MVQPMEtl984wC8UFGu0JwrUHjPWigwC79RjPqn2KH8eg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="933" data-original-width="1920" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg4AAaaSCqG_F8ebIVNG92EFhKAgDa2Cm0bfXjD5AImfQl2AdvnUHiJjkEL4UAKjE2c9lwzDhbBGvHFhkdJdQRaoacwXGjtdw8g4kcW6Pcge0ncNW8PtNhq8U1UdweaycouwJfxYuf6JYmvr8MVQPMEtl984wC8UFGu0JwrUHjPWigwC79RjPqn2KH8eg=w640-h312" width="640" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This is the general rhythm of our week, but what you don’t see
from this description are the many spontaneous activities that take place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The comic book strip writing, the engineering
structures in the garden, the team work, the podcast one of them wants to make,
the random questions that require an exploration in an encyclopaedia, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the board game playing, the spontaneous piano
lesson, or French lesson on Duo Lingo, the story writing, the YouTube video
inspired by something we read in a book, the lego building, the coding session,
the stop motion animation, the nature walks, the excursions to castles,
museums, libraries and shops,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the list
goes on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All these things happen spontaneously
and without them being timetabled or planned in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Making sure there is plenty of free time
allows for this sort of exploration and genuine learning experiences. <o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj7AcW7h9BWhLO3YlhzdBpwHIzZt13IHqEsdv0BkTuPWl3VY1aLkCTKxf2Ati1u7mu03RS6sWiRfAnfPPUlrTDwO8ySLhxfIIGN-_7zzdeONbTQvENz7qyiRA0XbZxQwDfaL5yR_sgQIqndD03Ad9wxcO0nLqnIjt3buOEpXsKV0_lmshHW0gC0VYnu8w" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="933" data-original-width="1920" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj7AcW7h9BWhLO3YlhzdBpwHIzZt13IHqEsdv0BkTuPWl3VY1aLkCTKxf2Ati1u7mu03RS6sWiRfAnfPPUlrTDwO8ySLhxfIIGN-_7zzdeONbTQvENz7qyiRA0XbZxQwDfaL5yR_sgQIqndD03Ad9wxcO0nLqnIjt3buOEpXsKV0_lmshHW0gC0VYnu8w=w640-h312" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal">We are very flexible with our week, we do not do Maths and
English every day if there is a day out planned, or perhaps, some days things
are just different, maybe we slept in one day because we were late to bed after
staying late with a friend the previous day, or maybe the mood just isn’t right
for table work and we decide to do some baking or painting instead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t like to be too strict with our days. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to present my children with new ideas and
experiences as much as possible to allow their brains to think and grow.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjkOU3ZCk6LXZIq-Lj9tYYkOss6TPjlycaLZQC4ELK9Noun-iM8lb5OAtoACY6x2ceT0XfvjaR0qxW4p6IHqraUdD26Kx64pTyfjBQY14AuGde_2IxVDXkHehtOg-XkLmG7eyvpq9Pf4Oh4cclwa87urFI49mWufqhNm-V27Df2cUG6pXPsCsx-j7GAIg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="944" data-original-width="459" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjkOU3ZCk6LXZIq-Lj9tYYkOss6TPjlycaLZQC4ELK9Noun-iM8lb5OAtoACY6x2ceT0XfvjaR0qxW4p6IHqraUdD26Kx64pTyfjBQY14AuGde_2IxVDXkHehtOg-XkLmG7eyvpq9Pf4Oh4cclwa87urFI49mWufqhNm-V27Df2cUG6pXPsCsx-j7GAIg=w312-h640" width="312" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So that is our life at the moment, it changes and flows throughout
the year as different groups or classes start or end and the seasons roll on,
it’s working well for us and is unique to our family, but might not be right
for another family. Some families will do fewer groups, be home more, others
will have online classes and group lessons and be at home even less. That is
the beauty of home education, it is tailored, personalised and unique to each
family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg7IlWlw3AcxVwJgw08vQfdIAs9hUSkCn7iwAwO3ixEDoIAlYu8_5l60saJEEOZ-VxYuGJGOjct-K7WEISaWGMDGA793-LDEsz_4qdca1dnSOMyyGYzXAvj2cxcUYfCryRFGhVIWn-MsCgTY8CyQ9nJSem50LFSUf1XxuU_VVDVw-qwcsjBKL6HvZtKYg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="933" data-original-width="1920" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg7IlWlw3AcxVwJgw08vQfdIAs9hUSkCn7iwAwO3ixEDoIAlYu8_5l60saJEEOZ-VxYuGJGOjct-K7WEISaWGMDGA793-LDEsz_4qdca1dnSOMyyGYzXAvj2cxcUYfCryRFGhVIWn-MsCgTY8CyQ9nJSem50LFSUf1XxuU_VVDVw-qwcsjBKL6HvZtKYg=w640-h312" width="640" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Most importantly we are doing life together, learning to
love and care for each other, to be responsible, to be kind and make life good
as a family. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We see the good and the bad
together and work through big feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
don’t live a complicate life and I try not to be too busy, I like to be calm
and have as little stress as possible.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj8dQnPZu4lD0Kd7iFEyqlcJlNU4bgbn8atg_kfhzGCHg54IuJKMEHPyilD-l3y2-Yu30uglUangfVPhqg7H2JK9hZUJR4UXxZqVbz1B9mUt_FcMQzdeONQVS_WAprL1bvQsrckOeRfjf9Gv5wRrLOeKY5smS2LSFzD7CX6e3-eCwig31nHO0ACb9BgQA" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj8dQnPZu4lD0Kd7iFEyqlcJlNU4bgbn8atg_kfhzGCHg54IuJKMEHPyilD-l3y2-Yu30uglUangfVPhqg7H2JK9hZUJR4UXxZqVbz1B9mUt_FcMQzdeONQVS_WAprL1bvQsrckOeRfjf9Gv5wRrLOeKY5smS2LSFzD7CX6e3-eCwig31nHO0ACb9BgQA=w312-h640" width="312" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I hope this dispels any myths you may have and satisfies
your curiosities, I hope it gives an understanding of what home ed life might
be like, not to persuade you to make your life like mine but to gain understanding,
because with understanding come acceptance. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjMv1FZbzHEqwT4UgwwSu_z661N8VNnsmpqAYXvVGUDS6qFiL1xzYuvoGtXlv-VqqcoMRRiobHo6uecSza2imhnQUfyBFDh4qLxH9MguVYYXcdxPfhCJnX9A8CJH-hB7GQFzFzdohCHOdOFeZag-99TMAn_GUe7Mpwq7B6sdcKizyK_xXo_oHJO0G2ZNQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="933" data-original-width="1920" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjMv1FZbzHEqwT4UgwwSu_z661N8VNnsmpqAYXvVGUDS6qFiL1xzYuvoGtXlv-VqqcoMRRiobHo6uecSza2imhnQUfyBFDh4qLxH9MguVYYXcdxPfhCJnX9A8CJH-hB7GQFzFzdohCHOdOFeZag-99TMAn_GUe7Mpwq7B6sdcKizyK_xXo_oHJO0G2ZNQ=w640-h312" width="640" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-48966820019650349032022-06-05T10:36:00.002-07:002022-06-05T10:39:21.655-07:00Being a Home Maker<p>A few months ago I had to register the birth of my forth baby. As with each child I was asked what my occupation was. For baby number 1 I chose "teacher" as my occupation, I didn't know at that point that I wouldn't be going back into teaching. I wasn't doing paid work when I registered babies 2 though 4 so had to choose another option. I had forgotten what the official choice was for a woman who was caring for her children full time, so I asked for "Full time mother " to be my recorded occupation. The registrar kindly informed me that that was the term usually reserved for single mothers and that married mothers like myself would normally be recorded as "House Wife". Now I take no issue with the term "House Wife" I don't find it especially offensive and have never considered it to have associations with ownership as some women do, I find it quite a homely term, it is simply that "house wife" doesn't really describe what I do. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiyD1C9RSdW_dKY6g1s5RTF3JO2gCPPRg8wxPgU3vJBkE6RSE4dE9dNm25mQM62mJKhl9i4XIDHFMz2DsOgYBnju_OanMSY2dXxoXqzEsfh23gLHRPHjpRIeNx6QWdcwlPjY8mLtkMQSwlHp3pTL_APNcNJjOrJeNWgNWmqk1UTK5_EH_K9FTNsCnf3Iw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="870" data-original-width="422" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiyD1C9RSdW_dKY6g1s5RTF3JO2gCPPRg8wxPgU3vJBkE6RSE4dE9dNm25mQM62mJKhl9i4XIDHFMz2DsOgYBnju_OanMSY2dXxoXqzEsfh23gLHRPHjpRIeNx6QWdcwlPjY8mLtkMQSwlHp3pTL_APNcNJjOrJeNWgNWmqk1UTK5_EH_K9FTNsCnf3Iw=w309-h640" width="309" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p>I am not normally one for favouring the American version of words, but in this instance I find the term "home maker" much more helpful in describing my occupation, in fact I think it is a beautiful description of what women who do not receive income for their work at home actually do. </p><p>Not only is it a more accurate description of what I do in this phase of my life but it is also far more poetic and intentional. It's not just a practical description as words like carer or housekeeper or cook are, but it embodies and encompasses the overall goal that I am working towards. My purpose, what adds meaning to this phase of my life isn't just the meeting of children's needs, it isn't just the process of education or keeping a house tidy and clean, it is about creating a space within not just a building but a family that has meaning and purpose. </p><p>The bible alludes many times to us one day living in a heavenly home with God, for example:</p><p>"For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands." (2 Corinthians 5:1)</p><p>Also:</p><p>"My Father's house has many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?" (John 14:2)</p><p>And:</p><p>"Yes we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord"(2 Corinthians 5:8) </p><p>The Bible also describes what this home in heaven is going to be like, it says:</p><p>"My people will abide in a peaceful dwelling-places, in secure homes and in undisturbed places of rest." (Isaiah 32:18)</p><p>So it seems to me, seeing that we pray "your kingdom come" in the Lord's prayer we should be trying to make something a bit like heaven in our homes now. To me this seems places of peace, places where we are accepted, places to feel safe and places to rest and recuperate. They should be places that contrast with the world, where we can be unhurried, taste the sweetness of life and not feel pressure to confirm to the worldly ways of appearance, attitudes, materialism and busyness. </p><p>The world lies to us and tells us that a home is about fancy wallpaper, fashionable furniture and accessories, and the latest electronics. It tells us a home is a thing to be bought. Now I have no doubt that heaven will be beautiful and it is therefore not wrong to want to make our homes a beautiful place to be, in fact I think that is a good thing. God has given most of us the desire to create beauty in our lives and this reflects his character. But this is not the only thing that makes a house a home. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEibiqH__ZqHetPlqSocbXnZVazL-hDVhJlcoa5ZGb62GhhiA6zaQlN_ax0zKCXFAy05w-NqxQcY2bR1gEi9qpbpuiUeXPk8fYcfCSt3CvE4DfRx_q8EDwWNm9EIhM3W-fFIvWHrRUmACyE4vd6Kry7O2jef2RT5w_hUjn8RvFuAyjQ8jRI3JWWU6tOirg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="865" data-original-width="1920" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEibiqH__ZqHetPlqSocbXnZVazL-hDVhJlcoa5ZGb62GhhiA6zaQlN_ax0zKCXFAy05w-NqxQcY2bR1gEi9qpbpuiUeXPk8fYcfCSt3CvE4DfRx_q8EDwWNm9EIhM3W-fFIvWHrRUmACyE4vd6Kry7O2jef2RT5w_hUjn8RvFuAyjQ8jRI3JWWU6tOirg=w640-h288" width="640" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p>Sally Clarkson says:</p><p>"Everyday in each inch of space, each rhythm of time, each practice of love, we have the chance to join God in coming home, in living so that we make a home of this broken and beautiful world all over again. Love is enfleshed in the meals we make, the rooms we fill, the space in which we live and breathe and have our being."</p><p>A home is a place where family grows and is nurtured and cared for, it is a place to feel safe and a place to be yourself. It should be a place of light that contrasts with the darkness of the world. it should be a place where we get to enjoy the best things in life; good and nourishing food and drinks, an abundance of good books that inspire, encourage, excite and comfort. There should be comfortable places to sit together and enjoy each others company, there should be music and a pleasant atmosphere. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjRkVrGeCaCf2Djvvh-Atl5-R23aJINivOvPhQoHNZqJnL-WLh141ruh_9auACn7ycE18_LW0iCOyV_bu7jq1ZDHZRm_SVgybhsrbEq0_Ixe7ZTyUMM8jisTjiEmcGfoFUTov0LV-yf5fHMD5UCuwyJq-JL2TUrrBWNL4tcWDl3wb5JLDTPAemUK1TcWw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="870" data-original-width="652" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjRkVrGeCaCf2Djvvh-Atl5-R23aJINivOvPhQoHNZqJnL-WLh141ruh_9auACn7ycE18_LW0iCOyV_bu7jq1ZDHZRm_SVgybhsrbEq0_Ixe7ZTyUMM8jisTjiEmcGfoFUTov0LV-yf5fHMD5UCuwyJq-JL2TUrrBWNL4tcWDl3wb5JLDTPAemUK1TcWw=w300-h400" width="300" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p>To the world my life as a home maker may seem like one of servitude, housework and self sacrifice. Many would say that when I gave up paid work I gave up meaning, I lost myself. But to me, the work I am doing here is more important that any of the paid work I have ever done, because I am shaping life for my family. I am creating joy, comfort and peace for the most important people in my life. </p><p>This is what I am trying to create for my family. Am I achieving this all the time? heck no! I wish I was. But it is what I am working towards and it is my goal, and I hope that as I work towards it, even though I know I will never create a home as good as the heavenly one which is to come, I am at least creating a little glimpse of it in my own little patch on earth.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgvqqANTSpy4_gKxPXbMJY5eumByanWITeRYQrRKp6dQTJmFs_DIAW8Z8RItA7zPKakX63vYkiB2fopmRvF76F5ckUvbnM19S-yV4tdEV43R6uWQsI-kfebRYGVSmIt-eaxlUNvopmNnAcD50T2BdDw9miy1s-LMnYTEw3A81Erqzt-vEf2uW80Strbow" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="870" data-original-width="422" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgvqqANTSpy4_gKxPXbMJY5eumByanWITeRYQrRKp6dQTJmFs_DIAW8Z8RItA7zPKakX63vYkiB2fopmRvF76F5ckUvbnM19S-yV4tdEV43R6uWQsI-kfebRYGVSmIt-eaxlUNvopmNnAcD50T2BdDw9miy1s-LMnYTEw3A81Erqzt-vEf2uW80Strbow=w310-h640" width="310" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p>The fact that I can never make a true heaven on earth of our home encourages us to always have our eyes on God. C.S Lewis says:</p><p>"The settled happiness and security which we all desire. God withholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, pleasure and merriment, He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy. It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and oppose an obstacle to our return to God: a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bathe or a football match, have no such tendency. Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home."</p><p>I hope that in this life I am creating in our home a "pleasant inn" in which to rest on our journey through life. So I am choosing the embrace the name "home maker" in my life and use it to inspire me to create a special place for my family. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiovOb3DQQrgsyscw10DRj9e1L_UGZ3QZ4bAMVFyWrd9Nb89gJBX4UscXrY-q41ZPRWRSNqcTBn-1lkaboD4lt12TyQg93f9nXzRTFV3VbmSNeQzCLrZ3kwmsZEzBFlG_d3VUadPH0FbOjO-8COZ3GgnsvkszmVspO-Hdbnr8ycVoyV6k-GVUKNyrX6Bg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="870" data-original-width="422" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiovOb3DQQrgsyscw10DRj9e1L_UGZ3QZ4bAMVFyWrd9Nb89gJBX4UscXrY-q41ZPRWRSNqcTBn-1lkaboD4lt12TyQg93f9nXzRTFV3VbmSNeQzCLrZ3kwmsZEzBFlG_d3VUadPH0FbOjO-8COZ3GgnsvkszmVspO-Hdbnr8ycVoyV6k-GVUKNyrX6Bg=w309-h640" width="309" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-47537048521911958302022-04-30T08:56:00.002-07:002022-04-30T08:56:19.788-07:00Cloth Nappies and Letting go of Perfection<p>My journey with cloth nappies has been a bit of a bumpy one,
there have been times when I was so puritanical about using them that I decided
we should even use them whilst camping.
I had visions of my lovely cloth nappies swinging from the guide ropes, drying
in the sun. The reality however was rain, nappy leaks in a sleeping bag and a
lot of time and money spent on the camp site laundrette and tumble dryer. Not a fun experience on reflection. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">At other times I have shunned cloth nappies altogether. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example when my first son was born I had
all the good intentions of using cloth and had my lovely sets of new born cloth
nappies ready to go, but the reality was that I was so overwhelmed with
motherhood and trying to look after this wriggly baby that cloth nappies became
just another new, difficult thing that I had to learn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One too many things, so for a while I guiltily
and shamefacedly used disposables.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I once attended a cloth nappy meet in a cool area of the
town I used to live in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The event was
really lovely and I was thrilled to meet other mothers who were like minded, I
felt like I had met my tribe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I couldn’t
help but feel daunted by some of the mothers’ approaches to cloth bumming, one
mum was like a ninja as she wrapped and tied her baby’s bum in her organic wool
cloth nappy like someone folding origami!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I couldn’t live up those standards. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I now seem to have settled into a nice balance of using both
cloth and disposable, who knew it was ok to use both! But it has taken me a
while to let go of the perfection I thought was required and embrace an
acceptance that life is not perfect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Accepting that I don’t need to be perfect with my approaches to motherhood
parenting has given me a little more peace and made life just a little bit more
enjoyable. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjl02_FAY3DyDjevJdY0sS-4KWENjx-iZ1HWL23jsK6LXESeGlLQ8YmqeIJbAbVCZrA8hhaDmY2W6200trdgnWDc47jDwwYdV2SE_WsuDSxZXpcnoKT_y0hEtdyo82WIjExtt-FZAvHMULFFPakTTEe04gQrE6Y4pYwzBikplBfyZcZJ6bs_E5gaXVJzQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjl02_FAY3DyDjevJdY0sS-4KWENjx-iZ1HWL23jsK6LXESeGlLQ8YmqeIJbAbVCZrA8hhaDmY2W6200trdgnWDc47jDwwYdV2SE_WsuDSxZXpcnoKT_y0hEtdyo82WIjExtt-FZAvHMULFFPakTTEe04gQrE6Y4pYwzBikplBfyZcZJ6bs_E5gaXVJzQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="707" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjl02_FAY3DyDjevJdY0sS-4KWENjx-iZ1HWL23jsK6LXESeGlLQ8YmqeIJbAbVCZrA8hhaDmY2W6200trdgnWDc47jDwwYdV2SE_WsuDSxZXpcnoKT_y0hEtdyo82WIjExtt-FZAvHMULFFPakTTEe04gQrE6Y4pYwzBikplBfyZcZJ6bs_E5gaXVJzQ" width="180" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgr2fklQlu47NtnoAajclhv8D-gxI2xNOUaGK4ZKogqO4utOyHqHV6VedqKTO_eL-a1XBBaQPDLHQsSpJq97EjhzatgoveMejFeakdsPvdX1ggXgFsGVvzwNySiKLXZ4hOp10kUTHWckqfHnrHgpk8SnnBUtCKr6vbZ9mxJmA1mJ19j7u2czpqC2Mg9qA" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="707" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgr2fklQlu47NtnoAajclhv8D-gxI2xNOUaGK4ZKogqO4utOyHqHV6VedqKTO_eL-a1XBBaQPDLHQsSpJq97EjhzatgoveMejFeakdsPvdX1ggXgFsGVvzwNySiKLXZ4hOp10kUTHWckqfHnrHgpk8SnnBUtCKr6vbZ9mxJmA1mJ19j7u2czpqC2Mg9qA" width="180" /></a></div> </div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Perhaps you have thought about using cloth nappies saw one
of those ninja mums and decided it was all too overwhelming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or maybe you thought they were too expensive,
messy or time consuming,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>here I will
show you have none of these things is necessarily true and how you can enjoy
using cloth nappies with your baby, without guilt and without loosing your
marbles.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Why use cloth nappies?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There are three great reasons to use cloth nappies, they can
be better for the environment, they can save you money and they can be healthier
for your baby, let me explain:</p> <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg3ni0WXr_ft70hJ0swu3x1MYbj-sjXVrDuRsNB3AqyIc80fKLouZK-L83pc__vSo4Cip5P8PK126gnsISJw4Hii_m9r7TmImWp1X3yCxpHsAXZebhxD2kEc1NyIBcogmQl2SfvUFFHZ3ee6EK-WsJNMjThoLoPviS56w4W9FYJKDRi1YCOmNWYZgCBYA" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg3ni0WXr_ft70hJ0swu3x1MYbj-sjXVrDuRsNB3AqyIc80fKLouZK-L83pc__vSo4Cip5P8PK126gnsISJw4Hii_m9r7TmImWp1X3yCxpHsAXZebhxD2kEc1NyIBcogmQl2SfvUFFHZ3ee6EK-WsJNMjThoLoPviS56w4W9FYJKDRi1YCOmNWYZgCBYA" width="117" /></a><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="425" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiT5OvC8txUFw3u0DKEPAX2RFvg1f07JhO26iskH4g1Gydkb13mxIfdXunMKQJt_i86zFFH2Qq2shxmfLPt4qet-ba95Va0eJ9TfRfQzGukYnDwJm4xA_hAKs-rv2rh2XcjPwkm4g1Gm67RhIa1BrZgYmWTR02TEgTEAtpuHB6PpHoHrqFfwWRX3StEyw" width="108" /></div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have been using cloth nappies on and off for ten years and
some of the nappies I used with my first baby are still going with my
forth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine how many hundreds of
disposable nappies going to landfill that has saved!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not to mention the manufacturing, packaging
and transportation of disposable nappies. Disposable nappies take hundreds of
years to break down, even the more eco friendly versions whereas a single cloth
nappy can be reused hundreds of times. Cloth nappies are up to 40% less harmful
to the environment than disposable nappies and can reduce household waste by a
massive 50%.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is more, when washed
at low temperatures and line dried cloth nappies also create less carbon
emissions, if you acquire them second hand, use them with multiple children or
pass your nappies on after your children are potty trained then you’re reducing
your impact even further. If you add into this using washable wipes then you
are further reducing your environmental impact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Another great reason to use cloth nappies is the financial
saving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You might be surprised you can
save money on cloth nappies if you have seen the price of them new in the
shops,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>why would you buy one cloth nappy
when you can get a pack of 40 disposables for the same price?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well over the last 10 years I have probably
invested no more that £50 on cloth nappies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is because I have reused the ones I first bought to their death, I
have bought them second hand and I have gratefully accepted cloth nappies from
my friends whose children were done with them. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do no more than two extra machine washes per
week to keep on top of the washing and I try to line dry them in the warmer,
dryer months so electricity costs are minimised. I am absolutely certain that
using cloth nappies has saved us a significant amount of money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you need to buy nappies new then you will
find many sources of cheaper cloth nappies than the supermarket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have tried many brands over the years and
have had success with both more pricey and cheaper brands. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t need any special detergent to wash
your nappies (check the brand as some mainstream detergents can’t be used) and
you don’t need to use any special settings on your machine. I just whack them
in on a 60 cotton wash with ecover non-bio and that has served me well over the
years. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Washable cloths can also save you money, you don't have to spend a lot on purpose made wipes, just use cheap flannels. I use a mix of these and some old washable liners, I've also used bits of cut up fleece and towels in the past. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Finally cloth nappies can be better for your baby because
your baby’s skin is in contact with materials that contain fewer toxic
chemicals and many cloth nappies are more breathable than disposable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ultimate nappy might be an organic cotton
or bamboo cloth nappy, but even those with microfiber and polyester fabrics
release fewer toxic chemicals that can harm your baby especially if they are
second hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also by using cloth we are
able to leave a better planet to our children for the future. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It could be easy to look at all that information and feel
bad for using disposable, but it’s important to remember that we all only do as
much as we can do and even just replacing a few disposables here and there with
cloth is a small help. None of us is perfect, we are all just trying to be a
better mum and a better person than the day before, and sometimes we are just
trying to survive. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgW756rHxECVd2WxCmbmpZIsolw0AIWfkmc9hEAq0PYISTCvCKy7t33T3VVMJ8pUIEHtn7iQurSY7FfoZW05KYejcSLsG8lv-jVVN0B4XuFFVFGadduhp8Kgfpk0G6UHbvhk8YQybRuUG_c7RuOifQHoNfdaHSDnUycqRtyEiHuoMEvyZA3PDVbm9tLhw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgW756rHxECVd2WxCmbmpZIsolw0AIWfkmc9hEAq0PYISTCvCKy7t33T3VVMJ8pUIEHtn7iQurSY7FfoZW05KYejcSLsG8lv-jVVN0B4XuFFVFGadduhp8Kgfpk0G6UHbvhk8YQybRuUG_c7RuOifQHoNfdaHSDnUycqRtyEiHuoMEvyZA3PDVbm9tLhw" width="117" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi1NiXz-fu_xUPy7xDfZqrP9cf639tLGtOiOpMrxE_lyxpnKG4Jy_y8ULdoNIUUwzsxOsYHq-3P7RchI0yxzHnSSVPq1JsdM95M_tHlbRH9Z_b7m5wbIdTTvSmXY513yRiBKU8HOia1IIS6H5sS0twn3TgcmcJpKeeZRjpAZL9Tq8dLWaA-0unYu6I5Hg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="425" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi1NiXz-fu_xUPy7xDfZqrP9cf639tLGtOiOpMrxE_lyxpnKG4Jy_y8ULdoNIUUwzsxOsYHq-3P7RchI0yxzHnSSVPq1JsdM95M_tHlbRH9Z_b7m5wbIdTTvSmXY513yRiBKU8HOia1IIS6H5sS0twn3TgcmcJpKeeZRjpAZL9Tq8dLWaA-0unYu6I5Hg" width="108" /></a></div></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Cloth bum with ease:<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If you are thinking that using cloth nappies must take a lot
more time than using disposables, let me tell you that this isn’t necessarily
true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course at the point of use it
does take more time to process a cloth nappy than to just whip a disposable out
of the bag, but when you factor in the cost of disposables and the fact someone
has to work to earn the money to keep buying them week on week then the time
saving value of disposable doesn’t seem so great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All that to say, there is additional time
required to process the cloth nappies, and you might feel like you really can’t
manage on more thing, and that’s ok, but the reality is that the extra time
needed needn’t be exorbitant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I keep the
time spent washing and drying my cloth nappies down with these simple
techniques:<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->I dry store my nappies in a bucket with a tight
fitting lid. This eliminates smell but also means that I can do a full machine
load in one go rather than lots of small washes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do no more than two washes of cloth nappies
per week, I make sure all Velcro tabs are folded down before the nappies go
into the bucket then as I empty them into the machine I unfold or untuck any
pads or stuffers. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Hanging up nappies on the washing line takes no
more than about 10 minutes, so with two loads that’s just 20 minutes per week,
so not a huge amount of additional time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If you use the tumble dryer than this time is reduced even further as
you just transfer the whole lot into the dryer, switch on and walk away. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Finally using cloth wipes rather than
disposables is a great time saver as far fewer wipes are required on a poopy
bum when you use washables.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By this I
mean you usually only need one wipe per poop, and the actual process takes less
time and the fluffy fibres on the cloth and the size means than one or two
wipes over the bum and it’s done. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
can also save time by whacking them in the washing machine with the nappies.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I imagine you expect cloth nappies to be a bit gross to deal
with but over the years I have developed techniques that have made dealing with
the dirties much easier. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->To begin with, when I remember, I carry a bag
around with me to put the poopy nappy into if I am changing it on the go. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I forget and then end up in a
sandwich bag at the bottom of my rucksac for a week! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->As I said above I dry store my nappies in a
bucket with a tight fitting lid which keeps in the smell, when it then comes to
washing the nappy I can just toss them all into the machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people choose to wet store the nappies
in a bucket of water with special detergent but I never liked the idea of
transferring dripping nappies to the washing machine then having to deal with
the poopy soup left behind in the nappy bucket. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Before your baby is six months old it is simple
to just put the nappy, poop and all straight into the machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But once they are weaned and producing proper
poops these need to be removed from the nappy first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people find using a disposable nappy
liner makes this a much easer process but I found I could fairly simply flick
the poop into the toilet from the nappy if it was dry enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Wiping a baby’s bum with a washable wipe is far
less messy than with a disposable, your fingers don’t get poop on them because
the cloth is so much thicker and larger than a disposable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Far more hygienic and quicker.</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjONK9RdKK7pIOzi0CYnC3n0kWzDkGPz2arpm5myQ4iMGR55Mufj9diJrg3PnVhAVUB5XDuuEphRSuBn7Mms96rfWAuYPIhd25YsdWvKWyOH5_OZnfS3bwHEtMHMkYnVtoY6ZEhMaht3Ma5m8H4wyraYmzrnyb70BzshLbeMtFFYB8yVn6-BTYe_5IVgw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="865" data-original-width="1920" height="144" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjONK9RdKK7pIOzi0CYnC3n0kWzDkGPz2arpm5myQ4iMGR55Mufj9diJrg3PnVhAVUB5XDuuEphRSuBn7Mms96rfWAuYPIhd25YsdWvKWyOH5_OZnfS3bwHEtMHMkYnVtoY6ZEhMaht3Ma5m8H4wyraYmzrnyb70BzshLbeMtFFYB8yVn6-BTYe_5IVgw" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So remember if you feel drawn to using cloth nappies, there
is no need to be a perfectionist. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
don’t need to stick religiously to one brand, or use the right boosters with
the right nappy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After ten years of cloth
nappy use I am now happy to use any thing I have lying around to stuff a nappy,
mixing and matching brands and types and I’ve even been known to use old flannels
when I ran out of stuffers! So long as it is absorbent I don’t care what type I
stuff it with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Using cloth nappies doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Even
if you are only reducing your use of disposable nappies but one or two per day,
that is still going to have an impact over the years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I used to be so militant at times, but I have
come to realise that, when it comes to enjoying life, all things in moderation if
a good rule of thumb, and it is ok to not be perfect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I now mostly use disposables at night and cloth
in the day, sometimes I use disposables in the day too like if we are going out
on a day trip and I don’t want to carry the dirty cloth nappy in my rucksac all
day, I don’t feel guilty about it because I know I am doing the best I can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have made peace with not being perfect. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-49601735984969757102022-04-19T07:01:00.001-07:002022-04-19T07:03:46.331-07:00How I got through the hardest year of my life.<p></p><p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Cast your mind back to November
2020, we were still in the midst of a global pandemic, my husband was very
stressed in his job and we were living in an overcrowded house with three
lively little boys. My husband was searching for a new job and we were
trying to find a way to move to a bigger house, little did I know that our
prayers for a new job, house and a desire to move west would be answered.
But God answers prayers in strange ways sometimes. Who knew that with the
gifts of a new job and house would come the hardest year of my life. The Bible
says that hard times are like a refiners fire, like metal after it's been
refined we come out the other side more pure, stronger, and the last year has
certainly been like a fire, it remains to be seen if I have been refined by it
yet!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">The whirlwind began when my
husband accepted a job offer in Gloucestershire and we got our house on the market.
It is a commonly known fact that moving house is one of the most stressful of
life experiences and our experience was no exception.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To begin with15 years’ worth of possessions
belonging to five people in a tiny two bed semi had to be packed, sold, given
away and otherwise hidden to make our house presentable for sale. We must
have done a good job because we sold in the first week it was on the market,
then began a fast furious house hunt. We began making the two hour
journey to the West Midlands for several weekends in a row to visit up 5 five
houses at a time. We saw a total of 16 houses, but house buying is never
easy and even after finding the right place it was a bumpy and extremely rough road
to completion. We finally moved into our new home on 1st April 2021,
three months after my husband started his new job. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="704" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhWMDwqcWD_BJjyuTNDohMd5VCC-ZqPncD5cLLt6wgctbF43xNEUlF-CnxVjJfWd9ndZHeaq7w3WzDbZC2tbpvU7OCQoJ8w3Wx6nbK1I3FmXn5hIV3nf8xK2ovmMHo4f0D4NZX8o0PE6ztMoxQ4JlnZQAibx-1wYKMbXur6xqFhIWev2K7y3uv1cVkGPQ" width="179" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjo3B4KLAjiqacMPRAga-YUYtN-HMZUWAo7aS3zzGgMCCXtIHTAB-E4Wx8j51F01dAGRlcd8Qr1CSk7MvVxMJNr1GNULUc2RC8_bUGp90VhPD8EnCnwdMJKYAQ_Qul6WndxfSaq5YeJ0F79IutXD0aB8j7jI0Lo04lMHOaRbIPoMr2ZACF--a4qyJ9X3g" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjo3B4KLAjiqacMPRAga-YUYtN-HMZUWAo7aS3zzGgMCCXtIHTAB-E4Wx8j51F01dAGRlcd8Qr1CSk7MvVxMJNr1GNULUc2RC8_bUGp90VhPD8EnCnwdMJKYAQ_Qul6WndxfSaq5YeJ0F79IutXD0aB8j7jI0Lo04lMHOaRbIPoMr2ZACF--a4qyJ9X3g" width="117" /></a></span></div></div><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Everything was looking pretty
rosy, we now had four bedrooms, one for us and one each for our children, a big
garden and enough money to refurbish, then to all of our surprise I found out I
was pregnant! After the initial shock I was pleased but then followed 3 months
of appalling sickness, this was hard to manage on top of refurbishing a home
and trying to continue home educating. The pregnancy was by far the hardest I
have experienced, the sickness continued the entire pregnancy and I was beyond uncomfortable
by the end. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Then at the end of May we
thought it would be fun to add a dog to our family. It was not fun.
She is lovely now, but at the time getting a dog felt like the biggest mistake
ever, the hair, the barking, the biting, and pooping and weeing everywhere was immensely
stressful. In June my eldest son fell down the stairs, bumped his head
and got a concussion which resulted in a 999 call and another hospital visit,
he was thankfully, fine, but stress levels were increased yet again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In July my second son was very ill and was hospitalised
with Asthma which was a slow recovery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At
the same time I came down with a bad chest infection which put me out of
service for a large proportion of the summer. All this happened under the
umbrella of covid which as I am sure you can imagine heightened the anxiety around
socialising, our health and the many hospital visits. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="707" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg50g9IXTeKpTQBNm-Vkv35ykn3te3sM94ZTRL1kv042CgqpbfQuluQI6nYW9U8rDVbFB5TNuyelleQRHzW9SWfN1NjS6QT7jMJYOoJts1Nua77rMmKmUC07BWWXb-O359ZoBUCN9i3P4YnloB9K52PjcAo15CGRtPQDWR0sWeSxGBwdnQtTd5HWk-9RA" width="180" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzPYkMHjq39Y6UJ1S8aTbZmBl9mKk4vghwlznVvbxGL2FoNQKI5Te8SNEjfQW6_2DFHUdq2bl2giXvvjqVitZw8vlgPcUylc6n64EK3CBBLysJp8qINUlr21BulsLw7fo7xE6vXQwjDbr-vjUdc81dALPapQ3qtWctTGp3EXySMQH5SlioVXk404MKRA" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzPYkMHjq39Y6UJ1S8aTbZmBl9mKk4vghwlznVvbxGL2FoNQKI5Te8SNEjfQW6_2DFHUdq2bl2giXvvjqVitZw8vlgPcUylc6n64EK3CBBLysJp8qINUlr21BulsLw7fo7xE6vXQwjDbr-vjUdc81dALPapQ3qtWctTGp3EXySMQH5SlioVXk404MKRA" width="117" /></a></span></div></div><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Still on a back foot from the
chest infection our whole family then did go on to catch covid (not the watered
down version, but the nasty Delta version) in September. Both my husband
and I realised quite quickly that we weren't going to be getting an easy ride.
He had to go into hospital and the next day so did I. I had to drop my
children off with a new friend who I didn't know well, and they stayed with her
for 5 days (along with her own 6 children!!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The next day my husband caught sepsis from the covid infection and I
spent one long night not knowing if he would still be alive the next
morning. He came out of hospital on his 40th birthday, but we were still
both too ill to look after the children so they had to stay with my parents for
another week. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Thankfully we didn't die from
covid and in December I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy, of course not
without drama, he was born into the hands of my husband at home before the
midwife or paramedics arrived. Unfortunately there were concerns about
the baby so we had to spend three days in hospital. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">After coming out of hospital I
developed terrible allergies and a wheeze, I was diagnosed with asthma.
Then in March we call caught covid again. My chest was still in recovery and a few
weeks later I ended up being diagnosed with a bad chest infection (but not
before a hospital visit with a suspected blood clot on my lung).<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">At the end of March, I looked
back over the past year since we moved to The Forest of Dean and couldn't
really believe the year we had had, it was certainly not what I had
expected. But we had got through it, I had got through it, it hadn't
broken me. It would be understandable if I had plunged into
depression. In her book "The Wild Remedy" Emma Mitchell
talks about her experience with depression saying:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">"...the shift in GABA
receptor expression and activity [a possible cause of severe depression] is
caused by our environment influencing the way in which our genes are expressed,
which in turn influences our neuronal activity. Which in essence means
that suicidal thoughts might be caused by a series of difficult circumstances or
life events. The GABA-focused research hints at mechanisms that lead to
the most severe cases of depression...)<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Of course there are many causes
of depression, and much more research needs to be done into why some people get
depressed and others don't when placed under severe pressure from their
circumstances. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The reasons why my
circumstances over the last year did not cause depression in me probably go
deeper than the things I am about to share, but perhaps they will give insight
and encouragement for others going through a hard time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not however a guide to preventing or
overcoming depression and if you are feeling depressed I would urge you to seek
medical advice. I have included a few phone numbers at the bottom of this post.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">We will all, throughout our
lives, encounter hard times and I am acutely aware that some peoples hard times
are far more sever than mine, but all things are relative which is why depression
is indiscriminate. My tips here will hopefully offer suggestions for ways to
boost morale, ease stress and encourage positivity when we are faced with the
sort of hard times that we are all likely to encounter throughout our lives, but
they are not quick fixes for mental illness or extreme circumstances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Friends:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">It would have been easy to feel
lonely during all the troubles we experienced over the past year, but not only
did I stay in contact with a couple of friends from our old area whom I met up
with regularly and who cheered me immensely, but I also got in touch with the
local communities in our new area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seeing
other people gives us a reason to laugh, occasions to have fun and share
experiences. Our neighbours, the home education community and the Christian
community have all been really welcoming and friendly and even brought us food
when we were ill and again after having our baby and have looked after our
children when we needed it. Sometimes it can feel hard to insert yourself into
an already established community, but I think more often than not people are
happy to include new faces and it just takes a bit of time and effort to make
new, and perhaps even lifelong friends. I think that being in need of help and
support actually brings out the good in people, it gives people a reason to do
a good deed (which in turn makes them feel good) and although it might feel like
we are being an inconvenience and it can be hard to ask for help sometimes, people
do like to help others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A friend in need
is a friend indeed as they say. Having a community around you helps so much
when you are going through hard times, it’s not just the practical support friends
can offer, but perhaps more importantly a listening ear, having someone who you
can share your troubles with is invaluable as well as giving you a reason to
laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is even more valuable that
having beautiful hearted people around you to help you and listen to you is
being able to offer help and a listening ear to others. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The more time you spend helping others, the
less time you spend on worrying about your own troubles, and somehow your own
troubles seem smaller and smaller. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="530" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjJcX7v-ry3WdIxQB47VbT0JCogo8gXXAVpLIJ4zPKgU9_p64Lna4d__w1x47E_7ueKwm5AOdfSfwEYo_y3KxevUf0x4skwmhQJpEjBQE-vMKG5Shrg2GtoUFlVu2ZTzrz1r8Vx0MQIXMf5PRrLBLEAogVCrn9oFfpyVntZc43jUurc8gtI753RXXglxA" width="135" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh038_anfoFQxAez7V2IRlmL8nijG4sLV0m4RohZQalt2etEPcbXl3E1hhtyizYX6l-tNB0ee7tTrtHAU89mJV44Vwn9m1E4s2CLVTbCBRkCIyTyDda8HrwBuT-vnVSXBA8Kf8M8MOphGt_Smri1cfe2cc6QEPs88jLBaN1olT7OkpHFzXTC_95_8LZtw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh038_anfoFQxAez7V2IRlmL8nijG4sLV0m4RohZQalt2etEPcbXl3E1hhtyizYX6l-tNB0ee7tTrtHAU89mJV44Vwn9m1E4s2CLVTbCBRkCIyTyDda8HrwBuT-vnVSXBA8Kf8M8MOphGt_Smri1cfe2cc6QEPs88jLBaN1olT7OkpHFzXTC_95_8LZtw" width="117" /></a></span></div></div><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Routines:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">One of the things that kept me
going through covid, when I could have spent every day of those five days that
I was home all alone, my husband in hospital and my children staying with a
friend, feeling sad, was getting up every day, dry brushing my skin and getting
dressed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did this without fail every
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would have been very easy to just
stay in bed every day and feel sorry for myself (and completely understandable),
but I made the decision to get up and complete these simple routines and I
found they kept me going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other little
jobs like letting the dog out and feeding her, and taking my medication also
helped provide consistency and predictability to my day at a time in my life
when things felt very chaotic. Little jobs that needed doing each day, the regularity,
the rhythm, helped me to feel calm and added an element of normalcy to each day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Creating a rhythm of activities to keep you
occupied and keep your mind busy helps immensely when going through hard times,
the soothing folding of freshly washed laundry, the satisfaction of a swept
floor, a regular phone call with a family member, time set aside to read or
watch a TV show are all things you can do to preserve your mental health
through challenges. They helped me get through the hardest time of my life and
they might just help you too.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Self care:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Much can be said about the benefits
of self care, we all know it’s important to keep your own cup filled so that we
can pour from it to help others, but when we are going through a hard time it
can feel insurmountable to do anything kind to ourselves, and yet it remains
essential.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we can create small spaces
of time, little actions to care for ourselves we will be able to face
challenges a little more easily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
hard times are when we need a full cup more than ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here are a few things I have done to look
after myself in the last year:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although
I have often belaughed the humble bath I am realising the benefits of half an
hour to soak in the tub, it’s time to yourself and healing for your body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I always feel better after a bath, although
I get them so rarely. Going to the doctors when there are small problems may seem
frivolous but it’s really important to get small things looked at, they can
prevent further problems developing and have a psychological effect of telling
your body you care about it (not to mention the few minutes peace you get in
the waiting room before an appointment!). After giving birth I found I really
needed to wear very soft and comfortable clothes, I couldn’t bear a bra or
jeans, I needed soft things against my body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I also stopped removing body hair as inflicting pain on my body was something
I couldn’t perceive at that time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
needed to give my body time to heal and be kind and gentle with it, give it
soft things and avoid causing harm. Being kind to my body in this way helped me
to heal, maybe this will help you if you have had medical challenges. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiN2jaX3MYu6h92WH3zRLGSIi7HZe3ecN4DrU7HK1SEw7lrurYUc7U6Nx5hTcyWiBKvEo5FR6C766IDsQirU0p641SQnn2knQm1jpTCCZhWQYCzPPK4IKphrLxw6nkiFFQdn1DiWUVRAWsOV421QH-TamtW__ip6xJXGVTxFD-c6EwuA2DWXp-WrgX9og" width="117" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhjaxEhJG_1eR0Z2NnqGDvJajy5P_-CJb5JXAOtoFt8SyZBLZAI9YTbaXGlnvlBTIVU7q1ATqDHgZvEtu7OnNY2Mj8rjGA0QO67dswD8oYEMVFhH77ML_d_VTcmza5une4Ar-2YrR3y_fzGT627MnoQawaauQaQwwuHiXvHWQKYbsWIPeZOTer0Skergg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhjaxEhJG_1eR0Z2NnqGDvJajy5P_-CJb5JXAOtoFt8SyZBLZAI9YTbaXGlnvlBTIVU7q1ATqDHgZvEtu7OnNY2Mj8rjGA0QO67dswD8oYEMVFhH77ML_d_VTcmza5une4Ar-2YrR3y_fzGT627MnoQawaauQaQwwuHiXvHWQKYbsWIPeZOTer0Skergg" width="117" /></a></span></div></div><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Getting into nature:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Being in nature can have a wonderfully
healing effect on our minds bodies and souls. I believe one of the reasons I didn’t
drown over this past year was because I had regular exposure to the natural
world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This of course was made much
easier by virtue of the fact we had moved to The Forest of Dean where we are surrounded
by an abundance of beautiful flora and fauna. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But getting out into nature doesn’t
necessarily mean you have to travel for miles to be out in the
countryside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A walk around a local park,
a sit under a tree, a dig in a small patch of earth to plant a seed can all
help improve our mental health and get us through difficult times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The beauty of the natural world calms our
minds, it allows for space in our spirits to reflect, in contrast to the busyness
of modern life with all its distracting technology.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In hard times take a moment to meditate on
the beauty of a bunch of flowers, sniff some soil or find a place to watch the
clouds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will notice a positive
effect on your mind and wellbeing. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg_ZFKTWhoD6lvUjt3a78RJAZ5ptYoKFPZOtBF6yPN07OP-9-a6DvkOlkWveu__86pkuCrfFG8tPsAQ3zZCj7e49021RoXYTOkhlgHXMTVswGZ3SnHcyZn8Xn5lAjQQsuIUWviloybACodZ4MfgX9XBW2Kq9778j3FOlWJikV3EffK7XTKBlxIiI2R2PA" width="117" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgbkIGU9vWHOg1jDOMXeco40uRw7bhbIFT9B_hoS_lJDUF3oa9ozmc3v8Lrssd4vBrlDTobzX59BH5SBLfxzUms1v5cwyW5zuTLVHJXVz6vX7bOykYSV7Jto9Ikp_Su0KIOTyW1bqOVZ0U6BBtOzLkFFsG4DT0DsSDwNxG0RQfVhhubC1fkEdejAOo-YQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="458" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgbkIGU9vWHOg1jDOMXeco40uRw7bhbIFT9B_hoS_lJDUF3oa9ozmc3v8Lrssd4vBrlDTobzX59BH5SBLfxzUms1v5cwyW5zuTLVHJXVz6vX7bOykYSV7Jto9Ikp_Su0KIOTyW1bqOVZ0U6BBtOzLkFFsG4DT0DsSDwNxG0RQfVhhubC1fkEdejAOo-YQ" width="117" /></a></span></div></div><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Prayer:<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Finally, as many of you know I am
a Christian, so I talk frequently on God in times of trouble.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We want to desperately to be in control of everything
in our earthly lives, if we feel in control we can feel some sense of power
over our destiny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I have come to
learn that so much is out of our control and attempts to control those things
that are out of our power are futile and end up causing a lot of stress, worry
and anxiety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I place my troubles in the
hands of God knowing he sees the intimate details of my life, hears my worries
and cares about me and my experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
might not always get the outcome we hope for but we can always trust that God
has our best interest at heart. Of course there is always an element of fear in
knowing that God’s way might not always be my way, but praying in the hard
times has given me so much peace over circumstances out of my control. When you
are facing troubling times in your life I would encourage you to reach out to
the higher power and hand over your troubles to him.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: times; font-size: 13.5pt;">This life on earth is fraught
with vulnerabilities, dangers and challenges that we will all need to face and
have to overcome at times, I hope that all of the above will give you a little
store of ideas to relieve some of life’s stresses and make hard times more manageable.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We cannot avoid hard times but we can
find ways to get through them with a little more peace a little less harm and
with a bit of luck we will come out the other side wiser and stronger to face
the next challenge to come. <o:p></o:p></span></p><span style="font-family: times;">Samaritans: 116123,</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">National suicide prevention helpline UK: 0800 689 5652,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">SANEline: 0300 304 7000,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">MIND: 0300 123 3393</span></p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-90977973684541689022022-03-08T10:00:00.004-08:002022-03-08T10:09:34.302-08:00Yes Adele, I also love being a woman!<p> A little while ago singer Adele announced to music fans across the world, when receiving her award for best artist, that she loved being a woman and a female artist. I loved so much that she said this and it was poignant because the BRIT awards recently decided to make their awards gender neutral, I could talk about why this is problematic, for example because female artists have been under represented in music for decades and to have male and female categories ensures women get the recognition they deserve, but that is not the main point of this post. What I really want to say is YES! I also love being a woman, thanks so much for saying that Adele! You made it ok to love being a woman. </p><p>Why would it be hard to love being a woman? Well it must be very difficult for girls and even grown women today to be glad they were born female. The #METOO movement revealed some bleak statistics about life as a woman in the UK including that one in five women in the UK have experienced rape or sexual assault (compared to one in twenty men) and one in four women will experience domestic abuse. It must be frightening and daunting for young women knowing these statistics and difficult to see the positives of life as a woman. </p><p>What is more, things seem to be getting worse, we live in such porn drenched and sexualised culture that boy's expectations of girls and girl's expectations of themselves are very distorted and harmful. One only needs to look at sexual assault statistics in schools to know that there is something seriously wrong with what our culture is teaching boys; One third of 16-18 year old girls say that they have experienced unwanted sexual attention in schools and on average one girl a day is raped in school (<a href="https://www.endviolenceagainstwomen.org.uk/campaign/metoo-at-school/">source</a>). </p><p>When girls see the freedom of their male peers at school and socially; less pressure on them aesthetically, clothes than enable them to move around more freely and in comfort, freedom to adopt subjects and careers from virtually any discipline and succeed in them, little reason to feel fearful when going outside at night etc, they must be envious, and even resentful of their own sex which puts so much pressure on them to look and behave a certain way. </p><p>The biology that girls are born with must also sometimes feel like a massive burden that they do not share with the male of the species, and perhaps don't feel like they even want; the changes in puberty that mean we become sexualised and objectified, the mess and pain of periods, the discomfort and dangers of pregnancy, the pain and permanent changes to our bodies in childbirth and finally menopause (which I can't comment much on having not entered that phase of my life yet but frequently hear talk of it's unpleasantness). From the apparent chains of our biology we watch on the side-lines as men breeze through life with none of the emotional chaos or physical bridges that we have to cross, achieving their physical and career goals, enjoying more free time and evading the emotional and physical labour that women take on simply because we are women (<a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/articles/menenjoyfivehoursmoreleisuretimeperweekthanwomen/2018-01-09" target="_blank">source</a>). </p><p>It is easy to understand why many girls and women feel there is much to complain about as life as females. And I can see why they feel this way, but I really want to shout it into the microphone across our TV screens just like Adele that in spite of it all I LOVE being a woman. Of course I don't necessarily LIKE everything about womanhood. I don't relish the worry of a leaky moon cup or the awful indigestion in pregnancy or the burst stitches I had to endure after giving birth (and that's to name but a few) but all things considered I love it!</p><p>Maybe I am just lucky to have had many strong female role models in my life, especially my mum who made womanhood and motherhood look pretty good, maybe its luck that I was excited to be entering puberty and become a woman and that I longed to start my periods (I was a late starter at 16), that these things were a sign I was maturing and entering a new and exciting phase of life. I am also thankful for the good fortune of never feeling like I was anything less for being a girl, and never thinking there was anything I couldn't do because I was female. </p><p>I am certainly thankful that I had the protective upbringing I did, I was never sexually assaulted by a boy at school and I have never been raped. I never felt that being female put me at any disadvantage in my career choices, and always felt that I could do anything that I wanted to do if I worked hard enough and put my mind to it (regardless of whether this is true or not). I am incredibly grateful for this and acknowledge that these facts likely play a part in my love of womanhood and that not all women have had this fortune. </p><p>So what is so great about being a woman? Well I love that my body has its own rhythm and flow that ebbs and changes over the weeks, that my emotions and feeling are changeable and sensitive to the hormones in my body. I love that women's bodies change through the seasons of their lives, they aren't fixed objects that just get old but we develop and blossom into different eras of life each of which faces us with a relearning of our bodies and minds. </p><p>I love that my female body is capable of creating and sustaining life. Some women feel like being the only sex to be able to fall pregnant and give birth is a huge burden, but I see it as a blessing and a gift. The fact women and women alone are given the godly gift of being able to produce life is amazing. That we have breasts to nourish our babies for the first few years of their lives is astonishing, that are babies have that dependence on us is magical. In a society that does not value mothers or indeed children, where the loss of the village leaves mothers feeling lonely, it is no wonder that the gift of motherhood is overlooked as such, but when I put aside this unfortunate development in humankind I can see the true wonder of this gift and not only do I cherish it but I am thankful for it, I love it.</p><p>I have often seen women on the TV ancestry show "Who do You Think You are" say that they are proud of coming from a long line of strong women. But we have all come from a long line of strong women, because women have had to be strong, we wouldn't be here without them and I love this about us. Women have endured hardships and raised families, shaped homes and picked up the pieces and started all over again. We are all strong women. </p><p>I love that women are beautiful and creative, spiritual and thoughtful, sensitive and strong, I love being around women and although many reading this might not relate to the image of women that I portray, might find discomfort in the values I attribute to us, I am not here to argue that women are no less for not giving birth or being mothers or breastfeeding or that not all women are such-and-such, of course these things are true, but for me the image of a woman as a mother and home maker, a comforter and gentle listener is true to the experience of my own life and the lives of many of my female friends and relatives. </p><p>So thank you Adele for declaring that you love being a woman, I love being a woman too and I wouldn't want it any other way. </p><p>Happy International Woman's Day everyone. </p><p>If you liked this piece and would like to read more of my work check out my Patreon: <a href="http://www.patreon.com/imperfectlynaturalmama.com">www.patreon.com/imperfectlynaturalmama.com</a></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-22776884213701307802021-02-28T07:52:00.002-08:002021-02-28T07:52:57.926-08:00On Being Intentional<p>This post contain affiliate links.</p><p>Every year at around the end of December/beginning of January, I spend some time reflecting on the year that has passed, I think about ways I have succeeded, ways I have been disappointed and things I am grateful for. This process helps me to develop a mental picture of how I would like the year ahead to evolve. As I journal and reflect I allow space in my mind for a word to emerge that might carry me through the year ahead. I think about the ways I want to grow, how I want to be, how I want my family to be, what adventures we might embark on, how I want to grow spiritually and many other things. I have used many inspiring and provocative words over the years including Whole-hearted, Cultivate, Thrive and Organise. These words, and more like them have helped me to be much more <b>intentional </b>about the year ahead. </p><p>As 2021 approached and I looked back on the madness that was 2020, I reflected on how the year seemed to fly by, how little there was to remember, how few memory making moments there had been, it seemed like an unnecessarily wasted year. I also thought about my diet and how little consideration I had taken for how I had nourished my body that year. I thought about how I had parented, how I had home educated and felt a distinct lack of purpose. It felt like I had tumbled through the year in a mindless struggle for the end of it, the end of lockdown, the end of...something, some point in the future when I could start again. As I ventured into another lockdown in 2021 I knew things had to change, I didn't want another year of frustration and loss of time, love, care. I couldn't blame the situation entirely on the Covid pandemic. I had to take at least some responsibility for how the shape of the year had formed, I had allowed it to overwhelm me, this year I was going to action, knowing that I and only I could change the outcome of the year ahead lockdown or no. </p><p>So I began this year with the word "<b>intentional</b>". </p><p>You may be wondering why I am writing this at the end of February, aren't blog posts about words-of-the-year supposed to be in January? Well maybe, but at this point in the year I am at least able to reflect on how this word has served me thus far and share it with you, (it is never too late to choose a word-of-the-year) but mostly I didn't really want to talk about how important words-of-the-year are. I wanted to talk to you about how important I think being <b>intentional </b>is. </p><p>I grew up in a very loving, richly nourishing household, I had a very happy childhood and am eternally thankful to my parents for the way I was raised but, (and I checked with my mum on this!) my mum and dad were never very <b>intentional </b>on how they parented, how they nurtured our spiritual lives, what the values of our family were and character building, or on forming lifelong memories and a family culture that would become traditions, rituals and habits, these things happened but they happened accidentally. Essentially the happy outcome of our lives was more a serendipitous accident than part of a carefully planned and throughout out one; a lucky turn of chance that my mum and dad were both very reasonable, loving people, surrounded by a lot of other very reasonable and loving people, who exposed us to many experiences and in a certain time in history which allowed us to develop and grow in a healthy way. </p><p>A bit like a seed that happens to fall on fertile ground, and is watered in a timely manner by the rain, encouraged to grow by the daily appearance of the sun, BUT was lucky enough to not have to go through a drought or flood or to be picked or stepped on. </p><p>Now, this all sounds fine doesn't it, but the thing to remember is that my children are growing up in a completely different time than I was. The world is a totally different place so just relying on replicating my own experience is not only impossible but also not as relevant. I need to form a new path for my family or order for us to remain on a path that is nourishing. I might be lucky and have the rain fall and the sun shine of my little seedlings and all will be well. But what if it isn't? We have just been through a global pandemic like nothing our parents, or we as children ever experienced, to make sure that all is well with my children and my family I need to be <b>intentional </b>about how we live our lives. I need to make sure that we remain on the fertile path, that we remain in the sun, have the right amount of rain and maybe even a spot of fertiliser to boot. </p><p>So what does that mean in practical terms? </p><p>Here I will tell you about some of the ways the word "<b>intentional</b>" is feeding into different aspects of my life as we move into 2021 still in lockdown with many unknowns on the horizon, like moving house to a new area in the coming weeks. I will be holding onto the word as an anchor which will inevitably be a bit of a chaotic time in order to ensure or values and hopes remain. </p><p>Being <b>intentional </b>about screens:</p><p>For me, being <b>intention </b>about screens is about setting limits, both for me and my children. Now, I read and understand a lot about self regulation, I know it is important for children to learn to regulate themselves; their feelings for example and they only learn this by experiencing those feelings, being heard etc. However when it comes to screens, the technology has evolved much more quickly and our poor old human brains haven't been able to keep up. We are exposed to far more stimulation and information than our brains are able to process (and than we were exposed to as children). I can attest to this as someone who has grown up during the technological revolution, even I at the age of 37 am not able to regulate my screen time in any sort of sub-conscious way. The only way I can regulate my screen time is if I give my self strict externally imposed limits. How then could I ever expect my children, whose brains are a long way from being fully grown yet, to be able to regulate themselves on something which is not only addictive in it's very nature, but is actually designed by programmers to be addictive?</p><p>How then do I expect my children to learn to self regulate when it comes to screen time. Answer? I don't. I actually don't think it is possible at this point in history for children to be able to limit their own screen time. The constant stream of media, the 24 -hours-a-day programming, the instant access of phones and tablets means that it is very unlikely that they will just get tired of watching and go off and play in the garden or with their toys. The way screens stimulate the brain releases hormones that cause addiction, so anything less stimulating is just not going to hit those reward sensors in the brain as quickly as screens can. </p><p>The only way I see my children ever being able to control their access to screens is through habit (and a big old prayer to God that this method is going to work!) So I set limits on screen time for them and for myself. Of course we allow an element of flexibility here, if there is a program on that is relevant to our learning then we might enjoy some mid day viewing, or if I'm feeling unwell we will likely allow more screen time to take some pressure off me, and on long car journeys, a tablet with a movie can help prevent my children sleeping which makes bedtime easier. But in general we stick to the boundaries we set. </p><p>What is more, I have also started being more <b>intentional </b>about what my children watch and play. I was finding hours would slip silently away whilst they were playing games on the tablet, or watching mindless shows on YouTube. Home education writer Ainsley Arment says:</p><p>"Dear friend, don't let the bustling culture determine the needs of your own child. You get to choose how they grow up. You can protect their time, energy and imagination. You are the gatekeeper of the garden of their childhood."</p><p>So I decided, whilst I can, I would be having more input into exactly what they were watching and it was going to be things that were nourishing and not over stimulating. </p><p><br /></p><p>Being <b>intentional </b>about learning:</p><p>My approach to our children's education draws from a variety of philosophies, but especially Unschooling and Charlotte Mason. We want to allow plenty of time for our children to play and to explore things that interest them, we allow time for play and learning to evolve, we don't stick to a strict timetable or structure, it takes <b>intentionality </b>to ensure there is time available for this and intentionality to allow flexibility and a rhythmic rather than timetabled approach. However I do not believe my children would think to expose themselves to the art, literature, poetry and music etc that is out in the world if I wasn't <b>intentional </b>about showing it to them. So I plan ahead to ensure that time is spent exploring things outside of their spheres or play and natural learning opportunities that occur with unschooling. </p><p>Planning is key here. I must be <b>intentional</b>. I must plan ahead. If I want to celebrate St David's day, for example, I need to make sure I have accessed books, checked out videos, YouTube, Twinkl (etc...) resources, bought ingredients, and gathered materials in advance that we would need to embrace the festival. This stuff can't happen by accident, it takes planning and intentionality. In the past I have missed out on learning opportunities like this because I haven't planned ahead. </p><p>Planning ahead for my children's learning also leads to planning ahead for celebrations, traditions and rituals. Whilst I am planning learning opportunities for St David's day I am also creating a yearly tradition of celebrating this day, marking it, setting it apart as a special day. This gives us a reason to gather together, a reason to be joyful and a reason to separate ourselves just for a few moments from the daily grind of chores and formal learning and think on a more spiritual and uplifting plane. </p><p>Being <b>intentional </b>about our spirituality:</p><p>Growing up my mum didn't have the wisdom of people like Sally Clarkson to draw from as she parented us in a Christian household. We were taken to church every week, encouraged to get involved in church and youth groups and had books about Christian growth pushed under our noses from time to time. When I reflect on this experience in the frame of being <b>intentional</b>, I am moved to work hard at creating a family culture where our faith is at the centre. It has taken me a long time to get to the point I am at now, so intentionality has been feeding into this for a lot longer than the 2 months of 2021, but being intention has been at the heart of it regardless. </p><p>Sally Clarkson, in her book "The Ministry of Motherhood" says:</p><p>"I realised with the passing of each day that spiritual and emotional maturity would not just happen to my children because I wished it so. It would not come from a passive example of my being good. Effective spiritual, emotional and social training in the lives of my children would have to be both intentional and planned".</p><p>Reading his quote made me realise that, although this approach more or less worked for me growing up, there was definitely no guarantee. I needed to take steps, I needed to know what I was working for and I needed to be <b>intentional</b>. </p><p>Being more <b>intentional </b>in this area has prompted me to dig much deeper into my own spirituality though much more regular prayer, prayerful journaling, Bible study, devotionals and reading books about spiritual growth. I chip away small amounts of time for this on an almost daily basis and I am getting better at it, I can see improvements. None of this would have happened if I had not been <b>intentional </b>about planning and living into those plans. </p><p>For my children this means speaking Godliness into their lives, including the name of Jesus regularly in the language of our everyday lives (not just on Sundays) and praying together as a family. It also means regular, morning, dinner time and bedtime devotionals. All of these things have happened because I was intentional about planning them, about buying books and about making the time for them to happen. They take a force of will. I am very far from where I want to be on this, I am not perfect and I don't achieve all this every day, but by being intestinal about it, I am putting it out there into God's hands that this is how we want to shape our family and trust that his Grace will fill in the gaps. </p><p>Charlotte Mason says:</p><p>"Of the three sorts of knowledge proper to a child, the knowledge of God, the knowledge of man and the knowledge of the universe - the knowledge of God ranks first in importance, is indispensable and most happy-making." </p><p>Realising that my children's spiritual life is the MOST important thing has been key in allowing God to work in our family through creating habits, rituals and a Jesus-imitating attitude. I often fret that we don't do enough maths, or that they haven't had the opportunities some schooled children may have had or that they are too messy, but each time I feel this anxiety growing in me I remind myself that at the end of the day none of that really matters. The ONLY thing that really matters is their relationship with the LORD, and if I get to the end of a day and the only "Educational" thing we did that way was read their morning devotional then I will know that at least what we did do was the most important thing of all. </p><p style="text-align: center;">********</p><p style="text-align: left;">If you enjoyed this post the you might like to hop over to my <a href="https://www.patreon.com/imperfectlynaturalmama">Patreon </a>page where you will discover access to more of my writing. Also stay tuned because I will be elaborating of how the word "<b>intentional</b>" is adding to my life in an upcoming <a href="https://www.patreon.com/imperfectlynaturalmama">Patreon </a>post. </p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p>
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<a target="_blank" href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1578565820/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=1578565820&linkCode=as2&tag=impenatumama-21&linkId=b4aa4844ad96ea82da1817c8622c8477"><img border="0" src="//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=GB&ASIN=1578565820&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=impenatumama-21" ></a>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-75523619551021373932020-10-17T07:28:00.002-07:002020-10-17T09:03:28.894-07:00On Being a Full Time Mum<p><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Post contains affiliate links</span></p><p>Before I had children I was a secondary Art and Design teacher. There was much that I loved about this job, engaging with young people, hearing about their ideas and what made the excited, sharing my passion and love of art with a younger generation, and igniting a spark in <i>them </i>for a love of art. At the end of the school year I could look over my spread sheets of marks, levels and grades and say "yes, I did a good job this year." Seeing some of my pupils go on to do degrees in the arts or gain creative jobs added another layer of job satisfaction, My work here was done. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXqWlvRJgomAI8_pyhAH6jpE02w7nEhQNQowTf_d27-0FZwfkp6RBXvl_NDkOIAjW18NUZT4GI2s9PDINzReML2TOnwOLBOCvOC3CQbMEHHIu5e3KbNEzQu9Ost2EJ3G_EgWwNSlAwVI_9/s5664/20201014_125434.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5664" data-original-width="2752" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXqWlvRJgomAI8_pyhAH6jpE02w7nEhQNQowTf_d27-0FZwfkp6RBXvl_NDkOIAjW18NUZT4GI2s9PDINzReML2TOnwOLBOCvOC3CQbMEHHIu5e3KbNEzQu9Ost2EJ3G_EgWwNSlAwVI_9/s320/20201014_125434.jpg" /></a></div><p>At the age of 28 I gave birth to my first child and I was forever a changed, a new adventure had begun. </p><p>When that day came where I had to make a decision about going back to work, although I enjoyed my job and the rewards, both emotional and financial, the choice was an easy one. Although it would mean living on a small budget and not upgrading our home as many of my friends were, the thought of giving my child to someone else to look after for upwards of 8 hours a day 5 days a week was unthinkable. In spite of the words I was hearing around me about being a full time mother, that I wouldn't be mentally stimulated, that I would lose my identity and financial independence, being able to continue breastfeeding on demand, to be the one to help him off to sleep for a nap, to sit with him whilst he ate, to provide fun activities for him to do, to be there for him when he was sad, to witness his first words and steps, to mother my child full time was too much of a draw. I would be a full time mother. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijfKTHaTQixc6Ai5Sb4Ooj0Vl-AT1PgcEVFYYikw4iEEHtbv0sM8qFateGZhUV3CIMOCZZYZ9ykm-G69mwVbVs_qvhJ8WA2g-5RlYTFbWbaXaJc4lg6DAF7DMrDOkYbGGNP-bTaZjKzitq/s5664/20201007_123053.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2752" data-original-width="5664" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijfKTHaTQixc6Ai5Sb4Ooj0Vl-AT1PgcEVFYYikw4iEEHtbv0sM8qFateGZhUV3CIMOCZZYZ9ykm-G69mwVbVs_qvhJ8WA2g-5RlYTFbWbaXaJc4lg6DAF7DMrDOkYbGGNP-bTaZjKzitq/s320/20201007_123053.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>At the time I didn't know what a challenging role full time mothering would be (there were days during my teacher training when I thought I couldn't be tireder, little did I know that that tiredness was nothing compared to the tiredness of being a first time mum) , I could never had imagined what this adventure of motherhood that I was embarking on would be like. But as I look back over the last 8 years I can honestly say that it is the best, most rewarding and fulfilling job I have ever done. Yes it can be crazy making at times, I continue to be thoroughly sleep deprived, and we are still having to stick to a small budget, but I have had the privilege and honour of being with my children whilst they are little, I will only get that time once. As soon as I had my first child I knew I wanted to be a full time mother and I am so thankful that I get to live that dream. </p><p>It would be easy in our society to feel like I was the only mother in the world to feel this way, in this country it is pretty much standard that mothers will go back to work either part time or full time once their child is at most a year old, only 20% of mothers stay home after the birth of their first child, we are in the minority (although ironically I hear some mums who go back to work experiencing guilt about their decision). Returning to work is expected of you. It is expected of you by society to return to being a contributor to the economy, and therefore it is expected of you by every other part of society. Your family assumes you will return to work, because, although perhaps your mother didn't, you will because that's what modern women do, and being a full time mum is a relic of a past generation. Your friends assume you will because they all are and they all want to. Even your church will assume that you are returning to work because they wouldn't want to appear to be expecting you not to and then seem sexist or old fashioned, (you may even be the only full time mum there). Likely, if you are a valued member of your work team, you've also had pressure from work to return, or at least they would like to know if they need to begin recruiting again. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR_CTSpL-OI4cXPcOnk2jueh2vLdgkPQ-2u-EvpK3zZFCPf3gXNiszKcugvEnGgg2-gGJPpXiUwOT-w4c2gov3sjfvZeoaPkrjnp-0AZ4pjj27Jv9521rIUg78JNHrokQgssCdYnHQx9Kd/s5664/20201006_083806.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5664" data-original-width="2752" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR_CTSpL-OI4cXPcOnk2jueh2vLdgkPQ-2u-EvpK3zZFCPf3gXNiszKcugvEnGgg2-gGJPpXiUwOT-w4c2gov3sjfvZeoaPkrjnp-0AZ4pjj27Jv9521rIUg78JNHrokQgssCdYnHQx9Kd/s320/20201006_083806.jpg" /></a></div><p>It makes you think that there must be something really terrible about being a full time mother, and something that is really amazing about returning to work. </p><p>I find it really strange that some mothers experience guilt and regret about going back to work when it is what most mothers (4 out of 5) do. I experience guilt because of NOT returning to work, I feel guilty that the burden of providing for my family falls 100% on my husbands shoulders I feel guilty that we can't have a more comfortable lifestyle on only one income, that my children don't have some of the luxuries and privileges of other children whose parents both work. But I do not feel guilty about not contributing to the economy, because I know that in spite of what society would have me thing, my role is very very important, Sally Clarkson puts it perfectly:</p><p>"A mother, living well in her God-ordained role is of great beauty and inestimable value to the future history of any generation. Her impact is irreplaceable and necessary to the spiritual formation of children who will be the future adults of the next generation." Mom Heart Moments,</p><p>The message from society is clear in its contrast to this; disparaging phrases like "stuck at home", and "tied to the kitchen sink", reverberate with a feeling of imprisonment and subjugation, words ike "drudgery" and "monotony" will ring in your ears, they make us feel like being a full time mum is a punishment, a last resort, something you might do if you have run out of other options, or have no other skills to do anything else. Society also tells us that other people could be doing a much better job than we are, trained nursery workers are presented as being able to offer our children care and experiences that we never could. </p><p>The message that contributing to the economy is the only way to be useful and of value is insidious and hard to ignore. It is a powerful message, and it has to be because the economy wants mother back in work paying taxes and the leaders do not want mothers at home cultivating a culture of togetherness, unity, home and family; the earthly leaders would rather us all split into our own separate boxes, work, school, care homes etc lest we realise that it is family and community that give our lives meaning, not expensive gadgets, cars and holidays. Without any of the perks, rewards or gratitude one receives in the workplace it takes a lot of strength to believe that what I am doing is worth something, that what I am doing is of value and that what I am doing is something no one else can do. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc56cMr7McKLu8dhOh2LQPSyMmPwLBvRdraeYtSwBIN9Axl61aOE0zapEm0TGts8gZkIwJwcsv851gcFYRWOFYXcTNW237VfapW66QuRWWfAZnsXLoZKJu6f1Ws2n4BBxqZSoYMjilm-1b/s5664/20200927_162323.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2752" data-original-width="5664" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc56cMr7McKLu8dhOh2LQPSyMmPwLBvRdraeYtSwBIN9Axl61aOE0zapEm0TGts8gZkIwJwcsv851gcFYRWOFYXcTNW237VfapW66QuRWWfAZnsXLoZKJu6f1Ws2n4BBxqZSoYMjilm-1b/s320/20200927_162323.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>When I really think about it working on the job of making a home and caring for my family is far more rewarding than any paid work I could ever do. It's the best job in the world! And I choose to make it feel rewarding and satisfying rather than making myself miserable by comparing and craving external validation. I am beholden to no one, I am the Queen of my kingdom. No boss to hold me accountable (aside from God) or check up on me. I am not working to fill someone else's pockets or build someone else's empire. I am in charge. I choose. You might say hanging laundry is boring and tedious, how can anyone find that sort of thing alone satisfying? Well I would rather hang laundry, cook meals and clean and tidy to care for my family, my own flesh and blood, the people who give real meaning to life than work day in day out for a corporation. You might say that being with my kids all day must drive me crazy, and feel unsatisfying, but I'd rather gain fulfillment from breaking up fights between my children, holding them when there are tears, and being there for them when they have nightmares than find fulfillment in filling someone else's pockets. I could serve strangers, or I could commit to serving my family, the gifts from God that I have been blessed with whilst they are all under my roof. Being a full time mother and home maker is an honor and a privilege, I'm looking after my household, I am in charge of making my house a...well a home! It is my job to make my home into a loving, peaceful retreat away from the stresses of the world. It is my job to educate my children in our ways and values, to build their character on the things we feel are important, to nurture them and help them grow into kind, loving thoughtful adults. What could be more rewarding than that? </p><p>As a full time mother there is no end of term tick sheet, no grades, no external validation, it's all a mystery for 18 plus years till you send them out into the world with a prayer and fingers crossed to discover if you did a good job or not. But I would really encourage any mums who are not sure if they want to return to work or to give full time mothering serious consideration, with intention it can fulfill all the wonderful claims that we are told we will gain by returning to work; find your tribe of other mothers to share your feelings with, they are out there if you look beyond the toddler groups and library rhyme time, find mums who share your interests, who have similar life experiences, who have the same parenting philosophies and you will gain so much in mental stimulation, support and encouragement. My mum friends really are the best friends I have and I couldn't be without them. Also remember being a full time mum doesn't mean you stop having other interests. Look at me right now! Writing a blog post and everything! I make time for the things I love, you can even make money from these things if you wish, if you do this you are less likely to experience the "loss of identity" which is so often hung over us as a threat to our emotional welfare if we quit paid work. Remember there will always be jobs out there when the time comes that you are ready to return to work, you are replaceable in your job, but you are not replaceable to your children, and they are only little once. </p><p>I do not need spread sheets and grades to give me a sense of worth and value, witnessing my children grow and develop, seeing them conquer battles and share compassion, hearing their stories, problems, feelings and ideas far outweighs any validation I gained from previous paid employment and I would not change it for the world. What's so great about filling in spread sheets anyway?</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVPdKc1ImWrYgBjis9gk9y6mO4TdPQFs_xfMjMAkI3j8z6CuyHiLiCsd5z0wGIpzX_yfz34V-T34w-IQgCh7ksk9P6k-y8quGa3g51oAGWk7xZ7_kzf7tcymmFqBQAEUh-Cs_2FyvjKJY6/s5664/20200924_110717.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5664" data-original-width="2752" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVPdKc1ImWrYgBjis9gk9y6mO4TdPQFs_xfMjMAkI3j8z6CuyHiLiCsd5z0wGIpzX_yfz34V-T34w-IQgCh7ksk9P6k-y8quGa3g51oAGWk7xZ7_kzf7tcymmFqBQAEUh-Cs_2FyvjKJY6/s320/20200924_110717.jpg" /></a></div><p>P.S I know that there are people reading this who will disagree with what I have said here, and that's cool, we don't all have to agree on everything, we can still be friends and have different ideas about how to live life, I am simply sharing my own positive experiences and outlook in the hope that it might give another mum the courage to do the thing she dearly wishes to do but didn't feel confident enough to try. It's to encourage that mum to take that step in spite of the messages she has been receiving from all around her, to ignore those messages and live the life she dreams of, if you're not that mum, that's cool, this message isn't for you. This is a message to mums for whom it is not financially critical for them to return to work, if you're not that mum, that's OK, this post isn't for you. We are all different and if you're not relating to anything I am saying here then this post probably isn't the post for you and that's fine. I can't please everyone. I am all for supporting mums in their choices, let's life each other up, not tear eachother down just because we have different ideas about what is best for our families. However my message will always draw from my own personal well of experience and be for those who wish to receive it.</p><p>Did you enjoy reading this post? You can read more of my work for a small monthly subscription over on my Patreon page:</p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><a data-patreon-widget-type="become-patron-button" href="https://www.patreon.com/bePatron?u=17396955">Become a Patron!</a><div><br /></div><div>Here are some more of my creative projects that I sell on my Etsy shop:</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/585764923/affirmation-cards-download-positive?ref=shop_home_active_10" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1092" data-original-width="794" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW5LpbitKQGRA-h2ORcu_asstUnmSnSzVRIu91W8Rpz8yDUJRJJJ3FD6gs-VVgizkK1AJNLvKdAtsTdQGcCQ7zCSqpj16yigOAVlrsOi5J6J1OCRMlMdco7IixeNFdXElu3sCkMLLkBZgt/s320/Affirmation+cards.jpg" /></a></div><a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/809915426/mama-space-creative-journal-50-journal?ref=shop_home_active_6" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1154" data-original-width="794" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdfe5-NtIRPp-0jXyuc9pvQ1Abngov0kSPU0EpOSF34K91StyrYjLP68MVkRKXOqOfq9AW6FJLK8wnjabgkizSqJtUaI4oUXNTKEdfDyyNaAghCBEGV-2gecAhwUuDSzX_HVsVBhrWKGm_/s320/mama+space+journal.jpg" /></a></div><div><script async="" src="https://c6.patreon.com/becomePatronButton.bundle.js"></script><div><br /></div><div>If you need some encouragement in your mothering journey, I highly recommend the following books:</div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1400204666/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=1400204666&linkCode=as2&tag=impenatumama-21&linkId=ad42fb0475540077b9f6ed4dac66e44e" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=GB&ASIN=1400204666&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=impenatumama-21" /></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="//ir-uk.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=impenatumama-21&l=am2&o=2&a=1400204666" style="border: none; margin: 0px;" width="1" /> <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0062916513/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=0062916513&linkCode=as2&tag=impenatumama-21&linkId=8ccce08be62ac09555374b8aa6a59d9b" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=GB&ASIN=0062916513&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=impenatumama-21" /></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="//ir-uk.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=impenatumama-21&l=am2&o=2&a=0062916513" style="border: none; margin: 0px;" width="1" /> <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1496432150/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=1496432150&linkCode=as2&tag=impenatumama-21&linkId=25dbf32f41bfbb64125f87dbca65fed5" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=GB&ASIN=1496432150&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=impenatumama-21" /></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="//ir-uk.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=impenatumama-21&l=am2&o=2&a=1496432150" style="border: none; margin: 0px;" width="1" /> <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B007FZSRD0/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=B007FZSRD0&linkCode=as2&tag=impenatumama-21&linkId=f660bd9c4206745d22cecf4745a014bc" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=GB&ASIN=B007FZSRD0&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=impenatumama-21" /></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="//ir-uk.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=impenatumama-21&l=am2&o=2&a=B007FZSRD0" style="border: none; margin: 0px;" width="1" /> <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1578565812/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=1578565812&linkCode=as2&tag=impenatumama-21&linkId=c64311f50e8a790df6f3cec33183bcef" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=GB&ASIN=1578565812&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=impenatumama-21" /></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="//ir-uk.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=impenatumama-21&l=am2&o=2&a=1578565812" style="border: none; margin: 0px;" width="1" /> <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B012P6LEJM/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=B012P6LEJM&linkCode=as2&tag=impenatumama-21&linkId=5744cab06ef34d783a591c5204dc1347" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=GB&ASIN=B012P6LEJM&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=impenatumama-21" /></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="//ir-uk.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=impenatumama-21&l=am2&o=2&a=B012P6LEJM" style="border: none; margin: 0px;" width="1" />imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-17595645558778180732020-10-03T07:17:00.001-07:002020-10-03T07:17:30.146-07:00Lockdown reflections<p>A friend called me out on my complaining this week.</p><p>As most of you know I have struggled through lockdown and continue to struggle through the ongoing restrictions. Phrases like "the new normal" set my teeth on edge and I want to throttle anyone to tells me that there is no going back to what we had before and that the virus will be with us forever. </p><p>I enjoyed my life before lockdown. I enjoyed seeing my friends and family, I enjoyed being able to do things spontaneously, I enjoyed socialising with other families, I enjoyed going to church and singing hymns. Living in our tiny house wasn't so bad when we were out of it most of the day at groups, other people's houses or visiting places, I have found spending more time at home with three children and an extra adult in the house all day (my husband working in our tiny bedroom) very challenging. I have had intense moments of cabin fever, wanting not only to run away from the house but to climb out of my own skin and just get away. But we've been trapped. </p><p>That's how I've felt during lockdown: trapped. </p><p>I have read often in messages from friends and on facebook that people have enjoyed lockdown. All I could feel about this was envy and irritation. How can they find THIS enjoyable!! Don't they know how hard it's been for ME? How dare they say they've enjoyed it! </p><p style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2752" data-original-width="5664" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnwjuQ821A49zZ25tpwyHYrcCwwIFN-vrOpcJjKAPIrSWruB23o9Q-5yInr17eNTRHOx9yo785LOysbYH3W6FWrKxvPmF6CdCKcsfMp2eyGRNhMfkHzGtZA64kCTdN7RhdeTff8JCzfUJC/w640-h310/20200704_130741.jpg" width="640" /></p><p>And this is where my friend came in with her truth. And I am so thankful for her insight.</p><p>"Your life was good before lockdown so lockdown is just a bad patch for you. For the people who have enjoyed lockdown their lives were worse before and the lockdown is the good patch for them; and that's sad."</p><p>Lightbulb!</p><p>For some people lockdown has been like an oasis in the desert, compared to my relatively small shadow in the light, (apologies for the mixed metaphors). There are people out there who have had to go to a miserable job everyday who have been furloughed or else been able to work from home for whom lockdown has been a huge relief and a rest, maybe they've got away from a mean boss or unpleasant coworkers and be able to relax and be themselves, there are people who have been able to spend time with their children that perhaps they never felt able to before due to school pressure, endless hobbies and clubs, and they have loved it. There are people who have really enjoyed being able to spend time at home instead of travelling away for work, there are people whose lives may have been so busy before that lockdown has given them the chance to pause and reflect on their lives. </p><p>So while I have been busy moaning about how hard lockdown is for me, I should have been being thankful that my life was so good before and that lockdown in only temporary. For me that bad bit is temporary, for other people the good bit is temporary. Talk about food for thought.</p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxJXdTTb8IoO9CrD8jzdRd7lbtuznObFxv1w4BGJxZBxi2GurKrhn8cirNYXn0FsmDGOaCeDbpqNIcS26dgjNRV7nHtrNX93U7P3reb5qZjUAm0yDtDiwJKSH1_u6IgH9Lzu8nc6AA-hgg/s5664/20200722_105643.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2752" data-original-width="5664" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxJXdTTb8IoO9CrD8jzdRd7lbtuznObFxv1w4BGJxZBxi2GurKrhn8cirNYXn0FsmDGOaCeDbpqNIcS26dgjNRV7nHtrNX93U7P3reb5qZjUAm0yDtDiwJKSH1_u6IgH9Lzu8nc6AA-hgg/w640-h310/20200722_105643.jpg" width="640" /></a></p><p>I don't mean at all to sound patronising to people here, my life was good before but not perfect and I certainly don't mean to sound boastful or prideful about my life because it's not that at all. It's gratitude, it's appreciation, it's thankfulness. It's feeling like actually I have got a lot to be happy about my life, as much as there are hard parts, like everyone else, overall, it's pretty damn good. </p><p>Now there is no point in a moment of epiphany if one doesn't take something from it and change. How am I going to use this insight and make a difference in my life. Here are some ways I am starting to make changes:</p><p>Stop moaning about how hard it all is, it's not as hard for me in lockdown as it is for some people normally, </p><p>Tell myself that I enjoy cleaning and tidying for my family (fake it to make it!),</p><p>Make the best of the home we have, we are lucky to have one of our own despite how small it is, </p><p>Enjoy my children as much as possible, I am fortunate to be able to home educate them, </p><p>Craft a beautiful life.</p><p> <img border="0" data-original-height="5664" data-original-width="2752" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrNF0Yr_pKZJeHM6Z9fcaKaV-CmabPhOb1tx3_oTNSyjZg4y0A_StHBuQLqx53ScSXWaxonDfdqSO3rXrpKb9AD4zRriC70-F2ZwC1l1YXiclCQlJjxZqJBCkjx60v3PPPXGVa7YYoBkbO/w310-h640/20200730_141302.jpg" width="310" /></p><p>My wise friend messaged me later and said this:</p><p>"Compare lockdown with food rationing during the war. Families that were more well off, and could usually afford a wide variety of quality food, found rationing really difficult. They were so unsatisfied with it because they were used to much better and much more food that that, and they tended to be the people that would buy stuff on the black market quite regularly. However, the poorer working class families thrived during rationing because they were usually mal-nourished. And so, they found that they were now getting more food than they'd ever had before. A lot of them said "we've never had it so good!" By the end of the war the British nation was at its most healthy in terms of nutrition and cardio-vascular health as a result of rationing. There was no gap in health between the rich and the poor. Be like the poor people. Proclaim to yourself: "we've never had it so good!" Even if you don't feel like it."</p><p> </p><p>Do you enjoy my writing and would like to read more? Head on over to my Patreon account to read more of my insights, reflections and lightbulb moments:</p><p><br /></p>
<div style="text-align: center;"><a data-patreon-widget-type="become-patron-button" href="https://www.patreon.com/bePatron?u=17396955">Become a Patron!</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">More of my creative endeavors:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/809915426/mama-space-creative-journal-50-journal?ref=shop_home_active_5" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1154" data-original-width="794" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgc3NcSBhiiuktQUfRvw1oVlsHIxaffK9X1dDvGhp5nVrq3IPiF-KdSsHFZ9FMy_Wmc9gmGqDtKZAyZVyhgolapyGtTlEcaVFhnNkmWlWBTsSCWYrnKEawEnDwoVrg_JrRzrziZ-Zq-VjB/w275-h400/mama+space+journal.jpg" width="275" /></a> <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/585764923/affirmation-cards-download-positive?ref=shop_home_active_9" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1092" data-original-width="794" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCcM2r_jszjNa0jta9O2ItTEHZD5y5mbwMe_Q_8G5jHcsbanUV_KceSKHpPcl2OHNBjZxYK-p7AHLKd-1GTFKurAiicyyllVWPBmzzIYoQlKzvihOe04T9hSjxcfAVrcSM4RoVXo2bsJ2N/w291-h400/Affirmation+cards.jpg" width="291" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/505938036/positive-affirmation-card-mini-e?ref=shop_home_active_11" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1111" data-original-width="769" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ7-of8MztLBZn6lpCmLg_D1Bi3OhwN8cebrdY9fLry3SgM8LLpDJjsg8bSO2euGssdSaSzeZr3Cf67AC8gLQTM5l1OnxfkPZ4iQfi9ZkMl6Fh2Tv-dnUFIwYx2U6H5_MnO5E9AHSrLJxM/w276-h400/affirmation+card+tutorial+front+page.jpg" width="276" /></a> <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/799032986/listen-with-your-heart-mandala-rainbow?ref=shop_home_active_1" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1063" data-original-width="794" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd55QJ80VPVPW85Uf6crTDDgKnisxaYfxcKb7G-5lNGHs1Vf_-Q0-9CcE3CCYU9LA7oVCvps6LO2wG4gyg7mUdWSr-wE9SiSEJC8MTmprYGRW9Mn3jePyGs6Wle7hj6_-m4Nj_sS5LrqrW/w299-h400/listen+with+your+heart.jpg" style="text-align: left;" width="299" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a data-patreon-widget-type="become-patron-button" href="https://www.patreon.com/bePatron?u=17396955"><script async="" src="https://c6.patreon.com/becomePatronButton.bundle.js"></script></a>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-23891394191035372112020-09-15T13:49:00.002-07:002020-09-15T13:50:49.246-07:00Stepping into motherhood<p><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Post contains affiliate links</span></p><p>I was recently part of a conversation on Facebook where a woman was asking for parenting resources particularly for her as a mother who was new to gentle parenting and wanted support and encouragement from other mums. One of the commenters replied asking why she would need resources particularly for mothers as "it's all parenting". A couple of other people who replied also seems confused as to why anyone would want resources specific to mothers. This was really disheartening for the original poster who just wanted some links to resources that might help her embrace this new philosophy. It also made me sad that Christian mothers couldn't see that parenting a child as a woman or parenting a child as a man are two different things and that each has value. Of course there is a massive amount of overlap which is why most parenting books are helpful to both mums and dads, but to deny that there are any differences at all seemed to me not only unbiblical (the Bible makes it clear that God created us with different unique gifts), but also reductionist, reducing us from our unique and sacred roles as mothers or fathers to an all encompassing and homogenous "parents". It's also just plain unhelpful for people seeking resources suited to their sex. </p><p>This denial that women and men have spiritual and emotional differences and needs is also happening in churches, women are rejecting sex separated groups and ministry, often preferring everyone together all the time. Long gone is the mothers union. Why are women rejecting women's ministry? Why do they see no value in women gathering together in a space of shared experiences? </p><p>I am sure I have some beloved readers who are feeling their blood pressure rise as they read this thinking I am talking about gender stereotypes. I'm not. I am not talking about how mothers should be staying home cleaning and cooking whilst dads should be the ones going out to work, nor am I saying mothers should be the soft ones who offer comfort and sympathy whilst dads should be the tough ones dishing out discipline and rough housing. The debate over whether and how male and females brains are different and whether these differences are social or biological will probably go on for decades, even some of the most respected thinkers haven't been able to draw concrete conclusions, but it is my belief that there <i>are </i>differences between men and women, fathers and mothers that go beyond our reproductive organs, hormones and social upbringing. This stems from my own personal observations and experience, and from my perspective as a Christian which looks to the Bible for truth about things that science cannot explain. The Bible is consistent in the picture it paints of what it means to be male and female and the fact of them being different, not that women in are in any way inferior to men or that women and men shouldn't do things together or that there are many things that are the same for women and men, but that God made us different for a special reason. </p><p>So all that to say (as a disclaimer!), what I want to discuss here isn't whether men and women, mothers and father are different (you can safely assume that I believe they are) what I want to discuss is why some Christian women would question the value of resources specific to mothers and fathers, men and women, why they would reject the Biblical (and may I say rather wonderful) ways than the sexes differ in preference for a homogenous application of spirituality and treatment generally. </p><p>So why are women rejecting women only spaces? And why are women not seeing the value in resources and support tailored to their unique roles as mothers? </p><p>Maybe women aren't just rejecting women and mother only spaces and specific resources but they are rejecting womanhood and motherhood altogether. I see this in the way we treat periods (pretend we aren't having them, treat them as a huge inconvenience, take hormones to eliminate them etc), breastfeeding (hide it away, minimise it as much as possible or decline participating at all etc), pregnancy (expected to carry on as if nothing is happening, talk about the pregnancy as it is is something the male partner also experiences "we're pregnant!" etc) and childbirth (unnecessary intervention, mistrust of a woman's ability to birth, rejection of physiological childbirth due to fear etc), women are rejecting the very functions that make them women (and just to clarify I am not saying that women who do not experience these things are any less women.) I talk about these more in my series on Patreon <a href="https://www.patreon.com/imperfectlynaturalmama" target="_blank">HERE </a>. There are several reasons why I believe women are rejecting womanhood:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>History of marginalisation, oppression and persecution: Aside from a few ancient maternal societies, women have been marginalised, oppressed and persecuted by men. Is it any wonder then that they want to reject those things that define their femininity? By avoiding women's only groups, by rejecting the idea that resources designed specifically for mothers or fathers are of value women can feel like they are moving away from this historical oppression. Women can hope then to be treated exactly the same as men, be treated as their equal. Women and mothers are perhaps trying to shake off the negative historical connotations of womanhood and motherhood, those gender stereotypes I mentioned earlier, plus the stereotypes of servitude and weakness.</li><li>Pressure to be an economic contributor: Motherhood has no immediate value to the economy, so it is not supported by government or businesses. In fact whole other businesses have been created on the back of women returning to work (childcare). The message that paid work is the only work that is of value is deeply ingrained into our modern society and into the psyche of women. Many of my mother peers have never had the role model of a mum at home to affirm their own desire to be with their children, and there are no celebrity role models for motherhood. Also women feel guilty about staying home when their husbands are in paid work (as if looking after your children is a holiday!). </li><li>Sexualisation and objectification of women's bodies: Most women don't want to be constantly sexualised and objectified, yet this is the image we constantly bombarded with in the media and from society. We are told that our worth is in our ability to excite the male gaze and if our visage doesn't do this we are spent, rejected and useless. Some women <i>find </i>their sense of worth through being objectified in this way and when their bodies do not fit with the stereotype of what is sexually acceptable they lose their sense of worth. Women who don't feel this way and never wanted to be sexualised to begin with are stepping away from womanhood in order to avoid the sexualisation of our bodies. We think if we can be more like men then we won't be sexualised and objectified by them. </li></ul><div>Historically women were marginalized and oppressed by men because of our biology so the obvious solution to this is to reject it (as mentioned above) Clearly this hasn't worked. Women are still oppressed and marginalised, maybe we in the west are married off as children, or sent to huts during our periods or refused positions of power in businesses, now, instead we oppress ourselves. Instead of being oppressed by the patriarchy we now kowtow to the economy, we think we are free because we are no longer tied to the perceived slavery of domesticity, but we are enslaved anew byt out own chosen economic servitude. Stepping into motherhood, grabbing it with both hands and embracing everything that it is is the most empowering thing I have ever done. Making that choice, not because I am forced to by a society that expects women to stay home as it did in the past but because I know in my heart that being a full time mother is the best thing I can do with the time I have with my children when they are little. </div><div>As Sally Clarkson says in her book Desperate:</div><div><br /></div><div>"Understanding that the best and most lasting "work" I would ever do was wrapped up in my call as a mother gave me a grand scope for my life such as I had never known before. I began to see that the nurturing of my children was my great stewardship in every part of their little lives: accepting them into my arms and bearing the responsibility for their health from feeding at my breasts; developing their emotional well-being by encouraging them to attach deeply to me as infants; stimulating their brains by talking with them, touching them, snuggling with them; and predisposing them to know the love of God by building pathways in their brains. I was just beginning to grasp how profound God had created the role of mother to be."</div><div><br /></div><div>If we, instead of criticising women who don't go back to work; encourage and uplift them, we ultimately uplift the role of motherhood for everyone. Maybe in the future we will see a generation of women emboldened enough to choose full time motherhood as a role that is just as valid (and maybe even more so) than returning to paid work, even if only for a short time (but perhaps longer that the government approved maximum of a year) How about we petition the government for longer maternity leave, fully paid rather than free childcare so we can return to paid work? If we made motherhood a desirable option maybe more mums who wanted to stay home would feel empowered to make that choice. </div><div><br /></div><div>There is already a movement towards accepting different body types, embracing our stretch marks, marvelling at our baggy skin, but the market for body hatred is still going strong. We have a long way to go before women feel strong enough to reject whatever the current fashion is for a sexy body, before women are strong enough to say with confidence and truly believing that enough is enough, women are beautiful in their own right, the approval of men isn't what makes us beautiful. </div><div><br /></div><div>I imagine a future where we truly celebrate our stretch marks and loose skin, not as a token gesture towards body acceptance, but as badges of the amazing things our bodies have done. Maybe if we were excited about our first grey hair, our first wrinkle as a mark of achievement, a sign that we were one of the lucky ones who lived long enough to get them, we would feel like our female bodies are a thing of wonder to be honoured, treated with care and love. Our bodies are just fine as they are fabulous in fact. Your loved ones aren't going to love you any more for whiter teeth, smoother bellies or thinner thighs, they love you just as you are, and anyone who would love you more because of these things isn't worth having in your life, lets stop being handmaidens to the patriarchy by continuing to spend money on these things, by continuing to agree that this or that is more beautiful. Embracing our bodies with all their natural oddities and differences is the first step towards accepting and embracing our womanhood and motherhood. Imagine if, because of how we talked about and treated our bodies today, we nurtured a generation of girls and boys who really believed that natural bodies, in all their variety were beautiful. Imagine a generation who rejected cosmetic surgery to make themselves all look the same. It just takes us being brave enough to say that yellowy teeth are ok, that baggy bellies are just fine thanks, that thin lips, flat bums and small/big/low/wonky breasts are just as good as any other kind, to dismantle an entire industry! </div><div><br /></div><div>We have all this within our power if we choose to embrace our womanhood and our motherhood, to join together with other women who feel the same. I want to encourage all women and especially mothers who feel like rejecting women only spaces, groups, ministry books etc, because of some sense of discomfort with these things to carefully examine their subconscious, step deeply into their discomfort, and consider the reasons why they feel this way because I am not convinced it is a simple as preferring male company and feeling like we are the same. Joining with other women is one of the most empowering acts of sisterhood a woman can claim, as artist Sark says: </div><div><br /></div><div>"The circle of women around us weave invisible nets of love that carry us when we are weak and sing with us when we are strong."</div><div><br /></div><div>So today consider the women around you, we all have something in common; a shared experience of being women and mothers. We are united by the shared physical experiences we all have an understanding of, puberty, menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, motherhood and just simply the lived experience of being a woman in this world which comes with much that men can never fully understand (having not lived it) including the oppression by the patriarchy, the fear of male violence, the power of the media and beauty industry to undermine our confidence, and the pressure to make money by a society that says this is where you find value.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you are struggling to find women to connect with, keep persevering, there are women out there like you, with similar interests and passions, keep looking, keep going to those toddler groups, those women's craft afternoons, those NCT meets, those breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth bumming groups, keep searching till you find your tribe, it's out there I promise. I think we could transform the world by grasping womanhood and motherhood with two arms, by really honouring the role of motherhood and the unique and marvelous gift it is to the world. You are not wasting your time or your skills by embracing motherhood when your children are little, it is the best thing you could possibly do with this one wild and precious life. You are not any less of a person when you embrace your womanhood, sisterhood, motherhood, let's embrace it now, let's step into it, lets uplift others who are doing it, it can be wonderful and rewarding and empowering and it might just be there for the taking. </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">We rise by lifting others.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="https://www.patreon.com/imperfectlynaturalmama" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="208" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXulmUGfmpJIxTikGj1RsqpLQqzeYPC9wZCVct24HpJU0XhZ50qFFsr_vEXtt5KNRt-3Gd2vt-e4XQ3U1-UlDj58seejh23vzhdxQI1kKGVC_yc2owopwXN3Eb5dS3QSmpaCxuOiN06bP9/s320/support+my+work+on+patreon+logo.png" width="320" /></a></span></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/809915426/mama-space-creative-journal-50-journal?ref=shop_home_active_4" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1154" data-original-width="794" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsPgzZscCYEDEFGt4q3VsPp_iLdmvBrjMZHJrU-VCG3uHRrruv9H9WZ8xMYm7Jp8JghadkA-SgYYlNHVWpVmckBaILuq_ZdcRRnZHyeR8tcvGTqU0g2y9FXalHGFBGXQSJFB9Ezb1gk_gD/s320/mama+space+journal.jpg" style="text-align: left;" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://www.patreon.com/imperfectlynaturalmama" target="_blank"></a></td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /><br /></div>
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<a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/014019245X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=014019245X&linkCode=as2&tag=impenatumama-21&linkId=3769cf8635a5df8ba09cdd09b865412f" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=GB&ASIN=014019245X&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=impenatumama-21" /></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="//ir-uk.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=impenatumama-21&l=am2&o=2&a=014019245X" style="border: none; margin: 0px;" width="1" /> <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0316778095/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=0316778095&linkCode=as2&tag=impenatumama-21&linkId=e0225b84ab219e8b75e665ddbe5f0330" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=GB&ASIN=0316778095&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=impenatumama-21" /></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="//ir-uk.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=impenatumama-21&l=am2&o=2&a=0316778095" style="border: none; margin: 0px;" width="1" /><div><br /><br /></div>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8956705662684207065.post-31882734530200918592020-08-22T17:43:00.007-07:002020-08-22T17:43:42.091-07:00Let's go fly a kite<p> This week we had one lovely, blustery day. I took the boys up to the local playing field with a few kites and the intention to fly them. After a rather dodgy start with one kite whose string frayed through and another that refused to fly at all, we finally got one up in the air and flying beautifully. The boys eventually lost interest and went off to play in the playground whilst I continued to hold meditatively onto the handle of the kite, enjoying the sensation of the gentle tugging, the feeling of being connected to the wind high above me and the sight of the coloured kite swirling and twirling in the air like a party streamer. I imagined the kite was trying to free itself from the tether of the string and fly free across the sky.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPvLFlZixmUIa9B1xWmGYpJNCt8CQ9na8HFZPyXDLx1f4K1S93Sv8Fcy6VpDmmKsYrXbOgq2u1aeqmh_aK2gT-Ef_s8Hx0xIJasD2M5IpjBcCYVHxqYYLTMb8dpaGw5RA8QmHeFvorcBW9/s2542/20200821_114415.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2542" data-original-width="1237" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPvLFlZixmUIa9B1xWmGYpJNCt8CQ9na8HFZPyXDLx1f4K1S93Sv8Fcy6VpDmmKsYrXbOgq2u1aeqmh_aK2gT-Ef_s8Hx0xIJasD2M5IpjBcCYVHxqYYLTMb8dpaGw5RA8QmHeFvorcBW9/s640/20200821_114415.jpg" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>This idea got me thinking. Am I like a kite that feels tethered and wants to be free? What is tying me down and stopping me from swooping and flying? It would be easy to imagine that when I committed my life to God as a Christian, to following Him only, I tethered myself like the kite. Initially this thought felt awkward and restricting and I had to wrestle with it for a moment, but then came a divine flash of insight. I imagined myself letting go of the kite to allow it to fly free, I imagined what would happen to that kite....</p><p>It would be blown chaotically across the sky, it would no longer hold its shape, it would swoop off in random directions, we wouldn't be able to see it's beautiful colours, the string would get tangled and wrapped around itself, it would likely get stuck in a tree or else drop to the floor still and lifeless, tumbling across the playing field like an abandoned crisp packet. The kite was free, but was it able to show its best? Could the kite live it's best life untethered? I realised with clarity that no, it couldn't. </p><p>For me in that moment this was very much an analogy of life with God. When we tether ourselves to God, it can appear like we are no longer free, like we are restricted, tied down, but in fact when we tether ourselves we can become the best version of ourselves possible. With God holding the string our beautiful colours show, we can swoop and twirl in the wind in a beautiful and intentional display as the wind fills us and allows us to fly as high as possible, bold and bright against the sky, tail and ribbons dancing joyfully in the wind. This is not the chaos and collapse of life without a tether. What's more, with God we are protected, he keeps us safe from blowing away, we cannot get lost and are less likely to get stuck in a tree, he tucks us under his wing during a storm. Of course sometimes the wind drops and we flop, but we can always trust that God is holding us in the low times and if we do get tangled in branches, when we are tethered to God we can trust that he is going to climb that tree to us and get us down when we call for help. </p><p>I am so thankful to live a life tethered to God, I am thankful that because I have asked him to, and invited him into my life, He has hold tight of me and won't let me go. I am thankful that I can be my best self when I trust in His word and love and I am thankful that He is my protector in times of trouble, the one who is always there for me, whom I can always turn to, who shares in my joys and sadness and cares for me as a perfect father who cares for His child. The exquisite freedom that is granted when I am being tethered to God is far more beautiful, joyful and satisfying that any supposed freedom the world has to offer. </p><p>But the amazing thing about God is that he doesn't force us to be tethered, he doesn't make us be held, he gives us ultimate freedom to choose to be tied to him or not. And there is one thing that I am coming to learn, not just from flying kites but from understanding God and it is as Thomas Watson says: <span style="font-family: inherit;">"<span style="background-color: white; color: #212529; text-align: center;">To serve God, to love God, to enjoy God, is the sweetest freedom in the world."</span></span></p><div class="theQuote" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #212529; font-size: 20px; text-align: center;"><div class="fb-quote fb_iframe_widget" fb-iframe-plugin-query="app_id=&container_width=1349&href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.christianquotes.info%2Fquotes-by-topic%2Fquotes-about-freedom%2F&locale=en_US&sdk=joey" fb-xfbml-state="rendered" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: inline-block; left: 165.5px; position: absolute; top: -40px;"><br /></div></div><div class="theAuthor" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; margin-top: 35px; text-align: center;"><br /></div>imperfectly natural mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851222967620246892noreply@blogger.com0