Recently I watched an episode of an American TV show about weight loss. It was really inspiring, a woman was enrolled onto a special support programme of diet and fitness and with the help of specialist gym equipment, qualified instructors and nutritionists she lost loads of weight and at the end of the show she looked really amazing, I will come back to this later.
The weekend before last I finished off my three month(ish) wholefoods vegan diet with a four day juice feast to knock those last few kilos of weight (that I really didn't need) on the head and to see if I could improve my health.
It was HARD! I wanted solid food! Buuuuuut not as hard as I thought it would be. Unlike a few years ago when I did Raw Till 4, I didn't get any "detoxing" symptoms (I am putting detoxing in inverted commas because I don't like the term as it is so unscientific, but what I mean is my body didn't have such a shock switching to juice as it did switching to Raw Till 4 so, no diarrhoea, no headaches or nausea etc which I think is a testament to how healthily I was eating before hand.). although I did feel tired and had a wobbly moment on the morning of the third day where my husband had to feed me some banana so I could get out of bed!
The good news is I reached my weight loss target and actually felt pretty good on the last day and like I could have carried on for longer, (I didn't of course! I gorged myself on Chinese food that very evening and have subsequently gained two kilos!!)
Now I need to work at maintaining (re-achieving) my goal weight, I am already getting carried away eating toast and the like so I need to be really careful.
It is wonderful to not be overweight any more, it's is wonderful to be able to fit into all my old clothes, even if they are mostly wide legged trousers from the late 90's, to not have my thighs rub together when I wear a summer skirt, to be able to see my collar bones and most importantly to have reduced my risk of many illnesses like diabetes, cancer and heart disease. But as I reflect on this journey I am struck by the stark fact that I am still the same person deep down that I was when I was overweight. I don't feel like a slim person, a healthy person or any better than the person I was before. What I have come to realise on this diet and lifestyle is that it doesn't matter how much weight you lose, how fit you are, you're still the same person you were before.
Now thankfully, over the past few years I have come to actually quite like myself, so it wasn't a massive disappointment to come to the end of the journey to find that I was in fact just as happy slim as I was overweight. But I know this isn't always the case. In fact the mere fact of not liking ourselves to begin with can be the very things that is stopping us from losing weight in the first place.
We are sold the idea that if you're slim and fit and healthy you'll be happy too, and there is always this tendency to chase this idea, but sadly it's a lie. It doesn't matter how slim or fit, or healthy we are, if there is something broken inside us no amount of dieting and exercising will fix it.
We might manage to fight our way along the road to a slim, toned body, but no true healing will have taken place if that journey doesn't also include a process of internal healing as well.
True happiness doesn't come from how you look on the outside, it comes from working hard on the important relationship we have with ourselves; addressing issues we have, facing up to ourselves and doing the really hard work internally.
One of my affirmations from my be series available as a digital download in my shop
Going back to that American TV show. The most important change the woman made in her life wasn't changing her diet or getting to the gym it was addressing some very deep pain she had from the past, issues with her family and a terrible incident that dramatically affected her life and caused her so much pain, self hatred and guilt. When she finally faced up to everything that happened and was able to put the past behind her the real change in her life occurred and she was able to be truly happy again.
I believe that the journey to a healthy body starts with a healthy mind and that somehow releasing the past opens up pathways that enable the weight to go; and to go forever.
I am reminded of some lyrics from a Dolly Parton song that I love called "Better Get to Livin'":
I said you'd better get to livin', givin'
Be willing and forgivin'
Cause all healing has to start with you
You better stop whining, pining
Get your dreams in line
And then just shine, design, refine
Until they come true
And you better get to livin'[....]
You better get to livin', givin'
A little more thought about bein'
A little more willin' to make a better way
Don't sweat the small stuff
Keep your chin up
Just hang tough
And if it gets too rough
Fall on your knees and pray
And do that everyday
Then you'll get to livin'.
Her words somehow sum up what we need to improve our lives; there is definitely a message about working on yourself from the inside, some positive visualisation, mindfulness and affirmations and last but not least submitting our lives to a higher power, and not just on the days when things get tough, but every. single. day. I am writing this to remind myself as much as to share with you as I face a future with a healthy body, I need to remember always to be working on my heart and mind, they are the most important and affect everything else.
If you're interested in the diet I followed to lose weight, check it out HERE, I am still offering this 7 day vegan wholefoods meal plan for "pay what you want".
This was my first breakfast after my juice feast, I was seriously craving something savory and this really hit the spot.
If you're interested in the diet I followed to lose weight, check it out HERE, I am still offering this 7 day vegan wholefoods meal plan for "pay what you want".
